Chapter 23
CHAPTER 23
C ole
It’s Christmas next week. I’m not usually that bothered about Christmas, working most of it, offering to cover most of the calls over the holiday period. Except for Christmas Day; my mum would be disappointed if we didn’t all have Christmas dinner together. But this year is different, this year I want to spend some time with Johan.
I stand at the top of the stone steps to my apartment, leaning on the railing and watching him out in the paddock with Samson. I have turned his training over to Johan. He’s done really well with Barney, but I think he’ll like the challenge of teaching a new horse, and Samson will try hard for him. They look great together, both big hunks.
I didn’t know what it was like to have someone special in my life until Johan came along. I can’t really define how he managed it, but I want to please him, I want to touch him and have all of him. I always feel calmer round him; he’s a solid rock of calm in my storm of a life. My head isn’t much quieter, I don’t think that will ever happen. I don’t imagine there’s a cure for that. The only thing that helps is sex. When I can give myself over completely to the sensations and Johan can take me to the sweet spot; where I can only focus on not giving into the release for as long as possible. The feelings Johan can provoke, just from his fingers and his amazing tongue, have me half hard just thinking about them. The only thing I haven’t been able to do yet, is have him inside me. I want to, and my semi stiffness becomes harder at the thought of it, but he is big, and though he’s spent a long time on prep it’s not enough. He says it doesn’t matter, but it does to me. I know it would be amazing.
I look over again, where he and Samson are playing around in the paddock and I’m reminded of the fleeting nature of all this. I know Johan can’t stay forever; that he has to go back in a few months, that his company needs him back. We don’t talk about it, there’s no point. It doesn’t do us any good. The last time, I had a panic attack and Johan felt so guilty. I don’t want to spoil the time we have together.
Johan catches my eye and I wave at him. He starts to lead Samson back to the others in the field so I head inside to make some coffee.
“So…” I start with, as I put the mug down.
“So, what?” He takes a sip and hums his appreciation. “You make the best coffee.” Of course I do, I’ve worked out how to make it exactly how he likes it.
I haven’t answered so he looks at me.
“So Jackson and Luca are having a dinner party on New Year’s Eve.”
“Mm, I know.”
“You knew and you didn’t tell me?” I’m starting to get wound up. I thought we had gotten past this.
“I found out yesterday and I haven’t had a chance to tell you yet. Besides, I know it’s not your thing, so I wasn’t in a rush.” He has a fair point, it isn’t something that I would usually want to go to, but I glare at him anyway.
He comes round to stand in front of me. “You know you look sexy as hell when you’re all dark and broody.” He claims my mouth and I melt into him. His words are my undoing and I open my mouth to swirl my tongue with his as he hoists me up to sit on the breakfast bar. I wrap my legs around him and he grinds his hips into mine. Eventually he pulls back and frowns like there’s something he should have remembered.
“What was the so for?”
“I want to go.” I know it’s uncharacteristic of me so expect the next question.
“Are you sure?”
“I don’t think it will be loud, and I’ll know nearly everyone there. Luca’s friend Anna is coming, in fact she is throwing the dinner party. Jackson says she’s very good at them and is an amazing cook. She’s spent the last few months in Hollywood. She’s a costume designer. And Luca told me she’s bringing someone with her. Someone who has worked on the sets of most of the Marvel films.”
I pause, and he waits for me to regain my breath, rubbing his hands up and down my thighs which are still wrapped around him.
“I know, I’m being a nerdy fan, but?—”
He cuts me off with a kiss.
“I’ve never said you were a nerd. A little focussed perhaps, okay a whole lot focussed, but it’s one of the many things I like about you. It makes you very successful and skilled, especially in some areas.”
He kisses me again.
“Do you want to show me how skilled you are?” He tugs my bottom lip between his teeth and I groan against his mouth as the tingling in my body travels straight to my balls.