26. Cin
Cin
I catch bits and pieces of the fight down the hall. Talon’s reaction is extreme but not totally wrong. I wish I didn’t feel like the devil’s advocate right now, on one hand he never expected to see me over break, especially in his house. On the other, I can imagine now why Talon is the way he is.
And it makes my view of him shift, nothing close to forgiveness, but at least I can understand a small portion of him. I can’t help the way my heart flutters with the outrage coming from him, even though he’s tormented me for the past few months.
It’s almost as if he… cares.
The four men who came with Mack and my mother to rescue me were… intimidating to say the least. All with varying degrees of ‘scary dude’ energy.
The whole experience was jarring, and I’m still not sure I’ve processed much of anything. So maybe my brain has decided it wants to like Talon.
Stupid brain.
Mama comes in and sits on the side of the bed that’s empty. Tucking her knee under her body and leaning over to grasp my hand.
“How much did you hear?” She asks, and I’ve never been in the habit of lying to my mother.
“Enough to seriously question your mental state in bringing me to Talon’s house , of all places. Why are we here, Mama?” I counter.
She sighs and bites the inner flesh of her lip, “Mack and I, we have history, and this is his house too.”
“Mom,” I won’t yell, not at her.
I can see her swallow, and watch her eyes slowly close. She takes a deep breath before releasing it, chest rising and falling.
“When I met your father, I was just beginning my undercover career. I wanted to be a good agent, better than anyone,” she smiles, “a lot of that drive is in you, your need to be the best you can be in everything.”
I can’t laugh, because I feel like my body is revolting from all the pain meds, yet I crave this version of my mother. The open and honest one.
“The Bureau planted me and another agent together in this community they’d had their eyes on, they couldn’t get any hard evidence, but they suspected them of murder, drug running, plus a whole host of other unsavory things.”
She eyes me, as if I’ll ask her to stop. Not a chance in hell.
“Mhmm,” I push her on.
“When I finally caught your father’s eye, I felt victorious, I’d gotten into this exclusive community that our government wanted removed. I thought, with as fast as I had gotten his attention, I’d have this case over in weeks. Maybe a few months, but nothing prepared me for Serge.”
“He was charming, charismatic; at first, I thought our intel was bad. There was no way Serge could have done the things he was being accused of. I’d seen no evidence of secret meetings, your father never asked me anything that I wasn’t willing to tell him, it was a normal relationship.”
Her eyes start to water, and I cover her hand with mine. Urging her on, even though I know I don’t want to hear this. I need to hear everything. I need to know why this is happening.
“I found out I was pregnant seven months into the assignment. Seven months Serge fed me this picturesque lifestyle, but the moment he found out I was pregnant, things began to shift. He was protective, too protective.”
She starts to shift in her seat, obviously uncomfortable having to relive this trauma, but she goes on.
“The first time he had the community gather was the day he told them I was pregnant. I watched as they cheered, but I had no idea why. It was like I was living in a fantasy, all of our neighbors brought me things, trinkets, food, you name it.”
“One day, when I wanted to leave, Serge lost his temper. Forbidding me from leaving the compound. He said it wasn’t safe, that there were people who would kill me if they knew I was pregnant with his baby.”
Tears fall from her eyes, and I sit up, ignoring the pain and scooching over so I can wrap my arms around her.
She sniffles, but continues, “when I told him he was being dramatic, he locked me in our house. Told me that he would get me whatever I needed, I didn’t have to lift a finger, so long as you were okay.”
“That’s when I knew he wasn’t who I thought he was. He didn’t care about me at all, and ultimately, I was used as a tool to give him what he wanted all along: you . He’d be pretending the entire time, it was all a charade to convince me he was something else. He knew all the right things to say, and I let my guard down. My mistake almost cost you your life.”
She’s shaking now, eyes flinty and filled with rage.
“I tore his study apart, I wanted him to know I knew who he really was. I found every shred of evidence I could and packed it into a bag. When he didn’t come home that night, I ran. I got to the edge of the compound and squeezed through a hole I’d made months before where I’d give updates under the guise of picking flowers. That’s where I met Mack.”
“He was standing there, waiting for his father to get out of a meeting. He took one look at my fearful eyes and swept me into his car,” she smiles a genuine smile that makes my heart ache for her. “He asked me a ton of questions, and I happily answered them, omitting the reason why I was there in the first place. He saw right through it, he knew I was an agent. The Hemlock family doesn’t skimp on their due diligence.”
I hear a rumbled laugh from the doorway, and we both look up. Mack’s there, leaned against the door, “sorry, I just wanted to check on you both.”
He turns to leave, and Mama asks for him to stay, looking back at me, she adds, “if that’s okay with you?”
Looking at him, he looks almost hopeful that I’ll say okay. His brown eyes are wide and his smile is slight, as if he’s not used to the way his muscles move when he does it.
I nod and ask, “will you tell me the rest? How exactly, I got my scar?”
She nods, tears still leaking down her cheeks, “Mack told me I needed to give him everything I had on Serge, then gave me two options, one being that he’d take me wherever I needed to go to inform the FBI on my findings, or he would protect us and together we would run instead. I told him to take me to an office that we’d set up as a home base if anything went sideways. Which at that point, it had.”
“So he did, he dropped me off about a block away after I promised to make copies of everything I had and leave them where he told me. I notified my superior officer, and they praised me. Even asked if I’d work another case, and that’s when I told them I was pregnant, and at the ‘safe house’. That they needed to come get me and keep us away from Serge. They did, but just as I was about to go into labor, I was shopping at a market downtown on the other side of the US, and that’s where Serge found me.”
“He kidnapped and drugged me. At this point he had moved his operation and locked me to a bed in his new compound,” Mack grips her shoulders and gently starts moving his hands. “He would visit, to spew his hatred, and his disgust for me. He told me the only reason he was keeping me alive was so he could have you. To raise you up as his protégé, that he was building an empire for you. But I knew he was just a selfish bastard, and that he would never relinquish his reign, even if you wanted it. Which I was adamant you would not with all the bad things he’d done since I left.”
“A few days after he kidnapped me, I went into labor. I gave birth to the most precious baby, but the drugs he’d given me for the pain were potent, and the first thing I’d said when I saw you was Cinnamon. I don’t know why, I was obviously delirious, but he let me name you that,” she smiles, remembering what it was like, I assume, to hold something you created inside yourself for so long, in your arms. To hear it cry, and take its first breaths. I can imagine it was a moment she’ll never forget.
“Serge kept me around to raise you, but not without cost. He told me if I so much as stepped one foot outside of his house, he’d kill you and force me to get pregnant again.”
She hiccups, and my heart sinks into my chest. My own father threatened me to keep my mother from leaving. Threatened to rape her over and over to get her pregnant again. I didn’t want her to relive this any more.
“Stop,” I whispered, “Mama, I’m sorry.”
She shushed me, wrapping me up in her arms, “you need to hear the rest.”
Mack sat quietly beside her, and I moved my legs to make room for him.
“So I did as he asked, we lived like gilded prisoners for nearly two years like that. He hardly came to see you, but when he did, he took you for hours at a time. When he’d come back, I’d check you over, I was scared to death that he’d hurt you. Mack had visited a few times—back then I didn’t know why he was there. I’d heard him through the door when I’d crack it open. He realized after Serge brought you out that I must be back with him, and not of my own free will. Together, over the span of a month, we made a plan to get us out and put Serge away.”
She looks back at Mack and he smiles at her encouragingly, “but the night everything was set, Serge came for you. He was mumbling about rites and precision, and my gut told me he was going to hurt you. It filled my body, and when I finally got in contact with Mack, I told him that our plan had to move right then. The FBI got an anonymous tip about Serge, by then he was on the most wanted list. Everyone wanted the take down. When I found you, he had you laying on a mattress surrounded by trees, clothed in a white dress that was so long it tangled in your legs. People in robes were standing, swaying as he shouted words I couldn’t recognize. My brain clicked off the moment I saw the knife he held above my sweet girl. My baby. He swung it down, but you were crying, writhing on the mattress begging for me.”
“That’s when all hell broke loose, lights swarmed the group and bullets flew. But all I could see was you, lying in a pool of blood that was rushing from your neck. He’d clipped your artery, so I stripped off my shirt to press it to your little neck, screaming for help. They had an ambulance with them, it was the only thing I had on my mind. Getting you some help. You were touch and go for days. Laying in that hospital bed, it was the worst week of my life. I thought I’d lose you.”
She sniffles, and I can’t process everything fast enough. My father tried to kill me, and now he was what? After me again? Why kidnap me now? Unless he still wants to kill me for reasons unknown.
“I’m…” sorry didn’t seem like it would cut it, to believe you would lose your child, and like that.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. And you know what? I’d do it all over again, just to have you.”
I smile, letting the tears fall that have threatened to since I saw her enter the gas station, we cry together, with her wrapped around my body. Mack left a while ago, slipping out quietly and closing the door.
“When we got out of the hospital, Mack was there. He spent a lot of time with us the following year. He told me about his family, and why they were there so often. He asked me to stay, but I decided to go back to the bureau. Even after everything, I wanted to be an agent, knowing it would cost me my heart.”
“Your heart… Mack?” I asked, whispering his name as if he were a ghost.
She chuckles, “yeah, Mack.”