Chapter 11 #2
“Message me on your way back, and I’ll let you in. Myra and Roy are here to help too. If you need to go out the gate to fool them, we’ll get you back in. Just call.”
I still can’t believe Roy and Myra are secretly in a relationship––a secret I’m only recently discovering.
“I will.” I open the door and slip into the midnight air, suddenly questioning my outfit of choice with the cool breeze.
But it’s too late now. The door clicks shut behind me. There’s no going back.
The thin material of this dress is doing very little to soften the chill in the air, nipping at my skin. But I’ve never worn this dress, and I’ll retire it after tonight so as to not risk the boys spotting it.
The sky is dark, only a few shining spots. If it wasn’t for the lights of the estate and the town, I’d be able to see more twinkling stars up above.
I slip my phone into the side of my bra, stowing it somewhere safe for now. I should have brought a purse, but I didn’t want to bring anything they may recognize later.
It takes me a minute to work my way through the hedges to the gazebo, where I know the guys will be waiting. Myra made sure they were safely outside before Jules and I started our move.
If this wasn’t such an emotionally charged situation, I would feel like a cool super spy, stealthily moving around the grounds.
Asher’s and Dean’s voices come into earshot as I turn the corner and step into the massive opening that houses the gazebo.
Tiptoeing, I follow the brick path leading to the entrance on the other side, my heart pounding so hard in my chest that I worry it’ll break through my rib cage completely.
Apparently, I’m not quiet enough because both boys rush out of the arched opening not a second later, and I stop dead in my tracks, a few feet from the entrance.
“You’re here,” Asher blurts out, his voice soft and airy.
At the same time, Dean whispers, “You came.”
They look good—too good. Too tempting and inviting. I know I could launch myself right now, and they would catch me with ease, not letting me touch the ground or ever run from them again.
Dean’s messy hair is falling in his eyes, and my fingers twitch to run through the brown locks. He’s wearing black joggers and a black Legends sweatshirt, his gold chain peeking out enough to drive me crazy.
Asher’s hair is pushed back, his eyes vibrant and entrancing. Just like his tattoos exposed from beneath his gray Legends shirt.
The bottom is hitched up on his side, exposing the sharp, defined V-line, which is really starting to make me second-guess my decision of coming here.
I stay still, not wanting to get too close to them because that’s only going to make this that much more painful. Even if I’m not ready to admit just how much that night meant to me, my body and heart can feel it.
Without saying a word, I gesture inside with my hand, palm up. They instantly move, making me feel all too powerful as they lead the way.
They stop only a few feet inside, turning back to face me as I breach the threshold into our safe, secret place.
My heart melts to the floor when I see the vulnerability in their gazes, especially knowing what’s coming next and what I’m about to do.
“Why did you run?” Dean breaks the silence, his voice slightly shaky. “That night, you took off without a word.”
“I-I …” And suddenly, every single word fails me. I’ve run this moment through my mind so many times tonight, leading up to this, but I can’t form the words, let alone speak them. “I-I’m sorry.”
“Is it because of who we are? You kind of freaked out after that,” Asher admits, and Dean smacks his arm. “Sorry … you were caught off guard.” He rewords it nicely.
A smile twitches on my lips regardless of the discomfort coursing through me. It’s hard not to smile around them.
I’m not sure how honest I should be. If I tell them the truth—that I can’t be with them because of my stepmother or external circumstances—they won’t quit.
They’re stubborn, I’ve come to learn, and if I give them a crumb of a reason to fight, they will. I know it.
Which is why I’m going to lie.
“That night was great,” I start off, feeling the emotion heavily in my chest, bubbling up my throat. I avoid their gazes, looking between them and around the space. “It was everything I hadn’t known I was missing. You both are so goddamn incredible …”
“But,” Dean whispers.
“But …” I force the words out, each one harder than the last. “I don’t want anything else to happen again.”
Asher’s eyebrows furrow, and he studies me intently, his expression unwavering and stern. And then it softens completely, melting me to my core.
It’s written on his face—he doesn’t believe a single word I just said.
When he strides forward, I expect him to storm out of the gazebo and never look back, tired of dealing with a girl who won’t even tell him the truth.
But he doesn’t leave.
Instead, he walks past me before spinning around, planting himself straight behind me and blocking me in.
I take a deep breath and feel his chest and abs at my back, his fingertips finding the soft underside of my wrists.
His warm breath hits my ear, and my eyes drift shut.
A shiver snakes down my spine as he whispers, “You don’t feel anything for us, Princess? Really?”
Dean’s warmth greets my front, and my eyes fly open, immediately finding his hooded stare and smirk.
“You look like you’re feeling an awful lot right now, and we haven’t even touched you … yet.”
Being sandwiched between them is overwhelming. I can’t think clearly. I might not be able to think at all.
Dean’s long fingers slide under my chin, tilting my head up. With his proximity and his height, I have to crane my neck way back.
“Stop lying to yourself and to us. You don’t feel anything at all?”
“Not even when I do this?” Asher murmurs, his lips pressing against the shell of my ear.
That’s the only warning I have before his fingers dig into my hip and his tongue runs up the length of my neck, both hands now gripping my waist tightly.
A breathy whimper betrays me as my eyes flutter shut from the sensation. My sound is enough to pull me from my stupor. “I-I can’t.”
Mustering up every fiber of strength I have left, I slide out from between them and walk away from them, positioning myself against the far wall, opposite the exit.
Okay, so this was maybe a terrible plan since I’ll have to go through them to leave. But it doesn’t matter. I know the second I tell them to move aside, they absolutely will.
“Did we go too far?” Asher asks timidly, his eyes wide with worry.
“No, no. I wanted it. Don’t feel bad,” I assure him, confusing myself even more.
But it’s true. I want everything with them, everything I’ve never given anyone before. Which is absolutely terrifying.
“This is just all complicated,” I sigh, wrapping my hands around my waist for comfort. “I like you guys. I do, okay? I can’t lie about that or try to fool you. Clearly, that’s not working. But this”—I gesture between us—“can’t be anything. Not secret friends—”
“Please don’t ever use that word about us again,” Dean cuts me off, the gruffness in his voice catching me by surprise.
I continue, “Okay. Regardless, nothing can happen after tonight. This has to end here.”
“Why?” Dean pushes me, taking a step closer, and Asher follows.
They’re staring at me like nothing else in the world exists.
“I can’t tell you.”
“I don’t like that answer,” Asher challenges, his tongue wetting his bottom lip.
“I don’t like you,” I snap back.
They both smirk, glancing at each other and then back to me.
“Don’t lie to us. Come on.” Dean shakes his head softly. “Answer me this.”
“What?” My voice is barely audible.
They take another step forward, only a few feet remaining between us, my restraint waning more by each passing second.
Dean clears his throat. “Do you have any feelings for us?”
My chest deflates. “That’s not fair.”
“It’s an easy question,” Asher counters. “Tell us that you feel nothing for us.”
Another step. They’re closing in, and I’m suddenly regretting walking into this cage.
If they wanted, they could reach out and touch me. I’m within their grasp, which is only making this ten times harder, knowing how good their hands feel on me.
“Tell us your heart isn’t beating out of your chest right now. That you haven’t thought about us once since our night together,” Asher challenges me. “Tell us why you came to meet in person when you could’ve left a note and avoided seeing us altogether.”
Another step.
Dean’s fingers graze my left arm, and I inhale sharply.
Go away. Go away. Just leave me alone.
Asher reaches forward, tucking my hair back behind my ears. “Look us in the eyes and tell us that you want nothing to do with us. And we’ll leave.”
Dean’s thumb strokes my wrist, his fingers branding their way up my arm.
Why can’t they just focus on a different girl?
The mere thought guts me because the truth is … I’ve never felt anything like this before.
I’ve never connected with someone like I have with them. I don’t know if it was fate or luck that I ran into their conversation by the fountain, but I know it was the best night of my entire life.
I don’t feel like Cirella Matthews when I’m with them or like Cirella Chamberlain, whoever that even is. I’m just me. How can I push that away?
I don’t want to.
“I-I want …” My heart’s in my throat, making it hard to breathe and even harder to speak. I want … so much, so much that I can’t have.
Jules’s words echo in my mind, reminding me that, sometimes, I have to be selfish, reckless, and stupid.
I don’t know if this is one of those times, but I know there’s not a single other place in the world I would rather be than with Dean and Asher right now.
My body is acting of its own accord, making its move before my mind can process it or the consequences to come.
My lips collide with Asher’s, feral and crazed, my right hand cupping his face and my left bunching the front of Dean’s hoodie.
Asher groans into my mouth, his tongue quickly finding mine and parting my lips. A hand threads into my hair, gently pulling me from Asher’s kiss and into Dean’s.
My arms fall around Dean’s neck as Asher slides behind me once again, his hands snaking around my waist.
“I knew it,” Asher whispers against the hypersensitive skin right below my ear, his tongue darting out and swiping.
My back arches in response, my ass brushing ever so slightly across his growing erection in his pants. My core pools with need, and I push back into him once more. I don’t know who I am right now. I don’t know what’s right and wrong. All I know is that I don’t want to stop.
“Careful, Princess. I might just take you right here,” he growls in my ear, and my body hums in response.
My mouth parts at his words, and Dean leans forward, slipping his tongue in my mouth and kissing me deeply. With Asher at my back and Dean’s tongue intertwining with mine, I think I might genuinely combust on the spot.
Asher’s mouth finds the crook of my neck, eliciting all new kinds of breathy moans from me that are trapped between Dean’s kisses.
“I missed you so fucking much,” Asher whimpers, his hands bunching my dress up my thighs until I’m nearly exposed.
God, I want them so badly; I can’t take it.
“Ahh!” I shriek as I’m hauled up into the air with Dean’s hands around my hips and my legs around his waist.
Dean kisses me harder, stifling my shout.
My hands thread through his hair. He balances my weight with a strong arm across my back, and his other hand slides around the nape of my neck, fisting my hair and pulling my head back.
His warm kisses trail down my chin, and his lips latch on to my throat. His tongue strikes me like a hot iron, the flames lapping at my core.
Asher places a gentle kiss between my shoulder blades. And another a couple of inches lower. He works his way down my spine and over the curve of my ass.
“You tell me to stop, and I’ll stop,” he says, his voice rough and ragged but firm.
“Don’t stop.” It takes me a second to recognize that the voice came from me.
This is so wrong.
I shouldn’t be here. I certainly shouldn’t let Asher lift my dress above my hips, exposing my ass.
He definitely shouldn’t be placing tender kisses along the band of my cheeky lace panties.
“Let me taste you,” he groans against my skin, his big hands palming and spreading my cheeks. “Please, baby.”
No, no, no.
Agreeing to him would, in fact, be the worst idea I’ve ever had.
Nope.
I’m saying no, and that’s that.
But … I can’t.
Nodding, I whisper, “Yes.”
Asher wastes no time, burying his face between my cheeks. I yip as his tongue finds my center over the lace, running up the length of my crack.
Righting himself, he lightly smacks my ass, palming it firmly. “Mmm.”
“That’s our good girl,” Dean murmurs between my lips before claiming them tenderly. “Come here.”