Chapter 21 #2
“But I mean my every word,” she declared, still stunned.
“Because you owe me for Sean’s life?”
She did not know how to respond. “Yes,” she whispered.
“I love you enough to let you go. He can’t give you the life I can, but you are a woman of passion and I know, as much as I wish I did not, that you will not be happy with a fortune, not when the man you love is not at your side. I am breaking off with you, Eleanor, so you may go to Sean.”
She was in shock. “Peter!” she cried, reaching for his face. “I won’t abandon you, not if you tell me you still wish to wed. I do owe you. Sean and I, we both owe you! I will try to make you happy!”
He shook his head. “I thought I could marry you in this fashion, as repayment of a debt, but I can’t. I thought I could ignore your love for another man, but I can’t. I love you enough to want happiness for you, even if that means handing you over to O’Neill.”
Eleanor began to cry. “I have never met anyone as generous and selfless as you.”
“I have never met anyone as passionate and courageous as you,” he replied unsteadily. “O’Neill was here earlier. By now, he must be home. You had better go to him, because he was very upset when he left.”
Eleanor nodded, about to turn and go. Instead, she threw her arms around Peter Sinclair and she held him hard, for the last time. Then she ran.
AS SHE GALLOPED the distance from Adare to Askeaton, she thought about Sean’s resolve that she marry Sinclair.
Then she thought about that night when he had left her four years ago, mindless of her pleas not to go.
She was afraid of his rejection. Two years in prison and the loss of Peg and Michael had turned him into such a dark, wounded and complicated man.
But she would never give up on their future.
Her stallion was heavily lathered and blowing hard when she flung herself from its back in front of Askeaton Hall. Eleanor ran toward the front doors when they opened. Sean appearing, coming down the steps. He was carrying a satchel—and it was déjà vu.
Eleanor halted, panting.
Her gaze fixated on the damned satchel. Somehow she tore her eyes from the bag to his tightly drawn face. “Where are you going?” she gasped.
He came forward. “I told you, I am leaving the country. What are you doing here?” he demanded, eyes wide.
How could this terrible night be happening all over again? “You can’t go—you can’t leave me!” Eleanor began to shake.
“I can’t stay—I don’t trust myself to stay,” he said grimly.
“What does that mean?” she cried, reaching for his hand. To her surprise, he clasped it so hard the gesture hurt. It was as if he was determined to never let her hand go.
“I stole the bride a month ago—I don’t think it would be wise to test my resolve another time,” he said tersely.
She shook her head. “I’m not marrying Peter.”
“We both owe him,” Sean said fiercely. “And I am leaving so I can be a man of honor.”
Their eyes held. And Eleanor began to realize that Sean wanted to abduct her from the altar again. “Sean, he has broken it off.”
Sean’s expression mirrored confusion. “What? I just spoke to him—we had it out. As justice is on his side, I am the one who must leave you both to your future.”
“No.” Eleanor somehow smiled, realizing that Sean had gone to Peter to fight for her and their love. “Peter has broken off the engagement because he is noble and selfless and he knows I love you.”
Sean stared, incredulous and disbelieving at once.
In the moment that ensued, Eleanor held her breath.
“He is walking away from you—because of me, of us?”
She managed to nod. He was starting to smile but he seemed dazed. “What did you say to him?” she asked.
“I told him I loved you. Not as a stepsister, but as the woman who is my entire life—and my entire future.” His gray eyes softened. “Elle, I love you. In fact, I cannot live without you.”
Eleanor started to cry. She reached for him and he put his arms around her.
“When you declared your love in Cork when the troops had captured you, it felt like a dream—it felt too late. I have waited and waited to hear you say those words freely, meaning them!” she cried, laughing at the same time.
“I have waited a lifetime to hear you declare your love for me, Sean!” She was giddy with joy, as all the darkness and torment dropped away.
He cradled her face in his hands. “And I have been a fool, not to see what has been right under my nose…for the past twenty years.”
“How could you know that a tiny two-year-old child was your fate?” she teased.
He became terribly serious, his gaze searching. “Maybe I did know—maybe that is why I spent my life taking care of you. I still need to take care of you, Elle, no matter how resourceful you may be…I want to spend the rest of my life protecting you.”
His tone had softened to a murmur and his face had lowered; Eleanor closed her eyes as their mouths drifted together. She sighed; inside, her nerves fired, her blood quickened. She could barely believe that this was really happening—that the future was theirs.
“May I do that?” he murmured, rubbing his lips across hers another time.
She clenched his shirt and answered, “Only if you make a very honest woman out of me.”
Both brows lifted in mock confusion. “But you are a terribly honest woman.”
She tugged warningly on his shirt. “I am serious! Are you going to marry me, Sean? Finally?”
He smiled, and the light of his smile filled his eyes. “Damn it, Elle! Will you not let me take the lead? Ladies do not propose marriage!”
“This one does!” she cried, her heart thundering as she awaited his answer.
He dropped to one knee. “Will you do me the vast honor, an honor I do not deserve, of becoming my wife? Will you allow me to cherish you, honor you, protect you and love you for the rest of my life? Will you bear my children, keep my home? Will you forgive me for not coming to my senses sooner?”
She nodded, speechless, as he stood upright. It finally sank in—Sean loved her. He was returning her love, and they were posed to embark upon the most wonderful journey of their lives, their future. “Sean, this feels like a dream. I have been waiting for you for so long.”
He pulled her close. “I know. I just didn’t know that it could be this way between us.
It was so hard watching you become a woman.
For the longest time, I couldn’t believe you were growing up.
Elle, I need you. I need your smile and your laughter, I need your hope.
I want to stay away from that place of darkness and guilt.
I don’t ever want to go back there. I’ve found light and peace with you. ”
“You are never going back to those shadows, Sean,” she whispered. “I will make sure of it.”
“Then come with me into the future—our future.” He smiled tenderly at her.
“You couldn’t stop me if you tried!” She smiled back, insanely happy, as he put his arms around her.
“Foolishly, I did try,” he said with real regret. “Elle, could you be with child?”
“It seems more likely with every passing day.” Eleanor searched his eyes. “I want your child, Sean, as much as I want our future.”
He thought about Peg. Suddenly he could recall her vividly, in full color, and to his surprise, there was no guilt, no regret, just a vague sadness. And he thought about Michael.
Elle whispered, “If it’s a boy, we can name him Michael.”
He started. “I’d like that.”
Eleanor reached for his face. “I will go wherever you wish to go,” she said softly, kissing him. “And I know you won’t believe it, but I will follow, not lead.”
And Sean wanted to laugh, because he didn’t believe it, not for a minute.
But her warm, strong body was stirring up too many recent memories, and he paused before kissing her back.
“I like it when you lead,” he said, “as long as I am there to follow—and pick up any pieces that might come undone in your wake.”
Impatient now, she kissed him, long and slow and very intimately. “I am definitely leading now.”
It was a long, long time before he was capable of speech. “Good,” he whispered. “Now let’s announce our news.”
And arm in arm, they went in search of the earl and countess of Adare to share their joy and good tidings.