Chapter 34
PAIGE
I’m clearly still delirious.
I asked him to join me in the shower. Naked. Together. In my house for the first time.
I’m still unwell; there’s no other explanation. I should be telling him to pack up his things and go home from fear of getting caught by anyone from my work. Not that anyone from work has ever shown up at my house before but you just never know.
Because this is wrong, and at this point, there is no rule book; we’re making up our own rules.
If you don’t discuss the Young case, you’re in the clear, Paige.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that. You’re both coloring outside the lines and you know it.
There’s doubt there in his eyes as he considers his options, but he surprises me when he grabs the back of his T-shirt and pulls it up and over his head, removing it from his body.
As if he’s carved from the finest Italian marble, he’s not just sculpted; he’s criminally hot. It’s as if someone designed him to be illegal in every state. And no matter how many times I’ve seen him naked, it still feels like I’m seeing him for the first time all over again.
He then removes his joggers, taking his boxers with them, and locks eyes with me as if they are glued to mine, challenging me to go next.
For a brief moment, I drop my gaze to his semi-hard cock, and I let out an involuntary “Oh” that has him chuckling.
“I’m a man and you’re beautiful. My dick gets hard when I’m around you. Ignore it, because there’s no guarantee it won’t get any bigger or will go away.”
I’m hoping that it doesn’t go away. However, we can’t go there. To do the sex stuff. I’m too exhausted. But still, his dick is always nice to look at. And I like knowing I make him hard. And he called me beautiful again. I really seem to have a thing for that.
Maybe this is a dream. And if it is, someone better shake me awake because I’m about to get in the shower with the devil in a suit I spent entire days fantasizing about destroying in court. That was until the day everything changed when he booked the presidential suite.
We’ve been reckless and dangerous with our decisions.
But here we are, standing on the edge of the fire, ready to burn yet again.
It’s not until Max says, “Your turn,” that I realize I’m ogling him, perving over Max freaking Hart.
The man I have loved to hate for as long as I can remember.
The same man whose dick I’ve spent hours sucking, begging him to make me come.
He’s also the same man I’ve spent hours arguing with in and out of court.
Come to think of it, foreplay would be a better name for it.
It was the prequel to the best sex of my life.
“I already know what’s under that T-shirt, Paige. I’ve seen you dozens of times.”
“Did you undress me?”
“No, you did that yourself.”
“Right.”
“While I was in the bedroom with you, and your mom.”
“God give me strength.” I cover my face with my hands, feeling embarrassed with how out of it I was.
“You’re beautiful, Paige. Every fucking inch of you is beautiful, and that heart of yours is what I like about you the most.”
Well, when he says things like that, it really makes me want to tear my clothes off for him.
Wrapping my fingers around the hem of my Yale T-shirt I’ve had since law school, I pull it all the way up to my waist before lifting it over my head, exposing every part of me.
And all under the roof of my house. We’ve more than crossed the lines now. This is personal.
“See, that wasn’t so difficult now, was it?
” His hungry eyes drop down my body before moving up again to meet my gaze.
“Now brush your teeth, and I’ll meet you in there.
I’ll help you wash your hair.” He strides toward me, grinning as he passes and gently pats my ass.
A slap would be too much in my fragile state, and I appreciate how considerate he’s being.
I’ve never had anyone wash my hair before. This is new. Different. Nice even.
Like the good little bunny I am, because for some reason, I can’t seem to say no to him, I brush my teeth and feel instantly better.
Tentatively, I join him under the rainfall shower that flows from the ceiling, letting the water cascade down my body and wash away the past few days.
I allow the warm water to soak into my skin, easing my stiff shoulders and achy back muscles from retching.
I haven’t thrown up for several hours, and I’m praying I won’t again.
I don’t think my body could take any more.
Under the water, Max turns to face me. His eyes flick between mine, quiet and searching, as if he’s trying to read what I’m not saying. Then he reaches up, fingers threading through my soaked hair, gently brushing it back from my face with a tenderness that takes my breath away.
He kisses my forehead softly. It’s sweet, unexpected, and wrong; we shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t be here, in my house.
“I withdrew from the case,” he says as if reading my mind.
“What case?” I ask, searching his face for an answer, already knowing it. Surely not.
“Young versus Young.”
“You did what? You can’t do that.” I won’t let him.
“I already filed the motion this afternoon. My associate’s taking over. She’s sharp, she’ll catch up fast. And Stella agreed. She’s satisfied.”
“Why? We’re practically at the end.”
“You know why, Paige.”
And there goes that silence again that happens between us more often than I would like, only this time it’s longer than usual and makes my heart gallop in my chest like a racehorse.
I throw him a shy smile because I know what he means.
Then he confirms it with confidence. “We can’t keep pretending the tension between us isn’t there.
We can’t deny what happened in The Velvet Rooms or our secret rendezvous.
If anyone saw us together in a conference room, it wouldn’t take a genius to realize there’s something between us. ” He presses his forehead against mine.
It’s such an intimate gesture, he’s unraveling me piece by piece. I hate that he’s right, and I will never look at him in the same way again, but what’s the rush?
“You should have waited until the divorce is finalized and the case is closed.”
“I can’t wait that long.”
It’s only a few weeks. Although the courthouse clerk misplaced the court papers, and we might be months away from settling the Youngs’ divorce, rather than weeks as we had hoped.
Closing the small distance between us, he wraps me in his arms and whispers in my ear, “I don’t trust myself around you.
I can’t fucking stay away. I don’t want to, and I know that if you didn’t want me here either, you would have kicked me out of your house whether you were sick or not, and you know it. ”
“You sort of invited yourself into my life.” I still can’t believe he’s here.
He nuzzles into my neck. “You gave me the code to get in.”
Of course I did; it took me several attempts to remember it in my fevered state.
His fingers thread into the hair at the back of my neck before he says, “Tiptoeing behind backs, dancing around, and pretending that I don’t want you is out of the question. I don’t want anything preventing us from exploring whatever this is. Withdrawing from the case was the right thing to do.”
He’s insane.
My usual sharp mind struggles to keep up with his next confession. “I’m doing the only thing that feels right, so we don’t fuck up our careers and get ourselves suspended, or worse, disbarred.”
That’s a bit extreme, as it would be dealt with in-house in the first instance, but I understand his concerns. They’re the same as mine.
Max adds, “This is the only choice that feels right. If we keep going like this, we’re risking everything.
Our careers, our names, everything we’ve worked for.
I can’t live with that, and I can’t keep lying to my brothers either.
But what matters even more is you. I won’t let anyone drag your name through the mud or question your integrity because of me.
You’ve built something incredible, and you’re the sharpest, fiercest divorce lawyer I’ve ever known.
Hell, half the time I’m in awe of you. I’d hate myself if this cost you even a shred of the respect you deserve.
I want you. I want us. Me, you, and Alfie. ”
There’s so much promise behind his words that it also scares me shitless.
We have no idea what this is, and he’s already making plans to be with me, by the sounds of it—plans I haven’t agreed to.
To be a family. He’s so bossy, masculine, and…
I might just like him making decisions for me.
Lately, I’ve been making life-changing choices that impact not only my life but Alfie’s, and I know adopting him is the right thing to do.
My mom always taught me to trust my gut, and that’s what I’m doing.
“I’m the guy who follows the rules.” I know he is.
“And yeah, what we’ve been doing feels incredible, Paige, but it was still wrong of me to push you into secret dates.
The truth is, you had me wanting more. I wanted to see how far you’d go, what you’d say, if you’d admit that you liked me.
” He continues. “I know you’re just too damn stubborn to tell me.
And maybe that makes me a greedy bastard for needing to hear you say it, even if it was by having phone sex with me to confirm what I suspected initially. ”
It’s true what they say: actions do speak louder than words. He heard everything I didn’t say that night.
“I’ve already told my brothers I’m at your place. Eli dropped off a bag with my clothes. And they know I dropped the case we’re on opposite sides of.”
“You told your brothers about us?” I pull away from our closeness, my mouth open in shock.
“Yes and no. I just told them I was here and not to ask any questions. They got the message.”
That means they know. They aren’t stupid. “Please tell me you didn’t tell them about The Velvet Rooms?” Mild panic rises in my throat, which is sore from vomiting repeatedly.