Chapter 4
PAIGE
“C’mon, gorgeous boy, time for the sandman.” I snuggle a sleeping Alfie into me one last time. I lay a soft kiss against his thick head of blond hair that smells like sweet milk and vanilla powder, then gently place him in his crib in his nursery I spent hours decorating. “Love you, little man.”
One day, he’ll appreciate how much I love him and the sacrifices I made for him.
Just like I do every night since he arrived, I perch myself on the edge of the rocking chair and enjoy the moment, simply watching him, observing his adorable movements as he stretches his arms above his head before opening and closing his pouty little mouth.
That adorable little boy with the button nose has changed my world. He turned everything upside down, but now that he’s in my life, I can’t imagine him not being here.
“Night, night,” I whisper with a smile, quietly moving from the chair to leave the nursery, lifting the baby monitor off the dresser before I exit and close the door, but not fully.
Tilting my head left and then right to stretch out the tension, I turn on my new best friend, a baby monitor with a video display, so that I can watch Alfie; it’s my favorite TV show.
“What a day.” I talk to myself as I head down the hallway, then go down the stairs and summon whatever last bit of energy I have left.
I enter the messy kitchen that looks like it’s been hit by a Tasmanian devil, grabbing a chilled bottle of water out of the fridge.
Long gone are the nights I’d sit around my dining table in my immaculate home working late into the night with a glass of wine, but now that Alfie is in my life, I prefer to keep a clear head just in case he wakes up in the night.
I hook two fingers through the strap of my workbag and lift it off the floor, its weight pressing down on my shoulder as I head for the dining table.
Fumbling with the baby monitor and my bottle of water, I place them on the table, nearly knocking them over in the process. With a sigh, I unzip my workbag, start pulling out the papers I need, and dust off the dinner crumbs from the seat before sliding into the chair.
Yellow light from above pools over a sea of legal briefs.
Tomorrow’s hearing casts a long shadow, and I can’t afford to show up with a foggy head.
Not now. Not with my place at Moore & Associates already on thin ice.
The partners have noticed the late arrivals and the unexpected absences since Alfie’s appearance in my life.
While they’ve been supportive, I’ve promised many times that it won’t happen again.
But working long nights and making promises don’t mean much when Alfie is ill or the nanny calls in sick again.
But this is my reality now.
I grit my teeth, push through, and give everything I have, even when it never feels like it’s enough, not for Alfie, not for work, and not for me.
My life would be easier if every divorce I negotiated was amicable, because that’s exactly what I need right now. Simplicity. Not two successful adults who can’t even agree on who gets custody of the dog, let alone their own children.
Cutting through the silence and the low static hum from the baby monitor, my cell phone chimes, alerting me to an email as it often does at this time of night.
I don’t mind answering emails outside of regular business hours.
It works to my advantage and means I don’t have a longer-than-necessary to-do list before I even have my first coffee in the morning.
“Let’s do this.” I get to work, open my laptop, then my emails and exhale a tired puff of air.
Even though I’m exhausted, I know that diving into work now will help me sleep better.
If I don’t go through my emails and get some reading done, my mind will race the moment my head hits the pillow, and I’ll just end up reopening my laptop in the middle of the night anyway.
Hours later, I’m pleasantly pleased with myself for zipping through my workload in record time. I’m almost finished when an email drops into my inbox from Max Hart.
I check the time: 11 p.m. What the hell does he want at this hour? Max might be a lot of things, but he’s respectful of my time and never sends unnecessary emails or makes demands late at night. I think that’s because he knows I won’t tolerate any crap from him, or anyone else for that matter.
I read the subject line, Alimony Terms Agreement – Tate Young/Stella Young, and hope Stella agreed to the proposal I know will support her for the rest of her life.
Clicking the email to open it, I scan my eyes down the screen and give myself a virtual high five. Stella Young agreed to everything.
Without hesitation, I hit reply and write back, my inner smugness doing a happy dance.
From: Paige Bradshaw – Moore & Associates
To: Max Hart, Esq. | Hart Law
Subject: Re: Confirmation Alimony Terms Agreement Acceptance – Tate Young/Stella Young
Mr. Hart,
Thank you for your rapid response. I’m pleased to hear that your client has accepted the proposed alimony terms. I will proceed with drafting the Marital Settlement Agreement and will forward you a draft after the Child Custody Agreement has been agreed upon, which we will discuss at the next settlement conference.
Regards,
Paige Bradshaw, Esq.
Moore & Associates
I hit send and rest my back against the chair. Now I need to sleep.
Just as I’m about to shut my emails down, another one arrives from Max.
From: Max Hart, Esq. | Hart Law
To: Paige Bradshaw – Moore & Associates
Subject: Re: Re: Alimony Terms Agreement – Tate Young/Stella Young
Ms. Bradshaw,
You shouldn’t be working at this time.
Max Hart, Esq. | Hart Law
Hart Law, A Professional Law Corporation
Confusion hits me, and my eyebrows furrow. I don’t know why I hit reply and engage with the insufferable prick, but I find myself typing before I can stop.
From: Paige Bradshaw – Moore & Associates
To: Max Hart, Esq. | Hart Law
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Confirmation Alimony Terms Agreement Acceptance – Tate Young/Stella Young
Why not?
Regards,
Paige Bradshaw, Esq.
Moore & Associates
Once I’ve pressed send, I regret it. Feeding the self-important jackass will awaken the bitch inside me, and it’s too late for this bullshit. I have an early start tomorrow, and I like to get up an hour before Alfie. I drum my fingers on the dining table, waiting impatiently for him to reply.
After five minutes, nothing arrives.
The prick is keeping me waiting. Until, ping, here we go…
From: Max Hart, Esq. | Hart Law
To: Paige Bradshaw – Moore & Associates
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Alimony Terms Agreement – Tate Young/Stella Young
Because you go to bed too late, and it’s clearly the reason you’ve been late for every meeting and court date for the last six months. You’re beginning to get a reputation for yourself.
However, if you go to bed now, you might make it in time for your meetings tomorrow.
Get to bed.
Max Hart, Esq. | Hart Law
Hart Law, A Professional Law Corporation
My pulse races as if it has a life of its own. No one tells me what to do. He’s really riled me up. My fingers quickly hit reply and tap against the keyboard as I furiously type out a new email and hit send before I overthink it.
From: Paige Bradshaw – Moore & Associates
To: Max Hart, Esq. | Hart Law
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Confirmation Alimony Terms Agreement Acceptance – Tate Young/Stella Young
You know for someone who is supposed to be a well-connected insider, I’m surprised you don’t know what has made me late for the last six months.
I guess the secretaries don’t tell you everything.
Regards,
Paige Bradshaw, Esq.
Moore & Associates
If only he knew I’ve been struggling to juggle this new life that has been thrust upon me. Having a six-month-old left on my doorstep was not something I was expecting.
But that’s where I am.
I’m trying to do everything in my power to make it work. However, it looks like I’m not. Even Max Hart has noticed how tardy I have been lately. This is terrible.
I need to try harder, but that feels impossible when I am already stressed to the limit. I’ve reached my maximum level of coping.
My eyes survey the still messy kitchen and the laundry pile higher than the laundry washer, and I groan at the chaos of my life.
Tomorrow I’m hiring a housekeeper.
As well as finding a new secretary. I had to let go of the temporary one I had today after she failed to inform Max that I was running late. It was the last mistake in a long list of errors she made.
From: Max Hart, Esq. | Hart Law
To: Paige Bradshaw – Moore & Associates
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Alimony Terms Agreement – Tate Young/Stella Young
What is that supposed to mean?
Max Hart, Esq. | Hart Law
Hart Law, A Professional Law Corporation
Faster than a bolt of lightning, I respond.
From: Paige Bradshaw – Moore & Associates
To: Max Hart, Esq. | Hart Law
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Confirmation Alimony Terms Agreement Acceptance – Tate Young/Stella Young
It means, if you don’t already know, then mind your own goddamn business.
Goodnight, Max.
Regards,
Paige Bradshaw, Esq.
Moore & Associates
I close the lid of my laptop with a thud, cutting off this annoying conversation that’s getting too personal. At least now I have the confirmation I needed that all the secretaries I hired in the past haven’t revealed the most private part of my life: Alfie.
Let’s hope it stays that way.
Except for the partners at work and my very close friends who know, he’s been my little secret for so long, and I’ve treasured every moment we’ve shared in our quiet little bubble.
The reason I never told anyone about Alfie is because, when my sister left him on my doorstep with nothing but a note tucked into his blanket, no bottle or change of clothes, I truly thought it was a joke. Only, the punchline never arrived.