13. Briar
Briar
M y stomach roils as I stare at the ceiling of my darkened bedroom. Sleep once again has proved an impossibility, the clock beside my bed telling me that it’s after midnight even though I was in bed by nine.
My father didn’t say a thing about my early night. He’s not even here, caught up in some urgent casework that means I probably won’t see him until tomorrow night, if he comes home at all.
Irritated, I shift onto my side, punching at my pillow and trying to separate my racing thoughts into anything resembling sense.
You want to have sex with me while I’m unconscious?
The memory of Kai’s blue eyes burning into me as the words flowed through my fingers stays with me, my body heating up.
It’s… ridiculous. Obscene. Dangerous , even.
I should block their numbers and forget I ever met them.
Even vaguely considering their offer in the privacy of my bedroom is pushing the boundaries I at least thought I had so far into the realm of fucked-up that I wonder exactly what’s wrong with me.
I should be disgusted. Offended.
I should be… so why am I not ?
Instead, my skin feels too hot, prickling with an electricity that has me kicking the sheets down my bed in irritation. I didn’t bother with pyjamas, and my skin gleams in the chink of moonlight from where I yanked the curtains closed without paying attention.
It’s too easy to let my imagination run free in the dark. To imagine large, tanned hands spreading over my stomach, sliding up and over my breasts. The images unfurl like a movie in my head, and I bite down on my lip as my stomach flips.
There’s nobody here.
Nobody would know.
Slowly, I lift my arms up. Let my hands settle against the pillow on either side of my head, in the position I tend to favor while I’m sleeping… and let my eyes slide closed.
What would it be like?
My breathing speeds up, loud in the silent room as I force my legs to relax. Force my entire body to relax. My legs fall open, and I inhale the feel of the cool air.
They would come to me like this. And I would have no idea what they were doing. What part of me they were touching. They could look, and touch, and – and fuck , pushing inside me. Using my body in whatever way they wanted, like a doll.
And I wouldn’t know.
My stomach flips again, my body tingling. Slamming my legs closed, I take a deep breath with my eyes still closed, feeling the wetness between my legs.
Every single part of this – every single thing – is in your control.
Steel-gray eyes, harsh words and a promise made. And it’s those words that keep circling in my head.
I’ve never been in control of anything in my entire life. Every decision made for me. What I ate, how I dressed, who I spoke to.
I’m already a doll. A pretty, perfect, doll.
I’d be stupid to take this any further. To say yes.
But I can at least admit to myself that I’m curious. Curious as to what would make three men who look like they’d have absolutely no issues recruiting willing participants approach a complete stranger with an offer like this.
And maybe I’m a little flattered that they would want me at all.
Sign the agreement, and we’ll show you just how much.
Swallowing, I swing my legs out of bed, sitting up and reaching for the water I keep there at night. Even draining it does nothing to bank the burning inside me.
I want to know more.
And… My father isn’t home tonight. The staff we have here don’t live in at my father’s preference, meaning the house is empty.
There’s no one here to know if I slipped out. Just for a couple of hours.
My eyes linger on the dress I tugged off earlier before my bath, tossed over the chair. The card feels heavy in my hand.
I could call them. Ask the questions in my head over the phone.
But it won’t soothe the burning curiosity I have. To see them again. To learn more about them. River, Jenson, and Kai.
And if I was going to say yes – which I’m not going to – that would be a sensible thing to do. Responsible, even.
My eyes catch on the envelope I tossed onto my dressing table earlier.
And I even have a reason.