Chapter 40
Val
The day reflects the mood.
Rain mixes with snow as we all stand around the freshly engraved markers.
Here lies.
I only met them once, but their impact shows in the solemn faces that all focus on the granite-carved names.
Sawyer clings to my hand, chewing on his lower lip as he waits his turn to say a few quiet words.
It’s been three weeks since the fire, yet the days all run together.
Mason squats in front of the stones, his palms resting on each while he bows his head silently.
I can’t even imagine what he’s going through.
When my dad died, it was after over a year of illness. We all knew it was coming.
The day itself was difficult, but there was peace knowing he wasn’t suffering anymore.
This?
Tragic. Especially knowing they were killed.
I just wish there was some sort of direction on who did it. Maybe justice would help heal the wounds that have scarred everyone here.
Sawyer’s fingers slip from mine as he steps forward, following Mason’s lead to stare silently down at the simple graves.
When he returns, he hugs me close. “I think they would have liked this.” His gaze raises to where we overlook the ranch below. “This is a good spot.”
Up here on the bluff, the wind whips the tears from our cheeks, stinging with the promise of more snow tonight.
“If everyone’s ready, we can load up.” Dixon’s voice is gruff. Knowing him for so long, I bet he’s struggling as well.
He helps everyone onto the low trailer that’s been outfitted with runners to cut through the snow.
A grim sleigh ride so soon after Christmas.
The part that’s the hardest for me is seeing Sawyer hurt.
Tonight will be rough.
Everyone is somber as we file into Dixon’s place. It’s where Mason and his family are staying until the repairs are done on the main house.
“Is there any word on contractors?” Sawyer asks Mason, dropping onto the couch next to his dad.
Mason shakes his head. “Everyone is booked up for spring already. Or doesn’t want to return my calls.” He lets out a long sigh. “We’re being labeled as ‘dangerous’ now with all the shit we’re being targeted with.”
“I’ve tried calling the guy who built my additions.” Dixon hands out glasses of bourbon like water to anyone who takes one. “He said he’d be happy to, but won’t be able to start until fall at the soonest.”
I slip to the kitchen and start unpacking all of the cold cut sandwiches I made yesterday.
There’s no way anyone would want to cook today, or should be expected to.
“Thank you again for bringing these.” Lori’s hand rests on my shoulder. Her eyes are pink from crying, but she still pulls out a stack of plates to start stacking them on.
“It’s what I’m good at.” I give her a wry smile.
I don’t tell her it’s my way of trying to fit in. That’s never been me before now.
It’s been easier to keep to myself, not let anyone in.
Except it’s impossible not to see how important having someone to lean on can really be.
“Having more than one person whose love language is making food is going to be the death of my waistline.” Sophia gives us both a broad smile.
She’s hiding her grief better than most of us.
“Try having twins,” Char grumbles as she appears from the hall, a baby on each shoulder. “Watch that belly fall to your knees.”
Sophia’s nose wrinkles. “No time soon, thank you.”
Lori’s hand moves to her own stomach, still flat in the early stages of her pregnancy. “I don’t know, I like it.”
Sophia’s elbow props on the counter as she grabs a carrot stick. “That’s because you’re like, the perfect mom.” She blows a kiss to Lori. “I’m okay with that. I love my brothers. Think you’ll have a girl this time?”
Lori’s lips purse. “Hmm. Maybe? I haven’t been sick at all this round.”
“Wait, you were before?” I pause unwrapping the sandwiches. “How bad?”
“Oh God. It was awful. I think a couple of times a day.” She opens a big bag of chips to dump into a bowl. “I mean, it was worth it, though.”
“Totally worth it,” Char adds as she comes back into the kitchen empty handed.
I glance up to see Dixon rocking the twins in the living room while he talks to Mason and Sawyer.
There’s a weird feeling that hits me, knowing I’m part of this family now.
A warmth and contentment I didn’t know I was missing.
When I notice Sawyer’s gaze, fixed on me, I give him a wink.
As I watch his features soften and the love in his eyes, I know the truth.
I’m hooked. They’re stuck with me.
“I guess Elena’s got it now, too,” Sophia continues. “April was telling me that the last time they got together, she had to get up twice to puke.”
“That poor girl,” Lori sighs. “I don’t wish that on anyone.”
Char picks up a slice of apple from the pile. “We should try ginger in the garden this year. I mean, since we all keep having so many babies.” Her smile shows a glint in her eyes.
“Who else is?” Sophia looks from her to me.
I hold up my palms. “Not me.”
Yet.
Char’s grin grows. “Well…”
Sophia’s squeal draws everyone’s eyes.
But Dixon rocks back, a knowing smirk ticking up his mustache.
“Did I miss something?” Mason stands, coming to the counter to carry one of the plates of food to the table.
Sawyer’s right behind him, his brows knotted.
“You’re going to be an uncle again.” Sophia hugs her dad.
His frown shifts to surprise, then the corner of his mouth rises. “That’s the best news ever.”
After everyone has settled with a plate, I’m popping a chip in my mouth when an idea hits me. “What about that guy who was married to that crazy deputy? I can’t remember his name.”
“Who?” Sawyer turns, his cheek comically full of bread.
“Oliver something.” I can see him in my head, but not the credit card.
Sophia chokes. “That guy is a dick.”
“Is that the one from the parking lot?” Sawyer points to her. “He was all up in Wade’s face.”
“Uh huh. Oliver Brookes. Asshole extraordinaire,” she mutters.
“Didn’t he do the demo on my old house?” Char glances between the siblings.
“Yep,” Dixon grunts. “He actually did a great job. I’ll give him a call in the morning.”
“Great,” Sophia drawls, rolling her blue eyes.
“Just because he has an attitude, doesn’t mean he can’t do the work.” Mason gives her a stern look.
“Yea, Soph. You got enough for everyone here at this table, yet still get stuff done.” Sawyer grins at his sister.
I try not to laugh.
They banter like Scotty and I.
“Ha. Ha. I’m so glad rodeo season starts soon so I won’t have to be here.” She pokes the tip of her tongue out at him.
I’m glad Sawyer isn’t that bratty.
Then again, it would be fun to spank him.
“Hey, Dad?” Sawyer glances at me, squeezing my thigh under the table. “Do you think while the contractor is here, we could talk about him building out on my plot, too?”
Mason’s hand stops midway to his mouth. “For your house?” His amber eyes flick between us.
“Yep.” Sawyer’s grip on my leg tightens. “We’re getting married this spring.”
We are?
As if he could read my thoughts, his gaze meets mine. “I don’t want to wait,” he murmurs.
My head tilts as I stare at him.
He generally isn’t the one to take charge.
But this time, I like it.
“I don’t either,” I admit, leaning to press my lips to his.
“Congratulations, son.” Mason’s smile is genuine.
“Wild,” Sophia exhales. “Think you’ll be a dad and a grandpa in the same year?” Her laugh cackles over all of us.
“My dad left pretty big shoes to fill as Grandpa.” Mason’s grin fades as his jaw clenches. “But I can’t wait to try.” Then he nods to Sawyer. “Absolutely. We can break ground on it as soon as it thaws.”
As we’re walking back to the truck, Sawyer loops his arm through mine, then spins me to a stop.
Chewing on his lip, he looks over my head, blinking rapidly before dropping his gaze to me. “I’m sorry I put you on the spot.”
“We’ve already talked about it, baby.” I cup his cheek tenderly. “We both know it’s going to happen, we just hadn’t picked a date.”
But then he takes a step backwards, and falls to his knees in the icy mud in front of me.
When he pulls out the tiny black box from his pocket, tears flood my vision.
“I want to do this right,” he stammers. “I love you so fucking much. I don’t know if today was a good choice to do this, but you’re my light in the dark, my hope against the pain.”
He peels the lid open to reveal the cluster of small diamonds inset into a silver ring.
His words all begin to rush together. “I made sure they were set smooth enough so they won’t catch on anything. There’s twelve to show how many months of the year I’ll worship you. I just don’t want to go another day without—”
I press my finger to the bottom of his chin, tilting his face up. “Yes, Sawyer.”
Wrapping his arms around my waist, he tucks his cheek against my belly.
“I just…I just don’t want to lose you. Uncle Dixon said that Grandma and Grandpa died peacefully in their sleep.
” He raises his head to look at me. “That’s what I want with you.
Surrounded by our kids and grandkids, happy and together. ”
“I’ve never had death sound so romantic,” I laugh. “Come on and get up. We can celebrate later.” I’m antsy to get home to reveal my own surprise.
He jumps up, mud plastering his jeans, to kiss me fiercely before we climb in the truck.
When we pull in the parking lot of the bar, there’s already a car there waiting.
“Scotty?” Sawyer parks, then hops out.
Watching him embrace my brother with a broad smile makes my heart beat faster.
“What are you doing here?” Sawyer asks as he opens the door to the bar.
“Val said today was gonna be rough, so I brought us the new Black Ops game to play.” Scott waves a plastic case proudly. “I figured it might help.”
“I’ll get you two a drink.” I’m not sure if they heard me over their excited chatter.
It’s like they’re both teenagers again.
Maybe I should feel guilty pouring them each a whiskey smash.
Whew. That mint is extra tangy. The cloying smell sticks to my fingers.
When they each reach for their drinks, Sawyer stops Scott before he takes a sip.
“Hey, I got a question for you.” Sawyer’s lip drops into a frown.
“Sure, buddy. What’s up?” Scott begins to raise his glass, but pauses.
“I was wondering if you’d be my best man?” Sawyer raises his eyebrows, watching my brother intently.
Hell, I’m zeroed in on what the reaction will be too.
Scott’s been slow to warm up to my relationship with Sawyer, but when I asked him about coming down to lighten the mood tonight, he seemed pretty enthusiastic.
“Seriously?” His face is neutral.
Shit. This better not go—
“I’d be honored, man.” Scott raises his drink to take a long swallow. “Hell, I guess we’ll finally be real brothers.” His grin melts the tension. “When is it?”
Sawyer turns to me with that damn panty-melting burn. “As soon as possible.”
Scotty groans. “We gotta have a bachelor party. Vegas? I always wanted to do one there.”
“Nah. Tonight will work. This is what I’d rather do. Play a few games, hang with you, then snuggle with my fiance.” Sawyer’s lip rolls between his teeth as he mouths the word again towards me.
“Gross. Boring. Boo!” Scotty throws up his hand in feigned disgust. “Whatever! I always knew you’d be a stick in the mud.” He points at Sawyer’s legs. “Literally.”
“Jesus, you’re being more dramatic than Sophia.” I roll my eyes. “Maybe we should just elope?”
Dixon and Char did it.
So did Wade and Elena.
They’re just as married.
“Mom would fucking kill you,” Scotty laughs. “There’s no way she’d want to miss her favorite kid getting hitched.”
That makes me snort. “I’m not her favorite.”
He shakes his head. “Neither am I. But he is.” He lightly jabs Sawyer’s shoulder with his fist. “The chosen one.”
I drop my elbow on the bar top and put a dreamy drift on my face. “Well, he is pretty perfect.”
“Oh my god, save it for the honeymoon,” Scotty moans. “Come on, Sawyer, let’s go kill some shit.”
Sawyer looks torn until I shoo him away. Then he tears after Scotty up the back stairs.
I think this is how things are supposed to be.
Chris hated my brother.
Sawyer is at the complete other end.
He’s already a part of the family, now we’re just making it official.