Chapter 21
Cole
There were quite a few correct answers to my guessing game.
Cassie could’ve said I was thinking about kissing her. Correct.
She could’ve said I was thinking about how incredibly perfect she’d look tight around my cock. Correct.
She could’ve said that I was thinking about how I want to be around her all the time, even if I don’t even get to touch her.
Correct.
I cross the party, ignoring Miller’s scream of “Shots!” as I go past, and head for the doors to Landon’s yard. I want to check on Cassie because she ran off so fast. Check she’s not upset.
I’m not exactly the most sociable guy, but I understand social etiquette. That includes respecting when a woman asks you to give her space.
So I’ll check on her, and if she asks me to go, I’ll go.
I’ll go home and stroke my cock thinking about her until I come, probably wishing I was coming inside her instead. Then I’ll try to look her in the eyes tomorrow and act like I never did that, like I can’t get off in two minutes flat just thinking about how she might feel.
It’s fucking pathetic.
But maybe I am pathetic. Maybe that’s what she makes me into. How can I resist a woman so sweet and sharp? So ambitious and good-hearted? Especially when her body looks so fucking delicious in that dress tonight.
If she tells me to stay, I might not be able to hold back.
I want to push the line. Everything in her eyes tells me she wants to test that limit too. I know as well as she does that we shouldn’t cross the line. We should keep it professional.
I push open the doors, and the frigid air hits me. Landon’s yard is big and beautifully maintained, with string lights up over the patio, but it’s abandoned in the winter cold.
Except for Cassie. She’s leaning against the wall, her eyes closed in concentration. My gaze trails over her for a greedy moment, enjoying getting to eat up how stunning she is without her seeing. Her legs look so good in those heels, and that dress is still driving me crazy.
Eventually, I speak. “Why’d you run away from me, Cassie?”
She blinks and looks up, surprised, before she smoothly recovers. “Run away is a strong term for it. I walked, for a start.”
That pulls a smirk from me. “Okay, 007. Got to get the facts correct when you’re talking to an agent, huh?” My eyes drop to her bare shoulders. Both of us left our coats inside. “Shit, sunshine. You must be freezing.”
Without thinking, I place my hands around hers to warm them up. Her fingers are delicate and cold in my grip. Her eyes widen in surprise, but she lets me press my hands into hers, gently massaging heat back into her skin.
“Thank you. It’s—it’s okay, I was too hot inside. I just needed some air.” She pauses, inhales frosty night air like she’s desperate for oxygen. “And I felt like I was maybe about to do something stupid.”
Slowly, I release her hands from mine, and they fall to her sides.
I can’t touch her during this conversation, or I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.
The music from the party is still audible but muffled through the glass doors.
It fills the heavy silence between us for a few seconds.
The rhythmic thumping of the bass. Some song Miller chose that I’m not young enough to know.
“The patio,” I say.
“What about it?”
“You told me where I could find you. Did you want me to come find you, Cassie?” I lean in closer, catching how she doesn’t flinch back from me even an inch. “Do you want to do something stupid?”
She shifts against the wall. “Depends if we’re thinking about the same stupid thing.”
Fuck it. Here goes nothing. “I can break that championship drought of yours. Just so you can say you’ve had one New Year’s Eve kiss. No meaning and no strings.”
“Now that would be stupid.” Her eyelashes flutter as her gaze grows heavy-lidded, but she doesn’t move away. “We work together. Both our careers are relying on us keeping this professional.”
It brings me a really dumb amount of pleasure that it sounds like she’s trying to convince herself.
I shrug. “Yeah, well. Haven’t you ever done something stupid before?”
“Not really,” she replies. I almost laugh at her comment, but she continues.
“It’s true. I’ve been so laser-focused on doing everything right so I can achieve my goals.
I’ve neglected my dating life. I’ve been so careful at work not to make one misstep because I know I don’t have the connections or boy’s club access to give me security.
So, no. I’ve never done anything particularly stupid.
But sometimes I daydream about what it would be like.
How it would feel to be reckless and free for once. ”
I raise my hand, pushing a loose strand of her glossy brown hair back over her ear. I want to drop my hand to her jaw and go further, but I don’t let myself. Not yet. Not until she tells me she wants this. But I keep my hand resting gently against her temple.
“Is that a yes, Cassie?”
She hesitates. “I don’t want a pity kiss from the man I’m babysitting.”
“Pity kiss?” I exhale, a rumble of half-laughter from my chest. “Have you ever looked in the mirror? One midnight kiss on New Year’s doesn’t mean anything.
But there would be no pity involved. I’m not in the business of kissing women who don’t want to be kissed, though.
So if you want it, you have about…” I glance down at the Rolex on my wrist. “Two minutes left to decide.”
I genuinely care about us being on the same page—any enjoyment I get is instantly killed if a woman isn’t equally into something as I am.
But also… I can admit the idea of hearing from her lips that she wants me to kiss her is hot as fuck. So hot that I know it would be stuck on replay in my head for weeks.
Even though she’ll never let me do anything more than that, will never want me with the burning urgency that I feel right now. Making me want to say ‘fuck it’ and forget all the rules between us.
“You’re trouble,” she breathes up at me.
“Don’t say that like you’re just realizing it. You knew it from the start, sunshine. That’s why you’re here. One minute left to decide.”
“Meaningless,” she repeats, and there’s something hot and breathy about her voice. “Platonic. Just this once.”
“Right. Just to end the drought.” I say it like I mean it. I don’t mean it even a little.
Her eyes lower to my lips, then meet my stare. “Let’s do something stupid.”
The sound of my teammates and their friends chanting inside hits my ears.
Ten! Nine! Eight!
It’s not as much build-up time as I’d like.
Although ideally, I wouldn’t have any time limit with Cassie.
Still, I’d like to make it a kiss she’ll never forget.
I’d like to cradle her face in my hands, tease my thumb against her lips, start gentle and make her desperate for it by the time I finally kiss her.
Three! Two! One!
I take her face in my hands and kiss her with no fucking pretenses about how badly I want it.
I just press my lips against hers. It’s a little rough, almost, and for a second I’m worried it’s too much for her.
Until she lets out this adorable fucking whimper against my lips and practically melts against my body.
Her hands gently fist in my shirt, and her lips part a little wider.
I slide my tongue against hers. Let her feel the graze of my teeth, nipping against her plump bottom lip.
Her lips are unbelievably soft, and there’s a faint taste of sugar on her mouth that makes me want to kiss her all the deeper.
I know it’s probably from the cocktail she drank earlier, but fuck if I don’t half-believe she just naturally tastes that sweet.
I kiss her like it’s going to be the only time I get to do it.
Because I’m pretty sure it is.
The thought of that kills me, so I push it from my mind.
I just savor her, even though it’s pure fucking torture not being able to move my hands from her face to run them down her body. I already promised myself in my head I wouldn’t do that, because it’s more than we agreed to.
But she’s making it hard—she softly moans into my mouth, and her hips give a little jolting buck against me. Like she’s longing for friction, and fuck if that doesn’t just go straight to my cock.
I push my hands up into her hair, pressing her back against the wall.
I don’t drink anymore, but I’ve suddenly discovered something that gets me drunker than any liquor.
I’m cursing myself for silently agreeing not to let myself press myself up against her, give her a tease of my cock.
Because I’m so hard for her, just from this kiss, like a goddamn teenager.
But I guess Cassie didn’t make herself the same promise.
Because when I lean forward to ease her back against the wall, she arches into me and her hips meet mine, and she presses up against me.
Against my achingly hard cock. It’s fucking blissful, and I grip her soft jaw tighter just to stop my hands drifting to pull her tighter against me and grind against her.
Goddamn it, I’m pretty sure I could come in my pants from this if she gives it another few minutes.
Happy New Year!
The sound of people cheering in celebration drifts from inside, reminding me I don’t have a few minutes.
I want to push the limits of this whole arrangement between us.
But this was just supposed to be one kiss.
That’s all she agreed to. So by some miracle I manage to ease myself back and break the kiss.
Fuck. I hate having principles.
We’re both breathing hard. I force a smile, even though I feel more like using my mouth to bite her lip. Or push my tongue back into her mouth. Or maybe just push open her thighs and lick her until she’s sobbing.
She blinks, her eyes heavy-lidded. Her face is flushed from the mix of the cold around us and the heat between us. It’s absurdly pretty.
“Happy New Year,” she whispers.
I swallow. “Happy New Year, sunshine. Happy end to your no-kiss on New Year’s record.”
“I’m glad I can check that off the list of life experiences.” She exhales, shaky, and I force myself to step back to give her space. “So… tomorrow, we forget about this, right?”
I knew she’d taste delicious. Knew she’d be sweet and addictive. But this is primal. Something completely beyond everything rational in my brain. I want to take her home. Every part of my mind, body, and soul wants to take her home.
Instead, I nod. Even though it kind of kills me. “January 1st. Might be an arbitrary day. But according to society, it means a clean slate.”