Chapter 11
11
Fiona
Two Days Later
A nother big yawn overpowers me. As soon as it ends, another one starts.
I'm so tired.
I can't remember when I had a full night's rest. It takes forever to fall asleep, only to wake up with my mind racing. My thoughts weave between dread and telling myself everything will be fine if I marry the king. It always ends with me turning on the light and rereading his letters.
The questions are always the same.
Who is he?
What are these flaws he deems so horrible?
How old is he?
Is he attractive?
Then, the lingerie dances in my mind, taunting me.
How do I get out of sleeping with someone forever?
The answers never come. Then I'll read the letters again, smiling and laughing at certain parts, and always coming to the same conclusion.
He's funny and nice.
He flew to Monaco to pick out my wedding attire, and asked me what I preferred.
He's going on another long trip to select whatever the borrowed item is, so doesn't that make him kind too?
He says we'll rule together as equals.
What does "rule" even mean?
He knew my dad.
That always tears me up. Then, the pain of growing up without a father and the thought of the twins not having both their parents resolidifies my decision.
There's no way out. I have to marry the king, whoever he is, and deal with whatever future is ahead of me. So my emotions are all over the place, night after night, resulting in me not getting adequate sleep.
I need coffee.
I set my hairbrush down, slide into my robe, and tie the belt around my waist. I exit my bedroom and stop short. My heart pounds harder. I blurt out, "What are you doing here?"
Valentina beams at me. "Don't look so happy to see us."
I glare at her, then slide my angry gaze to Zara.
She softly smiles with a sad expression. "I need to talk to you before Valentina does."
I cross my arms. "About what?"
"It's private. Please," Zara begs .
Valentina rises, pours a cup of coffee, then adds cream and sugar. She walks over and hands it to me. "Here. I'll wait in the guest bedroom."
"Just make yourself at home," I snap.
Her grin widens. "We'll be friends soon. You'll see."
I scoff. "Doubt that." I snatch the coffee mug out of her hand.
She shrugs, reiterating, "We will."
"Why don't you go home to Kirill?" I snarl.
She looks surprised at my words, and I can't deny feeling it too.
Why did I bring him up?
It's not the first time I've thought of him, remembered his fingers wrapped around my throat, the gleam in his blues, or how my body ached whenever he was near me. But he's a man I must forget, especially if I'm taking vows to tie myself to another. We have no future, even if I wasn't getting married. And I keep telling myself he's just a blip on the timeline of my life.
Maybe my husband will make me feel the same ache.
Doubt it.
Valentina studies me, and heat flares across my cheeks. I try to stop it but can't, hating myself for mentioning his name and showing her any of my cards. She purses her lips, peering at me closer.
I wait her out, not flinching.
She states, "I thought Kirill made it clear to you that he and I are friends. That's it."
I huff. "Sure didn't look like it."
"Why? Because you interrupted a conversation about a private matter you know nothing about?" she scolds .
More embarrassment hits me.
She quickly adds, "As far as I know, I'm Kirill's only friend. If I'm being open, I'll admit I can count mine on one hand. He's one of them."
"Yeah, okay," I mutter, wishing I'd shut up, but I'm not buying her story. No way she could be that close to him and not be attracted to him, so even if they're friends, I'm sure she wants him.
Anger flares across her expression. "We've never been anything but friends. You'll need to get over this notion you have about whatever it is you falsely believe is going on between us."
I grunt. "Why is that?"
She shuts her mouth, glares daggers my way, then shakes her head. "I'll be in the guest room. Take your time, Zara," she states, and strolls down the hall, enters the bedroom, then firmly shuts the door.
I redirect my irritation on Zara, closing the gap between us. "Why are you here?"
She keeps her tone soft. "Fiona, I have to talk to you about something serious. It's about the twins."
My anger morphs into worry. "What's wrong with them?"
"Nothing. But please, sit down." She points to the chair next to her.
I sigh and take a seat.
She stares at me, searching for something, but I don't know what.
I take a few sips of my coffee, then say, "I have to get to work soon. What is it?"
She takes a few deep breaths, reaches into her oversized blue bag, and pulls out an envelope. She sets it in front of me. "I need you to put this in your safe."
I glance at the yellow envelope. "What is it? "
Zara swallows hard, then blinks a few times, revealing, "Sean's and my trust."
My stomach flips. "Why do I need it?"
"We..." She blinks harder, and her eyes glisten. She looks away, pulls herself together, and releases an emotion-filled breath. She lifts her chin, squares her shoulders, and declares, "I know this is a lot, but we want you to raise the twins if something happens to us. If you don't want the responsibility, then it'll be left to our parents to decide who gets to raise them. We couldn't choose between them."
Horror fills me. My insides churn and my chest tightens. "Of course I would keep them! But why..."
Zara puts her hand on mine. "We've put you through a lot these last few weeks. We're both really sorry. Honestly. We never meant for any of this to happen. But Sean and I made choices, and those led us to this predicament. It's not fair to you. We'll deal with the consequences before us."
I gape at her, bile rising in my throat. I swallow it down.
She continues, "Our safe has letters I've written to the twins for their birthdays and special events, along with videos Sean and I made. If you want to move into our penthouse, it'll be your choice. The trust will hold the title for all properties and assets, but the penthouse will be transferred to your name. Do what you want with it. There should be plenty in the trust to raise the twins, and after they're eighteen, they'll start getting payouts on their birthdays."
"Zara..." I barely manage to get her name out, scooting closer and putting my arm around her back.
She blinks harder, takes another deep breath, then offers, "We really are sorry we put you through this ordeal. Thank you for taking the twins. "
A tear escapes, falling down my cheek. "Zara, I'm not going to let you die!" I swipe my cheek.
She furrows her forehead, arguing, "It's okay, Fiona. You can't derail your entire life because of the choices we made. We shouldn't have let it get this far. Sean just thought he would figure out how to get us out of this mess."
"So you're going to let them kill you and let the twins grow up parentless?" I cry out.
Her face hardens and the color drains from her cheeks. She looks away, and her body trembles.
"Zara! Look at me!" I order.
Her chest rises and falls faster. She slowly meets my gaze.
"You're not letting them kill you. I already decided I'll marry whoever this man is," I declare.
Shock overtakes her features.
"You really thought I'd let you die?" I accuse, arching my eyebrows.
She swallows hard. "Fiona, it's not fair to you?—"
"But letting your kids grow up as orphans is fair?" I hurl.
She wipes a tear off her cheek. Her voice shakes. "It's a no-win situation."
I chortle. "Right. But we're the adults, aren't we?"
She bites on her lip, closing her eyes.
"River and Willow are babies. They need their parents," I point out.
She nods, opening her misery-filled eyes. "I know. But?—"
"There isn't a 'but' about it. You two got yourselves into a pile of shit, taking me with you. If there are only two options, as you say there are, then that really means there's only one. You know it and I know it," I declare.
Guilt explodes on Zara's face. She winces. "You're really going to go through with it?"
My gut dives. "Of course I am. There's no other choice. But you two owe me for the rest of your lives."
Tears of relief dampen her cheeks. She cackles, "You're sure?"
"About you two owing me for the rest of your life? Yep. No doubts," I affirm.
Another emotion-filled laugh flies out of her mouth. Then more tears fall. She sobs, "Fiona, I'm so sorry. Really. I am!"
I sigh and pull her into me, hugging her and admitting, "I know."
She weeps harder.
"Shh. It'll be fine," I insist, trying to convince myself as well.
She lifts her head, crying, "I didn't know what I was getting myself into. Neither of us did. We just wanted to know the truth and..."
"The truth? About my father?" I question.
She sniffles and straightens her back. "And mine."
"Yours?"
She nods. "Yes."
"Did you get it?"
"Yes."
"And what is it?"
She squeezes her eyes tight. "I can't tell you anything."
"Seriously? "
She pins her wet gaze on mine, quickly stating, "Not yet. But I will. I promise you, as soon as you're married, I will share everything with you."
Married.
My nerves flare again. I study her, then ask, "Can you tell me one thing?"
"If I'm allowed, yes," she answers.
I take a deep breath and probe, "Will he be nice to me?"
She hesitates, then replies, "I don't know him that well. But I believe so."
My insides quiver. I push, "Is he good-looking?"
She grimaces.
"Well that says it all."
She blurts out, "He's not...um...horrible."
"Well, that's reassuring," I mutter.
"I'm sorry. He has..."
"Has what?"
She shakes her head. "I'm sorry. I can't say any more."
A new wave of annoyance fills me.
Zara offers, "Sorry. I wish I could tell you everything right now."
I huff. "Yeah. Me too. Especially since I have to marry this man."
Guilt flashes across her expression once again. "I really am sorry," she apologizes.
I don't say anything .
The alarm on her phone blares through the air.
She reaches into her purse, pulls it out, and turns it off. She swallows hard and locks eyes with me. "Are you sure you're able to do this? If you aren't, don't go, Fiona. The minute you leave with Valentina, you're committing to it. If you change your mind, they'll kill you."
Nausea sours my stomach.
There's no choice.
I breathe through it and rise. "My decision is made."
Zara stands with fresh remorse flooding her beautiful features. "I feel horrible about this."
"You should," I agree, not willing to let her off the hook. I pick up the envelope. "I don't need this."
She shakes her head. "Please. Keep it in your safe. If anything ever happens to us, our wishes are the same."
"What's going to happen?" I fret. "I told you I'll marry him."
She holds her hand up. "I just meant for any reason. Like if an accident happens or we keel over from a heart attack."
I scoff. "Both of you at the same time?"
"You know what I mean."
"Well, nothing is happening to you," I insist.
"Please put it in your safe. I feel better as a mother having a plan in place," she confesses.
I put the envelope on the table. "Okay."
Another alarm goes off.
She wrinkles her forehead and swipes her phone. It stops and she declares, "I have to go. I feel sick over this, but I won't lie, Fiona. I selfishly don't want my kids orphaned or to die. So I know this sounds hollow, but thank you. Sean and I both thank you."
I grunt. "Make sure my brother knows he owes me."
Zara's lips twitch. "Don't worry, I will."
"Forever. If I have to commit to eternity, then tell him he's never getting off the hook with me," I add.
She bites on her smile, nodding, then states, "I'll relay the message. He'll be thrilled about it."
A laugh escapes me. I can just imagine how much my brother will hate it when Zara tells him. "I'm sure he will be."
Zara smiles and hugs me. "I have to go. I love you. So does Sean. We'll see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" I question, going through my schedule in my head.
"At your coronation," Zara announces.
My stomach flips. "Oh. It's tomorrow?"
"Yes. And if I don't leave now, I might end up dead anyway." She hugs me tighter, then retreats. "Thank you."
I stay silent as I watch her leave, then pace a few minutes.
Valentina. Ugh.
I yell, "Valentina, you can come out now." I go to the window and stare out at the city. The roofs are covered with white snow but it's dirty on the streets from cars and pedestrians.
Valentina says, "So, you've made your decision?"
Anger fills me. I hate everything about Valentina. All I can think about is Kirill's hand on hers.
Stop thinking about him .
With my most confident stance, I turn to her and acknowledge, "There is no choice. I'm sure even you can agree with me on this point."
She tilts her head.
I cross my arms. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You're naive, aren't you?" she asks.
Insulted, I fire back, "Excuse me?"
She rolls her eyes. "You don't have to take offense to every little thing I say."
"You just called me naive," I point out.
"Yeah, I did. And you are," she insists.
"And why would that be?"
She steps closer. "You think the choice is clear. Some wouldn't see it that way. They'd save themselves over others."
I gulp. "Save? So I need to worry about the king harming me?"
She hesitates, then shakes her head. "I didn't say that."
"You just used the word 'save,'" I remind her.
"Others would choose to let Zara and Sean die. I've seen it a dozen times. That's all I meant," she claims.
"That's sad. Children shouldn't lose their parents as babies," I assert.
"No. They shouldn't," she agrees.
Silence fills the air, creating a sharp tension.
She breaks it, offering, "Maybe that's why you're meant to be queen."
My pulse increases. I still can't wrap my head around the royalty thing or what it actually means, especially in the real world. And the secret one my father created is just as big of a mystery to me .
Valentina glances at her watch. "We need to go or we'll be late."
"Where are we going?"
"To coronation," she answers.
"Where?" I push.
She winces. "Sorry. Can't tell you."
"Of course you can't," I mutter.
"Are you ready?" she asks.
My anxiety reignites. I blurt out, "What do I need to take?"
"Nothing. Everything is provided," she informs me.
"I have to go to work first," I add.
She shakes her head. "They aren't expecting you."
A deluge of exasperation drowns me. "Why is that?"
"It's been taken care of. You don't need to worry," she assures.
"It's not okay to tamper with my career," I warn.
She holds her hands up. "I haven't. Sean took care of it."
"How do you know?"
She sighs. "The Omni don't leave details overlooked. They cross their t's and dot their i's. Your father made sure The Underworld ran that way. There's always a map depending on what choice is made."
I glance out the window, fighting the urge to kick her out and not continue this nightmare.
"Time to go," she says.
I find the ability to follow her. We get to my front door, and she stops. "I forgot!" She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small notecard. She holds it out toward me. "This is for you. "
Cautiously, I ask, "What is it?"
She looks amused at my hesitance. "It's from the king."
The butterflies in my stomach take off. I gape at it.
"He said to make sure you read it," she reports.
I take it, go into the bedroom, and shut the door. I sit on my bed and stare at my name in his handwriting. I finally turn it over, release the seal, and pull out a notecard.
It matches his cream linen letterhead. The front is torn off, and only the inside of the card exists. I run my finger over the soft, uneven edges, and read.
My dearest Fiona,
I figured out the borrowed item.
If you are not 100% sure you will go through with your coronation, then do not leave with Valentina. I would rather be beheaded than have you show up, only to witness your death by their hands.
Sincerely,
The King
My insides curl. I close my eyes, debating about staying home, knowing I can't.
I reread the note again, then rise. I put it with the stack of other letters, take them to the kitchen, and grab the envelope off the table.
"We have to go," Valentina announces.
I ignore her, return to my bedroom, and go into my closet. I press my hand to my safe. The lock whirs, then pops. The door opens.
A stack of cash, my valuable jewels, and my passport are inside. I slide the letters and trust documents on the shelf, then close the door. I lock it and then rejoin Valentina .
"Ready?" she questions, opening the door.
Nausea hits me again, but I fight through it. I lift my chin and step past her, cursing my father, Sean, and Zara.
There's no way out and only one place to enter.
The Underworld.