Chapter 21
Sawyer
Ugh, I have to drive slower than I want on the icy roads.
But it gives me time to think.
Val really doesn’t want a relationship? Doesn’t she know I’d do just about anything to be with her?
I don’t know if trying to push the idea is the right answer though.
Is it so wrong that now that I’ve had a night with her, I want more?
Except I know I’ll take whatever she wants to give me and be happy with it.
When I pull into the driveway, before I can even park my truck, Dad is waving at me from the top of his horse.
His dog, Caesar, is a black and white bullet dodging pissed off cows trying to cut the calves out.
Sophia, Ford, and Uncle Dixon are in the next corral working through the main herd separating the pairs from the rest.
“What the hell, son?” Dad’s deep voice carries through the cold air. “I don’t care where you sleep at night, but you need to be where you say you’ll be.” His brows furrow as he reins his gelding away from the fence.
I know it won’t do any good to apologize but I can’t help myself. “I’m sorry!” I yell back and trot towards the barn.
Fuck, it’s cold.
My fingers are numb by the time I finish getting the saddle on my own animal.
I need to tie him off so I can get my coat.
Dang it. It’s not in my truck. I must have left it at the bar.
At nearly a full sprint, I take the front porch mid-stride and watch in slow motion as my feet kick out from underneath me.
When I land on the slick ground, it knocks the wind out of me.
Holy shit. Not how I wanted this to go.
Dad practically teleports off Hank to appear over me.
“Are you okay?” He squats down with concern tightening his features.
“Yea,” I cough out, finally catching my breath. “Just hurt my pride.”
He tugs off his thick gloves and helps me sit up. “Are you sure? It was a hell of a fall.” His warm palm sits on my shoulder.
I guess I hit my head too, the back is throbbing. “I think so.”“Let’s go inside and have a cup of coffee.” His arm laces under mine as he half-lifts me off the ground.
“But—” I really know I screwed up if he’s pulling off work.
“Nope, we need to talk.” His gruff tone leaves no room for discussion.
Ah, crap.
It is nice to get into the heat. My damp shirt is sticking to me where I fell.
I give Lori a small wave. “Good morn—”
“Go put on something dry, then come sit with me.” Dad takes off his Carhartt and hangs it on the hook near the door.
Oh. It’s gonna be a long one.
I change pretty quickly into a thermal and cover it with a hoodie. When I go back outside, I’ll put on my other jacket and be nice and toasty.
If Dad doesn’t burn my hide first.
Lori disappears down the hall with the babies as I slink out of my room.
My cup and a full decanter of coffee are already sitting on the heavy oak table.
Dad’s callused hand extends towards the wooden chair next to him. “So, you’ve been spending all this time at the bar?”
“Yea.” I try not to look at him as I pour myself a drink.
He leans back, crossing his arms over his chest and narrows his eyes. “How much are you drinking every night? I know what it’s like to be your age. The night life can be alluring.”
My head shakes, then I take a sip, letting the scalding liquid heat my insides. “It’s not like that.”
Before I can react, he jerks forward and his fingers push my temple, exposing my neck.
“I can see what it’s like, Sawyer.” Pointing at the marks on my throat, his jaw tics.
“I’m glad you’re having fun, but don’t you dare lie to me.
” The growl sends a chill through me. “Wade came by yesterday. Told me how you tackled that asshole down, then disappeared. He also told me that there’s more out there, he just doesn’t know who. ”
Dad takes a deep breath, knitting his fingers around his coffee. “I just want to make sure you’re safe. Out partying all hours…well, it’s easy to get hurt when there’s people out there who want to.”
I hadn’t thought about that.
“I’ve been working there.” I watch him closely to gauge his reaction. “Val needed help and I wanted something different.”
His crow’s feet deepen before he drops a palm over his face. “A job? Do you need money? There’s a hell of a lot of work here—”
“Dad. I suck at farm life. I never know what the heck I’m supposed to do and always feel like I gotta be told every day like I’m five. At least there, I learned what needs done, when. I’m good at it.” I guess I ain’t warm yet, ice grips me by the balls as I wait for his response.
He takes a swallow from his cup, then nods.
“I know you don’t like ranch life. I expected one of these days you’d find something else.
I just hate that you felt you had to sneak around about it.
You’re grown, Sawyer. You’re an adult, can make your own decisions.
Shit, at your age I was already married to your mom and she was pregnant with you. ”
A rueful smile tugs up his cheek as his eyes unfocus.
I can’t imagine being a dad right now. Fuck, I was a virgin until last night.
The onslaught of memories with Val makes my cock twitch against my zipper.
“So did you meet the girl at the bar?” His tone is gentler as he glances again at my hickies.
I’m such an idiot for wanting them.
“Yea.” Should I be honest? “It’s Val.”
He coughs and blinks several times before his dark eyes widen. “Valerie? The owner?”
I just nod.
It’s a surprise when he starts to laugh. “Isn’t she a bit old for you?”
Wait, what? “Not as much as you are over Lori,” I snap.
His palm comes up. “Good point. I was just teasing. That was just…completely unexpected.”
I shrug, swirling the last of my drink in my mug. “We work together well. We get along.”
“I can see that.” He doesn’t even fight the grin. “Just do me a favor? Put your hours on the calendar so I know when you’re working. So I don’t worry with all the shit—” His hand waves in a circle. “—going on?”
“What’s going on?” Grandpa shuffles from the back hall and pulls the chair out on the other side of the table from me.
“Just the same ol’ stuff.” Dad stands and moves towards the kitchen. “Does that sound like a good plan, Sawyer?”
I catch his pointed gaze. “Yea, I can do that.” I get it.
After Mom died, he may have been distant, but he always wanted to know exactly when and where we were.
With all the undertones of trouble around here, I can understand his concern.
I never thought about it from his side.
He sets a mug in front of Grandpa, then drops his hand on my shoulder. “What do you say we go cut cows for a while? I want to get two trailers full for the sale barn trip tomorrow.” He glances up at Grandpa. “You still going with us, Dad?”
“Huh?” Grandpa looks up from pouring, dribbling some coffee over the edge. “Oh, right. Yep. It’ll be a guy’s day. Is Dix going too?”
“No, he has to work. It’ll be just us three. Well…” He pauses, squeezing me slightly where his hand rests. “Will you be here?”
I’d rather be with Val.
But she didn’t seem to want that.
How can I tamp down this craving inside my guts to see her?
“I will. They have pretty good burgers at the auction house.” I haven’t spent much time with Grandpa since I’ve been working with Val.
Listening to his old stories over and over will at least distract me from thinking about her.
For a little while.