Chapter 49
FORTY-NINE
Blake
The dressing room was hectic, with dancers changing costumes and applying makeup. Xander led his friends through a quick dress rehearsal at the end of the long space, giving each of them personal attention as needed to ensure they memorized the choreography.
At his station, Blake touched up his eyeliner, creating a more dramatic wing at the corner of his eye.
Ethan appeared behind him in the reflection. “There you are.” He leaned his butt against Blake’s makeup table and crossed his arms. “I have your costume changes set up backstage. How are you feeling?”
“Good.” Guilty. Blake set down his eyeliner. “About the kiss with Tenny…”
“I don’t remember that from rehearsal,” Ethan said, his tone light.
“I’m sorry. We got caught up in the moment. It didn’t mean anything.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I trust you. You and Tenny are close. I’m not threatened by kissing or groping during a performance.”
Blake raised an eyebrow and smirked.
Holding up his hands in surrender, Ethan chuckled. “I’m still getting comfortable with seeing it, but I’m not threatened by it.” He pointed to a vase on Blake’s table containing a bouquet of blue and purple chrysanthemums. “Those are pretty.”
“They’re from my mama. She isn’t ready to see me dance in my underwear, but she wanted to congratulate us on the grand opening.”
“Have you talked with your dad?”
“I emailed him. He wished me luck. It might sound weird, because I’ll be dancing in see-through pants, but I wish my dad could be here.”
His father was a performer, too. Blake might not be a world-class musician playing a classical instrument, but burlesque took talent. Even though it was infused with sex, he was certain his father could appreciate the artistry in what he did.
“That’s not weird. You have a lot to be proud about, and you want to share it with him.”
“Sorry for how things turned out with your dad.”
“Me too.”
“Do you think he’ll come around?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. If he doesn’t, you might be getting another roommate.” He huffed a humorless chuckle. “I meant what I said, though. I don’t want to live a life that will make him happy. I need to do what makes me happy. This club makes me happy. You make me happy.”
“You make me happy, too. I can’t believe I’m getting a shot at my dream. God, I don’t want to fuck it up.”
“Hey, you’re getting in your head again.” Ethan straddled Blake’s legs and draped his arms loosely around Blake’s neck.
Blake laughed. “I’m all sweaty.”
“So what? I like your sweat. Look, the show is great. You’re going to be great. You hear me?”
Blake nodded, and placed his hands on Ethan’s hips.
As he combed his fingers through Blake’s damp hair, Ethan’s mouth curved into a smile. “I love you.”
Blake’s breath hitched. All around him, the room buzzed with activity. Guys were laughing, rehearsing, horsing around. But for Blake, time seemed to pause, as those three words sunk in. He blinked at Ethan, wondering if he’d heard him right. “What?”
“I love you.”
For so long, Blake had been pining for a man he thought he couldn’t have. If he gave in to the moment, and let himself feel all the emotions he’d been bottling up, was he setting himself up for heartache?
He lifted his chin and met Ethan’s gaze. He found no hesitation or uncertainty there. Shining in his boyfriend’s warm grey eyes was love, pure and bright, a reflection of the love in his own heart.
The man I fell in love with loves me back.
Blake’s shoulders crumpled and he buried his face in Ethan’s T-shirt, nuzzling his chest as a sob shook his body.
Overcome with relief that he didn’t have to hide his feelings anymore, he said the words he’d been holding in his heart, keeping them safe until the day when Ethan might be ready to hear them.
“I love you, too. So much.” Tears wet his cheeks and soaked into the cotton of Ethan’s shirt. “I’ve wanted to say it for so long.”
“Me too. When did you know?”
“The night The Firehouse closed. After we had sex, I almost told you. How about you?”
Ethan kissed the top of Blake’s head. “I fell in love with you the night you sang to me at The Baritone Lounge.”
Blake remembered that night, the way Ethan had looked at him as they lay in each other’s arms after making love. He’d sensed the shift in Ethan but had been afraid to name it. Afraid to trust it. Afraid to admit that something had changed for him, too.
But he saw that night from both sides now – how it had been both a beginning and an ending for him. It was the night he left his past behind, forever changed by the gentle man who’d become everything to him: a business partner, a friend, a lover.
He sniffled and sat up, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand.
“Uh-oh,” Ethan said with a grimace.
“What?” Blake peeked around Ethan to check his reflection. His eyeliner was smudged, and black streaks traced their way down his cheeks.
“It’s fine. I’ll re-do it. I’m going with a smoky eye for the finale.” He smoothed Ethan’s T-shirt, brushing his fingers over the wet spots. “Sorry about your shirt.”
“It’s black. It’ll survive.”
They shared a laugh, and peace settled in Blake’s chest, as if he were finally exhaling after months of holding his breath. “We’re going to be okay, aren’t we?”
Ethan nodded. “Yeah. We are.”
He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Blake’s lips. The room erupted into wolf whistles and kissy noises. Ethan flipped off the other dancers as he briefly deepened the kiss, touching the tip of his tongue to Blake’s before pulling back.
“Okay stud.” Ethan wiped off Blake’s mouth with his thumb. “Knock ’em dead, break a leg, or whatever thing you’re supposed to say other than ‘good luck.’”
“Will you be watching from backstage?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”