3. Maddox
MADDOX
Five Months Ago
I stand off to the side of my living room with my arms crossed, watching as Doc checks Lennon over with my fat, lazy bulldog sitting guard at her feet. Doc has worked for my dad for years and understands the need for discretion. And for the right amount of money, he doesn’t hesitate to make a house call in the middle of the night, snowstorm be damned. The two speak in hushed tones I can’t quite hear while her eyes keep straying to mine. It’s as if she’s making sure I’m still here. Like she’s scared I’ll leave. Or maybe just scared.
And that right there... the thought of her scared.
Fuck. I hate that.
Hate that I wasn’t there to protect her.
Hate that even after years of not seeing this woman, that’s still where my mind goes. And now she’s sitting in my condo an entire continent away from where I last saw her. From where she’s supposed to be happy with her preppy douchebag of a duke.
Lennon fucking Windsor in my condo.
Not where I thought my night was gonna go.
Everything about this woman is delicate and utterly feminine. From the long lean lines of her body to the way her waist nips in and her hips flare out... She’s the face of every fucking wet dream I’ve had for five years, and her creamy skin would turn a flaming shade of red darker than even her hair if she knew. She’s beautiful, and she knows it... She owns it. And since the day we met, there was something about her that’s brought out every single protective instinct I’ve ever had.
She used to be full of fire and light, burning brightly for the world to see. So fucking magnetic, you couldn’t look away. Lord knows I never could. But now... now that light has somehow dimmed, and I fucking hate it.
I shouldn’t give a shit. It’s been years since the last time we were together, but that doesn’t matter one bit. She’s always been the one who got away. The one thing I’ve regretted not going after. The only thing I didn’t fight for. But she’s also always been the one person who pissed me off like no one else ever could—because she’s the one who walked away. The one who begged me not to chase. Not to follow. The one who asked me to forget.
Like that was ever going to happen.
But for her, I’d try.
Maybe one day it’ll work.
I watch the way she clings to the dark-blue blanket wrapped around her delicate shoulders and want to shake her. Who wears a silk dress and heels in the middle of a snowstorm? And who ditches her security when she does it?
Lennon Windsor, that’s who.
After a few more minutes, Doc picks up the cup of hot tea from the end table and hands it to her. Lennon’s hands shake as she accepts it, but she sips it like a good girl.
Doc looks satisfied before he catches my eye and nods his head toward the door so I’ll follow.
I rest my hand on the door, making sure he understands he’s not leaving until he fills me in. Pretty sure he already knew that though. “Is she okay?”
Doc’s glasses slide down his nose as he looks back at the couch and grins.
Yeah... Lennon has that effect on people.
She pulls you in and charms the hell out of you without even realizing she’s doing it.
“The princess is shaken up, but she’s fine. I’d feel better if she’d let us get a scan, just to be safe, but that’s just my old age wanting to make sure a young woman is fine. Do I think it’s really needed—no, I don’t. My professional opinion is that poor girl has had a hell of a night and a hell of a scare. Just watch her tonight, and if anything changes, call me.”
The knot in my chest loosens with his words, and I offer him my hand. “Thanks for coming out in the snow.”
The old man smiles. “I wondered what it would look like when the Beneventi principe finally fell. Guess I’ve seen it now.”
“Whatever, old man. Don’t fall on the ice and keep this between us, got it?” I pull his hand in and squeeze a little harder than necessary, and that fucking grin grows.
“No one but your dad will know, Maddox.”
I drop his hand and open the door. “Understood.”
My father’s already aware. I learned a long fucking time ago it was better to clue Sam Beneventi in before he found things out from other sources. And when your dad runs one of the most powerful crime families in the country, there’re always other sources trying to use your information to get on his good side. He may not have raised my brothers and me to take over the family business, but he raised us to respect it and its ways.
I lock and bolt the door behind Doc once he’s gone, then cross the room until I’m in front of Lennon and Meatball, who’s now curled up next to her with his brown and white bowling ball of a head resting in her lap, sleeping peacefully. Lucky fucker. “How are you feeling, piccolo principessa ?”
Long black lashes kiss her cheeks as she blinks up at me with wide eyes that would put the greenest emerald to shame. “I feel like I’ve told you about a hundred times I hate when you call me that.”
She has... but she lies. She loves it. Always has.
I ignore the taunt and sit next to her, careful not to get too close, even if I want to. A part of me wants to do more than that, but I beat that motherfucker back and lock it away in a basement. She’s probably scared and tired, and somewhere packed away in my cold, dead heart, I know that. “So you wanna tell me why you’re really in Kroydon Hills?”
“I already told you?—”
“Yeah, I heard you. You’re here to see Gracie. I call bullshit. If you were just here to see Gracie, your trip would have been planned. Maria would have been with you, and Grace’s husband would have picked you up from the airport. Do they even know you were coming?” I stretch my arms along the back of the couch until my fingers hover over her soft, red hair. “What’s got you running, Lennon?”
“Who says I’m running, Maddox?” She sips her tea, and my jaw clenches as her engagement ring catches in the light.
“I didn’t hear a denial...” Fuck, this would be easier if I wasn’t focused on another man’s ring on her fucking finger. If a diamond can cut glass, I wonder if it could slit another man’s throat...
“Whatever.” She rolls those pretty eyes and turns her body to face me, leaning more into my hold than she probably meant to. And a years’-old spark of electricity hums to life between us. One that’s spent half a decade lying latent. “I needed to get away for a little bit, and I haven’t met the babies yet, so I thought I’d come surprise Grace. There. I admit it. I’m a shitty friend.” She throws her hands in the air and blows out a breath of frustration and maybe guilt. “Happy now?”
“You’re not a shitty friend. You could have flown to a private island and hidden out with a margarita in your hand and no tan lines for a few days.” Now that’s a pretty picture I’d like to see. “And there wouldn’t have been snow or deer either. But you didn’t. You came to see Grace.” I give in to the urge and wrap a lock of soft hair around my finger, tugging gently. “What had you running, princess?”
“A lot of people call me that, but the only time it sounds like a sneer is when it’s falling from your lips,” she counters. “And I wasn’t running. I just didn’t feel like dealing with everyone for a few days.” She holds up her phone, and her lips tilt up, and the power behind her pretty smile nearly takes my breath away. “And I just convinced Maria to give me three days without saying a word to my family, so there’s that.”
“She’s probably scared she’ll lose her job.”
Lennon’s fingers dig into Meatball’s fur as she scratches behind his ears, and I swear the dog smiles between snores. “Maybe. But I wouldn’t let that happen.”
I watch as she rubs her hand over my lazy dog’s head, and that damn ring might as well be bathed in a neon fucking light. “You’re still wearing his ring.”
Her beautiful face flames a crimson red as she looks at her hand with devastation locked behind her eyes, and fuck if that doesn’t do some serious damage. I can handle tired Lennon and annoyed Lennon. I can even handle scared Lennon. But broken... I haven’t left her alone for years to see her broken. Not when I would have done anything in my power to have kept her whole. “I don’t have a choice.”
She’s a goddamn broken record. I’ve heard that same sentence so many times.
“When’s the wedding?” I ask like a masochist who likes the fucking pain. And maybe I do. Why else would I still care?
I’m not sure she even realizes she’s doing it, but she spins her ring round and round on her finger. Like it’s a foreign object... still . After all these years. “We’ll announce next month that it will be the following May.”
Damn.
I’ve taken punches from MMA champions that have done less damage.
“Does he treat you right?”
“I hardly ever see him outside of events we’re required to attend together. I live my life in London and have no idea what he’s doing back home.” Lennon bristles, looking as regal as I’ve ever seen her look before she drops the front with a sad smile. “Is this really what you want to talk about?” She brings her bare feet up onto the couch and tucks her pink polished toes under my legs. Guess she’s still sensitive about her dancer’s feet.
Like any man would care if her feet are pretty or not.
“How about you tell me what you’ve been up to? Like where are your roommates? Do you live here alone now?”
I look at the penthouse through her eyes and wonder what she sees. At one point, five of us lived here. But not now. “Nah. Not yet. I have one roommate left, but they’re gone for the weekend.”
“Did you ever finish designing your dream house? The one you were working on... Maybe put that architecture degree of yours to good use?”
“I did.” Pride settles in my chest, remembering the first time she and I talked about my plans. Lennon was the only person I’d told back then. “I bought the land a few years ago and broke ground last fall. It’s under construction now. Should be done mid-summer.” I pull her feet into my lap and dig my thumb into her arch until she moans.
Fuck, that sound...
At this rate, there’s no way this ends well.
It can’t.
“That’s not fair,” she murmurs and rests her head on my other arm on the back of the couch. “I can’t think when you’re doing that.”
“Whoever told you I fight fair lied, Lennon.” I only ever fought fair for her because she begged me to, but telling this woman no wasn’t something I could ever do.
Lennon leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees, bringing her so fucking close, I can smell the mint in her shampoo as her long hair falls in pretty waves over her shoulders. “How’s your family?”
Damn, she smells good.
I feel like we’re moving pieces across a chess board with the strategic way we’re feeling each other out. Both protecting our queen.
Strategic.
“Good. Caitlyn’s pregnant.” I watch as her eyes double in size.
“Your little sister? Oh my... How did your dad handle that?”
“Yeah. He didn’t handle it well.” Pop doesn’t ever handle something being out of his control well. Sure as shit not his baby girl getting pregnant before she got married. I think about the fucking chaos my family’s been through this year and all the ways I made that shit worse. “Callen’s the father.”
“Your best friend?” she gasps, and there goes my mind, right back to all the other ways I’d like to make her gasp for breath.
I should have taken her to her hotel.
This was a bad idea.
“Dad wasn’t the only one who struggled with the news.”
“I guess so. Callen and you were thick as thieves. How did that go?”
“Not great at first, but we’re working on it,” I admit.
She nods as she takes that bomb-drop in. “Wow. When’s she due?”
“Next month.” I switch my fingers to her other foot and watch her eyes close again. This woman is so damn responsive. She’s also dangerous, and there aren’t many things I consider dangerous. “How about you? How are Atticus and Rhys?”
Lennon’s shoulders relax at the mention of her brothers. “Well... after Mom’s death, Rhys had a bit of a reckoning. Being next in line to the throne is very different from being second in line. The weight is different. But he’s holding it well. He doesn’t smile as much as he used to, but then again, we all have our parts to play for the crown, and this is his. And Atticus... well, he’s doing his thing. I’m not sure exactly what that is, but it makes him happy, so I don’t question it. I’m pretty sure he’s putting his brain power to good use as one of Rhys’s top advisers, much to Grandfather’s dismay. He doesn’t really take Atticus seriously. Which I think is part of my brother’s evil plan. The less people expect of you, the less you have to do. When Mornea gets to be too much for Atticus, he’ll come stay with me for a few days and fuck his way through the dancers in my company. The girls and the guys. He’s not picky.”
My proper little princess loves to surprise me with her dirty mouth.
“And how about you, Lennon? Are you happy?” My chest tightens as the words hang heavy between us. In all my adult life, I’ve cared about exactly one woman, and she’s sitting here on my couch, with another man’s ring on her fucking finger. Let her at least be happy.
“I’m happy right now.” She reaches out and grabs my face, and I’m not sure if she’s trying to convince herself or me. Either way, that fucking ring might as well be burning my fucking skin.
“Don’t.” I grab her wrists and hold her there. Not sure if I’m pulling her closer or pushing her away.
Lennon ignores the warning in my voice and traces the lines of my face with her thumbs. I know I need her to stop, but fuck if I want her to. “It was always so easy between us, Maddox,” she sighs softly.
“It was never easy, princess. You were always his,” I remind her, but I’m lying. To her and myself.
“I’ve never been his...” she whispers, and there’s the lie.
I know she means it. I know she thinks that’s true. And in some ways, it is. But that fucking ring on her finger is still there. And that goddamned wedding date still looms. “I hate him. I hate my life. I don’t even like ballet anymore. It’s just a means to an end. As long as I’m performing in London, I can live there and have some semblance of freedom... from my family. From the crown. From Monty.”
Red blurs my vision at the mention of his name.
“Don’t, Lennon?—”
She ignores my sharp words and climbs into my lap, framing my face with her hands. “I’ve missed you, Madman.”
Fuck...
“What are you doing, Lennon?” I groan but pull her closer instead of pushing her away.
She drops her forehead to mine. “What I should have been doing all along.”
“You said no. You turned me down. You fucking begged me to walk away, Lennon. Walking away from you once was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Don’t ask me to do this.” Christ. I’ve never been able to say no to this beautiful girl.
“My memories of those nights with you are what have gotten me through the past five years. But we...” She nibbles her lip, and I know what she’s thinking. I can read her mind and her body better than I can read myself. Time and distance haven’t faded a fucking thing between us. “Maybe this is why I’m here. The universe’s way of putting me where I need to be. I know the hell I’m going home to after this weekend. Give me one more memory to take with me. Give me this weekend, Maddox. Give me memories to last me the rest of my life. Memories I can have for when that’s all I’m left with.”
She pulls back and rubs her soft thumb under my eye. “Please.”