Chapter Five
––––––––
PETER TOOK A STEP BACK to look at the wall. He cocked his head, wondering if they’d chosen the right color. “Do you like it?” he asked Braden.
There was a drop of paint on the tip of Braden’s nose, and Peter had to resist the urge to reach for him.
He had no idea where the two of them stood.
He’d told Braden they were mates, and Braden had accepted it with a smile before holding him while he slept.
They hadn’t talked about it again, though, and Peter knew it was mostly his fault.
Braden was letting him lead, but he had no idea where he was leading them.
He had no idea what he was ready for or what he wanted.
Well, that wasn’t true. He knew exactly what he wanted. He just wasn’t sure he could have it, not yet, not when he was still terrified.
So, he and Braden had focused on renovating the house, almost as if they were going to stay indefinitely.
It wasn’t like Peter had another home or an apartment to return to.
This was his home, and painting the walls was a small but sure way to make it feel more like his.
Fully unpacking his stuff would help, too, but that felt like a step too far.
It still didn’t feel completely real, especially with Braden still here.
Braden was still here because Lou was still out there.
Of course, Lou would always be out there, but he was still coming after Peter.
Peter had been right when he’d said that Lou seeing him with Braden would make things worse.
He didn’t have his phone anymore, but from what Braden had told him, Lou hadn’t been shy with what he thought of Peter in his texts.
Peter didn’t want to read them. He didn’t want anything to do with Lou, not again, not ever.
He wished Lou really would disappear from the surface of the earth, but unfortunately for him, that wasn’t how things worked.
At least being sat on by a phoenix shifter had scared Lou enough that he hadn’t tried getting to Peter again.
For now.
Braden joined Peter to look at the wall.
He was clearly humoring Peter, but Peter liked it.
He liked everything about Braden. He might be terrified of what might happen next and of investing in their relationship, but he knew that Braden was nothing like Lou.
Logically, it was obvious, but his heart still skipped a beat when Braden moved too fast, and he knew that it would take him some time to get over it.
He’d been afraid that Braden wouldn’t like that, but he should have known better.
Braden never pushed for more. He never made Peter uncomfortable.
He was just there, giving him time and space, but also reminding him that if he needed anything, he just had to ask for it.
He cooked Peter meals, held him after he had nightmares, and had made himself indispensable.
Peter didn’t know what his life would look like if it didn’t have Braden in it, and even though he knew it was because they were mates, it was still hard to believe.
He hadn’t known this man until a few weeks ago, and now, he was the center of his universe.
Part of that was because of Lou. Peter barely left the house in case Lou managed to get into pack territory again.
He would eventually, and everyone wanted to be cautious so that Peter wouldn’t get hurt when it happened.
Peter had already been angry with Lou, but he was starting to be furious because he felt like a prisoner.
Renovating the house was helping with that feeling, but there was only so much he and Braden could do, especially without talking about why they were doing it.
“I like it,” Braden said. “You were right. It fits the room.”
Peter had chosen a soft sage green for the living room.
Braden had mentioned that he thought blue would have worked, too.
They hadn’t argued over the choice, mostly because Braden had said that he liked green, but Peter was relieved that he actually liked it and hadn’t been saying it just to make him happy.
Because this felt like more than painting the walls.
It felt like they were building something, and Peter was afraid to.
They were making the house belong to them, and for Peter, that was perfectly fine, but what about Braden?
He’d mentioned that he’d been thinking about moving closer to the pack, but what did he think about it now that he knew he had a mate?
Peter had many questions, and he knew that Braden would answer them if he asked, but he was also scared.
The problem was that he was always scared.
He hated that Lou had done this to him, but he wasn’t sure how to deal with it.
How could he get over it? Even knowing that Braden was nothing like Lou wasn’t really helping.
“So, what color do you think we should paint the kitchen?” Braden asked, gently knocking their shoulders together.
Peter shrugged. “I think the kitchen has more problems than just needing a coat of paint.”
“Oh? What would you want to fix in there, then?”
Peter opened his mouth to tell Braden his plans for the kitchen, but a knock on the front door interrupted them.
They weren’t expecting anyone, but Peter told himself not to freak out.
He didn’t have a reason to. Vincent visited almost every day, so it was probably him, but Peter’s heart still raced, silently telling him that Lou was here and he needed to run.
He didn’t. He stayed where he was in the living room while Braden went to open the door. He closed his eyes as he listened to the voices, relaxing when he recognized Vincent’s. Everything was fine.
“I’m going to my office for a bit,” Braden said, peeking back into the living room as Vincent walked in. “Yell if you need anything, and I mean that, Peter.”
“We’ll be fine,” Peter promised.
Braden still hesitated for a moment. Peter gave him a soft smile, and Braden’s cheeks flushed. He did leave, though, and when Peter turned to look at Vincent, it was to find his best friend staring at him.
“What?” he asked.
“You’re going to tell me what happened between the two of you, aren’t you?”
“Who said that anything happened?”
“Uh, my eyes? I mean, the two of you were pretty sweet on each other already, but it’s clear that something’s changed.”
Peter knew that with Braden in his office, they would have privacy.
Braden wouldn’t spy on them, not like Lou would have.
Hell, Lou wouldn’t have been discreet about it, either.
He’d spent a lot of time with Vincent and Peter because he thought they would talk about him if he didn’t.
He probably hadn’t been wrong, although Peter never would have told Vincent what Lou was doing to him.
He flopped on the couch, wrinkling his nose at the strong scent of paint in the room. Maybe they should’ve taken this to the kitchen, but before he could say anything, Vincent sat down and grabbed his hand.
“Talk,” he ordered.
Peter laughed. “You’re so impatient.”
“I am when it comes to your love life.” Vincent paused. “I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time. I’m glad you’re not miserable anymore, and I want to know if I should congratulate the two of you.”
“Well, I don’t know about congratulations, but I did tell Braden that he’s my mate.”
Vincent beamed. “That’s great. How did he take it? What did he say?”
“He was as perfect as I could have wanted. I told him the day Lou came here. I couldn’t sleep that night, so I went to his room and asked if I could sleep with him.”
“Peter!” Vincent said, looking delighted.
Peter pushed his best friend. “Not like that. I just didn’t want to be alone, you know?
And being the sweet man that he is, he immediately welcomed me under the blankets.
I just couldn’t not tell him after that.
He’s been taking care of me, even though he didn’t know.
He’s been everything I could ever want from a mate, and I was tired of telling myself not to hope. ”
“Are you letting yourself hope now?”
“Well, we decided to paint the living room to make the house feel more like it’s ours. I don’t have another place to go, but he does, so I don’t know what’s going to happen, but we’re making the decisions together.”
“What’s going to happen is that you two already live together. Neither of you has a reason to leave. From what I can see, you’re already settling down.”
“But we’re not together.”
“Aren’t you? Your relationship might not be what you thought it would be, but it doesn’t mean you’re not together.”
Peter blinked. Vincent wasn’t wrong, was he? He and Braden had expectations from a relationship between mates, but not hitting them didn’t mean theirs wasn’t a relationship. Maybe they’d already taken the first step towards having one.
Or many steps, just not the ones Peter would have expected.
* * * *
“ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE up for this?” Braden asked as he and Peter hovered by the front door.
Peter swallowed heavily enough that Braden noticed. “I’m fine,” he promised.
“I didn’t say you weren’t fine. You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready for it, though.”
Peter set his jaw. “I am ready for this. It’s just a small gathering at a friend’s house, right? Why wouldn’t I be ready for it?”
“No one is going to expect you to act completely normally considering everything. If you’d rather stay home, I’m sure Camden and Toby would understand.”
“I know they would. Toby texted me twice to tell me. I don’t want to stay home, though. I want to go to their party and spend time with them and with other people. I don’t want to feel stuck in this house.”
He reached for Braden, surprising him. The touch on Braden’s arm was light, but it still sent Braden’s heart racing. He told himself to be cool. The last thing he needed was to spook Peter.
“I’m not going to lie. I am scared. I feel like Lou is out there, watching me.”