16. Maddox
MADDOX
I walk my mother to the door that night after everyone else has left. And I do mean everyone. Half my fucking family has been here today. If I had to hear one more comment about buying furniture, I was going to throw them all out. Not really, because they were all here to help. But man... it was tempting.
Mom turns before walking through the door and holds my face in her hands. “The boy who made me a mommy is having a baby... I’m not sure I was ready for that.”
“That makes two of us, Ma.” I smile, and her eyes fill with emotion. “Thanks for everything you did today.”
“You’ll see there’s nothing in the world you wouldn’t do for your children’s happiness, Maddox. From the very first time you hear their heartbeat through the rest of their lives, they’ll come first. Always . Every day. You’re going to be an incredible father. But I’d be remiss not to mention you don’t have to be a husband to be a father.”
Her words land with a solid hit, as she intended. “It’s complicated, Mom.”
“Love always is, sweet boy. And I have no doubt that girl’s life is more complicated than most. I just hope you know what you’re doing.” She pulls my head down to her and kisses my forehead, then lets go. “And when you’re ready to deal with whoever hurt her, promise me you’ll talk to your father first.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie, but this isn’t the kind of thing we’ve been raised to discuss with her.
“Yes, you do. Don’t ever forget I was able to handle myself long before I married your father. And you wouldn’t be the man we raised you to be if you didn’t know exactly what I meant. But like I said, promise me you’ll speak to your father.”
I nod without saying anything.
Plausible deniability.
“Love you, Mom.”
“I love you, sweetheart. Don’t fuck this up, okay? I like her.” She waits for me to agree before leaving, and my heart squeezes because I’m pretty sure all I’ve done is fuck this up for years.
Once the door is locked, I expect to find Lennon and Meatball tucked into the corner of the couch, but the couch is empty, and the room is quiet. I check outside before making a loop around the first floor but come up empty-handed before taking the steps two at a time upstairs, where I hear her crying.
One day, I’m going to make it so this woman never has to cry again.
The door to my bedroom is open, and Lennon is sitting on the center of my bed, her legs crossed and Meatball in her lap with his big head nuzzled against her stomach. “Lennon... What’s wrong?”
I cross the room as she wipes her face.
“Sorry, it’s just been a lot to take in today.” She pushes her hair behind her ears, and her mask slides into place. The one she uses to hide behind. The one I fucking hate because Lennon should never have to hide. “Your family is pretty great, Beneventi.”
I kick off my sneakers and sit down next to her.
Does my dog come say hi to me?
No. The snoring, farting, lazy little fucker stays firmly planted in Lennon’s lap.
Pretty sure he’s protecting her and the baby.
Can a dog sense a pregnancy?
Good dog.
I’ll have to get him some extra treats this week.
“The family can be a lot, but they mean well.” I grip the back of her neck with my hands and massage her tight muscles. “They’ll make this happen. Just wait and see. It’ll be everything you need it to be. I promise.”
“Mmmm...” she hums deep in her throat and drops her head foreword, giving me a better angle. “You always were good with your hands.”
“You’re setting me up with that one, principessa .”
“Don’t even think about it,” she warns. “I’m pretty sure we make better friends than we do lovers, Maddox.”
“Not sure I agree with you on that.” Just hearing the word lover coming out of her pretty mouth sends my imagination in all sorts of depraved directions. “We were never just friends, Lennon.”
“Yes, we were,” she snaps. “For years, that’s all we were. Then you had to mess it all up by proposing.”
“Think of all the heartache you’d have saved us if you’d just said yes back then.” It’s the first time either of us have mentioned that night. The one where she asked me to leave. The one where I did what she asked, too young and too stupid to see what was right in front of me. Too fucked over my own hurt pride to fight for what I knew was mine.
I won’t make that mistake again.
“We were always more,” I remind her.
“Can we please not do this tonight?” she pleads as she reaches for the remote and drops it in my lap. “Want to watch a movie?”
I take the hint for now, not wanting to push her after the day she’s had, and pick up the remote. “Sure. What do you want to watch?”
“How do you feel about The Avengers ?”
* * *
Lennon
M onday morning, Grace and I meet for breakfast, and I should have known better than to be worried. She sits across from me at a cute little café in town, staring in disbelief with a gigantic smile on her face as I finally finish dumping my entire story on her. “I can’t believe you never told me.”
I push my pancakes around the plate. “I don’t know... I guess I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s all just so messy.”
Gracie reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “Friends do messy. We don’t run away from it. We don’t run away from each other.”
“You’re the only friend I’ve ever had, Gracie.” The admission should be humiliating, but somehow, it’s freeing instead. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too. But now you’re here, and you’re marrying Maddox. I can’t believe it. Maddox Beneventi, officially off the market. The women of Kroydon Hills will be weeping in the streets.”
She doesn’t know how much that single statement stings, and I don’t tell her either, like an insecure cow.
“And you’re going to have a baby. That’s insane. I’m so excited for you both. Being a mother is the most rewarding, exhausting, frightening thing in the world. But I wouldn’t change a minute of it. Especially if you’re only having one. Lucky brat.”
“Good grief, I can’t even believe how you handle it all. You’re a boss babe, Grace. I want to be you when I grow up,” I tell her, meaning every word.
“You’re going to be better. You’re going to be you.” She smiles and signals for the check. “Now let’s go find you a wedding dress.”
* * *
E verly Wilder is one of the premier wedding dress designers in the country, and luckily for me, she’s Grace’s twin sister. Maddox’s sister also happens to be one of her designers, which means Everly has promised she’ll do whatever it takes to get me in a dress fit for a princess in four weeks.
“Okay, these are the samples I pulled,” Caitlin announces as Everly circles me in the center of the room. She looks from me to the ballroom-style gowns Caitlin pulled but shakes her head.
“I think we should go with formfitting,” Everly announces, but I can tell Grace isn’t sure.
“What if she pops?” Grace asks. “She’s right around that twenty-week point. It’s going to happen any day now.”
“I looked like a cow by then,” Caitlin announces. “Lucky bitch.”
“Oh please. I’ve carried twins and triplets. Talk to me when you’ve basically had a hockey team skating on your bladder.”
“I want her to pop,” Everly announces, and I raise my hand up.
“Umm... could someone explain popping to me, please?”
All three women swing their heads my way, like I just asked the stupidest question in the world. Maybe I have.
“You know... popped.” Grace motions with her hand in front of her stomach. “Right now, you’re stomach is still flat, but soon, you’re going to look like you’ve got a beach ball hidden under your skin.”
“And it’s going to feel like you’re carrying the weight of a bowling ball,” Caitlin agrees.
“Oh...” I say quietly, feeling fairly dumb.
Maybe I should get a book. I should have known that, shouldn’t I?
My mom and I didn’t have the closest relationship. It was nothing like Grace and her mom or Caitlin and Amelia. But it was ours, and I feel like, in this moment, I can’t help but miss her more than usual.
“Listen,” Everly says as she walks over to a display on the far side of the room and pulls down a gorgeous, white, silk formfitting dress with long, lace bell sleeves. “The world is going to know you’re pregnant soon enough. Celebrate it. Don’t try to hide it. You’re beautiful. You have a stunning figure and tits and an ass I’d die to have again. Flaunt them. Drive Madman wild.”
Her last statement has me blushing furiously.
It’s easy to forget how close they all are with Maddox.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to grow up like that.
With a group of friends so close, you consider them family. But for as long as I’ve known Grace, that’s always how she’s looked at her friends. As family. Most of my family doesn’t even feel that safe to me. But these women... this group of people... they’ve always been that safe place to land... to fall around each other.
Everly holds the dress in front of me and points me to the dressing room. “Come on, Merida. Let’s try this one on.”
“Merida?” I cock a brow.
“You know... the Disney princess with the crazy red hair.”
“I never really watched Disney movies,” I admit, and the ladies gasp. “I mean, if you think about it, I was already living my own version. Mine just wasn’t supposed to have a happy ending.” I duck my head down and let my hair fall in front of my face, covering my bruise, and walk into the dressing room.
Five minutes later, Everly has me standing on a dais, pinned to within an inch of my life. “Oh, you are stunning.”
She turns me to face the mirror, and I fight the urge to cry.
It’s beautiful
“Oh God. You hate it.” She looks horrified.
“No.” I shake my head. “It’s beautiful. I just wish my mom were here. Or that my family could be here. It’s just the hormones. Ignore me, please... I’m so sorry,” I tell her as the tears fall.
Gracie takes my hand in hers. “I’m sorry, Lennon.”
“Don’t be. I’m just emotional. This is perfect, Everly. Thank you so much,” I manage to tell her as I calm myself. “Do you think it will still fit in four weeks?”
“Just let me worry about that. We’ll fit you again in three weeks, then tweak it a few days before the wedding. It will fit like a glove. Now go eat some ice cream and get me a baby bump to feature,” she laughs.
“First flowers,” Grace announces.
Right. We’re headed to the florist next.
“Um, Everly... How do I get out of this without the pins ripping me to shreds?” I ask, concerned about getting blood on the beautiful white silk.
“Carefully,” Caitlin deadpans, and Everly shakes her head.
“Come on. I’ll help you.”
* * *
G race and I did stop for ice cream before we walked down the street to the flower shop, where two beautiful blondes greet us. Wow. There must be something in the water here. “Gracie,” the younger of the two excitedly calls out. “What are you doing here?”
“Hey, Lexi.” She kisses the younger one’s cheek, then looks confused as she turns to the woman who looks about my age. “Dillan... what are you doing here? I thought you were working with your sister?”
Dillan clips the stem of a beautiful white rose and adds it to a bucket. “It’s definitely better for my relationship with my sister if we don’t work together.”
“I could see that,” Grace muses. “Well, ladies, this is my friend, Lennon. Lennon, these are two of my beautiful cousins, Lexi and Dillan.”
“Nice to meet you,” I offer and look around as the ladies talk, until I hear Dillan choke.
“Holy shit. You’re engaged to Maddox Beneventi?”
I turn slowly—because I swear to God if this woman is about to tell me she slept with him, I might use those pruning shears to cut her.
Damn. That went violent fast.
I purse my lips and smile. “I am, and Grace said this was the best place in town to come for flowers.”
“It is,” Grace adds. “Is Genevieve here?”
“I’ll be there in a second,” a woman calls out from the back room before popping out from behind the curtain. “Sorry. I’ve got a big event we’re prepping for tomorrow night.” She wipes her hands on her apron, then offers me her hand. “Hi, I’m Genevieve. What can I help you with?”
“Umm...” I look around at the roomful of women, and my anxiety races. “Well, I’m getting married in four weeks, and we need to order flowers.”
The beautiful brunette’s smile lights up the room. “Great. How about you have a seat over here and tell me about your vision.”
“Well, it’s four weeks from now, so I’m not sure how picky I can be,” I admit as I feel Lexi and Dillan’s eyes boring holes into my head.
“Okay, let’s start with your budget then,” Genevieve offers patiently.
“There’s no budget,” I tell her, not sure what I’m doing. This is awful.
“That’s not a problem. How small is no budget? I want to make sure I work within your range.” She jots something down on a notepad, then looks up at me, hesitant.
“Oh... that’s not what I meant. I meant money isn’t an issue. I don’t have a cap. It just needs to be over-the-top and beautiful.”
“Fit for royalty,” Gracie adds with a wink.
Genevieve clears her throat. “I can work with that. Do you have a color preference?”
I look at Grace and relax, confident for the first time all day. “Pinks, blues, and whites.”
Finally, something in my wheelhouse. Color pallets I can do.