Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
Blake
A special night called for a special costume.
Blake unzipped his garment bag and carefully unpacked his black calf-length duster, one of the most complex garments he’d ever sewn.
When he strutted down the runway in his black cowboy hat and matching boots, then whipped open the duster to reveal his bare chest, the applause was always deafening.
He was convinced that during one memorable performance, a guy in the audience had an actual orgasm, just from the dramatic way the duster snapped and flared while he danced.
He sat at his station in his favorite bulge-enhancing briefs, the ones with a little pouch that pushed his junk up and out. In his tight tear-away jeans, the briefs made his crotch especially drool-worthy. Grinning from ear to ear, he hummed to himself while he lined his eyes.
Tenny came up behind him and gripped his shoulders, smiling in the mirror’s reflection. “Cowboy Dirk is coming out tonight! What’s the special occasion?”
“I’m celebrating.” Blake glanced around and beckoned him to lean in. “I want you to be the first to know. Well, other than Virgil. And Ethan.”
Tenny chuckled. “What’s the news?”
“I’m going to be able to open my club. The owners approved the lease transfer.”
Tenny wrapped Blake up in a bear hug. “That’s great, buddy!” He sat at his station and opened his makeup case. “You’re going to hire me on, right?”
Blake set down his eyeliner and turned to face Tenny. “We still have to work out financing, you know, but, um… I’d like to have you as my talent coordinator. Training new dancers, teaching them choreography, that kind of stuff. And to dance, of course.”
“I’d love that. You and me, man. We’ll make a great team.”
“Ethan will want to be part of the official offer…” Blake trailed off, his unfocused gaze falling to the floor.
His boyfriend would be part of all official club business. They were opening Siren together. Increasingly, Ethan was calling it “our club” in his excited, unguarded moments. Every time Blake heard it, he trusted their shared vision a little more.
But now that they were business partners – and getting serious as boyfriends – it was time to come clean with Ethan.
Tenny waved a hand in front of Blake’s face. “You alright, big guy?”
“Me and Ethan have been spending a lot of time together lately.”
With a mischievous smile, Tenny pumped his arms and thrust his pelvis, punctuating each syllable. “Spending time together?”
Blake laughed. “Yes, we’ve had a lot of sex. But after that, I hold him, and we talk for hours. About the club. About us. I’m starting to fall for him.”
“That’s huge! No wonder you’ve been so happy lately. Seriously, dude. You’ve been glowing.”
The smile fell from Blake’s face.
“What’s the matter?”
“It’s complicated.”
Tenny studied him for a moment, and recognition dawned in his eyes. “You haven’t told him you’re a porn star.”
“Not yet. I want to. But once someone finds out, it changes how they see me. I really like him, Tenny. I don’t want to ruin what we have.”
Tenny placed his hands on Blake’s knees. “Babe, it’s not like you shot a scene in someone’s garage when you were a struggling college student. You’re one of the biggest names in porn. He’s going to find out eventually. Don’t you think you should be the one that tells him?”
“I don’t know how to bring it up. I start to say something, but the timing always feels wrong, so I change the subject.”
Tenny squirted moisturizer onto his finger and smoothed it onto his cheeks. “Are you worried because of how many guys you’ve fucked? Lots of gay men are promiscuous. Did Ethan have a slut era?”
Blake finished applying his eyeliner. “I don’t know. We haven’t talked about our dating history.”
“That might be a good place to start. Let him know you used to do porn, but there are safeguards on set. You can show him your most recent test results if he’s concerned. They were all negative, right?”
“Yeah. Well, I had chlamydia, but antibiotics cleared it up.”
Tenny dotted concealer under his eyes. “And you’re on PrEP?”
“Of course.”
“Okay, then. So he’s not at risk of catching anything. Look, the world is changing all the time. Porn and cam work are becoming more accepted. It may not be a big deal for him.”
“Maybe not,” Blake said, but his words lacked conviction.
All the conversations he’d had with Ethan made it clear his porn past would be a big deal – probably a deal-breaker.
Maybe he was being foolish, but Blake kept telling himself that if they cared enough about each other, the past wouldn’t outweigh the present.
Hopefully, when the truth came out, Ethan would know him well enough to understand why he’d been afraid to bring it up, and forgive him for waiting.
Tenny spritzed cologne on his hairy chest. “I can tell you this, my friend. If things are getting serious, it’s better to tell him sooner than later.” He shrugged on his custom leather harness. “Here, give me a hand with this.”
Blake helped Tenny buckle his harness, and handed him his leather cap. “I’ll find a way to tell him this weekend.”
Tenny donned his cap, pulling the brim low over his eyes. “If it’s going to be a deal-breaker for him, it’s better to find out now, before things get more serious.”
In the reflection of his station’s mirror, Blake saw Virgil cross the dressing room, a cigarette dangling from his lip.
Tenny patted Blake’s shoulder. “Showtime.”
Virgil taped the evening’s roster in its customary spot, near the hallway that led backstage. “Gather ’round, Show Ponies.” His somber voice didn’t carry its usual snarky undercurrent.
All the guys must have sensed the change as well, since a hush fell over the group as they gathered into a rough semi-circle around Virgil.
“I’ve had this club for a long time. Thirty-four years. But who’s counting?”
Virgil took a final drag from his cigarette and tamped it out in his overflowing ashtray.
“This place has been my whole world. You boys are my family. I’ve loved being here every night, but I’m slowing down, and it’s time for me to move on.”
In all his years at the club, Blake had never known the dressing room to be as quiet as it was now.
Christoph was the first to speak. “Are you closing the club?”
“Yes,” Virgil said.
A murmur rose among the dancers.
“The last Saturday in September will be our final show. After that, Blake will be taking over the space. You can talk to him about the club he’ll be opening, and any job opportunities he might have.
In the meantime, we still have six weeks of shows, so let’s make them count.
Starting tonight, I’m officially relaxing the rules.
Show your dick, show your ass – anything goes to get as many tips as possible.
But––” Virgil held up his finger. “No actual sex, and no ejaculation. We need to maintain some standards.”
Some of the dancers chuckled, including Blake. Once these guys were given free rein, standards would go out the window. With the club closing, they had nothing to lose, no reason to hold back.
Aston raised his hand and asked, in his lilting British accent, “What will you do now, love?”
Everyone fell silent and focused on Virgil again.
“I’ve always wanted to travel. For the longest time, I’ve dreamed of going scuba diving and exploring the Bamboo Reef. You never know, maybe I’ll meet a special someone to share whatever time I have left.”
Fighting tears, Virgil sniffled and wiped his nose. “Damn allergies. What I was going to say is, I’ll miss all of you.”
The dancers surged forward, wrapping Virgil in a massive, messy group hug, their voices joining in a chorus of love you’s and miss you’s.
Romeo yelled, “Let’s go out with a bang!”
“For Virgil!” Dom added, and the dressing room erupted in cheers.
As the group disbanded to finish getting ready, a few of the guys clapped Blake on the shoulder, congratulating him and promising to chat after the show.
Tenny slung his arm around Blake’s shoulders and pulled him into a side hug. “I’m proud of you. Knock ’em dead out there, cowboy.” He kissed Blake’s cheek and gave him another squeeze before heading backstage.
Blake wandered back to his makeup station in a daze, overwhelmed by a sudden wave of nostalgia about all the adventures he’d had between the walls of this club.
Even though he was opening his club in the same building, in six weeks The Firehouse would be gone.
The aging decor would be replaced, and most of the guys would go their separate ways. He had to savor the time that was left.
He took his time getting dressed in his costume, and by the time he slipped on his duster, his eyes were brimming with happy tears.
Everything in my life is coming together.
He dictated a text to Ethan, then turned off his phone and stashed it in his duffle, under his sweatpants and sneakers. After a final glance in the mirror to adjust his cowboy hat, he joined his friends backstage for the first of their final performances together.