Chapter 36 #2
Teddy looked sober, yet not exactly sad: only resigned.
It was different for him, Bobby supposed, just as it was different for Charlie.
They had been airmen. They had lost friend after friend in this war.
Teddy had witnessed the deaths of almost his entire crew the night he had lost the use of his legs.
Grief was different, when you were one of the men who had flown.
Bobby sank into a seat. She felt like she didn’t want to be here.
She felt like she would rather die than have to see that handsome, strong young man who had once loved her in pain, with his life draining away.
But he had asked for her, and if he wanted her here when he was dying then she would never dream of letting him down.
‘It seems a strange place to offer congratulations, but I think I ought to,’ Charlie said to Teddy and Topsy, in a muted tone appropriate to their setting. ‘You’re to have a new baby soon, my wife tells me.’
Bobby was grateful to him for taking up the conversation. She felt some talk was preferable to silence, but she had no energy to make it herself.
‘This is right,’ Teddy said, with a proud smile for Topsy. ‘Those in authority have decided we will make suitable parents in spite of all this.’ He gestured to his paralysed legs. ‘Now we wait only for them to decide which baby they feel will suit us most.’
‘We told them we don’t mind what it is,’ Topsy said. ‘If it needs two loving parents, nothing else is important.’
‘Is that the way it works?’ Charlie asked. ‘I wondered if they didn’t have you pick one out for yourself.’
Teddy smiled. ‘But this would be no good, because my wife would come home with a whole orphanage’s worth. I know she could never choose one from among them all, and our little cottage would have babies spilling out of every nook and cranny.’
Topsy smiled too. ‘You know me too well, husband of mine. Just you wait until I get this big old house back. Then you’ll see how many babies I can squeeze in.’
They were recalled to their sober purpose by an RAF doctor emerging from Ernie’s room.
‘He’s awake for the moment,’ he said in a solemn voice. ‘If you want to say your goodbyes, I would advise you to do so quickly. Who will go in first? No more than two at a time.’
‘I will,’ Bobby whispered. ‘I’m told he asked for me.’
The doctor glanced at her stomach. ‘Are you sure? He’s heavily bandaged, and on a lot of morphine. You may find his appearance upsetting.’
‘I won’t go without seeing him. I was in the WAAF; I’m sure it isn’t worse than anything I’ve seen before. Please, Doctor.’
‘I’ll be going in with her,’ Charlie said. ‘I’m her husband.’
The doctor gave a slight nod and beckoned them in.
Bobby wasn’t sure what to expect. She assumed Ernie could talk a little, if he had asked for her. But would he know her?
The light was low in the room. There was a bed and a window and little else. The window was open, letting in a blossom-scented April breeze. Bobby knew the windows at Sumner House were usually kept shut, to maintain a sterile environment. She imagined that didn’t matter for Ernie.
He was on the bed. She supposed it was him. All she could see were bandages in the rough shape of a man.
‘Can he hear us?’ she asked the doctor in a whisper.
Ernie answered this before the doctor was able to. There was a low rumble from the bandages, then a hoarse, harsh growl.
‘Hey.’ There was a deep, pained intake of breath, a long pause, then, ‘Slacks.’
‘Ernie! Oh my God!’
Bobby rushed over to take his hand. It was covered in bandages, like the rest of him, but his fingertips were exposed. They were red and tender, more like tissue than flesh. Bobby tried not to touch them in case she hurt him, but she gave a gentle pressure on the thickly bandaged hand.
‘Bobby?’ the harsh whisper came again. It didn’t sound much like Ernie’s voice, except in the tone. Bobby felt she would know him however parched and burnt his throat was, if he sounded that way.
‘Don’t try to talk, darling,’ she whispered, sinking into the chair by his bed. ‘I’m here. Charlie’s here too.’
‘All right, King?’ Charlie said in a jovial voice. ‘Anything to get out of buying me that pint, eh? Thought I’d better come along and make sure you didn’t try to steal my girl again.’
There was a deep rumble from the bandages that sounded like a laugh.
‘Lucky,’ came the harsh growl.
‘I know I am,’ Charlie said softly, looking at Bobby. ‘Save us a seat on the other side, OK, old man? Sorry you didn’t make it.’
Ernie inclined his head in what Bobby guessed was a nod of acknowledgement. She felt that something was happening now that she wasn’t a part of. A bond that came not from friendship but comradeship. Ernie needed Charlie to be here just as much as he needed her.
‘Kid,’ was the next mumbled word, and Bobby knew what that meant.
‘Of course,’ she whispered, pressing his hand. ‘We’ll save your place at the christening. They’ll still be your godchild. We know you’ll be watching over them.’
‘You had better say your goodbyes,’ the doctor said in a low voice. ‘He can’t stay awake for long, I’m afraid.’
‘Wait,’ Ernie rasped. ‘Slacks.’
‘I’m here, Ernie,’ Bobby said. ‘What is it?’
‘Barbara.’
‘Barbara – your fiancée? Oh yes, of course. I’ll write to her and tell her… tell her everything. What’s her last name?’
‘No… Barbara.’
Bobby frowned, and looked at Charlie. ‘What can he mean?’
‘I think I know,’ Charlie said quietly. ‘There is no Barbara, is there, King? There never was.’
A slight shake of the head.
‘Bobby,’ he whispered. ‘Always.’
She didn’t understand for a moment. Then she met Charlie’s eyes, and she did.
‘Oh, Ernie,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’
‘Be… happy,’ he rasped. ‘Live. For me.’
‘I’ll miss you.’ Bobby let out a weak laugh. ‘Every time I put on a pair of trousers, I’ll think of you. Every time I hear “The Lambeth Walk”. Every time I look at the baby.’
‘See you… later.’
‘Yes. Later.’ She held his hand to her cheek, feeling those oddly inhuman fingertips against her skin. ‘Goodbye, Ernie. Goodbye.’