Chapter 19 #2
After today, Bobby accepted that she couldn’t continue doing her job.
Her pregnancy would have to be made public before gossip spread.
That ought to answer the question of why the doctor’s wife was driving her around.
Thank goodness she had dissuaded Ernie from bringing her home though.
That could have given rise to some very awkward rumours.
There was a letter for Charlie on the mat, as well as a couple from Bobby’s correspondents in the forces: one from Don Sykes, down south with the Pioneer Corps, and another from John Ellis, a Wykeness friend.
Nothing from Jake again. Her head throbbing, Bobby threw them on to the coffee table unopened.
Poor Charlie, she thought as she examined her wan face and hollow eyes in the mirror.
It had been a long journey for him, and a solemn task he’d had to perform.
No doubt he was looking forward to coming home to a neat, jolly wife, not this spectre.
There wasn’t enough rouge in the world to give her the appearance of health after the day she’d had.
And how she had felt today was how Charlie felt much of the time.
Bobby had witnessed several of what the doctor called his anxiety attacks.
She had pitied him with her whole heart, but she hadn’t fully understood how he must feel.
Now she knew. That sensation of losing control, of lifeforce being sapped, of utter helplessness and a fear that could never be quelled – how could he bear it?
Bobby tried to do as Dr Minchin had advised, although it was difficult to force a meal down.
The sick feeling had gone, but she was still in a highly nervous state and it had killed her appetite.
She was eating for Marmaduke too, though, she reminded herself.
He hadn’t had any sustenance since her supper of bread and dripping the evening before.
The doctor was right: she needed to take better care of them both.
With an effort, Bobby managed a bowl of soup and a slice of bread.
Then she went into the bedroom to rest as the doctor had said.
The mattress was still covered in ink, but she had no energy to deal with that.
She only barely had energy to remove her clothes.
Once she was in her nightie, she lay on the stained, sheetless mattress and threw one blue-mottled cover over her.
Still she worried about Marmaduke’s lack of movement. The doctor said his heartbeat was strong and healthy, but then why didn’t he move? He couldn’t be sleeping all the while, surely.
For an hour Bobby lay with her nightdress hitched up and one hand on her belly, alert to any movement, but there was nothing. Eventually, she fell into a restless sleep.
Bobby awoke to the sound of the front door being unlocked.
Charlie was home! How long had she slept? She pulled her nightie over her belly.
It was completely dark now. She must have been asleep for hours, although she didn’t feel rested.
She had so wanted to make herself neat for Charlie, take some of the pallor from her cheeks and prepare his special tea.
Now she would have to meet him in her nightdress, looking like the ghost of Old Mother Riley.
‘Bob?’ she heard him call. He sounded weary, as she would expect. Bobby went out to him.
‘In bed already?’ he said with a wan smile, sliding his stick into the umbrella stand. ‘You might have waited for me.’ He frowned when he took in her appearance. ‘But something’s wrong. What is it, darling?’
Bobby couldn’t help herself. She threw herself into his arms and burst into tears.
‘Bobby, what is it?’ he asked in alarm. ‘Is it the baby?’
‘No… no,’ Bobby gasped through her tears. It felt like the crying fit she’d been holding back had finally broken through the floodgates, and now there was no keeping it in. ‘I’ve just been… so frightened. I’m sorry, Charlie. I didn’t mean to scare you.’
‘Go and lie down. You look awful. I’ll join you in a minute.’
‘Yes. All right.’
Bobby did as he said. She felt guilty that the house was so dark and cheerless, but what she mainly felt was relieved, because Charlie was here and nothing bad could happen when Charlie was here. Yet still she couldn’t stop crying.
She pulled the covers over her and hugged her knees. Charlie joined her a moment later, now divested of his coat, hat and shoes.
‘Now tell me all about it,’ he said, gathering her in his arms. He didn’t seem to notice all the ink, his attention was so wrapped up in her.
‘Charlie, I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I was going to have everything nice for you. I had a whole plan.’ She sniffed. ‘There’s salmon and… and beer. I ought to have had it ready.’
‘Never mind that. It’s you I care about, not salmon. Tell me what happened.’
‘It’s all right. Dr Minchin says it’s nothing to worry about. But the baby stopped moving, and I was really scared he might be… you know.’
‘Did you see the doctor?’
‘Yes, I ran away early from work then had a funny turn on the road. I couldn’t move for trembling and retching. If it hadn’t been for Ernie King and his Air Force truck, I might be there still.’
‘Oh my God!’ Charlie held her back, looking frightened. ‘Are you going to be all right? What did the doctor say?’
‘He said it was an anxiety attack, like the ones you have. I’d got myself worked up into such a state that it affected my nerves. I’m not ill, and Dr Minchin says the baby’s fine. A good, strong heartbeat.’
Charlie still looked worried. ‘But he’s not moved since then?’
‘I still can’t feel him,’ Bobby whispered. ‘The doctor said I’d probably become desensitised. He wants me to ring him tomorrow if there’s no change though.’
‘Let me feel.’
Bobby lowered her knees for Charlie to rest his head on her stomach. Almost as soon as he did, there was a kick strong enough to make her shudder.
‘Oh!’ Bobby laughed through her tears. ‘Oh my goodness! Charlie, did you feel that?’
‘I couldn’t fail to.’ Charlie lifted his head and rubbed his face. ‘Socked me right in the jaw. Me and that boy will be having words.’
Bobby once again burst into tears, but these were tears of relief.
‘He really is all right,’ she whispered. ‘Oh, Charlie…’
He shuffled up to kiss her.
‘There now,’ he said softly, wiping away her tears with his thumb-tip. ‘I’m here, and I won’t leave you again until Marmaduke’s safely with us. I’m so sorry I went away, Bob.’
‘You were right to go. But… do you know what I think?’
‘What?’
She smiled damply. ‘I think Marmaduke was sulking about you being gone. The last time I remember him moving was yesterday morning, when you said goodbye, and then he was still the whole time you were away. He must have been missing his dad.’
‘A fine way to show it, I must say,’ Charlie said, rubbing his jaw.
‘That proves he must be a man in the making, if he’s throwing sulks about not getting his way.’
‘You’ve not been well so I’ll let that comment pass. But just you wait until it’s two boys against one girl around here.’
Bobby held him tight. ‘I’m so glad everything’s all right. I thought if anything had happened to the baby, it would be my fault for not giving up work like you wanted me to.’
‘And now?’ Charlie said softly.
She sighed. ‘Yes, I have to. Dr Minchin said it wouldn’t do me any harm to work from home, but I shouldn’t be on my feet too much in my last few months. Besides, it’s getting too hard to hide it now. Two people in the last two days have guessed the secret.’
‘Which two people?’
‘Jolka and Ernie. I’m not sure Mary doesn’t suspect too, and there’s bound to be talk among the neighbours after they saw Mrs Minchin bringing me home. I don’t want gossip spreading before I’ve told the family. We’ll announce it tomorrow at dinner, shall we?’
Charlie frowned. ‘Did you say Ernie King knows?’
‘He knows for sure now, but he already suspected.’ She smiled tremulously. ‘Oh, he was a saint today, Charlie, when he found me in trouble. You must shake his hand and buy him a drink when you see him.’
‘I will. It sounds like he did our little family a big favour.’ For the first time, Charlie seemed to notice the ink-stained bed. ‘Bobby, what on earth has happened to our sheets?’
‘Ugh. I fell asleep writing a piece for work and my fountain pen leaked,’ Bobby said, pushing her hair away from her overheated face.
‘I was going to sort out fresh linen before you got home. And I was going to light the fire and press your suit for the wedding tomorrow and make salmon sandwiches…’ She sighed, resting her head on his chest. ‘I’m so sorry.
I got some treats on points especially to give you a good welcome home, then I had such a day that all I did was sleep. ’
‘It sounds like you needed it.’ He kissed her forehead. ‘I’ll build the fire and make some food. You stay here. I’m going to make sure you rest and eat properly from now on, if I have to watch you every minute.’
‘I’ll make the food. Honestly, I’m a lot better now Marmaduke’s back to his wriggly self – only a little washed out. If you feel up to building the fire, though, that will help. I got you a jug of beer from the Hart, and a pack of the cigarettes you like.’
He blinked. ‘Beer and cigarettes as well as salmon? You’re certainly the Lady Bountiful tonight. You shouldn’t spend money on luxuries for me when we need to be counting our pennies.’
‘Don’t worry, I didn’t take it out of the weekly budget. My aunt sent me a ten-shilling postal order for my birthday, so it’s bonus money.’
Bobby crossed her fingers under the covers, hoping God would forgive the fib. She would tell Charlie everything when the time was right, but that time wasn’t now.
‘Still, we ought to save as much as we can, even if it’s unexpected,’ Charlie said.
‘I know, but surely a few treats are allowed sometimes. I didn’t want you to come home to brown bread and margarine after seeing your friend.’ She took in his tired, solemn looks. ‘How was he?’ she asked softly.
‘Let’s get our chores done before I tell you about it. I don’t want you cold and hungry when you’ve not been well.’