31. Jansen
31
JANSEN
There was only one other place I’d rather be than a preseason home game, but burying myself inside of Stephen wouldn’t be appropriate given the crowd at the arena. At least he was here to watch me play, just as excited as I was.
My eyes found him in the stands. My jersey sat on his shoulders. The best part, even though I couldn’t see it, was my name on the back. I’d claimed him. Stephen Forrester was mine and we were buying a house together. Now all I needed was another run for the Cup and I’d be a happy man.
A shoulder bumped into mine. Turning, I found King had skated over to me. “Get your head out of the clouds, Kenna. We have a game to play.”
“Please, like you’re not going to look at Jamie today. Or follow Hayes around while we play.”
He lifted his chin. “I will do no such things.”
“Uh huh, keep telling yourself that.”
“Telling himself what?” Hayes asked, joining us. Now there were three of us staring into the crowd like idiots.
“Kenna thinks I can’t keep my eyes to myself and not stare at you or Jamie.”
“It’s a solid concern,” Hayes said. “But we’ll be watching you too, so it’s all fair.”
“I do have a nice ass. Too bad I can’t show it off like this. Later though…” He waggled his eyebrows.
“Yeah, yeah.” Hayes chuckled.
Devon was the next one to come over to us and glance up. “What am I missing?”
“We’re all looking like lovesick fools, staring at our men,” I told him.
He hummed and found Lincoln. He was near the end of a row in the back, not wanting to be in the thick of things with a rowdy crowd. Right now, they were somewhat calm. Once the game started that would change. A smile formed on Devon’s lips.
“Hey, fuckers,” we heard from behind us. Turning in unison, we saw Knox watching us. “Are you going to play or is this what I can expect every time we’re home?”
“You’re just jealous,” King said.
“I’m not disputing that, but I’d really like to focus on the game and you’re distracting me.”
I rolled my eyes but skated away from the others so Knox could get into his zone.
Once the game started, it was nothing but focus. The crowd no longer existed; Stephen wasn’t here watching me. Everything I did was with the sole focus of winning. These were games for the coaches to evaluate us and figure out if they had to change the roster and shit like that. I was solid in my position, so I didn’t worry about it. Plus, all the work I did with Jagger offseason made me more powerful on the ice. I wasn’t cocky, just damn sure of what I did.
Jagger was in the stands too today, probably critiquing every move I made. I loved him though. His feedback was always valuable to me. Not once had he steered me wrong, so I would take any criticism he had at the same level I would my coach’s.
Every time my ass hit the bench, I stayed focused on the game, not wanting to let my eyes drift to Stephen. It was tempting though, I knew myself. If I wanted to play well, I had to keep my gaze trained on the game in front of me.
We made it through the periods, winning the game without any injuries, though there was plenty of chirping from both teams, which was to be expected. Luckily, none of the homophobic slurs were present. Maybe they were learning we didn’t deal with that shit here, or anywhere, for that matter. Or maybe more of the players were either keeping their mouths shut or becoming more accepting of players who weren’t straight. Either way, I was glad for it. If we had to hear that shit again this season, there would be multiple fights.
Knox had been calmer during the game, more laser focused. When he got back from Pittsburgh, he said he had a lot of time to clear his head. That he wouldn’t be pulling the same shit this season he had during the last one. He’d given up drinking, which we were all grateful for. I didn’t think his troubles mysteriously went away, but if he was able to find a way to keep calm and handle things better, I was all for it. Knox was a great man. I hated seeing him hurting. He wanted what I’d found, and I couldn’t blame him for it. Now that I knew what it was like to fall as hard as I had, I would fight with everything in me to always have that kind of love.
After we got done in the showers, Knox sat with his head in his hands, a towel wrapped around his waist. I dressed and crouched in front of him. “Knox, man, what’s up?”
Tortured eyes met mine. So much for thinking he was doing better. “I want it too.” I didn’t need to ask what it was.
Reaching out, I put my hand on his knee. “You’ll find it. I never thought I would in the way I had or with who. It’s easy for me to say everything happens for a reason, but it does. Look how far you’ve come since you left at the end of last season. Shit, your skin looks better, your eyes are brighter.”
“But in here…” He put his hand over his chest. “In here it hurts.”
“I know. I wish I could take it away. Hey, what do you say we head down to the beach after this? We’ll walk around and decompress.”
He shook his head. “You’re going out with Stephen.”
“He’ll understand. He’s a good man, not the kind who demands all of my attention.” Like a certain woman whose name I was no longer thinking or speaking. She hated me. I hated her. What the fuck ever. All I cared about was how she treated Stephen. She still hadn’t spoken to him since the last time he saw her. Stephen was okay with it, not just saying that to make me feel less guilty. He’d proven I was important to him. “Come on. Get dressed. We’ll talk to Stephen on the way out.”
“He doesn’t have any friends who’d like to meet a goalie, does he?”
“Men, no. Women? Maybe, but you like dick so that won’t work.”
That got a half smile from him. “You’re so eloquent when you speak.”
I grinned. “I try. Now get moving.”
Grabbing my phone, I sent a message to Stephen saying I’d be out in a minute. I also gave him a quick rundown about Knox. Stephen was one of the most understanding men I’d ever met. If he knew Knox was feeling down, he’d want me to be there for my friend. In return, I’d do my best to be there for Stephen tonight while naked and willing for whatever he had in mind.
Sure enough, the text I received told me it was fine, and he’d be waiting for me when I was done.
Knox dressed and together we walked out. I hugged Stephen and whispered I’d like him to wear the jersey and nothing else when I saw him later. He whimpered so only I could hear it. My dick twitched, though I willed it to calm down. Now wasn’t the time. Knox hung back but after I pulled away from Stephen, he went to Knox to congratulate him on a great game.
I hated watching Stephen walk away, but it was for a good reason. What I didn’t expect when we went outside was to find Hayes, King, Devon, and Noah waiting for us.
“What are you guys doing?” I asked. “Is there a dinner we’re late for?”
“There’s always a dinner,” Devon said, “But we wanted to hang out with you two.” When his eyes landed on Knox, I understood one of them overheard me talking to him and decided we all needed to support our friend.
Instead of going to the beach like I originally suggested, Devon thought it would be best to hang out at his place. Lincoln wouldn’t be there. While Devon didn’t elaborate, I had a feeling he asked his partner if he could give us a bit of space. When one of us was down, the others rallied, just like we were tonight.
“C’mon, Knox, let’s get you in a better mood,” King said, slinging his arm over Knox’s shoulders. “You can ride with me while Hayes drives your Corvette to D’s house.”
“Works for me!” Hayes called. “You can have your eardrums damaged while I get a quiet ride out of the city.”
King shot him a glare. “You love my music.”
“I love you. The music, not when it shakes my fucking organs loose.”
King flipped him off and dragged Knox to his BMW. Knox threw the keys to Hayes, who caught them with a grin. If there was anyone who would lighten Knox’s mood, it was King. He was one of the happiest men on the team, always ready to make anyone smile. Just being around him had his energy bleeding into who was nearby.
It took us longer than the usual forty minutes to drive to the middle of nowhere that Devon called home. This also put us closer to Knox’s house. He lived about ten minutes from Devon. If Knox wanted to go home, it wouldn’t take long. One of us could easily take him too.
Another good part about going to Devon’s, there was a lack of alcohol. Lincoln didn’t drink and Devon wasn’t a partier. There wouldn’t be temptation staring Knox in the face.
When we pulled into the driveway, it was still light out. Our game was an afternoon one today, which meant we had the whole night to spend with Knox. King walked into Devon’s kitchen and started working on a meal for us. We were usually hungry after a game. King would know just what to cook.
The rest of us grabbed water and sat in the living room. It was quiet, too quiet. I kept trying to think of something to say to get the mood lighter but failed at every turn. No one else was coming up with anything either.
“Okay,” Knox said. “Enough of this feeling sorry for Leslie shit. Listen, I know I was down after the game. It’s not easy when I see how happy all of you are. But that’s for me to figure out. I’m a big boy and will handle it on my own. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not drinking anymore. I do appreciate what you’ve done though. It means a lot that you’d put your evenings on hold to make sure I was all right.”
“You mean a lot to us,” Devon told him. “If one of us needs something, the others are here for them.”
“I appreciate it. I’m good though. It was a momentary thing. I need to stay positive and hope it’s my turn soon.”
“That’s the spirit!” King called from the kitchen. “Put out into the universe what you hope to receive.”
“So, I should start thinking about dick more often?” Knox joked. I loved seeing the smile on his face.
“Wouldn’t hurt.” King never missed a beat. “Maybe add some details like a hairy sac if that’s your thing. Or a piercing. Oh, maybe a tattoo down below. That could be hot.”
It was just what we needed to lift Knox’s spirits and have us laughing. King made a dinner that was more like fine dining, yet we ate it like a pack of animals who didn’t have proper manners.
Hours later, we were yawning. Knox was more relaxed with a smile on his face. “Thank you,” he said as we were leaving. “I missed you assholes this summer.”
“Lucky for you, the season’s only starting,” I said. “You’ll be sick of us by the end of it.”
“Never.”