21. Meet the Parents
Chapter 21
Meet the Parents
Sutter
S ooooo, that didn’t go as planned. Mom always keeps mac ‘n’ cheese in the house. I had this big idea to show him the bike, bring him in here, make him four boxes of mac ‘n’ cheese, tell him we were boyfriends, and then fuck him in my old room. Alderchuck’s enticing ass ruined all that. I couldn’t keep my hands off him, and I jumped the gun. It’s his fault.
Dad’s fiddling with the coffee machine as I strut in, hand-in-hand with my Alderchuck. Ma’s putting out every cookie and baked good she has in the house. Casey’s stomach growls. Ma loves to feed people, and she just met her match. I can’t wait to see which folds first, Ma’s tenacity to fill your plate, or Casey’s bottomless pit of a stomach.
Isla’s got her notebook set before her, a smirk that’s too much like mine on her face, and a crayon in her hand. What is she up to?
“Hey, Ma!” I say, hoping she didn’t grab her slipper for this. Getting my ass kicked by my mom in front of Casey would be more than a little embarrassing. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be home until tonight?”
“Clearly,” she says, smirking like Isla. Okay, maybe it’s not my smirk, but hers.
“Coffee?” Dad says.
“Yeah, I’ll take some. Coffee, baby?” Shit. I might be using that word a tad too much. I didn’t mean to say it in front of my parents.
Mom’s eyes rake me up and down. Oh, really? they say. Fuck. This is terrible. Fucking terrible.
“Love some,” Casey says. “Hi, I’m Casey Alderchuck, Mrs. Sutter, I mean Mrs. Sutter’s mom. Or, uh … oh God. And, um, sorry about my …” He gestures toward his penis, his face blooming a bright cherry red.
Ma smiles and I know she just fell in love with him. “Call me Marie, Casey. Don’t worry about earlier—one hundred percent Mitchell’s fault, not yours, and I’ll have words with him later about it.”
“Wow, your mom’s cool, Sutter.” He smiles at my scowl and sits on the bench seat at the kitchen table across from Isla.
“Why do you call my brother Sutter?” she says.
“Because we’re hockey players. Can I write something with you?”
She rips a paper from her book and hands Alderchuck her crayon. “I’ll need three, no five reasons why you like my brother, and then I can start your application.”
“Okay.”
I squeeze into the corner by the wall beside him and extend my leg across the bench behind him, feeling the need to have some part of me touch him. It’s not claiming, exactly—I’m not jealous of my family’s attention on him—but I like showing people he’s mine.
“Hey, no peeking, Sutter. I’m sure my application’s meant to be private.” He looks to my sister for confirmation.
“Yes,” she agrees. “My business with … what’s your last name again?” she whispers.
“Alderchuck,” he whispers back.
“My business with Mr. Alderchuck is personal and confidential.”
Great. They’re instant friends. Alderchuck’s a giant child, so once again he proves he’s good with kids. He smiles with smugness and covers his sheet so I can’t see. I try to pretend like I don’t give a fuck, but I wanna see.
Casey’s stomach growls again. I slide the plate of cookies toward him. “Eat before your stomach eats itself. Ma, do you have anything more than this?”
“Yep. Give me a sec and I’ll have sandwiches.”
“Do you need help?”
“Nope. Stay there. I’m enjoying this,” she says.
Proof that my mom is a sadist.
“I’m Francisco,” Dad says, setting coffee, cream, and sugar down for us. “Or, Sutter’s dad if you like.” He winks at Casey, probably to let him know all is already forgiven about the “incident”.
“Nice to meet you, Francisco,” Casey says.
The kitchen’s a little too quiet, but at least we’re not talking about what happened in the shed. I know what Mom and Dad are doing. They’re studying me as if I’m an animal in the wild. I’ve never brought someone home in my adult life. When I was a teen, sure, but not since then. They wished I would. They were worried that I wouldn’t find a special someone. But I wasn’t. I never planned for a special someone. Didn’t even want one.
But I think he found me anyway.
I run fingers through his hair and hand him a cookie. He absentmindedly takes it, munching on it while he pretends to be hard at work.
“Okay, done,” he says.
Isla takes the sheet. Her smile grows as she reads. “Same for me on number three,” she says.
Curiosity buzzes inside me. I’m itching to grab that sheet from her.
She laughs. “Yeah. Totally on number five. Okay, I accept your application. You can date my brother. I’ll write you out his care instructions.”
“That would be a relief if you wouldn’t mind,” he says.
“Gimme that.” I finally snatch it from her.
“Sutter!”
“Mitchell!”
Number one: He’s super hot or handsome if you prefer.
Casey’s given up trying to steal the paper back. I trap him against me with an arm across his chest.
Number two: Good at kissing. I smile.
Number three: Good protector. My chest lifts.
Number four: He’s not just a good hockey player, he’s a great one. But never tell him I said that, okay?
I give Casey a squeeze for that one.
Number five: I belong with him.
“Number five isn’t something you like about me,” I complain despite the way my breath hitches and my heart skips a beat on the inside.
“That’s the PG version. They’re all the PG version. I’ll give you the adult list later, babe.”
Babe. Like we’re something. I don’t let go of him. I’ve still got feelings racing through me from earlier. New ones have piled on now that we’ve had this impromptu “meet my parents” session. I need the contact. Mr. Chaos bringing me peace.
Mom sets the largest sandwich I’ve ever seen her make before him. His eyes and smile widen at the same time. “Your mom knows how to make properly sized snacks, Sutter. You could take notes. Thanks, Marie. This’ll totally tide me over until after the game.”
She beams. She’ll have fun feeding him.
“ M itchell, a word in private before you go,” Ma says.
Fuck me.
Alderchuck laughs. “You’re in shit, Sutter. Christmas came early for me.” I growl at him. “I’ll just be in the car. Thank you for your hospitality,” he says to my parents.
“You’re welcome back any time, Casey,” Dad says.
“You’ll love my carbonara,” Mom says, speaking Casey’s love language. “I make the pasta from scratch.”
“Sweet. Yeah. I’ll be back if your son lets me.” He bites his lip, and his eyes slide to me briefly. “See yah!”
He gets to scamper out the door, away from danger, and I have to follow Mom to my doom.
I’m twenty-six, I have my own place, I’m a grown-ass adult, but none of that matters when Mom looks at me like she just did.
“I like him, son,” Dad says. “Good luck with your mom.”
Traitor.
“I thought you wouldn’t be home,” I say once he’s gone.
“And that’s a good reason for having sex in the shed? Because we weren’t here?”
“No, ma’am. I didn’t plan it. I swear. I showed him Dad’s bike and got emotional. Apparently, my emotions work themselves out through sex. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”
Her arms are crossed, but her features soften. “You really like him, don’t you?”
Heat creeps across my neck. Why is that so embarrassing to admit? It’s not like I’m twelve, though, maybe I’m emotionally stunted in that area.
“A bit, yeah.” I rub the back of my neck.
Her small hand catches my face. Her soft thumb runs over my cheek. “I’m happy for you.”
“Don’t get ahead of us. We’re not official, just dating.” Even the word dating is generous, but telling my mom we’re just fuck buddies is off the table. After what she just witnessed, she won’t believe me anyway. She’s already picking out wedding invitations in her mind.
She stands on her tiptoes to whack me upside the head. “Ow. Ma .”
“You’re lucky that’s all you get. What are you doing?”
“I know I’m being an idiot, but …” I take a deep breath. “Even I know having a someone means getting close with them. It’s hard for me to let people in. I’ll have to let him in, and it terrifies the fuck out of me.”
She nods. She knows.
“But I think Dad’s intervening,” I say.
“Oh?”
“It’s like Dad sent him or something,” I say, voicing a thought I’ve barely dared to think. “I know it’s a stupid idea, but Casey keeps doing the unexpected. Too perfect.”
“Not stupid. I think your dad did, too. Lock him down quickly, son.”
“Working on it.”
She nods. “Don’t take too long.”
I’m all light and shit, heading back to my car. Alderchuck’s laughing at something.
“Sorry to ruin your Christmas, but Ma’s not mad at me.”
“Huh? Oh, yeah that. Nah, I’ve moved on to this. Look what your sister sent me.”
My sister?
It’s a picture of me in my Moose Scout leader uniform.
“I figured out why you’re good with kids—you’re a camp counselor!” He cackles.
“Delete that right now.”
“Delete it? Fuck no. I’ll be using this on a lonely night. Somehow you manage to be hot as fuck even when you look so dorky. Still funny as fuck.”
I start up the car. “How did you get my sister’s number?”
“I didn’t. She asked for mine. Said she had something to show me. If that’s not cool, I’ll delete her.”
I kinda like how quickly they’ve become friends. If I did have a boyfriend, he’d need to get along with my family and protect my sister like I do.
“It’s too late now. She’ll know I was behind it and you don’t want to be on the wrong side of Giancola wrath.” I pull out of the driveway, he reaches across the console for my hand. “By the way, you just got a look into your future, Alderchuck.”
“What?”
“If this thing between us is still happenin’ during off-season, guess what you’re doing? Hell, maybe I’ll go right ahead and let Dad know now that you’ll be joining us for moose scouts.”
“Fuck that, Sutter.”
“I love that you think you have a choice.” My eyes flick to the mirror so I can watch it sink in. He knows I can make him.
“Oh, c’mon. Please don’t make me.”
“I’m texting Dad your uniform sizes tonight.”
“You’re an asshole, Sutter.”
“And yet, you’re still here.”
P ushing into Alderchuck after the game is sweet relief to my aching bones. Playing Vancouver’s always a bloodbath whether Alderchuck and I have anything going on or not. I don’t know how Milton doesn’t see that. I think Gina does, but now that she’s seen just how much a Sutterchuck relationship has boosted merch sales, she’s just as much Team Sutterchuck. More people are walking around in Sutter and Alderchuck jerseys over any other player on our teams.
“That’s it, spread for me, kitten. Tell, Daddy who you belong to.”
“Fuck you, Sutter.”
I chuckle into his ear. I’ve got him bent over my kitchen counter, which is usually where we start. We have a pattern. First, we stumble in the door starved for each other, needing to take long sips, mauling, pawing, and manhandling until we’re naked enough to seek relief. Once round one is over, we lose the rest of our clothes, leaving them in heaps somewhere, and I feed Alderchuck so we can have a round two without his stomach distracting him. From there, we get our fill, knowing it’ll be weeks, sometimes a month before we can touch each other again.
Letting him go this time’s gonna be harder than all the other times.
“At least tell me you’re mine, baby.”
“Yeah, I’m fucking yours, asshole.”
We’re a pile of sorry flesh after the first round, and I’m quickly engaged in a battle with my eyelids. They won’t stay open, but I don’t wanna stop looking at him. He’s out cold, his leg over mine, curls tumbled everywhere, snoring softly.
Yeah, I’m his. I’m his as much as he’s mine.
“I belong with you too, Alderchuck,” I say for practice, knowing he can’t hear me. When Casey sleeps, he turns into a rock. My eyelids flutter, and I lose the battle as sleep pulls me under.
But unlike Casey, I sleep like a guard dog. The smallest of sounds and movements wake me. My phone rings and while all he does is shift a little, I’m up and answering, my heart pounding. Nothing good ever happens at this time of night.
“Hey, Charles? Everything alright?”
“Yeah, I mean, nothing bad’s happened, but I’ve been having trouble sleeping. Sorry, I’m calling so late.”
I rub a hand over my face, slowly pulling away from Alderchuck, heading into the living room so that I can give Charles my full attention. His life’s upside down, and I get that. From the sounds of it, his mom is doing okay, but that doesn’t mean things are good. He’s a caretaker at fifteen, and I can hear it in his voice—the weight of everyone on his shoulders.
We chat for a few hours until I pull some genuine laughs from him, but once we’re off the phone, I can’t help wondering—for the gazillionth time—if I’m doing the right thing. Charles needs a real parent. Can I find him one? That’s what prompts my text to Lane.
Me
I think it’s time, Curtis.
I don’t expect a text right away, considering the time, but he’ll know what I mean. It’s time we think about getting the boys … something. I don’t know how that works if their mom is technically okay, though.
Lane
Don’t you fucking dare, Sutter. We’ve got this. Mama West is doing well.
Me
Charles isn’t.
Lane
Everyone has a bad day now and then. He’s fine.
Now I’m the one up, thinking about everything. I lie naked on my couch, turning the problem over in my head. Am I the right person to make choices for a fifteen-year-old boy and his brother anyway? Fuck, my head hurts. I pull out my phone to mindlessly scroll, but even that’s infiltrated by images and headlines about me and Casey. Sutterchuck fans want us to elope in Vegas so bad. Some of them think we already have. Others are sure we’d never set foot near each other—let alone each other’s dicks—and think the whole thing’s a PR stunt.
That sends me down a rabbit hole.
There’s a loud banging on the door. Loud enough, it could result in the likes of Alderchuck rising from his dead sleep.
Who the fuck is here so late? Huh, or I guess early. It’s approaching six am. Whoever it is has the patience of a toddler, turning the knob, jiggling it.
“Open up, Sutter!”
Fuck. Lane. He’s getting his fob privileges revoked for this. “Hang the fuck on.”
With practiced motions, I turn and click, releasing the many locks on my door. I grab his collar and yank him inside. Lane might not be a small guy, but I’m bigger and stronger. I’m a trained athlete, he vapes too much. I throw him into my apartment, easily.
“What the fuck, man?” I say.
“I came to stop you from doing something stupid.” He looks me up and down then raises a cocky Lane brow. “Or maybe you’re in the middle of it?”
Alderchuck chooses that moment to stumble from the bedroom, stretching, yawning. Naked.
“Wow, you didn’t tell me he looked like that under all the sweatpants,” Lane says.
He might be one of my oldest and best friends, but that won’t save him the beating he’s gonna get for looking at my Alderchuck.
“Go put some fucking clothes on,” I snap at Casey, even though my anger’s for Lane.
Alderchuck scowls. “I’ve had about enough of your yap when you’re with your stupid friends, Sutter.” He crosses his arms, not planning on going anywhere. “ You put some fucking clothes on.”
Lane’s enjoying my plight, especially because he—for some reason—thinks what I said meant I’ve got CPS on the way to the West’s home.
“I’m not going anywhere either. We need to talk about Charles, and we’re doing it now.”
“Who the fuck is Charles?” Alderchuck says. “Sutter, I swear to God, if you went back on our deal…”
Lane’s eyes sparkle with the revenge he wants for something I didn’t do. “You don’t know about Charles? Mitch was talking to him earlier. He does a lot of shit you don’t know about.”
Casey’s face is a knife through my gut and boy does it fucking twist. His lip trembles.
“It’s not what you think,” I say, which only makes it sound more like it’s what he thinks.
“Know what? I don’t even wanna know.” He shrugs. “Second thought, I will get dressed. I’ve gotta head out.”
Lane gets to see way too much of my man’s ass as he heads into the bedroom. I glare murder at Lane.
“He’ll be fine once you tell him. Fuck. If he leaves you over this, he isn’t worth it. You’ll thank me later.”
Goddammit. He doesn’t get it. Lane might never get it, and it’s fucking sad. I want better for him, even when he’s acting like a total dick. But I’ll have to deal with him later.
Casey’s already in a hoodie and sweats, his bare feet planted on the carpet. He’s spinning his old ball cap into place, trapping his curls with it. I grab a pair of black sweats off the floor, hopping into them like my life depends on it. It does.
“If you wanna go home, fine. I’m driving you. I’ll catch you up on everything.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t have to, Sutter. Your life is yours. Mine is mine. That’s the beauty of a situationship.”
I can’t get his face outta my head. The sad one. The heartbroken one. Even though what he believes right now isn’t true, that still happened.
Lane is a dead man.
“Wished you’d waited till I was out of your damn bed, Sutter. Seems like the fucking human thing to do, but I’m not human to you, am I?”
What the fuck? I took him to see my dad’s bike—I’ve never done that with anyone—and he’s gonna accuse me of shit like that? Yeah, I’m a dick sometimes, but no worse than he ever is. Maybe I was wrong to assume we had something.
“You can’t be fucking serious. You met my parents.” All of them, I don’t add.
“That wasn’t on purpose, Sutter, and you know it. Don’t try to use that. I know I’m nothing but a fuck toy to you, but you don’t have to rub it in my face.”
“I wasn’t rubbing it in your face. Charles is a fifteen-year-old boy from the Moose Scouts thing I do with Dad. I’m helping him through a tough time. But it’s nice to know where I stand with you.”
“Oh my God.” He adjusts his hat. “Where you stand with me? You’re un-fucking-real. Look, it’s my bad for running with what douchebag Lane said, but I stand by what I said. Feel however you want about it, but that’s my experience with us. And Sutter, I’m okay with it—mostly. Guess I’m learning I wouldn’t be fucking okay with you talking to another hook-up while I’m right fucking here?—”
“Which I didn’t do?—”
“I know, I’m just sayin’ so you can take notes. And I actually believe that you didn’t do it but …”
But he lived it for a second and it hurt him enough he’s still reeling from it. Kinda like his comment to me. He probably mostly said it because he was hurt, but in his case, he meant it. None of the shit I do makes him feel he’s anything more than a sex doll.
And he is my sex doll—he should fucking accept that part—but he’s so, so much more than that.
He closes his eyes, letting go of a long exhale. “This got fucked up fast, which is exactly why we’re not supposed to do more than fuck.” He gets in my space, pulling me to him by the waistband of my pants and then he sinks his hands inside letting his fingers claw at my bare ass cheeks. “We’re good. We’re as fine as we always are—on the verge of our next brawl. Fuck yah later, okay?”
By later he means whenever the hell we see each other next in between our crazy hockey schedules. It’s a shitty note to leave this on, but it’s gonna have to do. There’s no way in hell I’m laying my damn heart on the line after this. All the locks around my heart click back into place, relieved we didn’t let Casey in to tear us up.
He plants a quick peck on my lips. “You should punch Lane in the face for that.”
Oh, I will. “Wait, how are you getting home?” I drove him here.
“I’ll either Uber or get someone to pick me up.”
I walk him to the door where he slips past Lane and into his shoes. Lane’s smirking, probably having heard all of our conversation.
“Text me when you get to where you’re going, Alderchuck.” My feelings are all over the place. I’m kinda hurt and mad at him, I know I’ve played a hand in our fight so I’m mad at myself too, but my protective instincts feel uneasy about letting him go, and that overrides it all.
“It’s broad daylight in a high-traffic area.”
“Don’t care. Just fucking do it, Alderchuck, or I will come find your ass and spank the fuck out of it.”
I turn on Lane as soon as he’s gone. “I’m in shit because of you.”
His feet are on my coffee table and he’s aloof like the cocky shit he is. “Like I said, if he leaves you over my mouth, not worth it.”
“That’s it.” I lunge, he hops off the couch and jumps over the arm. “I don’t know what kind of bullshit you’ve got going on tonight, but gettin’ between me and Alderchuck is too far.”
Lane acts out when he’s going through shit. I’m probably the one who triggered his latest tantrum with my text. I forget sometimes. He’s Mr. Tough Guy. Mr. Nothing Ever Bothers Me Guy. But the stuff from his shit childhood haunts him, and when it comes out, he turns into a nasty asshole.
“You guys are fine.”
“We’re not. Not by a long shot.” Alderchuck’s hurt face flashes in my mind again. I never want to see that face again. I’ll pound to death whoever and whatever makes his face like that.
I finally get a grip on Lane. My knuckles crunch cheekbone. But Lane can take a punch, and he shakes it off quickly. His knee slams into my gut. Breath leaves my lungs too rapidly, sharp pain paralyzes my ribs. I roll toward him, a non-breathing boulder—cause fuck breathing right now—sweeping his legs from under him. Wham! Onto his back he goes.
It’s a long thirty seconds to get oxygen back, but I’ve been winded plenty of times. I suck the air in slowly through pursed lips. Laughter rises from the heap of Lane beside me. It’s a painstaking crawl to the couch, but I make it so that I can stare down at him. His lip is already beginning to swell, blood spilling out of the gash my knuckles made when they ripped through.
The room fills with the sounds of us catching our breath.
“Fuck, Sutter. Didja fill your hand with lead? That’s gonna bruise.”
“Ab crunches are out for me for at least a couple of days.”
Uneasy silence is the next thing to take up space between us. I don’t know what to say to him. Part of me just wants to kick him out. I should kick him out.
“Do you remember that summer we used to sneak into the community pool for a night swim?” he says.
“I remember.” You’d think I’d want to hide in my room with all the lights on after what happened, but no. I wanted to be the thing the dark was afraid of. To a kid my age, going to the pool after hours seemed brave. “We brought baseball bats, and homemade brass knuckles for protection.”
“And then we finally thought we’d have our chance to kick some ass, but it was just your mom hiding in the bushes. Fuck, your mom’s the coolest.”
We thought we were so clever, but Ma noticed me sneaking out on the first night. She figured out what I was up to but allowed it because she knew I needed to do that. We couldn’t afford therapy at the time, so that was my therapy. It was worth the risk because she felt she was losing me.
“She gave us what for.” She didn’t tell me until I was older that she’d been following us each night. Once the jig was up, she couldn’t allow it to continue. By then it was over anyway. I got more worried about my tiny mother out in the dark.
“It was one of the first times anyone gave a fuck whether I lived or died. I went with you for you, but I also went with you to stay away from the foster house I’d been shoved into.”
“I wasn’t gonna do anything yet, Lane.”
“But you were thinking about it.” He groans, sitting up, making his way onto the couch with me. “You fucked up my back, Sutter.”
“I’m gonna do a lot more than that if you ever pull that shit with Casey again.”
“He’s Casey now, is he?”
“Yeah. And more.”
He analyzes me, and nods, seeing something, I guess. But something dawns on me about him, too. “You really care about these kids. It may have started as one thing, but it’s grown into another.”
“I know what it’s like to be separated from your brothers and treated like you’ll never be anything worthwhile. But, yeah, these two wormed their way into my cold heart.”
Silence settles over us again. Has it been long enough that I can call Casey? Where the fuck is his text message? Surely, he’s home by now.
“Casey’s gonna hold a grudge for this, isn’t he?” Lane says.
“For the rest of your damn life.” My man has a hard time letting go.
“Nah. I’m charming as fuck. I’ll win him over. Bring him by some time.” Lane stands. “For now, let me handle the kids.”
“Charles called me.”
“Because you’ve got solid vibes that I may never have. It doesn’t mean he needs his life flipped upside down.”
I’d argue that Charles’s life may never have been right side up. “You’ve got till the end of the season, and then I’m taking action whether you like it or not, Lane.”
I don’t know what I’ll do, but I need to do something. Charles needs a constant source of certainty, not an ice-worn hockey player and his delinquent friend.
My phone buzzes. Alderchuck.
Kitten
Made it to Jack’s house alive, Sutter. I hope Lane rots in hell, and honestly? Right now, you too.
He’s at Jack’s. My tense muscles sigh relief, unclenching, the steeliness fading away. I knew he’d go somewhere there was someone. If my suspicion is correct, he might not consciously know how much he needs people, but his subconscious knows it. He gravitates to his people, and they know to pull him in and smother him with their version of love.
Alderchuck’s probably bad-mouthing me to Jack this very minute, but at least I know he’s taken care of. Not like I’d take care of him, but it’ll have to do. He might need a week or so to cool off after this and that’s all he gets until I’m coming for him.