6. CHARLIE
6
CHARLIE
B oom!
I shut my eyes tightly, wrapping my arms around my body. The thunderstorm continues to rage outside, and no matter how many times I try to calm myself with deep breaths, my heart wont stop pounding in my chest.
Hayden hasnt said a word since we had to take cover inside, standing near the door and gazing out through the glass with his usual expressionnone. I think he still hopes that a miracle will happen and hell be able to leave. I can sense the agitation written in his rigid form.
Trust me, I dont want you here either, mister.
His clothes are still damp, and I frown at their wrinkled state and the awkward spikes standing all over his head.
Jared probably has a few items lying around that he could use. I draw my bottom lip into my mouth, gnawing on it. My eyes dart to the weather outside, and my stomach churns at the mere thought of leaving the safety of the couch.
But then my eyes drop to the puddle of water that the clothes have created around him, and I sigh inwardly.
I make my way to Jareds room, ignoring his curious eyes.
Its as stereotypical as can be, resembling a teenage boys bedroom with Playboy posters and football trophies in various sections of the room. I select a few items from his wardrobe, their sizes a little off for someone as big as Hayden. However, when the sky bursts open again, rattling everything in the room, I grab the first thing I touch and scramble to the living room so quickly that I nearly trip over my own feet. Hayden stares at me, breathless, and then at the clothes in my hand.
For you, I pant, extending my arms to him.
His eyes narrow slightly as he takes the clothes from my hands. But he doesnt move an inch. Are you unaware that storms happen outside, not inside the cabin?
Thank you for that, Captain Obvious, I roll my eyes, walking back over to the couch. Hayden disappears for a moment to change clothes.
Would you like me to make some tea?
I jump, placing a hand on my chest. Can you make some noise when . . .
The sight before me squeezes my throat until Im breathless.
Jareds shirt fits Hayden like a glove. Hed probably rip it apart trying to put it on if it were any smaller. My eyes roam over him, desperately trying to take it all in, afraid Im just imagining all of this.
The cotton fabric hugs his muscular frame, highlighting every curve and bulge.
Suddenly, I cant remember why I was scared in the first place. I struggle to pull awayor to remember his questionespecially when his pecks stare at me. Like a burst of flames, my whole body ignites at the sight of him wearing sweatpants once again, fully aware of what lies beneath them.
My mind takes me back to when we would sneak aroundstealing touches when Jared wasnt looking and sneaking into each others rooms when everyones lights went off.
I dont know if my parents would have made a fuss, but Jared was definitely not okay with any funny business, and I always wondered why. He made it clear to me when he realized I had a slight crush.
Ill just make a pot of it then, he replies, snapping me back to the moment. A hot blush covers my cheeks. Get a grip, Charlie.
Still, yearning for those stolen moments fills me with nostalgia in the cozy cabin. Like a tragic figure, my heart is burdened with lust and longing for a man who pretends to barely know me.
He turns his back to me, but that isnt any better than the front. Every single part of him demands attention. Every inch of smooth skin, every muscle flexing underneath his shirt, pains me to admit it.
It infuriates me how he makes heat pool between my legs without even looking at me.
A gust of wind pushes through the slits of the window, harmonizing with the kettle as he raises his hands to warm them over the steam.
Shamelessly, my eyes dart to his exposed skin, only to suck in a deep breath.
On his lower back, there are a series of deep wounds etched into his skin so deeply that little lesions have settled over them in different sizes.
He looks like hes had tiny knives repeatedly searing through his flesh, and my stomach churns at how ghastly it is.
Hayden twists his head, and abruptly drops his hands.
The energy in the air shifts from being light and awkward to awkward and downright suffocating.
He turns around, his jaw clenched, and his gaze locks on me. I flicker my eyes back to his, unable to resist the pull he has on me.
Come here.
My eyes widen, and I swallow hard at the sight of the storm brewing in his gaze. I stand hesitantly, approaching him as if Im spellbound.
Closer.
Im already as close as Id like to be. I hesitate. The tension in the room squeezes all the air from my lungs.
I place a hand against his hard chest to brace myself. His muscles tense beneath my touch.
Our faces are inches away from each other. So close that all Id have to do is stand on my tippy toes, and our lips would touch.
My tongue peaks out and darts across my bottom lip, desperate for any moisture. His gaze sharpens.
When Hayden leans in, Im sure Im about to faint. My eyes widen, and my face grows hot.
His hands are still on mine, dragging them underneath his shirt. I touch his abs first, feeling him shiver against my fingertips, still peering into my eyes.
He drags it along the sides of his body, and he leans in even more, his eyes dropping onto my lips. Blood roars in my ear, and my face tints a darker shade of pink.
With everything in me, I hope he cant hear how hard and fast my heart is beating.
And thenI feel it.
The scars.
Hayden presses my hand against them until theyre flat, and I cant help but drag my hands up and down and all around the length of his back.
There are just so many of them. Some as long as my index finger.
What happened, Hayden? I try to sound firm, but my voice trembles.
Thats not important, he grunts. The point is, you dont know me, Charlie. You may have known me five years ago, but thats a completely different person.
I hesitate, swallowing hard as I take a step forward. Hayden pins me with a warning look.
Then I want to get to know that person, I say quietly.
You dont. If you think these scars are ugly, then youll hate the person wearing them.
Hayden
Maybe we should address what we had, he says in a tight, controlled voice. Or maybe we should just realize that theres nothing to address. We were young, we were sneaking aroundthats all it was. Fun.
Ouch.
Youre all grown up now, and you have real responsibilities and a different life. I dont have an explanation for you, Charlie, nor do I owe you one. So you can stop the puppy-eyed looks and focus on your life.
The venom in his voice feels like a slap.
He turns around, pouring himself a cup of tea, and I clamp my lips shut. I look around the room as my throat thickens with tears. Rage burns inside of me as the memories flood tenfold.
Let him go.
Why does that feel even more impossible?
He settles by the door again. My feet carry me to the window on the other end of the room while the wind blows fiercely outside.
I suppose the storm isnt so bad when it doesnt sound like the sky is about to collapse when its just the rain and a bit of breeze.
And then, as if the universe wants to say, Watch this, a branch breaks off right in front of me, and my lips part as the wind propels it toward the window.
I open my mouth to scream, but the sound of shattering glass silences me, hurling me to the floor with the force of the wind.
Charlie!