Chapter 47
FORTY-SEVEN
Ethan
As Tenny and Rhys’s crew made their way to the rehearsal space, Xander turned to his friends. “Okay guys, finish your donuts, chug your coffee, and pee. We’ll get started in ten.”
Ethan slid a paper cup off the stack at the bar. The first coffee urn coughed out a lukewarm trickle, barely enough to wet the bottom of his cup. He tsked and moved to the second, which thankfully was full.
Xander sauntered over and leaned his butt against the table next to Ethan. “How was it?”
Ethan looked between his cup and Xander, who was suspiciously gleeful. “How was what?”
“You’re going to make me work for it, huh?”
“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The sex? With Blake? You were together last night, so I’m assuming it was with each other.”
Ethan’s mouth dropped open, and his cheeks burned with prickly heat. “What… how? Did he say something?”
“He didn’t have to.”
Certain that Xander didn’t actually know what had happened and was fishing for information, Ethan narrowed his eyes. “How do you know I had sex?”
Xander’s mouth hooked into a sly smile and he shrugged. “Gay intuition.”
“There’s no such thing.”
Lowering his voice and talking out of the side of his mouth, Xander said, “You smell like Blake. And he smells like you.”
Ethan pulled his hoodie forward and inhaled deeply. He caught a hint of Blake’s cologne, as well as a faint trace of cum and sex sweat. “We didn’t get a chance to shower this morning. We got here really early so we could be set up when everyone arrived.”
“It’s a big day.”
Ethan ripped open two sugar packets and poured them into his coffee. “Thanks for being here. You don’t know how much this means to Blake.”
“I’m not just here for Blake.” When Ethan stepped to the side, Xander refilled his cup. “I’m doing it for both of you. You’re making one of my best friend’s dreams come true.”
“I know he’s wanted this club for a long time.”
“His dream was about more than just the club.” Xander set his cup down. Holding out his arm with his index and middle finger extended, he lightly tapped Ethan’s shoulder. “By the power vested in me, I declare you an official sex god. Just don’t tell Henry.”
“You haven’t made Quinn’s husband a sex god yet?”
“He wants it too badly. Maybe in a couple more years. C’mere.” Xander held out his arms, and pulled Ethan into a hug when he tentatively stepped closer.
Truth be told, Ethan had never really understood the sex god thing, but it meant something to Blake and his friends. Being accepted into the fold felt important, like he’d passed a test and was found worthy.
Xander sniffed the air. “And you bottomed last night.”
Ethan shoved him away. “Get the fuck out of here. You can’t possibly know that.”
“Lucky guess.” He nodded his chin toward the stage, where Blake was munching on a donut and watching them with a fond expression. “Go support your man. I’ve got this part under control.”
Xander walked toward his friends, clapping his hands three times. “All right guys, break time’s over. Strip down to your underwear and get up on the stage.”
Ethan joined Blake at the donut table. “I guess I’m one of the sex gods now?”
Blake popped the rest of the donut in his mouth and brushed the powdered sugar off his fingers. “Xander accepts you. That’s a big deal. He doesn’t let people in easily.” He craned his neck to peek around Ethan’s shoulder, his brow furrowed in confusion. “There’s a man watching you.”
Ethan spun around. It took him a second to process that his father was standing near the front door, his mouth set in a tight line. “Dad?”
Howard approached them, scanning the club while subtly shaking his head.
“Blake, this is my father, Howard. Dad, this is Blake. My business partner. And boyfriend.”
Howard grasped Blake’s hand stiffly. “Son, can I have a word with you about this… establishment?” He cast a sidelong glance at Blake. “Alone?”
Ethan stood straighter and crossed his arms. “Anything you have to say about the club you can say in front of Blake.”
“Very well.” He reached into his jacket’s inner breast pocket and pulled out a small, folded rectangle of paper. His mouth twisted as if he might say something, but he handed the paper to Ethan without muttering a word.
Ethan opened what turned out to be a check. “What the fu…” There were a lot of zeros after that five. Orison paid his father well, but Ethan had no idea he was paid this well. “Dad, what is this?”
“An option.”
Ethan huffed and held the check out to his father. “We had this discussion already. We’re not interested in any kind of buyout. Besides, if the building is declared a landmark, Orison can’t redevelop it.”
“I’m not here on behalf of Orison. This is from me. For you. So you can take some time to focus on your writing. After graduation, you can stay in your apartment. I’ll continue to pay for it. You can use the money to cover expenses while you get established as an author.”
A hesitant, hopeful smile brightened Ethan’s face.
This was the moment he’d been waiting for.
Finally, his father saw his writing as a serious pursuit.
Something he could turn into a career. He looked at the check again.
If his rent was covered, he could stretch this to last two, maybe three years.
Especially if the club started bringing in money.
The club. Ethan’s stomach curdled when he realized what he was really being offered. The offer wasn’t so he could build the life that was most meaningful to him. It was so he could build the life that was most comfortable for his father.
His shoulders wilted, and he said out loud the part that had been unspoken. “If I give up the club.”
“Now’s your chance. Before you’ve invested too much time and energy, and god forbid, money. You know how challenging it is to make clubs like this profitable.”
“We’ll be profitable,” Ethan said, his words sharp.
“We’re going to draw huge crowds. Blake is a famous porn star.
” He didn’t know what possessed him to blurt it out like that.
Maybe to shock his father, or to hurt him, the way he was hurting Ethan.
Or maybe it was because he was tired of worrying about it and just wanted it out in the open, once and for all.
Howard glared at Blake. “I’m aware. I read an article in the Bay Area Reporter that a co-worker showed me. I learned from one of my subordinates that my son is dating an adult entertainer.”
On the stage, Xander and his friends had stripped down to their underwear, and he was taking them through the dance moves they’d need for the show. “Really snap those pelvic thrusts,” Xander yelled as he pumped his fists and pushed his hips forward. “Thrust like you’re trying to hit that prostate!”
As Howard watched the activity on the stage, his nose wrinkled and his upper lip lifted in a sneer. “I’m looking out for you, son. Get out now, before the publicity about what goes on here embarrasses you.”
“Before it embarrasses me? The only person it’s embarrassing is you! I almost lost my chance with Blake because of trying to please you. But I’ll never be good enough or respectable enough unless I scrub gayness out of my life.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You can be gay.” Howard’s gaze flicked to the stage, then back to Ethan. “You’re not one of those gays.”
“Yes, I am,” Ethan said. He’d always created an artificial separation between himself and other gay men.
He was being gay the right way. The respectable way.
But it was all bullshit. There was no right way to be gay.
Just like other gay men, he was a guy who loved and lusted after men.
The other lifestyle choices were just that – choices.
He didn’t have to choose anything that made him uncomfortable.
But nothing he chose would make him any less gay.
Ethan handed back the check, and the dream of writing that it represented. “I love you, Dad, and I want you in my life. I want to make you proud. But I have to do that on my terms, living a life that’s meaningful to me. Hopefully, someday, you can respect that.”
Howard slipped the check back into his pocket. After a final glance at Ethan – his eyes glassy and his brow slightly furrowed – he turned and left the club.
The door swung shut behind him with a heavy thud. Ethan stared at it for a moment, then let out his breath in a rush, his knees suddenly weak.
“Are you okay?” Blake asked.
Ethan looked into Blake’s green eyes and saw nothing but kindness and concern. Here was a man who was patient enough to wait until Ethan was ready to pull his head out of his ass and finally accept the amazing man who’d been right in front of him the entire time.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Ethan said. He took his boyfriend’s hand. “Come on. We have a show to put on.”