23. Jansen
23
JANSEN
How long was long enough? How long would it take people not to say we were rushing things? Also, why the hell was it anyone’s business but ours?
If I was happy with Stephen and he was happy with me, who cared how we got to where we were or how many days had passed since we’d started dating? There was no question in my mind I loved him. It was a soul deep, would do anything for him, I was in it with all of me, kind of love. The kind that made me feel like I could do anything. Sure, it lifted me up and made me feel good, but it was more than that. More than I’d ever experienced before.
Tonight, I was cooking him dinner. Hopefully it would be a memorable one and not because of the meal I was currently plating. I couldn’t keep inside any longer how much I loved him. The words wouldn’t stay trapped in my chest. They were bursting to be said. In saying them though, I would be as terrified as I was excited.
All these thoughts went through me like: what if he didn’t say them back or what if he didn’t feel close to the same for me that I did for him?
If he didn’t get here soon, I would talk myself out of saying anything at all, even if I was about to combust.
I did my best to set the table perfectly and try to keep my mind off the big emotions. Of course, once I did that, other stuff crept in, like the shit I read online about Serilda. Not that she said anything about her dad and me. She had her reputation, after all. Someone from her team was no doubt coaching her on how to handle the news her dad was in a relationship with her ex who, last she knew, was straight.
Sexuality wasn’t what it used to be. It was more fluid now. But my life wasn’t the same because I didn’t have the opportunity to hide or keep things private. Not that I wanted to hide anything about Stephen or how I felt. While being in the spotlight wasn’t always the best, I also made enough money where I didn’t give a fuck what most people said about me. I had a supportive team, friends, and a family who loved me. To have every aspect of my life online, that could be a lot to swallow at times, but I’d learned over the years how to handle it.
It was Stephen I worried about. He was tense when he read the articles about us. While his sexuality wasn’t changing, his life was because I was in it. It wasn’t just that he was dating me. His daughter factored into the equation.
Groaning, I dropped onto the couch and put my head back with my eyes closed. He’d be here any minute. The last thing he needed to see was me too caught in my head to focus on what should be an amazing night.
I love you wasn’t said lightly, at least not by me. When I said it to Stephen tonight, I’d mean it with my whole heart. Every part of me felt the love for him pumping through my veins, wrapping around me like the warmest blanket on a cold winter night. He was everything I could ever want and more.
There was a knock on my door, causing me to jump to my feet. I rushed into the bathroom quick to make sure I looked good. I mean, it wasn’t like I put a suit on or anything like that, but I needed my hair not to be sticking up and my shirt to be on straight.
Calling it good, I went to the door and opened it to reveal the man who held my heart on the other side. Just seeing him and his sweet smile had me instantly relaxing as a smile of my own bloomed on my lips.
Instead of using words, I reached for him, drawing him into my arms so I could hold him close and soak in the warmth he provided. His arms came around me as his lips pressed to my throat in a soft kiss.
“Jansen? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, just needed to feel you.” Once I had him inside, I used my foot and kicked the door shut. I wanted to lock the world out, have it just be the two of us.
Stephen leaned back to peer into my eyes. I could swim in the hazel depths of his and never come out. With him, it felt like anything was possible. Like it did when I was playing. To have that surety in another aspect of my life was taking some getting used to. After tonight, I hoped it was cemented. That he was permanent with me.
“Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m just glad you’re here. I made dinner, but first, can I tell you something?”
His hands went to my hips, concern creasing the corners of his eyes. “Of course. You can say anything to me.”
“I love you.” Shit, I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that. Way to be smooth, Kenna. Fuck’s sake. “I do, Stephen. I love you so much that if I didn’t say it, I was going to burst. Please don’t feel like you have to say it back. That’s not why I told you. I just thought you should know what’s going on with me.”
He leaned forward to brush his lips over mine in a quick kiss. I could feel his grin forming and saw it when he pulled back. “Can I talk now?”
I smiled. “Yeah. Sorry I was rambling.”
“Don’t apologize for that. It’s cute. But, Jansen?” Here it was. The truth was coming. How he really felt for me.
“Yeah?” I held my breath, waiting for the moment when I would either breathe easy or feel like there was a knife in my heart.
“I love you too.”
My shoulders loosened and my muscles relaxed. Was it possible to smile any bigger than I was? I didn’t think so. “You do?”
“Yes, I do.”
My arms went around him again, this time lifting his body from the floor in an embrace. “Fuck yeah!” I put him down, but didn’t give him a chance to respond before my lips met his so we could really kiss this time.
When we parted, we were both breathless. And happy, so fucking happy I wanted to tell the world. I wouldn’t because this wasn’t their business, but the urge was there to let everyone know this man loved me above everyone else out there he could have been with. He chose me and I chose him back.
He laughed. “I’m glad you told me. I wouldn’t want you to keep something like that in. Or anything, for that matter.” His hand went to my cheek in a gentle caress. “Always give me your words. I want to hear them.”
“Even when they’re a bit out there and probably fueled by emotion?”
“Especially then.”
“I don’t like being apart from you. Now that I have you and know you love me, I never want to let you go.”
His eyes went wide. “Jansen, I…”
I chuckled. “I’m not proposing. At least not now. I don’t want to rule it out for the future. What if we take the next step and live together? Would that be crazy?”
“No crazier than me falling for a hockey player from my favorite team.”
“So, what do you think?”
“I want to be with you all the time too. It might be fast, but damn if I care.”
“This is romance movie level shit right here.”
“It is, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Dinner’s getting cold. You spent your time making it. Let’s eat before it’s ruined.”
I hummed. “Not yet.”
Dropping to my knees in front of him, I opened his jeans with deft fingers and pulled his half-hard dick out. It was heavy and hardening more in my hand.
Stephen’s fingers wove into my hair. “Jansen,” he murmured.
I peered up at him. “I want to taste you.”
He nodded and kept his hand on my head, not to push or make me do more than I wanted. It was like he had to touch me just as much as I had to do the same with him.
With lust coursing through me and need making me hard as steel, I dove forward and took him to the point I choked. I was too wired for slow right now but, apparently, my brain thought trying to deep throat him was smart when I didn’t have that kind of skill yet. So, I reined myself in and sucked, licked, moaned, and did everything I could to drive him wild.
The sounds that slipped from his lips, the way his fingers tightened in my hair, it drove me on until I had to take my dick out and fist myself. It was either that or I was going to rub one out through my shorts. Skin on skin was always preferable.
I pulled off him long enough to spit on my fingers then put my lips around him again. My finger found its way to his hole so I could tease around the rim before slowly pushing in. I tongued his dick under the head then slid off. His balls needed attention too. I devoured him while my finger played with him. It didn’t take long before I found that spot inside him that had his cries getting louder. It was just how I wanted him, begging for me to send him soaring.
When I sucked him between my lips the next time, he thrusted, pushing farther than I thought I could take him, but I didn’t back off or shove him away. I choked as spit came from the corners of my mouth. Stephen was beautiful above me, letting his need take over.
My fist moved faster on my dick, jerking myself to the point I tipped over the edge with a long, low moan around his dick. Cum shot from me in a never-ending stream as I kept working myself, doing the same to him.
Stephen called out my name a moment before his cum flooded my mouth and his body trembled against my touch.
If I got this amazing view for the rest of my life, I’d be a happy man. Stephen was everything I didn’t know I needed until I had him. Now that I did, I let his words of love for me sink deep into my chest and fill me with joy.
I worked him through the last of his orgasm until he stilled, and I swallowed as much of his cum as I could. Standing, I licked my lips and grinned.
His finger swiped over my chin. “I like this look on you.” Stephen pressed his lips to mine, immediately parting them so he could lick along me and taste his release. Fuck, it was sexy as hell and the perfect ending to the orgasms we shared.
By the time we finally got around to dinner, it was cold but nothing a quick warm-up in the oven couldn’t remedy. Stephen and I sat close while we ate, trading kisses every now and then. It was perfect. Everything about tonight was.
Love like we shared was big. So big, I wasn’t sure if I could fully put into words all the things it made me feel. What I knew for certain was, there would never be another in my life like him and I didn’t want there to be.
It was fast, crazy, and I loved every second of it. If I had it my way, I would make him mine one day and have us pledge our lives to each other. That was a bit too far for today though. We were in love and going to live together. I couldn’t wait to see where the future took us.