CHAPTER TWO DORMANT
SHAARR
Pain was simpler than longing. Pain had location. It could be measured by movement. Ignored during battle.
Managed afterward. Longing spread everywhere. By sunset, my receptor had turned Rowan's absence into pressure beneath every plate surrounding my chest. I traveled farther west.
The signal remained. I crossed the old hunting ridge. Still there. Descended through black-vine territory. Still there.
Finally I stopped on an abandoned watch platform and let the rain strike my armor. The forest smelled right. Wet bark. Mineral soil.
Night predators beginning to wake. No antiseptic. No human skin. No Rowan.
My body knew the difference. I pressed one claw against the receptor plate.
"Enough."
It answered with heat. Twenty-six rotations of silence and now it had opinions. I almost respected the cruelty. A branch flexed behind me.
Vorrn. I did not turn.
"If you brought Juno, I will throw both of you from the platform."
"He is with Renn."
"Good."
"Also he said you would threaten that."
I looked over my shoulder. Vorrn landed lightly. Bonding had changed him. Not softened.
Humans used that word too often when dangerous men learned patience. He was still capable of opening an armored transport with his hands. He simply had more reasons not to. His gaze moved to the cracks beneath my claws.
"Pain."
"Observation."
"Answer."
"Manageable."
"Meaning bad."
"Meaning manageable."
He crouched by the platform edge. I hated that he knew how to wait. He had learned it from Juno. Eventually I said, "Why are you here?"
"Western tremors."
That got my attention.
"What tremors?"
"Three nursery paths reported subsurface movement."
"Burrowers?"
"Too deep."
"When?"
"Yesterday."
"And you waited?"
"I was told five minutes ago."
Acceptable. Barely.
"Anything breached?"
"No."
I started toward the exit. Vorrn remained where he was.
"Your receptor."
"Not relevant."
"It affects judgment."
"No."
"You taught me otherwise."
"I taught you to recognize influence. Not surrender authority to it."
"Then recognize it."
I turned. He met my eyes without challenge. Infuriating.
"Rowan asked about your condition."
The signal inside my chest changed. I hated that he could probably smell it.
"What condition?"
"Pain."
"Why?"
"He is a medic."
Only that. Relief arrived. Then something embarrassingly close to disappointment. I wanted to cut both emotions out. Vorrn's lateral eyes brightened.
"Do not."
"I said nothing."
"You do not need words."
"Bonding has made you intolerable."
"Juno agrees."
At least the human retained judgment. I moved past him. Vorrn said, "You should tell me about the first one." Everything stopped.
Rain filled the silence.
"You heard enough."
"I heard 'once per lifetime.'"
"And?"
"And your receptor is open."
I faced him.
"There was another."
Vorrn became completely still. No triumph. No curiosity. Good.
"Name?"
"Kael."
I had not spoken it aloud in twenty-six rotations. The forest seemed to recognize the sound. Red armor through wet branches. A laugh during a hunt.
Three days promised. Two days lived. Vorrn lowered himself to sit. Not closer.
He had learned.
"Central?"
"Yes."
"Completed?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because we had time."
The answer tasted bitter. Vorrn understood enough not to ask what that meant.
"He died."
"Yes."
"Conflict?"
"Central nursery breach."
My receptor tightened. Not for Kael. It could not. That was part of the obscenity. The place where Kael once existed inside my biology now answered someone else. A human.
"After his death," I said, "the receptor remained active for seven days."
Vorrn's jaw plates closed.
"Then?"
"Nothing."
"Ever?"
"Until Rowan."
He looked toward the rain.
"Archive says one activation."
"Yes."
"Archive may be wrong."
"Or damaged tissue may be firing incorrectly."
"Possible."
I looked at him. He had surprised me again.
"No argument?"
"I have no data."
Juno had infected him completely. Terrible.
"Your Preybridge injury is near receptor pathways," he continued. "Human weapons damaged neural systems. We don't know what that changes."
"So activation may be meaningless."
"Maybe."
Relief. Immediate. Cowardly. Then Vorrn added, "Or Rowan may simply be compatible." I growled.
"There you are."
He stood.
"Test it."
"No."
"Why?"
"Because the human is the test."
"He deserves information too."
I started to answer. Stopped. He was right. I hated him for it.
"I will not ask him to relieve receptor pain."
"No one said you should."
"I will not complete a bond for survival."
"Good."
"I survived losing Kael."
"Yes."
"I can survive this."
Vorrn's expression changed. Not pity. Worse. Understanding.
"Those are not the same thing."
"Pain is pain."
"No."
I bared my fangs. He continued anyway.
"Kael did not choose to leave you."
"Stop."
"Rowan is alive."
"Stop."
"He can decide."
I crossed the distance between us. Vorrn did not move.
"Do not use Kael to make a point."
His voice lowered.
"Then stop using him to make yours."
That struck. Hard. Accurate. I stepped away before anger became action. The platform trembled.
Both of us froze. Not rain. Not wind. Something deep below.
I dropped one palm against the living wood. The vibration rolled through roots. Slow. Massive.
Wrong. Vorrn crouched beside me.
"Same as the nursery reports?"
"Stronger."
Another tremor. West to east. Toward the newer human road. I stood.
Whatever waited below the roots was real. Present. Something I could fight. Better.
"Get the western guardians."
Vorrn nodded.
"And Shaarr?"
"What?"
"The human."
My receptor burned. I stared into the dark forest.
"Leave him out of it."
At that moment, I meant it.