Chapter 6 #3
“I like your body. I’ve always been attracted to men who are naturally thin.
” He brushed his thumb over the back of Ethan’s hand.
“I was a chubby kid. So I worked out to lose weight and put on a lot of muscle. But now I need to work out all the time to maintain it. If I slow down, the weight comes back.”
Ethan’s lower lip trembled. “Please don’t think I only asked you out because of your body. Do you want to work out less?”
Blake shrugged. Sometimes he did want to cut back on his workouts. But his body was his brand. There was only one kind of body change that would strengthen his brand – becoming more muscular.
Ethan gave Blake’s hand a gentle squeeze. “You don’t owe anything to anybody.”
If only that were true.
“Well, I’m a bartender at a gay club. The Firehouse. Have you heard of it?”
“No, sorry. I’m not really a club guy.”
“If you’re built like me, you get better tips.”
“I’m sure that’s true, and I hate it.” Ethan hummed. “On the other hand, maybe if I was built like you, I’d have better luck getting extensions from my professors.”
“Professors?”
“I’m in business school. I only work at the diner part-time to pay for tuition.”
“Wow, you’re smart,” Blake said quietly. He hadn’t been smart enough to go to college. Was he going to be able to keep up with a guy who was studying business?
“I don’t know about that.” Ethan waved off the compliment. “I work hard.”
“What do you want to do when you graduate?”
Ethan snorted. “If it’s up to my dad, I’ll work at his company. Ugh, I don’t want to think about that yet.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Looks like we lost those guys. What’s next?”
Blake scanned the aisles of the midway, but they’d completed the circuit. “I think we’ve played everything already.”
“Should we redeem our tickets?”
Blake nodded, a spark of excitement flaring beneath the dark cloud of disappointment. He wasn’t ready for the date to end, but if it had to, he hoped it would end with Ethan breathless beneath him.
At the prize booth, they were greeted by a bubbly young woman who was sipping from a cup of soda bigger than her head. Her name tag identified her as Taylor.
“Hi!” she chirped. “Ready to cash out?”
Ethan piled their strips of tickets on the counter, and Taylor sorted them into neat stacks. “You have one hundred and three tickets. What catches your eye?”
Ethan turned to Blake. “Do you see something you like?”
Behind Taylor, shelves extended to the ceiling of the booth, overflowing with a multitude of stuffed animals, travel-sized games, toy cars, key rings, and stickers.
Overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices, Blake said, “Um, you can pick the prize.”
Ethan studied each shelf, then his eyes lit up and a huge smile bloomed on his face. “That one.” He pointed to the top shelf. “E15.”
Taylor stood on a step stool and brought down a stuffed duck wearing a blue baseball cap. She handed the duck to Ethan and tore off three tickets. “That’s one hundred tickets, so you have three left. Do you want some stickers?”
“No thanks,” Ethan said. “This little guy is enough.”
They said good night to Taylor, and Blake took Ethan’s hand again on the way back to the car. He loved how Ethan’s hand nestled comfortably into his larger palm.
After a few steps, Blake nudged Ethan’s shoulder. “The duck is cute. Why did you pick him?”
“His baseball cap reminded me of the one you were wearing when I first saw you.”
Blake was touched. That was quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to him.
“Here,” Ethan said, handing the duck to Blake. “I want you to have him.”
“Are you sure? You won most of the tickets.”
“I’m sure.”
Blake took the stuffed animal and gave it a little squeeze. The plush was as soft as a marshmallow. “Thanks. What should his name be?”
“Hmm…” Ethan considered the question for a moment, then snapped his fingers. “Blathan.”
Certain he’d misheard, Blake repeated, “Blathan?”
“Yeah.” Ethan waved his finger between them. “A mix of Blake and Ethan. It’s our couple name.” He cringed and dropped his gaze. “Sorry, that’s corny.”
“It’s not!” Blake turned the duck toward him. “Hi Blathan. Nice meeting you.” He pressed the duck’s soft bill to Ethan’s cheek and made a kissing sound. “I think he likes you.”
Ethan looked up at Blake with a fragile smile. “I like him, too.”
Blake pulled up in front of Ethan’s building and cut the engine.
On the ride over from the Midway, he’d been buzzing with a pleasant anticipation of the night that lay ahead.
He looked forward to having sex, of course, but more than that, he looked forward to cuddling with Ethan as they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
He placed his hand on Ethan’s thigh, a respectable distance from his crotch. “I had a great time tonight.”
Ethan placed his hand over Blake’s. “I did, too.” He stroked the side of Blake’s hand with his thumb. “I’d invite you in, but my personal rule is no sex on the first date.”
“Oh.” Had he misinterpreted Ethan’s signals? Mortified, Blake tried to pull his hand back, but Ethan held it tighter.
“It’s just… gay guys give themselves away so easily.
Posting dick pics. Making amateur porn videos.
It seems like every other guy has an account on OnlyFans or SeeMen.
And don’t get me started on the apps. I don’t understand the allure of sleeping with as many guys as possible––” Ethan stopped himself mid-sentence and huffed a chuckle.
“Sorry. I’ll get off my soapbox. Let me start over.
I’d like to get to know you a little before we sleep together.
” His eyes widened. “If you even want to sleep with me. Oh jeez, I’m going to stop talking now. ”
Ethan was adorable when he was flustered.
Blake actually liked the idea of wanting to get to know someone before jumping into sex.
But he was one of the guys Ethan was describing.
Maybe Ethan was just listing things he didn’t want to do himself.
It didn’t mean he’d outright reject guys that lived a more promiscuous lifestyle.
Of course, Blake wasn’t just promiscuous. He was an Olympic athlete in promiscuity. Would Ethan be able to accept he was a porn star, or would that ruin everything before they even had a chance?
Ethan stared at their joined hands, a scarlet flush staining the tips of his ears.
“I do,” Blake said quietly. “Want to sleep with you. When you’re ready.”
Ethan met his eyes, and a slow smile spread across his face. “I like you, Blake. Would you go on a second date with me?”
Blake hadn’t been asked on a second date since he was seventeen. Speechless, he nodded.
Ethan surprised him by leaning over the center console and pressing their lips together.
For a breathless moment, Blake was frozen in place, afraid to break the spell.
But as Ethan’s soft, sweet lips brushed against his own, Blake’s eyes fluttered shut and he kissed Ethan back, bringing up his hand to gently cradle Ethan’s jaw.
The caress of Ethan’s lips was one of the gentlest, most tender kisses Blake had ever experienced.
Too soon, Ethan pulled back. “Good night, Blake.”
“Good night.”
Ethan stepped out of the car, but not before flashing one last smile. “Text me when you get home?”
“I will,” Blake said, his lips still tingly from their kiss.
Ethan jogged up the front steps of his building. At the front door, he turned and waved.
Blake waved back, his hand lingering in the air after Ethan had disappeared inside.
He leaned back in the seat and let out a soft laugh. Ethan Whet likes me. He started the car and pulled away from the curb, driving home with a goofy grin so wide it hurt his cheeks.
Once Blake had brushed his teeth and stripped down to his briefs, he propped Blathan up on his pillow and climbed under the covers.
Ethan had asked him to text when he got home, but he didn’t know what to say. Tapping the side of his phone, he looked around his room – lit only by the blue glow from his phone – until his eyes landed on his stuffed duck.
He slowly typed his message, sounding out the duck’s name in his head.
BLAKE
Im home. Blaythen says hi
He scooted over until he was cheek to cheek with Blathan, snapped a selfie, and sent it off.
Ethan sent a pink heart emoji in response.
ETHAN
I had fun tonight
BLAKE
Me 2
Ethan’s reply bubbles appeared and disappeared a few times, before his next message came through.
ETHAN
I’m jealous of the duck lol
Blake laughed. He wanted to flirt back but stumbled on what to say. Words never came easy for him. He wasn’t clever like his friend Spencer, or quick like Ethan. He stared at the blinking cursor, hoping he wouldn’t ruin the moment.
Jealous of the duck. That meant Ethan wanted to be there, next to Blake. Picturing that scenario made Blake’s insides fluttery. He could work with that. He typed his message and hit send.
BLAKE
Heel keep the spot warm 4 you
Ethan replied with the blowing-kiss emoji.
Blake hugged his phone to his chest. These sweet, flirty moments with Ethan were so different from the dick pics and raunchy texts he’d grown accustomed to. Ethan had a purity that reminded Blake of the man he once was, before the porn and the cam work.
Could he be that man again?
He couldn’t un-fuck all the men he’d been with, but he could take a break from cam work for a while, at least long enough to see if anything was going to happen with Ethan.
He thought back to the way Dylan had treated him when he’d shown up in his chat room. Smug and mean. Ethan had a point. Gay men did give themselves away easily. When you did that, men felt entitled to your body.
Blake sat up against his headboard, letting the sheet pool in his lap. Switching to his camera app, he held the phone at a high angle and started recording a video.
“Hi guys,” he said in his sultry drawl, running his free hand over his pecs. “I won’t be hosting any chats for a while. Even porn stars need a break sometimes. I promise, we’re still friends. Think of me next time you touch yourself.” He licked his lower lip and ended the recording.
After taking a deep breath, he logged into his SeeMen account and posted the video.
If he wasn’t going to be active on the site any time soon, he didn’t feel right charging full price for his subscription. He navigated to the billing portal and lowered his subscription charge to what he hoped was a reasonable discount. Then he turned off his phone and placed it on his nightstand.
Snuggling back under the covers with Blathan tucked under his arm, Blake let memories of their date flit through his mind as he nodded off.