Chapter 13 #2
Damn. So much for that plan. “We watched a couple episodes of a TV show and ate some nachos. They did a whole layer thing so there weren’t any bare chips, and so many varieties of toppings, all warmed up in the oven so there was a nice crunch.
” I really do think they have the superior movie snack, and now I’m kind of embarrassed I’d told them I like something so basic as popcorn and pretzels.
“No, no, no. You can’t distract me with talk of food,” Ronnie says, cutting me off. “Although that does sound delicious and we should try it. But I want boy talk right now, not food talk. Where did you sleep, at least?”
All I can do is blush and shove a couple of chips in my mouth so I can’t be expected to answer.
“I knew it!” She pumps her arm with her excitement.
I take a bite of my sandwich before I’ve even swallowed the chips just so I don’t have to look her in the eye. I’m afraid she’ll realize that I’m not telling her the entire truth.
“So which one was it?” she asks, scooting to the edge of her bed in eagerness. “And how far did you go? Do we need to have the safe sex talk?”
“Oh my god.” I roll my eyes and groan through a mouthful of sandwich, so it sounds more like “uhmuhguh.” Ronnie tells me every last detail whenever she starts seeing a new guy, but I’ve never been in this position before, and her getting so excited is making me feel even more uncomfortable.
“This is a big step for you,” she continues. “I just want to make sure you’re being taken care of, and your first time is memorable. And that it’s nothing like my first time.”
I know exactly what she’s doing. She’s trying to use her own bad experiences to get me to offer up details to prove that mine was a good one.
And we’ve been friends long enough that I know if I don’t give her something, she’s just going to keep pushing until I blurt out everything just to get her to stop.
Normally this trait doesn’t bother me, but right now I’m really wishing she would read the room and accept that I don’t want to share everything with her.
“I slept in Felix’s bed,” I admit, biting into another chip. May as well start eating at a normal pace, since my attempts to avoid talking by cramming my face full of food don’t seem to be working.
“Which one was that?”
“The one in the red.” He’s always wearing something that’s red. I’m pretty sure it’s his favorite color. No one wears that much of a color if they don’t love it.
Ronnie looks up at the ceiling, searching her brain to remember their faces. “The one with the glasses?”
“Yes, the one in the glasses.” I shouldn’t be annoyed that his glasses are the feature she remembers, but there’s so much more to him than being “the one with the glasses” and I don’t like that he’s being distilled down to just that.
Although I suppose I should cut her some slack since she did only meet them once, briefly, and it was mostly dark. And she’d been drinking.
“He was cute! Did you fuck him? Tell me!” Ronnie claps with excitement, squealing and bouncing on her bed.
“I am really not comfortable with this conversation.” Ronnie is my best friend, but I hate feeling put on the spot like this, and I haven’t even had a chance to figure out how I feel about the weekend’s events without her influence.
“Becks.” Ronnie shuffles forward so she can put her hand on my desk and force me to look at her. “If talking about it is this embarrassing, then you shouldn’t be doing it.”
I scrunch my nose at her. “You’re really annoying, do you know that?”
She’s not wrong, but at the same time, I think it’s valid to be comfortable doing a thing but not want to air all the details about it.
Although if I can’t talk to her about these things, there’s no hope that I’ll ever be able to talk to anyone at all about it.
I need to just tell her and deal with whatever the fallout is.
“Would you rather I tell you about what Trevor and I did this weekend?” she asks, her voice dripping with fake innocence. “Because I’m completely comfortable with that, and maybe it’ll give you ideas of things you could do with this Felix guy,” she adds with a little wink.
“No, I do not want to hear any more details of things you’ve done with Trevor.”
“Well, it’s that or you tell me about what you did.”
May as well just rip off the Band-Aid, I think. Resting my elbows on my desk, I cover my face with my hands as I mumble, “Fine. With which guy?”
I am positive that every dog in a three-mile radius of our dorm hears the shriek Ronnie lets out as she falls back on her bed, kicking her feet against the covers in giddiness.
Well, this was not what I was expecting.
Even though she seemed breezy about the idea of me hooking up with all of them when she told me to let them help with my list, I was prepared for judgement and condemnation now that it’s not a hypothetical, not delighted thrashing and celebrating.
I’m not even sure what to do with this, so I take another bite of my sandwich and wait for Ronnie to come back to her senses.
It takes three bites before she regains her composure enough to sit up and speak calmly. “So … who? Felix, obviously, and which other one?” When I don’t respond, her eyes grow wide. “More than one other one?”
In for a penny, I guess, though my voice is barely above a whisper when I answer. “All of them.”
Ronnie stares at me, then begins to cackle. “Wow. Your romantic life is crickets for the entire time I’ve known you, and now your first time out of the gate, you’re dating multiple guys at once? When you decide to do a thing, you really go all out, huh?” she says with a shit-eating grin.
I shake my head, my glasses sliding down my nose. “No. No, no, no. We are not dating.”
Ronnie’s eyebrows are practically in her hairline now. “So, what, you’re just fooling around?”
I pick up another chip, ready to shove it into my mouth, but what would be the point? I’m not getting out of this conversation, and I’m no longer hungry. I toss it back onto the desk. “Sort of.”
“Sort of?” Ronnie tilts her head in confusion. “What do you mean sort of? You either are or you aren’t.”
I sigh and shove myself away from the desk and my half-eaten lunch. “Remember that list you found the other week?”
“Obviously.”
“It fell out of my purse.” I close my eyes, reliving the humiliating moment when I walked into their living room to find them looking at the stupid pink paper. “Right in front of them. And they kind of offered to help me complete it.”
“Lucky boys, having that just drop into their laps. Any lucky you, too, it sounds like. A no-strings v-card punch is not a bad way to do it.”
“Maybe,” I hedge. “They asked me to go out with them and I told them I’m not interested in dating anyone at the moment, but we could do this instead. They agreed, and I’m really just hoping they don’t keep pushing the dating thing.”
Now that we’ve started the list, I wouldn’t mind finishing it with them. But not if it’s going to get complicated.
“Does that mean you just fooled around the entire weekend?” Ronnie’s eyes get big again. “How much of your list did you get through?”
“No, of course not.” I have way too much going on to spend an entire weekend just fooling around.
My homework would never get done at that rate.
“I told you, we also watched a TV show, made meals, and we got a lot of studying done too. They’re also really good students, and they’re hoping to graduate with honors. ”
“But you’re not dating them,” she clarifies.
“No, definitely not.”
“I don’t believe you, but okay.” Ronnie chuckles as she stands to grab her shower caddy out of her cupboard.
“I’m not,” I insist. What about that is confusing her? I just said quite plainly that I don’t want to date them, or anyone. And even if I hadn’t just said it, this is not new information for her.
“As long as you’re happy and having a good time, you can do whatever you want,” she assures me, snagging her towel off the top corner of her cupboard door. “But you need to leave me a note or text me when you’re not going to come home overnight, because safety first.”
“I know,” I agree. “Even the guys felt bad about that. And they promised to remind me next time.”
I can’t believe I forgot to tell her this time. It’s not like me for something so basic to slip my mind. Although I was thinking about other things at the time. Sexy things. I was distracted.
She snorts. “Yeah, you’re totally not dating.”
It’s clear she doesn’t believe me, but before I can respond, she closes the door behind her, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the realization that once again, I have neglected to send a text I should have remembered.
Pulling my phone out of my purse, I pull up the group chat with the guys.
Home from work. I should have texted them right away like I had said I would, but I didn’t want to ignore my best friend to text the people I just spent the whole weekend with. Assuming she’d have even let me have the fifteen seconds it would take to type out the message.
Glad you made it home safe, texts Sebastian.
Felix sends, If you had come here after instead, we could have another movie night.
Is movie night going to become a euphemism for ticking items off the list? The thought makes me giggle, and sends an exciting little chill up my spine. I feel bad now for judging other girls for hooking up with guys. Now that I’ve done it, I can see what all the fuss is about.
We could plan something for next weekend? I type out, then immediately regret it. Did that make me look too eager to see them again? I don’t want to give them all the power in … whatever this is.
Lukas replies before I have a chance to unsend the message. We actually have plans already for next weekend. It’s Nationals, so we’ll be in New York.
Shit, it’s Nationals already? I had no idea. Why didn’t they say anything sooner?
Do you want to come with us? Lukas asks.
Go to New York with them? That feels a lot like something a boyfriend would suggest, not a guy who’s just a casual hookup. I immediately begin to decline, but pause when it occurs to me that this could be really good research for my class series. I may not get another chance like this.
Okay, sure. It’ll be a good opportunity to work on my article. I need to make sure they know I’m saying yes because of the work experience, not because of the weird non-relationship we have.
Awesome! texts Felix. We were nervous about asking you.
Well, that’s flattering. And I’m glad I’m not the only one who is uncertain about things.
But Felix isn’t done. Because you’ll have to miss class on Friday.
Wait, what? What did I just agree to?
We’ll pick you up Thursday night after our last class, Sebastian’s next message says. We’ll text you when we’re leaving. It’ll be a late night by the time we get there, but then at least we’re there and ready in the morning.
We’ll make sure to have you back on Sunday before your shift at the newspaper though. This is from Elliot.
I’m still focused on the leaving-on-Thursday-night part.
The part where I’m going to have to skip my Friday classes because I’ll be out of town with them.
I’ve never missed a class in my life unless I was violently ill—like stomach virus levels of sick.
But now I’ve accidentally agreed to skip just to spend time with them.
I’m so glad you’re going to be there, Lukas tells me. This competition will be so much more fun with you in the audience watching us.
There’s no way I can back out without being the worst. I can skip my lit and history classes for one day.
I’m excited to come with you too, I text back.
I hit send before I realize what I just typed, and when it clicks for me I nearly collapse on top of the remains of my sandwich.
Come. With. You.
Well, I suppose if I spend the whole weekend with them again, it’s possible I’ll be able to cross that off the list. I mean, two whole nights? Something is bound to happen between us.