Chapter 9 #2
It was a moment before he glanced at her. Before she could catch his eye, his gaze slid away. “Granted.”
His behavior was strange, she thought, hurrying up the three steps to pause breathlessly beside him. His powerful presence wrapped itself around her. With it, there was a throbbing heat. Amanda tensed, acutely aware of the man’s mesmerizing force.
I must be mad, she thought. She inhaled deeply, but the night was scented with him as well as the stars and the sea. He must be feeling what she felt. But if he did, wouldn’t he turn to her and pull her into his arms? Or was that wishful thinking?
Slowly she faced him, but she couldn’t summon up a smile.
He was staring so intently her breath caught. Instantly, he looked away. Confused and shaken, Amanda faced the bowsprit, hollowed now with raw hunger. Clearly the dream she had had last night had been her undoing.
There was no denying it, his humor was dark and grim. Was he displeased with her? Or had something happened that she did not know about?
“I studied very hard today,” she tried. She would do anything to make him smile.
He nodded, not looking at her. “So Anahid said. I am pleased.”
She suddenly shivered. He was this cold stranger again, but why? “I thought you would be happy.”
He seemed reluctant to look at her. “I am very pleased with the progress you made today.”
Amanda stared at his taut profile. Last night, in her dream, he had kissed her as if he was drinking from the well of her soul.
She could almost feel his tongue in her throat.
And then he had buried his face between her breasts, caressing them until she found pleasure.
The urge to lean toward him and demand his touch, his kiss, was unbearable.
He suddenly said, clearing his throat, “Michelle says tomorrow you will be choosing a book from my library.”
She nodded, hoping he would be pleased enough to smile at her. “He says it will be a struggle for me, but we will do one paragraph and sound out the words together.”
He turned to stare. “What do you wish to read?”
She wet her lips, her heartbeat accelerating. “I want to read about Ireland.”
Their gazes were locked. “Why?”
“I know all about the islands and sailing,” she said, unable to contain her excitement. She smiled. “I can name all the continents, all the oceans, all the seas. Papa taught me. Now, I want to know about the world.”
His glance slid over her. “Ireland is not the world.”
“I know. But I will start with Ireland, with its history and culture, and then I will move on to England and then France.” She smiled. “What do you think?”
His gaze slid to hers and then past. “I think it is an admirable goal. But why start with Ireland?”
Because I love you, she thought, and you are an Irishman who loves his home.
You said it is the most beautiful place on the earth!
She thought about how to reply. “You’ve told me a little bit about what it was like to grow up at Adare.
It sounded so wonderful…I will probably never have a chance to visit there, but at least I can read about it. ”
He stroked the huge wheel. Spray danced lightly off the hull and the mass of canvas filling the night moaned in the wind above them. “You could start your studies with England, the home of your parents,” he finally said.
“I am interested in Ireland,” she said stubbornly.
He looked at her and she saw the faintest trace of a smile beginning. “I am sure that one day, you will have the opportunity to visit Ireland, and if you are in the vicinity of Adare, you will always be welcome there.”
She thrilled, grasping his forearm. The moment she did so, she thought about every detail of her dream and jerked away. “Will you take me?” she somehow managed, her tone husky.
“I doubt it.”
She knew her disappointment showed.
“Your husband is not going to allow you to lark about the world with me, Amanda.”
She stared, stunned. “What husband?”
He sighed. “We both know you will one day wed. It is what women do.”
“You mean my mother is going to force me to wed, don’t you?”
Now he turned to face her, the distant mask gone. “No one will force you to do anything. I said I won’t abandon you and I will not. I said I would secure your future and I mean it. If you wish to remain a spinster, so be it,” he said harshly. “But we both know your place is at Belford House!”
She found it hard to breathe. “If you took me pirating, I could have a share of the prize and then I would not have to go to Belford House!”
“First of all,” he said, after a moment in which he could not speak, “I do not pirate and I do not plunder. Second, if you mean, would I take you on a pirate hunt, the answer is no—and it is not negotiable. Thirdly, you belong with your mother.”
“I heard,” Amanda said slowly, ‘that you ran away from home when you were fourteen.”
He stiffened. “Where did you hear that?”
“It is gossip. They all gossip about you on the streets—the ladies you have taken to bed in Kingston, in Spanishtown, in Barbados! I have heard so many rumors, and that is one of them, but I had forgotten it until now. Did you run away from your home at fourteen?”
“Yes, I did. But it wasn’t running away. I left home to make my way in the world.”
“You were younger than I am.” She was fascinated now.
“I was a boy—you are a young woman!”
“Why would anyone run away from a home like Adare?”
He sighed. “It was time, Amanda, that is all. I finally understood that I had no real future there. I told you, my oldest brother, Tyrell, is heir. My middle brother, Rex, was predestined by the order of his birth to go into the army. I had no certain future to aspire to. My stepbrother, Devlin, was already sailing in the royal navy, and the sea was calling me, as well. But I do not care to answer to authority, so I decided to go it alone.”
She nodded eagerly. “And?”
“I packed a small sack and rode to Limerick. I sold my hunter there for a nice piece of change, and worked my way to Boston. We were still at war and the Americans were ignoring the British blockade, so it wasn’t easy to do. But once there, I joined an American merchant ship as a topman.”
Amanda grinned. “I cannot imagine you as a young lad hoisting sails!”
He smiled back. “It was a long time ago, and the work was dangerous and difficult. But because I started at the bottom, or nearly so, I am very appreciative of every hand on my decks.”
She nodded seriously. “Yes, I can see that. But didn’t your parents object to your leaving?”
He hesitated. “My father understood. I discussed it with him first. He is a great man, whom I admire and respect, and as his son, I owed him that. He gave me his permission, although he asked me to wait until I was sixteen to leave. I refused.”
“And he let you go anyway?”
“He understood I had to go, Amanda. He is that kind of man.”
“Papa would have beaten me if I ever tried anything like that. He would have never given me that kind of choice.”
De Warenne said tersely, “Your father was too quick with his fists. There is no reason to beat anyone, most of the time.”
She stared, suddenly thinking that he was right. All of those times that Papa had hit her, well, he had been in a temper and she hadn’t really needed the punishment. Amanda became uncomfortable. She had never questioned her father’s actions before. “And your stepmother, the countess?”
“She was very upset. She wept when she thought I would not see her crying. I felt badly hurting her, but I have no regrets. I had to start somewhere, sooner rather than later. As it was, I did not have my own ship until I was eighteen, and she was only a twelve-gun schooner.”
“You were master of your own ship at eighteen,” Amanda whispered, filled with admiration for him. “I am almost eighteen.”
“You are a woman,” he said as if reminding her.
“There have been women pirates.”
He was clearly aghast. “Don’t even think it!”
She began to smile, pleased that he remained so concerned for her. “Why not? You can see that I am a skilled seaman and a skilled swordsman. Why couldn’t I have my own ship? Then I could give up this farce of trying to be a lady.” She didn’t mean a single word.
“You are trying to provoke me,” he said, flushed in the starlight. “I am onto your game! You could not control a crew and we both know it.”
“I was trying to provoke you,” she admitted, “and it was very easy to do.” She glanced at him through her lashes.
It had been ridiculously easy, in fact. Just as it had been so easy to get him to lust after her with a little bit of swordplay.
“I do not want to control a crew. A captain cannot control his ship if he will not commit murder if he has to. Papa has murdered more than his share of mates. I am not inclined to violence and I have never murdered anyone.”
“Thank God,” de Warenne said, his tone choked.
“Have you ever murdered a mate?”
His jaw was hard. “I have never had to murder one of my own crew. I have, upon occasion, and especially earlier in my career, used harsh discipline. But I have never keelhauled anyone, either. However, I am the exception, not the rule.”
Amanda could not agree more. “Tell me about how you came to command the Fair Lady,” she said, smiling.
He hesitated. “It is late. You have a full day of studies tomorrow—”
“I will be studying at dawn! Please,” she said. “I have been wondering about it for some time.”
He sighed in surrender. “It is a boring story.”
Amanda knew that was simply impossible.
DE WARENNE HAD BEEN RIGHT. Exactly ten days later, Amanda stood staring at the stunning sight of London as the frigate approached.
She had been to Lisbon once, when she was eight years old, but she could not recall the adventure.
She had been to New Orleans several times, and Charleston, too, but she had never seen a city like this one in her life.
She had never seen such a crowded harbor, such a high, jumbled skyline, so many buildings, churches, spires. London was huge.