Chapter 14 #2
She ached to slap him. She did not. “I think that night precluded any possibility of my ever falling in love with Sean.”
“Why?”
“Why?” She was in disbelief.
“Yes, I asked why. The past needs to remain dead and buried, Virginia, and very shortly you will be free to go where you please. You were very sad to leave Askeaton—and Sean.”
Virginia hesitated, still incredulous, hurt and angry. He is not indifferent to you. It is a sham, a pretense.
She couldn’t believe Sean, but dear God, she wanted to. But if he cared at all, why would he be doing this? Why would he be pushing her toward his brother? Softly staring at him, she said, “There is magic at Askeaton, Devlin. In the five months I have been there, it has come to feel like my home.”
His gray eyes were impossible to read. Then his mouth twisted into a parody of a smile. “Well, that is good. Because when the ransom has been delivered, you may return there happily, if that is what you wish.”
“Is it guilt?” she asked. “Is it guilt that drives you now? Do you think to have your brother clean up the mess of your making?”
“That’s enough,” he said harshly.
“That’s it, isn’t it?” she cried, stunned.
“It’s guilt! You have some heart after all!
You said you were sorry—Sean says you are sorry—you even said you deserved that slap.
So you know you have behaved monstrously.
But you would never offer marriage—not that I wish you to!
” she added hastily. “But if Sean did, why, how convenient for you! You could forget there was a day when you became the kind of man your mother would not recognize, that your mother would—”
He seized her by both shoulders. “Enough.”
She tensed, the grasp of his large hands causing her heart to slam, and for one moment, her body shifted toward him, expecting him to pull her close and kiss her. Instantly, her mind told her otherwise and she pulled back. As instantly, his gaze plunging to her mouth, he let her go.
“Never bring up the subject of Lady de Warenne again,” he warned.
She hesitated. “I met her.”
He paled.
Oh-ho, this was interesting indeed! “She is a very kind woman. I liked her very much.” Virginia became sly.
“I am going to kill Sean,” he said.
She grabbed his arm, but he was too close, too male, and it was not a good idea, so she dropped her hand quickly. “It was not Sean’s fault! They came calling as they had heard of our engagement.”
“Our engagement?” he gasped.
Virginia stared and then she had to try very hard not to smile. She had thrown him off balance, and God, it felt so damn good. So she did not reply; far more slyly, she waited.
“We are not engaged,” he choked out.
She was enjoying this moment. She wished to engrave it in stone. She smiled and shrugged, refusing to clear up the misunderstanding.
“Jesus, the people,” he said. “It must be all over the village, the town, that you are my fiancée.”
“I suppose,” she murmured.
“Why are you grinning like the Cheshire cat?” he snapped. “We both know I fabricated that story to save your pretty little neck.”
He liked her neck? “You find my neck pretty?”
“Is that what they still think? My mother and Adare?”
She sighed. “No, Devlin, that is not what they think.”
The coach became very silent, very tense. She looked at him. His silver eyes were hard and unwavering. She shivered. “Sean chose his words with care.” Then she gave up. “Well, what do you expect! To take your blood enemy’s niece hostage and fool your family, who live but a dozen miles away?”
He cursed.
“This is all of your own making,” she reminded him sweetly.
He gave her a dark glance. “The sooner I break Eastleigh, the better. The sooner you are gone, the better,” he added as darkly.
His words did hurt, when she knew better, and they also somehow dismayed her.
Carefully, she said, “You are right. And when I am ransomed, I am going home to Sweet Briar—I can hardly wait.” But the odd truth was that she hadn’t thought very much about her home in these past few months.
Memories that had once been a lifeline had become vague and distant, replaced by the day-to-day existence she had shared at Askeaton with Devlin and then Sean. “If it still exists,” she added grimly.
Once at sea, its main sails unfurled, the Defiance took off, fighting the rain and the sea, tacking across the wind to the south.
Virginia did not like being back in his cabin.
His presence was everywhere, powerful, heavy and overwhelming.
She sat down at the dining table, finally overcome with confusion and the gravest of doubt.
A part of her so wished to tame the beast and eventually heal it, but she had no confidence, and Devlin’s continued insistence that she should marry his brother did not help.
She suspected he felt guilty, but he was so arrogant, so impossible to read, that he left her feeling terribly uncertain and terribly naive.
She wished the conversation with Sean had never taken place.
By dusk, the rain had ceased and the skies had cleared, the seas growing calm and sweet. Virginia dined alone, not surprised that her captor was avoiding her—she knew that much, at least—and then, donning a pelisse, she slipped from the cabin.
Devlin was at the helm, although he did not steer the ship. He stood beside a sailor she recognized, his strong legs braced, facing the prow and the stars shining ahead. Virginia hesitated, her heart quickening, and then she walked over to the quarterdeck. As she climbed up, he turned.
She took the last step, expecting him to order her away, but he met her gaze, his eyes a flash of silver in the twilight, with a mere inclination of his head.
Virginia walked over to him. “It’s a fine night for sailing,” she breathed, meaning it.
Behind them, the moon was rising in the east, a spectacular sight.
Devlin seemed to flinch, though she could not be sure. But he glanced at the rising moon and nodded. “Yes, it is. We’ll have a moderate breeze for an hour or two and we must make use of it. It’s a good fourteen knots.”
She studied him as he stared ahead. He had removed his naval uniform sometime ago and wore only a loose shirt with his britches and boots. How she would love to be in his strong arms again.
Virginia started with guilt, dismayed by her wayward, uncalled-for thoughts. That was the last place she ever intended to be! She had learned her lesson and learned it well. “You didn’t come down to dine,” she said softly.
“I ate on deck.” He didn’t look at her as he spoke.
She decided to enjoy the night, the stars, the wind, the sea and even his impersonal company. It wasn’t a bad life, she thought, sailing the world by day and night. “It’s so free,” she whispered.
He didn’t respond, his arms now folded across his chest.
Suddenly she was struck by a comprehension and she faced him. “Do you think to outsail your childhood memories?” Was that what he was doing? Running away from his past under the guise of being a naval captain in a time of war? “How convenient,” she gasped.
He seemed to choke.
“I mean, this is a life without family, without responsibility. If you wanted, you could sail the world forever.”
Not looking at her, he said to the first mate, “Red, I’ll take the helm.”
Red said, “Aye, aye, Cap,” and he stepped aside.
Virginia watched Devlin’s large hands close on the helm, firm and assured, neither hard nor gentle, and she was breathless.
Blood pumped in places it should avoid. She looked away, taking a huge breath, suddenly faint with the most urgent desire.
His hands had been on her like that, almost exactly so.
“I think you should go below,” he said tersely, still refusing to look at her—and it was as if he knew.
“Is that an order?” she asked. But she knew her dazzling insight was right.
He finally turned his head and their gazes locked. He seemed to hesitate. “No.”
“No?”
His jaw was most definitely flexing. “The nights are long.”
She began to smile. “You don’t mind my company.”
“As long as you are quiet.”
Her smile widened—how quickly he could make her heart sing and dance! “You want my company,” she teased.
She thought she saw him hold back a smile. “I hardly said that. But I do not mind it, if you are quiet.” He stressed the last word.
“I promise.” She grinned, and she leaned on the siding, gazing up at the stars. Tendrils of stray hair whipped her face; she loosened her pelisse. “If I were a boy, I could have been a sailor,” she mused.
“No, you couldn’t.”
She turned, leaning her back on the ship, facing him. “You dispute me?” she bantered, praying their conversation would remain light and thrilled with it this far.
“You love the land.” He added thoughtfully, “One might think you are like the sea, a flighty mistress, ebbing one way, then another, forever free, but you are really like the dark, deep earth, solid and immovable.”
She stared. “How wrong you are, Devlin. You are like the earth, not I.”
He started.
“Did you always want to be a sailor?” she asked, aware of the depth of the tension between them. The light conversation, as brief as it was, had not done anything to dispel it.
“No.”
She tilted her head. “No? Do you care to elaborate?”
He seemed to caress the helm, steering the ship.
“Devlin? Has it ever occurred to you that it is easier to converse than to be in a speechless war?”
He sighed. “Askeaton has been in my family for centuries. I thought to do what Sean is doing.”
She became still. Suddenly she realized that she was touching his wrist. Desire crashed over her but she ignored it. “And then your father died and it all changed.”
“My brother has a big mouth. What else did he say?”
“He said you used the navy to become rich, so you could destroy your father’s murderer—my uncle.”
He looked directly at her. “And he is right.”
She stared boldly back. “If you expect me to swoon with hysteria and fear, then you do not know me at all.”