Chapter 44 #2
Their gazes met. Stunned, she could only stare into his eyes. Eyes that weren’t just filled with desire, or satisfied pleasure. In those silvery gray depths, she saw an easy, honest affection, so direct, so open, so…naked. Exposed. As exposed as she felt.
“I—”
“Blair,” he said at the same time.
“What?”
“You go,” he said, again speaking over her.
Their lips both twitched, but his arms banded more tightly around her. When she didn’t speak, he said, “The shower is going to run cold, you have a meeting you can’t be late for, and we need to talk.”
“I know,” she said, unable to look away.
He didn’t let her budge. “I know it, too.” He sighed heavily, then pressed his head to hers. “And yet I can’t let you go,” he said, the words hardly more than a rasp.
Her fingers dug into his back of their own volition, so clearly did her heart mirror that sentiment.
“I know how complicated this is. I know it’s not easy. Fuck—” he said as the moment spun out. “We will talk more…I want more…”
She told herself that the fact he’d wanted more at all, wanted anything near what she found herself yearning for, was gift enough. It told her she hadn’t tossed her heart into the ring completely selfishly or foolishly. That would have to be enough.
“This is fast and furious, and we haven’t known each other long, or have the kind of knowledge you’re supposed to have about someone in order to know for certain what your feelings are for them.”
She stilled then, even as her heart began racing.
“It’s supposed to be something built upon, slowly, over time, so you know, for sure, what it is, what it can be, and what it isn’t or will never be.”
She lifted her head then, looked into his eyes, and her heart lifted to her throat at the stark vulnerability she saw there, the fear.
“Kelly….”
“So explain this to me,” he said, his voice almost gone now, the rasp was so deep. “Explain how I know it’s you. How it’s always been you.” He paused, looking almost helpless. “How it will always be you.”
Tears sprang to her eyes, and her attempts to coerce herself into being smart and responsible came to an abrupt and permanent end.
“Because you just do,” she said, her throat tight with the threat of those unshed tears.
“I have no perspective left where you’re concerned. There’s nothing rational about this, Blair, and I don’t know what to—”
She covered his mouth with her fingers. “Not everything is rational, babe. Not everything has to be.”
He pulled the pad of one of her fingers between his lips, gently pressed his teeth down, making her shudder in instantly renewed need.
Her heart was all the way out there, and it was both exhilarating and terrifying to think his might be, too.
What did it mean? What would it change? She didn’t want to think about any of that.
She just wanted to be right where she was, in that particular moment, exulting in the intensity of the connection they seemed to be sharing.
Knowing she wasn’t in it alone made giving in to it unbearably seductive.
She pressed her finger against his tongue and felt his body jerk against hers.
“Come on,” he murmured around her finger, not letting it go.
“It’s something to solve later.” He stuck his hand under the spray, then tugged them both carefully into the shower.
The water wasn’t scalding, but it was still hot enough.
There was enough steam in the room to keep them both comfortable under the spray. There was no further conversation.
As if by silent agreement, Blair reached for the body soap and sponge and took her sweet time lathering his entire body.
She missed nothing, and he was growing hard again, and bracing his weight against the wall by the time she was done.
Then he tugged her directly under the spray with him so the water cascaded over them both, rinsing the foamy soap off as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
Slow and deep, she fell completely into it, feeling him growing harder, nudging between her thighs.
For the first time in her regimented life, she decided they could just wait.
Later, after the shower, she piled the eggs onto the toast, cut it in half, and handed him a portion. He took a bite, leaning against the counter, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “So, you got your cake, and you’re eating it, too?”
“Yes,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee, a playful challenge in her eyes. “Marie Antoinette can eat her heart out.”
“I feel so used,” he said with mock outrage, a grin tugging at his lips, but the serious conversation they had still in his eyes.
“Aw, poor thing.” She leaned in and kissed him, quick and hard. “I’ll make it up to you later.”
“Isn’t that how I got in this mess in the first place?”
“Yeah.” She smirked. “See how well that worked out.”
The air in Darrow’s office was thick with the scent of stale coffee and quiet desperation.
Superintendent Lucas Dejardins stood by the window, a man whose calm presence seemed to suck the toxicity out of the room.
Darrow himself sat behind his desk, a rigid knot of a man in clothes that were suddenly too tight for him.
He’d summoned her here, expecting to put her on the defensive, to chip away at her success with bureaucratic pettiness.
Instead, he looked like a man who’d just been told his house was on fire.
Blair stood at attention, feeling the weight of the moment, but not understanding its source.
“Staff Sergeant Brown,” Dejardins began, his voice a low, steady rumble that carried an unshakable authority. “Thank you for coming in. I’ll be brief.”
He turned from the window, his expression serious but not unkind.
“Your tactical leadership during The Eightfold Kings takedown was, to put it mildly, exemplary. Your record, in general, paints a picture of decisive, courageous, and brilliantly executed operations. You have delivered a significant blow to organized crime in this country.”
Blair kept her face a neutral mask, but a flicker of satisfaction warmed her chest. “It was a team effort, sir,” she said. She had done her job to the best of her ability. That would always be enough.
Dejardins nodded. “As a result, a position has opened. It’s a new posting, born directly from the success of this operation.
We’re standing up a national-level Drug Interdiction Task Force, based in Ottawa.
We need a commander to lead it. Someone with your field experience and your proven tactical acumen.
We would like you to take the promotion and lead that task force. ”
The words hung in the air, sharp and unreal.
Inspector. Ottawa. National task force. It was a lightning strike.
A career-making offer. A dream she hadn’t even known she was allowed to have.
For a full three seconds, her mind simply refused to process the sentence.
The blood drained from her face, a cold wave washing over her.
Darrow’s gaze on her burned with a new intensity.
She finally found her voice, but it came out as a breathless whisper. “Sir… I… I don’t know what to say.”
A slow, vicious smile spread across Darrow’s face. It was a look of pure, unadulterated shock, but it was a shock that had curdled into something ugly and triumphant. He saw his opportunity. He saw his exit.
“You’re… you’re promoting her?” he sputtered, his voice a choked, incredulous gasp. He pointed a trembling finger at Blair, his composure shattering like cheap glass. “After the insubordination? She hijacked this operation right out from under me. Took over and continued to be—”
“Successful, Superintendent Darrow,” Dejardins cut in, his voice turning to ice.
He didn’t raise it, but the temperature in the room dropped by ten degrees.
“You on the other hand have undermined her since she took this post. I have read the reports, and you’re already being reprimanded for failing to promote her and nurture her as an up-and-coming leader.
The Americans have expressed to me how, even in the face of your disapproval and pettiness, she forged ahead, got the resources they needed, provided a stable leadership space, and used her brilliant mind for this very outcome.
That is the only metric that matters in this room. Is that clear?”
Darrow’s mouth opened and closed like a fish on a dock. He was utterly deflated, his face a mottled purple of rage and humiliation. She suspected he thought she was going to be chastised, and instead, she had once again proved him wrong about who she was.
Blair barely saw him. Her world had narrowed to the chief superintendent’s calm, steady gaze.
This was everything she should want. Except it seemed to complicate her life further.
Instead of being in the field at WILD, she’d be behind a desk, and after that intense moment with Breakneck, she was thrown into a confusing rollercoaster ride.
“If I could have some time to think about this.”
Darrow huffed a hard breath, clearly disgusted she wasn’t jumping at this chance to advance, but ladder climbing was his focus. It had never been hers.
Dejardins’s expression softened slightly. “This is a significant life change, Staff Sergeant. I understand that. Take until the end of the week.”
Blair nodded, her movements feeling stiff and automatic. “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”
She turned and walked out of the office, the weight of the offer settling onto her shoulders like a lead cloak.
Behind her, she could feel Darrow’s impotent, burning stare, but it didn't matter.
The only thing she could feel was the terrifying, exhilarating, and utterly confusing freedom of a future she no longer recognized.
Breakneck watched her pace the length of the small conference room. She hadn’t sat down since she told him.
Inspector. Ottawa. National task force.
The words had landed like a round he hadn’t seen coming.