Seventeen
Liem
Weak light spills through the blinds, rain tapping loudly against the windows.
It’s dim yet blue. I can’t tell what time it is or where I am.
I blink, my vision clearing to see the coffee table and TV of the living room, but when I try to move, I’m stuck.
Bri lies next to me, taking up most of the space on the wide cushions, wedging me into the few inches left. We fell asleep here?
A wine headache nags, but the memories remain clear. I kissed Bri. A lot. What was I thinking?
Apparently, I wasn’t thinking at all.
She spent who knows how long planning a night to make me happy.
Every little detail she noticed over the past few weeks.
Seeing the joy my comfort brought her made me realize she is more than my safe space.
She is my happy place. We could be sitting in the cold winter rain and I’d still feel warm with her next to me.
Then, in a thoughtless moment, I kissed her.
It felt natural for the moments I wasn’t thinking. She was an extension of my unspoken feelings, her lips mine, her tongue a sweet taste of what could be.
I try to free myself from the small space without waking her. When I climb over, one hand either side of her, my body hovering over hers, I remember something else.
Then I remember it all. We did much more than kiss.
The last time I reacted so naturally to someone, it ended up being my first time with Natalie. My first time with anyone, technically.
Had we not been drunk, would I have slept with her? Would she have wanted to sleep with me? Or does she truly see me as a friend, willing to write off sex on the couch as easily as a kiss at the movies?
I go back to my wedge, not wanting her to wake up with me on top of her again while also not wanting to leave her side. Hopefully she won’t remember.
The annoying buzz of a phone sounds against the coffee table, making her stir. The sound continues past the length for a call. It must be an alarm.
“Bri?” I whisper.
Her eyes slowly open then blink away the last of her dream. “We fell asleep?”
“We did.”
I look around for my shirt, the ghost of last night’s memories visibly growing in my pants. I pull the blanket up, hoping she won’t notice that too.
That awful buzzing is still going. “Your phone’s going off.”
“Huh?” She darts up, grabbing it from the table. “Shit, it’s almost ten. I’m late.”
“Ten? Fuck, I’m supposed to be in a meeting.”
“I’m exaggerating a little. It’s nine-forty,” Bri says, rubbing my back. “You should shower. You smell like everything.”
“Everything?”
“Yes. Like the bagel but . . . bad.” Always lightening the mood when I’m most anxious. She nudges me to get up. “I have to go on my walks. Want to have brunch after your meeting?”
“Definitely. Wait, no.” How could I forget the dreaded secret I’ve been sitting on? “I—I’m meeting with that client, then I have to take them out to dinner. I won’t be back until late.”
“Late late?”
“Maybe.”
Her lips curve into a frown. “I’ll miss you.”
Now I’m sure my face is red.
She has no idea how little I want to see them today.
The garbage who dares to call himself her ex probably won’t be there, but even the thought of seeing him in passing gives me chills.
How am I supposed to look at him and not think of Bri, imagine her kiss, her legs wrapped around my waist, and the soft moans she hummed against my lips.
How am I supposed to get last night out of my head?
“I’ll miss you too. Steal you some cake or wine?” Why did I bring up wine?
“Now you’re talking dirty to me?”
Visions of last night flash before my eyes when I blink. I stand, gaining some distance from her gravity and the urge to kiss her again.
“Do you remember anything from last night?” she asks, and I can’t tell if she’s feeling me out or if she really can’t remember.
“Most of it,” I answer hesitantly. “Do you?”
She smirks. “Only all of it.”
“That was . . .” I don’t know what to say.
“It was,” she agrees with humor. I’m not sure what that means. “This conversation will be better with cake. Go shower.”
A conversation. Hopefully that’s not all we’ll have later.
~
After my meeting to prep with Sai, I braved the subway and managed to arrive at the Finance Bros Corp offices with ten minutes to spare. Today will be the day they sign. It has to be.
My meeting with the department head, Brett, has been pushed back six different times.
I took a late lunch break at the café on the ground level and still made it back before their meeting was over.
If I didn’t need this account to stay here with Bri, I would have bailed and called Sai to explain how I’ve given up.
They’re probably running me in circles thinking I’m the nerd they used to bully in school.
Bullies or not, I’m relieved I won’t have to look at David’s face.
Finally, the heads come out of their meeting straight over to me.
“Sorry about that. The markets are unpredictable right now. Everything changes by the second. Gotta stay on your toes,” Brett explains, sounding excited that the same system keeping people from affording groceries is currently making him wealthier than before.
“No problem. Are you ready to go over our latest proposal?”
He smirks and slaps a hand against my arm. “We already did. Now come to this party with us. We’re celebrating all the money we just made, and you can celebrate us hiring you to keep that money safe.”
It takes me a moment to understand what he said. “You already signed?”
“Sure did. Now let’s go get drunk.”
My liver is going to hate me, but Sai will love me.
~
Dinner turned into a lounge and drinks with forty people—half of whom I’ve never seen before.
Every time I try to sneak off, someone pulls me into a conversation and offers me a lead on a new account, a stay in their vacation home, or a refill.
I’ve been running in circles for so long, I’ve made grooves in the floor.
After a while, I decided to give up on going home at a decent hour.
Then, of course, he shows up.
David sits in the corner of the room in a lounge chair, laughing with a small group. He’s easy enough to avoid in a crowd this size.
When I need a break from ass-kissing, I hang out by the bar, sipping a ginger ale disguised as a Moscow mule. I want to be sober when I go home to Bri again. No more missed opportunities.
My phone buzzes. A text from Bri.
A selfie of her in front of the kitchen countertop, my pour-over coffee set prepped with two mugs beside it, her teeth digging into her bottom lip while she smiles.
Bri: I’m ready for cake. Coming home soon?
My favorite person, making my favorite coffee. Even a two-inch view of her sends warmth through my veins and causes thudding in my chest.
There is nothing I want more than to leave this room and taste her lips again. The fogginess of my hangover isn’t putting me in the best headspace to process what happened between us. Maybe
the universe is keeping me in this room for a reason. Saving me from dry humping her and coming in my pants again? Coming somewhere else instead?
“Hey, tech guy.” David appears beside me like an apparition.
I turn off my screen in a rush and put my professional mask back on. “Hey.”
“It seems congratulations are in order.” He lifts his glass toward me. “I heard you got the contract.”
“Oh, yes. Thanks.”
“Of course. Always love to see a brother win.”
I hate to appreciate his sentiment, but I do. We tap glasses and take a sip. His presence is oppressive when he’s so close. Encouraging yet abrasive in the way he carries a conversation, hyping me up while he likely doesn’t remember my name.
“You’re being a little antisocial for someone who’s supposed to be celebrating,” he says.
“Sorry, I was . . .” Lie, idiot. “Sending a text real quick.”
“Does your boss make you smile like that?” he asks. “Or do you have a little boo thang?”
“I do,” I say. It’s half a lie.
“Trying to sneak away to go see her? Or him. I don’t want to make assumptions.”
As if there’s nothing in between. I try to take the high road but only make it halfway there. “Her. And yeah, she’s begging me to come home so we can do more of what we were doing last night. And this morning.” Stretching the truth doesn’t make it a full lie, right?
“Okay. I didn’t know you got down like that,” he says with fuckboy pride. “How long have you been together?”
Why, David? Is there a time limit on how long it’s okay to lie about fucking over your girlfriend? “It’s new. We only met about two months ago. What about you?”
“Nah, not me,” he says to my confusion. “Just broke up with mine two months ago too.”
I stare at his profile, waiting for his math to make sense. He can’t possibly think Bri was still his girl, considering he posted that sonogram picture the next day. Or, what? Did he break it off with the side piece the same week?
My lip twitches toward a sneer at the mere thought of him claiming Bri in any way. “That sucks,” I say. “What happened?”
One of his shoulders raises in a shrug. “You know how it goes. Sometimes you don’t know you have a good thing ’til you go and ruin it.”
The opportunity stares me in the face until I take it. “How’d you ruin it?”
His gaze falls, a flicker of remorse crossing his face, then he looks back at me with a practiced finance bro sales smile. “That’s a long story, tech guy.”
Don’t say it. Don’t say—“I have time.”
He laughs before taking a swig from his tumbler. “I thought I was missing something, but when I went looking for it, I realized I had everything I needed all along. And now I have nothing.”
Bri is everything, I get it, but now he has nothing? Be so fucking for real.
What happened with the other woman and his baby?
Did something happen, or does he not care?
Even though I wish him the worst, I hope he didn’t have to go through what I did with Natalie.
More specifically, I hope his side piece didn’t have to go through that.
David doesn’t seem to give a shit about either one of them if he’s still this caught up on Bri.
“Do you think she’s the one? Your girl. What’s her name?” he asks, giving me one hell of an opportunity to ruin his night.
Bri doesn’t need me to defend her honor or get revenge by making him jealous, but after months of having to see this asshole, I want this for me. Fuck it.
“Bri,” I say, then add an extra nail in his coffin. “Short for Ambrielle.”
David’s chin lifts; whatever trace of amusement he had is gone from his face. “That’s a unique name.”
“It is. She’s amazing. Smart, sexy, kind. She’s . . . everything.” Nondescript yet true. I think of something worse to say to piss him off more. “It’s too soon to know for sure, obviously, but I feel like she’s it for me. She’s the kind of woman you’d be stupid to let go.”
The muscles in his jaw twitch. He’s mad mad.
David fumes in silence. Finally, an interaction with him I won’t be afraid to share with Bri. Telling her how I made him jealous will lessen the blow of admitting how long I’ve been avoiding telling her at all.
“I should stop being antisocial now. It was great seeing you again,” I lie one last time.
“Same,” he mutters. His face says the opposite. “Tell Bri I said hi.”
Don’t worry, I won’t.