Chapter Nine
Brock
As much as I told myself I was going to slow down at work and not give in to the pressure to do more and more—only to be treated like a workhorse with no potential for further growth—I kept doing it.
My friends, being the badasses that they were, held an intervention of sorts, showing up at my desk with a birthday cake and telling me it was time to go.
It wasn’t my birthday or any of ours. Lake just liked cake. I had a feeling the next day would be filled with well wishes, anyway.
My initial instinct was to turn them down. But, knowing Sammy, he’d already looked at the master schedule to make sure that I didn’t have any meetings scheduled, which would’ve been the only excuse they’d have accepted.
Ever since our movie night, Lake and Abbott had gotten closer with us. We had a group chat I attempted to stay engaged with, and a few late-night video calls between the four of us when Will was out of town. It was nice having new friends.
For so long, it had been only Sammy and me. And that was great. But, truth be told, we had been too dependent on each other for a while.
“Where are you taking me?” I climbed into the car, not really caring about the destination as much as I was curious.
“Reach behind you and grab the teal backpack,” Lake said.
It was nothing fancy, but all three told me to open it. When I did, I saw an adorable little outfit.
“We’re going to play!”
And that was how we ended up at Chained on a night I had planned to fill with emails, spreadsheets, and coding. This was much more fun, but knowing the work was still waiting for me sucked. I pushed it down as hard as I could, not wanting to ruin the evening.
Tonight was a glitter-free night. Ms. Lily rarely brought it out and with good reason. I told myself it made the glittery craft nights more fun this way, but it still made the crafty table less fun.
At least tonight, they had stickers. Lots and lots of stickers.
“I like your monster, Abbott.” He was coloring a pink monster holding a blue tree. Leave it to Abbott to have all the colors except the ones that made sense. “I think it needs a sticker.”
I peeled a sparkly sticker from the sheet I’d been using and, after Abbott nodded, put it on the page.
“It’s so shiny!”
“Oh, that reminds me, Brock, I have a gift for you in the car.”
“What?”
“I’m supposed to remember to give it to you before we drop you at home. Don’t let me forget.”
As if I could forget. It was the only constant in my mind.
He was clear that it wasn’t from him, which meant it could be Will.
Will was his daddy and as loyal as they came, but Will also understood and respected our friendship.
It wouldn’t be odd for him to pick out something for both of us on a trip if he thought we would both use them together.
One time, we each got matching personalized sippy cups for our movie nights.
Another time, we got teddy bears that hugged each other.
This didn’t feel like that, though. Or maybe I was in wishful-thinking land.
“You’re mean.” I stuck out my tongue at him.
“What? I was just making sure I didn’t forget.”
I tried to forget about it, to go back to playing with my friends, and eventually, I did get back into a semi-little space.
Ms. Lily had a new set of blocks, similar to Lincoln Logs but huge.
I’d never seen them before, but we were able to make some really cool things with them.
The problem remained. Every time we transitioned from one activity to the next, I kept thinking it was probably time to go home.
I wasn’t tired. It wasn’t late. There was no excuse for it other than I really wanted to open my gift.
It was ridiculous for me to be so excited about something that could easily be a random key chain Will found. I tried to ask Sammy who it was from more than once, and he dodged it every single time. It had to be Zeph. Nothing else made sense.
I needed to know. I dragged Sammy with me to the bathroom, thinking I could get more out of him if we were alone.
I didn’t like to go to the bathroom alone when I was in little clothes.
I trusted Chained to do their best to keep us safe, and I knew if anything happened, they would react appropriately, but I still felt safer going with a friend.
That was probably why Sammy didn’t think anything of it when I asked him to come with me.
The second the door shut, I laid it all out there. “You can’t tell me you have a surprise for me and then not give me details. You can’t.”
“But those were my directions.” He wrinkled his nose the way he did when he was second-guessing himself.
“Your directions were to tell me about it before you could give it to me?”
“No. My directions were to make sure I didn’t forget to give it to you. I’m so sorry.” He gave me a hug. “I didn’t realize you were so anxious about it. I like waiting for surprises.”
To be fair, I had been asking playfully, like it was a game instead of being upfront about how I felt. It made sense why he thought that.
“That’s okay. Not knowing who it’s from is hard, though. Please tell me.”
“If I tell you, just promise not to tell him that you knew before you opened it. Okay?”
I agreed, and he admitted that it was Zeph.
To think I thought knowing who it was from was going to help me sink into my little space.
I had been beyond wrong. It had done the opposite.
But this time, it was less about solving the mystery of who it was and more about wondering what Zeph wanted from me.
Was he interested in me as a little or as a man or as both?
Or was he just a nice guy who, when he saw things, picked them up for people.
There was a woman at work like that who cut out newspaper clippings and magazine articles for people because she remembered they mentioned something adjacent to the topic at hand once…
sometimes months ago. If not for her, I wouldn’t have known people still subscribed to either of those things.
But, as distracted as I was, I wasn’t giving up my playtime. I was going to have to pay for it with extra work tomorrow either which way. Might as well get the most out of it.
We raced cars, blew bubbles, went to story time…twice, made castles with blocks, played in a small ball pit they added for the night, and ate more than our share of little teddy bear-shaped graham crackers. But, all too soon, Ms. Lily was announcing that it was time to clean up and go home.
“I can’t remember the last time I stayed till closing,” Abbott said.
“I shouldn’t have. I’m far too tired for this.” Lake yawned.
I suspected we all felt the same. Morning was coming far too soon.
We piled in the car, and Abbott was the first dropped off, followed by me. Sammy gave me my gift as soon as we stopped.
“Be sure to let me know what it is.” He knew me well enough to know I wasn’t going to want to open it in front of all of them.
“Will do.”
I was barely in the door before I tore into my gift.
It wasn’t another tracking tag or different shape holder to put around it, but it was connected to my lunchbox.
It was one of those stuffie bag charms I loved so much but never bought for myself.
It was soft and adorable, and I loved it so much.
I looked at the little tag, and the name on it was crossed out and instead written in permanent marker—Glitter Monster.
“Glitter Monster.” It was the perfect gift.
I snapped a picture of it and sent it to Sammy then noticed something else in the package— a small card, but on it was the best gift of all…a phone number. Not just any phone number. Zeph’s. He was giving me permission to call him.
But it was late.
Really late.
I probably needed to wait until morning.
Except what if he was like me, wanting to know about the gift all night long, only from the other side of things?
Instead of calling him and disturbing him or waiting until morning, I shot him a quick text. I like being a Glitter Monster. Roar! I hit send before I could change my mind.