Epilogue
Sawyer
The earth rumbles with the heavy excavator lowering itself from the massive flat deck trailer.
Oliver twists in the seat to look behind him before swinging the massive yellow boom and bucket in a long arc.
“Jesus, those are loud.” Ford props his foot on the fence next to me and watches the grating metal tracks carry the machine down the lane.
When it turns off and takes the first scoop of dirt out for my new driveway, I get a rush of excitement.
“Fuck, yea,” I exhale into the warm air. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“What? Growing up?” He slaps my shoulder.
“You’re doing great, kid.” Turning his back to the lumbering equipment, he spends a moment watching his wife and Lori in the garden.
“Hell, you’re ahead of me. Took me my whole damn life to start figuring shit out.
You’re taking after your dad, got your head on right. ”
That’s a pretty big compliment from Ford.
“Thanks.” It’s overwhelming sometimes.
A wife. A baby on the way. Now a new house.
“What if I’m not enough?” I say quietly, not really sure if I’m even talking to him.
He loops his elbow over one of the fence rails and pins me with his unsettling gray eyes.
“You just do your best, Sawyer. That’s all any of us are doing.
It’s the secret to adulthood,” he chuckles wryly.
“Keep putting one foot in front of the other and hope we don’t break our fucking legs along the way. ”
“Is that a Confucius saying?” I raise one brow as I side-eye him.
“Nah, it’s a Ford-ism.” He pushes away and kicks at a clod of cow shit in the grass. “Your dad was looking for you. Told him I’d send you his direction.”
A second bucket of earth gets peeled away and dumped to the side.
Holy shit, it’s becoming real.
Crossing the yard, I head towards the main house.
I know he’s spent every extra minute working on repairs. Hell, most of my days are in there too.
There’s still a lingering smoke smell when I first walk in, but it’s getting less as the damaged spots have been torn away and new walls and paint put in.
“Dad?” I call out.
This place is too big to go looking.
“Back here.” His voice carries from the direction of my old room.
It looks so different than it did before Christmas.
The sheetrock has almost all been replaced and every scrap of anything I’d owned is gone.
Luckily, I had pretty much moved out before the fire.
“How’s it going out there?” He glances down at me from on top of a ladder where he’s threading wires for a new ceiling fan.
“Good, I guess. He got the Cat unloaded and is starting on the driveway.” I try to play it cool, but inside I’m dying to run back outside and watch.
Dad’s mouth tilts. “Glad to hear. I have to admit, I’m pretty happy you decided to stay here. You know that house offer would have stood no matter where you chose to land?”
“Yea, you told me that.” I start picking up some of the odd garbage that’s appeared.
Empty boxes, plastic packaging, and other crap.
“I remember you telling me a few times you couldn’t wait to leave.” He sets down his tool and climbs down. “Let’s go have a cup of coffee.”
Shit. Did I mess something up?
Following him to the kitchen, he grabs two mugs from the cupboard and fills them, then gestures for me to sit.
“I didn’t want to leave. I just wanted to find something different.” I twist my cup nervously while I watch him.
“I get it. I’m glad you seemed to have found what you’re looking for.” He leans back with a groan, kicking his feet out to the side. “That’s why I wanted to talk. You know this ranch was originally Grandma and Grandpa’s?”
A sharp pain stabs into my chest at the mention. “Yea.”
“They split it into three equal shares. One for me, Dixon, and Cade. After your mom died—” He clears his throat.
How does he deal with the loss?
I would be broken if anything happened to Val.
Just the thought makes me see Dad in a whole new light.
He did break. I remember it.
There were times when I was frustrated with him, almost hated him some days when he would drift away.
I used to think the ranch was more important to him than we were.
But I know now. He was just doing what he could to survive.
Fuck.
That hurts.
He worked despite all of that pain and grief.
I would be a shell. An empty husk.
“—anyways. After that whole shit, they revised the trust to be just Dixon and me.” He runs his palm over his face.
“My part will be split evenly amongst all of my kids. But, Sawyer—” He leans closer, crossing his arms on the table.
“—you’re going to need to learn all of this.
You can run this place probably better than me.
Your sister and I had a conversation a couple of weeks ago, and she doesn’t want the responsibility.
She said she’d defer to you, if you took over. ”
His lips flatten and the muscle on the side of his jaw starbursts up to his temple. “After the fire, it made me realize just how fast all of this can change.”
I’ll never forget that night.
It’s burned into me deeper than any brand.
He takes a deep breath. “If something happens to me—”
“That won’t happen, Dad.” I don’t even want to think about it.
“Stop. You saw exactly how fast things can change. That’s why I want to make sure this place still runs. I’m asking you to step up. Not just for yourself, but the rest of your family.”
“My family,” I repeat.
“Yes. Besides Sophia, you have two younger brothers and a sister on the way.” His cheek tugs up. “So you have a lot of people who are very special to me depending on you,” he says quietly.
Through all the years, I never once doubted his love for us.
“Val’s pregnant,” I blurt.
He freezes, then his eyes widen over a broad smile. “No shit?”
All I can do is nod. Every time I think about it I choke up.
Rising out of his chair, he wraps me in a fierce hug. “You made my day, son. You’re going to make an amazing father.”
“Thanks.” I hadn’t planned on telling him today, but I’m glad I did.
When he sits back down, tears rim his lower lids. “Your mom would be so excited. Lori is going to be ecstatic. I can’t wait to tell her she’s going to be a grandma,” he laughs.
“I guess I need to start taking things seriously.” I take a sip of my coffee, then go back to twirling the mug.
“This can be the best life, or the worst. It just depends on how you look at it.” He squints at me.
“There were times in my life when I thought it was hell. The only reason I hung on was for you and your sister.” His pointed stare tells me much more than the words alone.
“There’s going to be some absolutely awful days.
” He gestures at the pile of paint cans near the door, a powerful reminder of how suddenly tragedy can hit.
“But then there’s moments like this when it’s all worth it. ”
I don’t know how he pushes through.
Maybe it really is like Ford said, one foot after the other.
“What do I need to do?” This ranch is huge, with employees and equipment that I could never fully learn.
“We’ll start by getting the paperwork going, adding your name to the important stuff like the brand and changing your status on the trust. Then I need you. No more balking out of meetings or dragging your feet about dealing with customers. They need to learn who you are and what you represent.”
My lip rolls between my teeth. “Okay.”
I’m going to be a father. I better start acting like I have a damn clue.
The main door slams open and Sophia rushes in breathlessly.
“Sawyer, thank God. I need to talk to you.” She runs up to me and grabs my elbow.
“We’re having a conversation,” Dad growls.
She glances frantically between us. “This will only take a few minutes, I swear.” Then she pulls again. “Come on.”
I look at Dad, apologizing with a look. “I’m ready, but I’ll be right back.” Rising, I let her drag me outside.
“What the hell is going on?” I grumble at her.
She jabs her arm out, pointing to the mechanic shop. “Please?”
“Fine.” I let her lead me in through the heavy doors and up the dusty stairs.
“It’s hotter than hell up here.” I toss myself onto the wooden bench and lift my t-shirt to fan myself.
“This won’t take long.” She sits in her rocking chair, scratching it across the floor to get closer. “I have an emergency.”
“What? This better be good or I’m gonna be pissed.” I scowl at her.
“Geez, you sound like a dad.” Her nose wrinkles.
“Because I’m going to be one soon. Val is pregnant.” I suppose I’m just telling everyone today.
She pulls back with wildly wide eyes. “No shit?”
Then she rocks forward, slapping her thighs. “Me too.”
I blink at her for a moment, not quite registering what she said.
“Wait, what?” Shaking my head, I don’t think I heard what I think I heard.
“Yep. I am with child.” She tosses up her hands, then leaps to her feet and starts pacing the small space.
I scratch the back of my neck that’s already getting sticky with sweat. “Who’s the father? I didn’t even know you were seeing someone.”
“I’m not! I mean, I haven’t.” She stops in front of me. “Don’t you see? That’s the problem!”
“What the fuck are you even saying?” Why does none of that gibberish make sense?
“Soph—” My breath catches as my thoughts turn sour. “—did someone hurt you?”
Rage rushes through my limbs.
But her palms fly up. “No, I’m fine. I asked him to—”
“Who, Sophia?” I grit out.
Her hands fall to her sides and her shoulders slump. “I don’t know.”