Chapter 35
Bobby knew it was no use remonstrating further. The captain had made up his mind, and she had no idea what she could say to alter that.
She almost walked into Tony going over the bridge – or more accurately, he almost walked into her. In fact he almost knocked her over. Her brother-in-law looked a million miles away, his brow furrowed in thought.
‘Oh.’ He stopped short before he careered into her. ‘Sorry, Bob. Didn’t see you.’
He looked tired, but not sad particularly. Perhaps wistful.
Bobby knew from Lilian that the two were no longer sharing a bed. Tony himself had been the one to move his things into the nursery, while Annie went to share with her mother. Lil had confided to Bobby that she was unable to see Tony’s absence from her at night as anything other than a blessing.
‘Are you all right?’ Bobby asked him.
‘Hmm?’ Tony’s attention seemed to have wandered as he gazed out over the beck. ‘Pretty here this time of year, isn’t it?’
‘Um, yes. Are you all right?’ she asked again. ‘You look… strange.’
‘Fine. Fine.’
‘Have you been somewhere?’
‘Bradford. Man I needed to see there about summat. Been to see your sister, have you?’
‘No, I was taking Florrie home. I found her wandering in the graveyard, all upset.’
‘What’s she upset about?’
Bobby sighed. ‘The captain’s moving them back to London. You know, because of… well, you know. I tried talking to him, but I couldn’t get him to reconsider.’
‘Taking them to London?’ Tony said, frowning.
‘Yes. It’ll break Mary’s heart if they go.’
‘Lil’s too, I reckon. She loves them kids nearly as much as she loves her own.’
‘We’d all miss them. They’re part of the family.’ Bobby looked at him. ‘I don’t suppose you’d consider talking to George and trying to smooth things over, would you?’
‘Huh. I’d make it worse. He don’t think much of me.’
‘You could try.’
‘Aye, I could.’ Tony fell silent for a moment. ‘Parry was never the cause of the thing, I know that now. He was only ever a symptom. Mind, I’m not going to apologise about his nose. He deserved it.’
‘That’s what he says too. But you might be able to find some way to move on from this, for the family’s sake.’
Tony went to the edge of the bridge and leaned on it as he looked out over the beck. It was chattering merrily after a heavy fall of spring rain, and there was a fresh, mossy smell in the air.
‘Sorry I shouted at you that night, Bob,’ he said. ‘You know I’ve always thought you were all right. I’m even fond of you, in a way.’
‘Never mind about me. I’m not important.’
‘Funny you still talking to me,’ he murmured without looking at her. ‘Never thought you’d look at me again after what happened.’
‘I wasn’t sure I would either.’ Bobby went to stand by him, inhaling the scents of early spring.
‘It really was an accident.’
‘It was an accident that didn’t need to happen.’ She shook her head. ‘I never thought you could’ve been so rough with someone you claim to love. I could have forgiven the rest of it, but that…’
‘I was always disgusted at the sort of man who could hit a woman,’ he said quietly. ‘Lil don’t look at me the same now. Happen I don’t deserve her to.’ His face took on a determined expression. ‘But I’ll be a better man from now on, I swear it.’
‘I’ve heard that before, Tony.’
‘I know, and I tried. I did try, Bob, after I found out about the baby. If I’d only been able to make Lil love me, maybe I could’ve stuck it.’
‘What made you fall in love with her? I’ve always wondered.’
He shrugged. ‘Well, there was a baby coming, wasn’t there?’
‘I didn’t ask what made you marry her. I asked what made you fall for her. You two are so different.’
Tony watched the beck in thoughtful silence.
‘I never amounted to much, did I?’ he said quietly. ‘I do know that. Honestly, Bob, I couldn’t believe my luck the day your sister told me she was expecting and needed me to step up for her. That made me… made me someone, you know?’
‘So you loved her because she needed you?’
‘Not only that. My mam and dad made a rough job of bringing up me and my brother. Never cared much about us, I reckon, and they hated each other. I thought that Lil and the baby were my chance to do better.’ He paused. ‘I loved her because I wanted someone to love, and she was mine.’
Bobby sighed. ‘I’m sorry, Tony.’
‘I was wasting my time though, wasn’t I? She’d never have been able to forget how it all started. And now this has happened…’ He closed his eyes. ‘Well, it is what it is. But for my daughter’s sake, I want to do better. I will do better.’
Bobby put a hand on his arm. ‘If you mean it, you might start by having a man-to-man talk with the captain. With your voice this time, not your fists. You’re the only one who can make him change his mind.’
‘Aye, I will. No point both of us buggering off.’
Bobby frowned. ‘What do you mean, both of you?’
He finally turned to face her, his eyes filled with weary resignation. ‘I’m off, Bob. That’s what I was in Bradford for today. In two weeks, I’ll be leaving here. I don’t suppose Reg will cry too much at losing me from the mag.’
‘I don’t understand. You’re not leaving Lil?’
‘I think we both know Lil left me a long time ago, if I ever had her,’ he said with a sad smile.
‘No point kidding myself about it till we’re two old people sharing a house and hating each other, like my parents.
Some things you can’t move on from, Bobby.
For her sake and mine, I have to let her go. ’
‘But they’re your family, Tony!’ Bobby stared at him in disbelief. ‘I can’t believe you’d abandon Lil and the baby, after everything the three of you have been through.’
‘I’m not abandoning them. I’ll send money to support them – a fair bit more than she gets in housekeeping now, once I start work. Pay’s not much but it’s better than here.’
‘You’ve got another job?’
‘Aye. Pioneer Corps.’
‘You’re joining the army? I thought you couldn’t serve because of your asthma.’
He snorted. ‘Told you that, didn’t I? Told you a lot of things – you and others. No wonder your sister can’t respect me.’
‘I don’t understand, Tony.’
‘The night our Annie was born, I told you I’d done things I was ashamed of. I thought God must be punishing me by taking Lil. Remember?’
‘I remember.’
‘Well, this was the worst. The quack who did my medical said I wouldn’t be A1 because of my asthma but he could certify me fit for home front duties with the Pioneers.
I’d just got my job at the Courier.’ Tony was quiet for a long time, watching the beck.
‘Told the doc I’d rather stay as I was. Hinted I’d make it worth his while.
Risky but I’d heard he might be bent. Well, so he was. ’
‘You bribed an army doctor to get out of serving?’ Bobby stared at him. ‘My God, Tony.’
‘Aye, now you’re disgusted. Don’t wonder, after your Charlie nearly died for this thing.’
‘So you told them what you did? That means prison, surely.’
‘No, I just asked for another medical. They’ll review exemption cases if you ask, now they’re desperate for men.
’ He swallowed. ‘Late to start doing the right thing, I guess. I don’t suppose she’ll ever respect me – Lil.
I know now she’ll never love me. But that little baby loves me.
When I see her smiling at me, her eyes full of trust…
I want Annie to respect me, Bob. I want her growing up proud to carry my name.
That’s why I’m going. Not for Lil. For her. ’
His face was working with emotion. Bobby put a hand on his arm.
‘I think… that’s the right thing to do,’ she said gently.
‘I know it is.’ Tony roused himself. ‘I’ll talk to Parry.
Happen he’ll reconsider when he knows I’m going.
And after a bit, if Lil wants to make a change, she can cite desertion or adultery or whatever she wants.
Put it all on me, I don’t care. I guess I deserve it, after the way I pressed her into marriage.
Bound to be gossip but she’ll get along all right if folk think I’m the one to blame.
Divorce don’t bring the shame it did ten year ago. ’
‘I’m so sorry it had to end this way.’
‘So am I. I did hope she might learn to love me. It took this business with Parry to make me realise she never would.’ He turned to look at her. ‘But I’m not sorry. We did it for Annie. If it ends in divorce, my daughter can still hold her head up. That’s all I wanted.’
Bobby summoned a smile. ‘I’ll miss you, Tony. It won’t be the same here without you to beat at darts.’
‘Will you write to me? Tell me how Annie’s getting on? I won’t half miss her. I don’t suppose Lil’ll want any more contact with me than necessary once I’m off.’
‘I’m sure she’ll always want you involved with your daughter, whatever else might happen.’
‘Still, I’d rather hear from you,’ Tony said. ‘It’ll hurt Lil to write, and it’ll hurt me to hear from her. Tell me all about my little girl, all right? Don’t let her forget me. I trust you, Bob. You’ve always tried to do what’s right, which is more than I ever did.’
‘I won’t ever let her forget she’s got a dad who loves her.’ Bobby squeezed his arm. ‘Goodbye, Tony Scott. And good luck.’
There was a formal goodbye two weeks later, as Tony prepared to leave for basic training. The family lined up outside the cow house: Bobby, Charlie, Rob, Reg and Mary. Out of respect for the Scotts, Captain Parry had decided it was best if he and his daughters stayed away.
The situation with the Parrys had been resolved, although no one was sure what had been said – not even Lilian. All anyone knew was that Tony had called on his erstwhile love rival, and after he emerged, all plans involving relocation to London had been scrapped.
The official story was that Tony had secured a place in the Pioneers after demanding a further medical to see if there had been any improvement in his chest. No one except Bobby knew how he had dodged his duty years ago, and she had no intention of sharing it with anyone.
Tony was doing the right thing now. There was no cause to bring shame on either him or, by association, his wife and child.
No one had been told that Tony’s departure also signified the end of his marriage. That would come later, when claims could be made of desertion or infidelity to smooth the way for a divorce. But it seemed to be tacitly understood by the people present today that this was what was happening.
Tony emerged from the cow house, suitcase in hand, looking bashful in his new uniform. Lilian followed with the baby. She looked as though she had been crying. So did Tony.
‘Now, Tony, have you got your tea and sandwiches?’ Lilian asked, fussing round him as she brushed imaginary specks from his uniform.
Rob laughed. ‘He’s not off to a Home Guard parade this time, our Lil.’ He came forward to shake his son-in-law’s hand. ‘Good luck, lad. About time you joined the ranks of the proper soldiers. You’ll miss your stripe, though, eh?’
Tony summoned a smile. ‘I’ll soon get another one.’
‘See you do. And now I’ve to find another mug to help me get my traps up, I suppose. You’ll be missed, son.’
‘Aye,’ Reg said, coming forward to take his turn at shaking hands. ‘I’ve only got half a ruddy magazine for next month, for a start. Going to cost me a fortune in freelance fees. Still, I reckon you’ll make a better soldier than a writer.’
Tony laughed. ‘Doesn’t sound like much of a compliment, Reg.’
‘Depends what sort of a soldier you make, don’t it?’
After everyone had wished Tony luck, Lilian handed the baby to Bobby so she could embrace her husband.
‘Goodbye, Lil,’ Bobby heard Tony whisper. ‘I’m sorry for everything. I hope… well, I hope you’ll be happy.’
‘I’m sorry too.’ She held him back to look into his face. ‘Do you have to go? We could try again.’
‘Would there be any point?’
She sighed. ‘No. I don’t suppose there would.’
Tony rubbed his eye rather gruffly. ‘Look after my daughter, all right?’
‘I will. Come home when you’re on leave. She’ll…’ Lil swallowed. ‘…she’ll want to see you.’
‘We’ll see. I’ll write when I get there.’
And that was that. Ten minutes later, Tony Scott was gone and out of their lives, almost as if he’d never been a part of the world of Silverdale at all.