Chapter Eleven
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I T WAS THE scent rather than the sound of Carter coming out of the shower that awoke Grace.
She knew his scents now.
He worked hard for his millions—or billions—and at the end of his working day there was just the last trace of bergamot on his jaw, and the masculine scent of Carter as he peeled off his shirt.
Possibly that was the one she loved the most.
Even so, the heady mixture of clean male, deodorant, and his sexy cologne was such a potent hit to the olfactory system that Grace was smiling even as she opened her eyes.
She thought of their lovemaking last night and lay watching as he pulled on his shirt and suit. He was clearly trying not to wake her, because he sat on a bedroom chair to put on his shoes, but then he must have seen her watching him.
‘You’re awake,’ he said.
‘It’s early.’ She frowned, peering at the time.
‘I’ve got a flight at six.’
‘You never said.’
‘Didn’t I?’ He paused, then slipped on his second shoe. ‘I thought I told you I had to go to Janana?’
He wasn’t used to giving times and dates to anyone other than Ms Hill, who then did her usual magic with his schedule, but even so he was certain he’d mentioned it.
‘The council’s meeting. We have to make some last-minute changes to the plans.’
‘For the palace?’
‘That’s right.’
It blew her mind that he was working on the restorations for some ancient palace while she was filling her days with designers and having her hair straightened, her nails or make-up done.
‘When will you be back?’ she asked.
‘Depends.’
Carter moved his luggage out of the bedroom suite.
Seeing Grace stretch was like watching a flower open, or seeing how the giant ferns at the river edge unfurled.
But he didn’t like the way his mind kept drifting to the river, and he kept waiting for boredom to kick in, for her to annoy him.
For her to stop creeping into his heart.
‘You look tired,’ she commented.
‘No,’ he disagreed, even though he knew he looked like hell. ‘You’ve got Ms Hill’s details. Any problems that Guest Services can’t handle just call her.’
‘Why can’t I just call you? What if I—?’
‘Grace.’ He halted her right then and there. ‘I’ve told you I don’t take unscheduled calls during working hours. If there’re any issues while I’m away then call Ms Hill, because you won’t be able to get hold of me.’
She was tempted to ask, Am I to tell Ms Hill if I get my period? But she just lay back on the pillow, telling herself she wasn’t even late yet.
He snapped on his heavy watch and frowned when he saw the time. ‘There won’t be any internet,’ he told her. ‘At least not if we go into the desert.’
‘I thought it was just the palace?’
‘There are some desert abodes he wants me to look at.’ He shook his head. ‘They look pre-biblical.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Apparently so. Sahir thinks they’ll work better than a tent for his retreats.’ He went to the safe to collect his passport. ‘I’m going to—’ He halted, suddenly feeling the silk of the pouch, then just grabbed his passport and turned around. ‘It depends how quickly the council decide. I’d better go.’
‘Sure.’
He picked up the plans and she pursed her lips as the man who had made such thorough love to her last night went to walk out through the door.
And then she reminded herself of his warning that they would never be close. She lay back on the pillow, feeling the tension in her own lips, holding back from telling him that she expected...
What did she expect? Grace chided herself.
Better than this!
And Grace was suddenly angry. She wasn’t asking for love, or affection, just for him not to leave her feeling discarded.
Grace pulled on her robe and ventured out of the bedroom, saw the breakfast waiting for her. Bypassing it, she wrenched open the door.
‘Carter...’
He was standing at the elevator when she walked down to him in her robe, still tying it.
‘What?’
‘You forgot something?’
He frowned. Had the audacity to check the inside pocket of his jacket.
‘Back in the suite,’ Grace said, her voice shaking with anger.
Because if he thought they could make love all night and then he did not even have to tell her his return date on the way out, then he could forget it.
‘I get that it’s a sham,’ Grace told him, before the elevator doors closed, ‘but if you don’t want things to fall apart in the bedroom very quickly, then you’d better damn well learn how to say goodbye properly.’
‘Poor Grace...’ He had the audacity to smile. ‘You want a kiss?’
‘Not especially.’ She stared at him. ‘But I do expect basic manners.’
He made two kissing noises. ‘See you soon, my darling...’ he mocked, turning to go.
But possibly he then saw her furious eyes, because he bent his head and kissed her hard, forcing her lips apart, pulling her in.
‘Better?’
‘Screw you.’
‘No,’ he said. ‘Neither of us are getting screwed, Grace. I have a long flight, and an important series of meetings. I haven’t got the head space to play happy families in the morning, and don’t expect me to come back bearing flowers.’ He held up his hands in exasperation. ‘What do you want? For me to pretend?’
‘No.’
‘To lie?’
‘That’s the last thing I want. I never want you to lie.’
She felt stupid. For pulling on the robe and running after him. And for not understanding that the intimacy they’d shared at night could be gone by morning. How, like a conjurer, he could whip away the cloth and leave everything standing.
Only the cloth was her heart, and she was starting to realise that she didn’t know how to give it one moment and claim it back the next. Make love with him at night and be roommates by day.
‘Grace...’
‘It’s fine. Go.’
Of course he did just that, and she stood there, tears filling her eyes.
She was scared that she was falling in love with a man incapable of love.
And worried too. Because while she wasn’t technically late, her breasts hurt like hell. Or could that just be from sex?
She would go for a swim, Grace decided, slipping off her ring and looking at the pretty glinting lights. She’d go for a swim and then head to the Batu Caves. She would not spend the day dwelling on him...
That was all she was thinking as she went to pop her ring in the safe. Her hand brushed against something cool and, widening the door, she felt her mind leap at the brief distraction of a black silk pouch. She frowned as she lifted it, saw the fabric opening, and a glint of metal.
A silver bangle was her first thought as she slipped it out and weighed it in her hand. Only it was far too chunky and there was no hinge, no give in the gap that would allow it to slip on her wrist. It was heavy, too, and quite, quite beautiful.
So lost in the mystery of it, so relieved by the temporary reprieve of thoughts of Carter was she, that she didn’t hear the door.
‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’
She jumped at the whip of his voice and swung around. ‘I just...’
She swallowed, unsure what to say. After all, she’d been caught snooping and it just wasn’t like her.
‘I don’t know,’ she admitted, trying to cram it back into the pouch. But she was all fingers and thumbs and so she just held the bangle out to him. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Just put it back.’
It was as if he didn’t even want to touch it.
‘Christ, is there no privacy?’ he demanded. ‘I would never go through your things.’
‘I wasn’t...’ Only that wasn’t strictly true, and Grace knew it...
Seeing him so angry, so defensive, she guessed the bangle was meant for someone else.
‘I hope she likes it...’ She tossed him the damn thing but he made no attempt to catch it, just stood there as it fell to the floor.
As Grace headed to the bathroom, Carter stood, eyes closed.
He held the cold metal again for the first time since he’d handed it to his brother, fighting not to look down, to trace the scratches, doing all he could not to recall Hugo’s trusting smile as he’d reached out to take it.
He’d let him down so badly...
Replacing it in the pouch, he returned it to the safe and then closed the door, breathing out as the lock bolted closed.
He was bizarrely conflicted. Because if it had been anyone else going through his property, touching something so private, he’d have had Security throw them out by now.
But he knew it had been a mistake, or just...
Some hotels were great for romance and sex but simply dreadful to have a row in, he thought. Because he could see her outline through the glass dividing door, see her back was turned. He knocked on the glass and she didn’t need to turn. He could see her strained face in the huge mirrors.
‘Grace...’
‘I wasn’t snooping...’ Her voice was shaky. ‘Well, clearly I was. But I didn’t intend to. I just...’ Her green eyes were anguished. ‘I was putting my ring away and I saw the bangle...’ She stopped. ‘I saw the pouch.’
He smiled at her honest correction. ‘I get it.’ He nodded ‘I overreacted.’
He could apologise for that and leave it there, but he knew more was required.
‘It’s not a bangle. It’s a teething ring,’ he told her. ‘It was my brother’s. It’s been in the family for years. Polished up for each baby.’
‘I’m so sorry.’ Her eyes filled up and she looked at him, ‘‘It’s lovely that you keep something of his...’
‘No, Grace,’ he corrected with a slight smile, ‘I don’t drag it around the world with me.’ His smile paled. ‘Ulat had it with him when he died.’
‘Ulat?’
‘Hugo. Ulat is what the locals call their babies for the first few months. He was just starting to be known as both. Arif goes back to the site each anniversary. It turned up last year and he gave it to me that night at the resort.’
That night .
‘Was that why you were arguing?’
‘In part.’ He nodded. ‘I told him he should have left it where it was.’
‘You don’t want it?’
‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘I don’t.’
He’d been in turmoil since it had been handed to him—the nightmares, the feeling of dread...
For years he’d settled for being numb—outwardly successful, inwardly dead.
Now he was thawing, and the agony it exposed was spreading beyond him.
Everything had changed since this teething ring had been in his possession, and he wanted it back where it belonged.
‘Arif thinks I should take it back myself.’
‘Go into the jungle?’
‘He’s offered to take me.’
‘Maybe it would help?’
‘How? I watched my family disappear before my eyes. Believe me when I say I don’t want to relive it.’
It was the first time he’d really spoken about it, and she felt her heart squeeze. ‘You saw it?’
‘I don’t know,’ he admitted. ‘I guess I must have. I should have stopped it.’
‘What were you supposed to do?’ she asked. ‘What could a child do?’
‘Kept him in the boat with me.’
‘Hugo?’
‘Believe me when I say that I was the adult in that family.’
He was still furious with them; she could feel it.
‘I was taken out of school—not just to travel but to take care of him. And I didn’t.’
‘You can’t let guilt stop you living your life.’
‘I don’t let guilt stop me,’ Carter said. ‘I’ve built the life that I want.’
She nodded, but she felt it wasn’t enough, that something should be said. But she knew Carter would not have that conversation.
‘Anyway,’ he said, ‘it’s a double apology. The reason I came back to the room was to say you were right.’ He looked at her. ‘I am not used to sharing my day with any other—calling, saying goodbye.’
‘I know.’
‘I’m new to this, too, Grace.’
She nodded.
‘I’ll try and call, and I should be back by Sunday.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Very well, I hope to see you on Sunday.’ He looked right into her eyes. ‘Preferably with no knickers on...but I’m guessing I’m not allowed to say that.’
He made her laugh even as she pushed him away, even as he blew her a kiss at the door.
‘Oh, God,’ she said, when he had safely gone.
Grace knew she was in trouble.
Big trouble.
Because she didn’t want Carter to lie and pretend that he loved her.
The more time she spent with him, the more she wanted it to be for real.
She couldn’t be falling in love with him.
That wasn’t the plan...