Chapter 14 Sadia
“Move, shit.” I shove Chance out of the way and race to the bathroom like my feet are on fire.
Thanks to raspberry dulce de leche, Chance and I didn’t make it to the other choices he’d paid too much money for. Chance had fed me the first bite, then tasted it himself. Chance went back and forth, feeding us the ice cream until our stomachs growled in protest after the third exchange.
“Nooo.” I cry as I race to reach the toilet.
I wiggle out of my pants and underwear, then sit on the toilet.
“Hurry up, Dia. I gotta—fuck. I gotta go, bae.” Chance pounds on the door with urgency. “Gotdamn.” Chance groans, and I grunt as more of my bowels run into the toilet.
It takes me another ten minutes to come out of the bathroom, and all I can do is hang my head.
Chance doesn’t say a word to me as he enters the bathroom without closing it.
I lost count of how many times Chance and I alternate going in and out of the bathroom.
The entire thing is humiliating, as the ice cream was my suggestion.
“I mean this in the nicest way possible, Dia. But this is the last time I allow your loose booty ass to make a suggestion for us to try anything new. Fuck new. We’re sticking to old things or nothing.” Chance grumbles as he turns on the water in the sink.
Against my better judgment, I laugh but regret it a second later when my stomach grumbles, and I run back into the bathroom.
It feels like God hates me as my stomach tightens and growls its protest of the torment I’m experiencing.
When I finish, I can’t meet Chance’s eyes, and my wobbly legs make it difficult to stand.
Chance flushes the toilet, and water echoes around the room.
“Come on, shitty, let’s take a shower. Maybe God will be kind enough to plug our asses for the rest of the day and night.” Chance gingerly helps me off the toilet and walks us into the shower.
Silence ensues as neither Chance nor I can look at each other. Sexy has taken a back seat to this moment.
“Whoa. Come on, Jesus,” Chance says, and my eyes dart up to see him gripping his stomach.
“Ah—whoop.” My attempt at laughter is cut immediately when my stomach jerks, and I squeeze my cheeks together.
“Nooo, God. Why has thou forsaken us?” I cry as tears fall from my eyes.
I close my eyes so I don’t have to see what mixes with the water that cascades over our bodies.
“Nah, don’t you dare blame God for this. Blame your need to try that flavored blasphemy of creamery. I knew I shouldn’t have . . . damn, come on, man.”
I open my eyes to see Chance’s once handsome face twisted as a deep grimace covers his mouth. I can fully agree because this is wrong on so many levels.
God, I’m so sorry.
“I promise we can—”
“No disrespect, but shut up, Sadia.”
Time gets away from me, and I can’t pinpoint how long it takes Chance and me to clean ourselves up.
But we spend the remainder of the day taking turns making deposits in the toilet.
It’s the most unattractive experience I have had with the opposite sex.
Between the repeat bathroom trips, Chance and I pack our clothes because checkout is tomorrow.
I’m nervous because I don’t know how we’re going to drive fifteen hours if our bowels don’t get their acts together.
But after today, I’m confident in knowing that nothing shows a strong connection like shared fecal incidents.
Sometime The Next Day . . .
“I gotta—oh God. Can you please stop there?” I point at the rest stop sign that comes up, mentally praying I can keep things in check that long.
Okay, the next time I have a bright idea about what to do with Chance, this moment needs to be a reminder to crawl before I walk.
“Fuck yeah. My ass is tighter than a nigga in jail dodging two dicks,” Chance grumbles.
“Ah—God, no.” I whine when he hits a bump getting off the freeway toward the rest area.
I’m seconds away from shitting in this seat at this point. Chance doesn’t pull into a spot good before he and I race from the vehicle toward the restrooms. I’m sure we’re a sight to see, as I’m holding my ass, and Chance is running like he’s in the final leg at a track meet.
“Move, nigga,” Chance says as he shoves a random man out of his way.
Thankfully, there is no opposition to my entrance into the women’s bathroom. I run to the first stall and almost throw up when the smell and evidence of someone not flushing properly stare back at me.
“Damn. I guess somebody else had some bad food.”
I slam the door and run like a contestant in that grocery store competition as I search for a clean stall to occupy.
My stomach grumbles, and my cheeks plead with me to let them out of the chokehold I have them in.
As soon as I find an available stall, I dance from side to side as I place the seat cover down.
“Ooh, God, please.” I almost twist my ankle from how fast I turn and plop down.
The ice cream debacle is still affecting Chance and me. My embarrassment level is shot to hell. But at least I have seen Chance at his worst and vice versa. We can only grow from here, right?
One thing I’m glad about is the fact that we stopped and grabbed some Pepto Bismol.
Now, if it will just kick in, I can truly restore my attraction for the man I have to spend the next two hours in the vehicle with.
Twenty minutes and a contemplation of doing a rough rinse of my bootyhole later, I exit the bathroom and head back to the vehicle.
“For the first time in thirty-five years of living, I washed my ass with rest area soap while random men looked at me like I’d lost my mind,” Chance says once I’m back in the passenger seat.
I want to laugh, but I don’t trust myself not to have another accident, so I look at Chance’s downcast expression and try to offer some comfort.
“At least you had the guts to do it. I was alone and didn’t think it would be cute to sit my ass in the sink to attempt that gesture.” I shrug before I pull my seat belt over and secure it.
“That’s exactly what I did. My dick and nuts were tucked because no homo, but I slathered that rough ass soap in the crack of my ass without apology.”
My mouth opens and closes as words fail me, and I swallow the laughter I’m dying, but too scared, to release. I can imagine how Chance looked to the other travelers.
“Hm. Well, let’s just hope the liquid plunger ends our misery.”
Chance grunts before he puts his seat belt on and backs out of the spot.
After what we’ve shared, conversation should be easy, but silence ensues between us.
I’m not sure if it’s welcome or necessary, but when we pull up at my apartment, I don’t even care.
I exit the vehicle before Chance has it in park good because I’m ready to hide within the comforts of my home.
Chance wastes no time grabbing my luggage and seeing me to my door.
He doesn’t try to enter or give me a kiss goodbye, and neither is a problem for me.
“I’ll call you. But let me know if you need anything.”
“I will.” I wave and enter my apartment before quickly moving to my bedroom to wash the day and any remnants of shit from my body.
What began as a fake arrangement has ended in a torment I never saw coming.
I don’t know how Chance and I will recover from our messy debacle, but for now, I’m going to clean up and put it out of my mind.
An hour later, and with no more evidence of the failed ice cream debauchery, I’m in my living room, flipping through channels.
I’m dying to share my time away with an understanding party, which leads me to call my bestie.
“Oh, I guess you remember my name, huh? I ain’t heard a peep from you since you left here. The least you could have done was call to let me know you arrived, and maybe a daily text to say that man didn’t kill you. What the hell kind of friend are you?”
“If you would stop rambling, I can catch you up on how things went. Trust me, what started blissfully ended in chaos.”
“Chaos? Lord, don’t tell me that fine ass man turned into a toad the second y’all got outside city limits?”
I sigh and then take a minute or two to tell Alicia what had happened from the time we left to my arrival home not long ago. By the time I stop talking, Alicia’s laughter is loud, wheezy, and makes me want to hang up.
“That’s the funniest shit I have heard in a long time,” Alicia says once her laughter slows.
“Please don’t mention shit to me for the next year. I also don’t think your humor at my expense is best-friend like.”
Alicia laughs again, and my finger hovers next to the button to disconnect the call, because I don’t find any of it funny.
“Alright. I’m done. Have you talked to your man since he’s been gone?”
I hang my head because I haven’t, but I’m also a little scared to reach out to see if he’s made it home. What we shared was ruined with one last attempt at an impromptu date. It’s my fault, and the evidence of my sore ass makes it challenging for me to face Chance even through text.
“No. I don’t know how to face him after this.”
“Girl, wash your shitty drawers and—” I disconnect the call because I told Alicia how I feel about her making a mockery of my moment in the trenches.
My phone rings, and I shake my head before I accept the call.
“What?”
“You’re so petty. Stop tripping. Things happen. Besides, it’s something y’all can tell your grandkids about years from now.”
“Girl, bye. I’ll be good if that man fucks me in the future, let alone entertains me long enough to commit to a future with me.”
My feelings spiral as I run through everything that has happened over the last twenty-four hours.
Even with my hesitation, Chance has gotten into my system, and the thought of no longer having him as a man saddens me.
Hopefully our shitty encounter won’t ruin what we’ve been building.
I guess only time will tell because, for now, I’m going to wait and see if Chance reaches out.