Chapter 10
Ellis
“You want me to… what?” Brody looked at me with an unreadable expression.
My momentary confidence wavered, and I stared down at the floor beneath my bare feet.
“I just… thought it would be something you’d like.”
“I’d like?”
Brody’s face was already flushed from my earlier attentions, but I swear it got redder as he gave me a knowing look and tipped my chin up to meet his gaze.
“You asked me to tie you to the bed. I don’t think this is about what I’d like. I think this is your interest. Tell me. With your memories back, have you also remembered your own… interests?”
I couldn’t answer. My throat felt like it was being constricted by an iron hand, even as the taste of him still lingered on my tongue. With my face burning and my breath coming in erratic little pants, I nodded.
Fear and excitement raced through me at the same time.
I was terrified that Brody would reject me.
That I’d pushed too far and now he was disgusted with me.
Yet, also brought with it a thrill. I’d taken a risk and put myself out there.
I was as vulnerable as I could be, without actually being tied up, and I had no idea what would happen.
The anticipation made my blood run hotter with each moment that passed as I waited for Brody to answer.
His hand rested light on my chest, just over my heart. It was an incredibly tender gesture, at odds with the heat of the moment.
“Explain it to me,” he eventually said. “I’m not saying no, but I’m also not going to say yes until I know exactly what you’re expecting. There’s been enough miscommunication between us. I don’t want any more.”
“I want…” My vocal cords twisted into a knot, and I couldn’t get the words out. I swallowed hard, trying to free up my voice, and I felt the heat of Brody’s gaze as he watched the motion. “I want you to make me feel like I belong to you. Like I’m yours to do whatever you want with. I want… I want…”
“You want to be made to submit,” he finished for me.
My words failed me again, so I just nodded.
“I’m guessing you don’t get many opportunities for that sort of role.” His gaze traveled up and down my body, and I knew exactly what he was talking about. Somehow, the fact that Brody already understood before I’d even managed to speak it out loud made the words easier to say.
I laughed with a sad little puff of air.
“Yeah. Anytime I suggest any sort of powerplay in bed, people always take one look at me and assume I want to be dominant. It’s hard to convince them otherwise.
I mean, I get it. I’m not the pretty little twink you usually picture when you think of a submissive, but… ”
I sighed, and my first instinct was to just say we should forget I’d ever suggested anything. However, I steeled my nerves and tried one last time, looking Brody directly in the eye with all the confidence I had.
“Just once I wish I didn’t have to defend myself. That when I told my partner my preferences, they’d just believe me, and that they’d want the same thing. And… and I was hoping you’d be that person.”
The hand on my chest slid higher until it rested on my collarbone, just under my throat.
“So, you want me to pin you down and own you.”
While technically a question, he said it with the certainty of a statement.
Swallowing again and holding my breath in anticipation, I nodded.
He moved his hand higher until it wrapped around my throat.
“I can do that.”
Just for a moment, his grip tightened, cutting off my air. Then, he shoved me backward, so I fell onto the bed. I barely had time to brace myself and keep track of my sprawling limbs before he was on me.
The last of our clothing was ripped away and tossed across the room where it was immediately forgotten. It was a warm night, but I still shivered under Brody’s gaze.
“Not getting overwhelmed already, are you?” he asked as he ran a hand down my side.
I responded by arching my back enough to grind our hips together.
He chuckled under his breath, creating a deep sound that made all the hair on my body stand on end. “I’ll take that as a no . Now, be patient. I need to get some stuff.”
I assumed I knew what he needed to get. We’d had sex in this bed before, and I’d already seen him fetch condoms and lube from the nightstand before. So, I was surprised when instead of simply reaching over for the nearby drawer, he stood from the bed and completely left the room.
Sitting on the bed, I was left there, stunned. For a moment, there was nothing but silence and I assumed he’d come right back. Then, faintly, I heard the sound of the back door opening.
Brody was completely naked. He couldn’t have left the house. Although, it was his property, and there were no neighbors to spy on him, so I supposed he could do whatever he wanted.
But why?
He seemed eager for what we were about to do. Surely, he hadn’t gotten cold feet and left me.
I debated going after him, counting the moments in my head until his return. When nearly a minute passed, I began to grow nervous and wandered toward the bedroom door.
My hand was almost on the handle when it suddenly opened. Luckily it swung away from me, otherwise it would have smacked me right in the face.
Brody stood in the doorway, nearly filling the entire space and trapping me inside the room without even trying. In his hand, he held a length of cotton rope.
“Getting impatient already?” he asked as he wound the rope around his hand as if testing its strength. “I told you to be patient.”
My eyes tracked the movement of the rope. It creaked a bit when pulled taught, and the sound made something deep in my gut clench with anticipation. “You were gone for a while.”
He gave the rope an extra twist, emphasizing the soft sound it made. “Took me longer to find this than I thought. But still…” He let go of the rope with one hand and reached up to cup my cheek. “When I tell you to be patient, I expect you to listen.”
Then he suddenly grabbed my shoulder and spun me around so I faced away from him.
Then, I was shoved harshly toward the bed.
It was rare that I found someone capable of pushing me around so easily.
Partners had tried in the past, but they usually just gave up and resorted to verbal orders when my size and weight proved too much for them.
Yet, Brody manhandled me so easily, it felt like my flesh and blood body had suddenly been replaced by paper. I stumbled and barely managed to catch myself on the bed, so I was on my hands and knees on the mattress.
Brody was immediately behind me, his hand on my back keeping me in place. “This is a lovely position, but not quite where I want you.”
Firmly but gently, I was rearranged and pushed down onto the mattress until I lay on my front in the center of the bed with my face buried against the blankets. I felt the bed shift as Brody climbed up on the bed as well, letting the full weight of his body settle over me and pin me in place.
“This all right?” he asked, his breath ghosting hot and wet over my ear.
My blood was rushing through my head, and at first, I didn’t realize he’d even spoken. After he repeated the question, a little more insistently, I finally managed to gather my wits enough to answer.
“Yeah, it’s… it’s good. I’m good.”
He gave a pleased hum, the vibration tickling my ear and making me squirm.
“Let me know if that changes. If we’re going to keep playing like this, we’ll have to set up some better ground rules and a safe word. For now, I won’t go too hard on you, but just say “switch” if you want me to stop.”
“Switch?”
“Like kill-switch.. Basically, it means an emergency stop.”
I committed the word to memory, but was also certain I wouldn’t need to use it. In that moment, Brody could have done anything to me, and I would eagerly accept.
While Brody kept me pinned under his weight, the cotton rope was wound around my wrists and attached to the headboard. The knots were solid and unyielding, yet not too tight to injure me or cut off circulation.
Still lying on my front, I glanced at Brody over my shoulder. “You’ve done this before.”
His fingers threaded through my hair in an achingly gentle touch, like he was petting something precious and fragile. It was a stark contrast to the sensual tone in his voice as he whispered directly into my ear.
“I took the time to learn a little Shibari on one of my tours when we were stationed in a remote village in Japan. I’ve played rough before.
It was fun, but my partners were never quite…
enough to really satisfy, so I usually don’t bother suggesting things like this.
” Slowly, he moved away from my ear and trailed his lips down the skin of my throat. “Think you can handle it?”
His teeth bit into the side of my neck, almost hard enough to draw blood. The sharp burst of pain made me scream, and my hips bucked. The thrashing caused my arousal to rub against the mattress below me, mixing pleasure with the pain.
I moaned when his teeth released me and collapsed against the bed as a tingling sensation danced up and down my spine.
“Yeah, I can take it,” I panted. “Please. More. I can definitely take it.”
Brody’s voice buzzed in my ear, though I was too blissed out to hear his specific words.
Just the tone was enough. He was pleased by my answer, but also skeptical.
He still wasn’t sure if I was telling the truth, and I couldn’t blame him for his hesitance.
We hadn’t known each other that long in the grand scheme of things, but I had one advantage over him.
I had my memories back, and I knew for a fact just how much I could take.