Chapter 17 - The Vigilante #2
“It’s the oven time, it’s a bitch to nail it down so that the skin won't crack during the shrinking process.”
“You may want to try oiling it a little better, to help it from drying out,” she smiled slyly, “or so I heard.” The more comfortable she became around me, the more she contradicted the quiet and reserved nature Jessica had noted on her chart after her first group therapy session.
I could tell in the few sessions we’d had so far that she held things close to her chest, secrets and a darkness that she wasn’t willing to share with just anyone.
Once she was in a group setting, her mask would slip into place almost perfectly.
Raelynn wasn’t a fake person; she simply housed two personalities in one body.
Two sides of the same coin, both just as fascinating to interact with.
I wondered if she craved to let go of the control she held over herself.
If she were willing to be dominated by someone who wouldn’t just take care of her in private, but protect her in every situation and teach her how to do it herself.
The thought of dominating her, of her trusting me to hold that kind of power over her, made my cock harden against my zipper.
I should have felt bad, imagining her on her knees before me; she was my patient after all, but the guilt never came.
“Have you been able to make any progress with my journals?” She asked, taking another bite of her food.
“I think I’ve made it through about half of your high school years.
I hadn’t expected them to be as detailed as they are.
You have quite the flair for writing dramatic fictional pieces too.
More morbid than I ever would have guessed from someone who doesn’t have a background in committing homicide. ”
Rae glanced at me, trying to decide how much of herself she wanted to reveal with her response. Her deep blue eyes were searching mine for a hidden meaning or possibly a backhanded compliment, her insecurities were well hidden beneath the surface only I was starting to be able to pick up on them.
“I could never get revenge in the real world, the best way I ever knew how to was to write about it.”
“Your stories about murdering your bullies are extremely well written and creative. The amount of thought and detail you’ve put into purely fictional scenarios is impressive. If I didn’t know any better, I would have guessed you wrote from experience instead of strictly fiction.”
Her eyes darkened at my statement, remaining focused on her food that she now pushed around her plate. Was she drifting to that place she hid in so well? One littered with the corpses of everyone who ever wronged her?
“Have you ever wanted to get revenge?” I pressed, wanting to obtain a better grasp on how dark she could be when she wasn’t in a make-believe world. Her imagination was one thing; seeing if her inner beast ever floated to the surface was another entity entirely.
She didn’t look at me for a moment, her fork pausing from pushing her food around on her plate, her appetite seeming to have vanished.
I wondered if she had ever voiced her deepest desires, if she had ever trusted anyone that much to see that side of her.
The abyss that lurked beneath her sarcastic sunshine exterior, which I so badly craved to see, I wanted to know more.
Helping her overcome this obstacle was my main goal, but the more I watched her, the more I read, the more I found myself drawn to wanting to know her on a deeper level.
“It doesn’t matter what I want. Bad people exist in the world. As much as I believe they should suffer from the pain they inflict on people, I would never be able to act upon my desire to be the one to make them pay that price for repentance.”
“It does matter what you want. You didn’t answer my question, Rae.
” I knew I was being pushy, but I didn’t care.
I needed to know what she was capable of, if I could help her truly process what she had been through in a way I’d never helped anyone before.
She’d learn to truly love herself, every dark and twisted piece.
“Yes,” she whispered on a shallow exhale, her chest caving in as if she was trying to make herself as small as possible in case anyone other than me overheard her admission. “Yes, sometimes I find myself thinking about what it would be like to actually act out those fantasies.”
My smile was catlike as I observed her and her fears of what she was saying. She needed someone she could trust to nurture her demons, feeding them to watch them grow and thrive. They didn’t need to hide, not from me.
“You deserve to have everything your heart desires, no matter how dark and depraved,” I whispered back, even though she wouldn’t look up from her plate yet.
“You’re not the only one here with macabre thoughts, Raelynn,” at my admission, she glanced up her dark eyes, piercing mine, searching for a lie that she wouldn’t find.
I would never lie to her. I would push her with my own immoral inner demons, letting them mingle together once she saw me for who I really was.
I would never be able to find it in myself to lie to her and break her trust; it was too valuable after so many had mishandled it before.
For this woman, whom I had an unhealthy fascination with, I’d risk it all.
“As my therapist, shouldn't you be encouraging healthier ways of coping with trauma instead of murder?” She quipped, finally taking a bite of her food. A tension I didn’t realize I was holding released from my chest when she started eating again.
The thought of her going without food was enough to coil my need for control into a tight ball.
I’d force her to take care of herself if I needed to.
“As your therapist, it’s my job to make sure all aspects of your well-being are taken care of, the good, the bad, and everything in between.
I want to see every side of you thrive under my guidance.
” The protective need I felt toward her was a foreign feeling to me.
It wasn’t as if I hadn’t had relationships before, or participated in the occasional one-night stand.
I had never shown a woman any disrespect; every hookup was consensual with a mutual understanding that it was nothing more, not a single one of them had managed to infiltrate my mind like Raelynn had.
There was something about her that drew me in like a fly to a spider's web.
“And you think you’re up for that challenge?” She questioned, piercing me with a stare that was impossible for me not to see as a challenge.
“A challenge is what makes it fun, and breaking you out of that shell, exposing the real you underneath, will be the most fun I’ve had in a long time.
” I let my knee brush against hers under the table, a gentle pressure that I hoped she understood as my way of accepting the challenge.
By her sharp intake of breath the moment I made contact, I knew I was going to be able to break her open in no time, my cock started to harden at the thought of releasing her from her shell and seeing if she was just as depraved as I was.
If she’d trust me to control her in a way I never thought was possible before.
I had to push my thoughts back, imagining all the things I would do to her once she was at my mercy wouldn’t help my current situation.
Before I could bait her anymore into revealing anything personal, her group started to rise from their tables to line up. She hadn’t noticed anyone get up yet, with her back facing the rest of the room, until I nodded my head in their direction.
“Looks like it’s time for you to head back, I’ll see you tomorrow, Raelynn.”
Slowly she got up, gathering everything and placing it on her tray so the nurse could count everything before they left for their wing.
My self-control waned as I watched her walk away to join her group.
I couldn’t help but start to appreciate more than just her mind in that moment as her ample hips swayed with each step, her ass so firm in the skin-tight leggings that I had to force myself to close my eyes before anyone noticed I was watching her.
Against my better judgment, because I knew on every level that this was wrong, I decided I wasn’t just going to break her shell open.
I was going to break her to the point she wouldn’t have any other choice but to rebuild herself in a way that wouldn’t be vulnerable to any force other than my own.
Raelynn was about to get reacquainted with herself, and I was more than happy to be the one to do it.