Chapter Twenty-seven
Clifton
I find myself watching my father’s chest rise and fall once more, but this time, I’m relieved.
He woke up this morning confused and weak, but alive. He recognized me and smiled, reaching out to touch my arm before falling back asleep. Somehow he”d come through, despite the life-threatening infection that they’d missed.
I can”t count the number of times I”ve been told that my father”s a fighter over the last few days. A car accident couldn”t kill him. Sepsis couldn”t kill him. My behavior as a teenager couldn”t kill him... The man might be invincible.
He still looks frail and pale with all the wires and machines hooked up to him.
With all the odds stacked against him, he survived.
“I don”t like that look.”
I glance up to see he”s awake again. He gestures at my face. “You”re going to give yourself wrinkles if you keep making that face.”
I shrug. I don”t give a damn about wrinkles. “Well, I”m going to blame you because watching you teeter on the brink of death several times has aged me.”
He gives a weak chuckle, then winces.
“Are you in pain? I’ll call in a nurse.” I reach out to press the call nurse button, but his hand stops mine.
“I”m fine. And so are you.” His gaze locks on mine. “Thank you for being here beside me when I needed you the most. We both know I didn”t deserve it.”
“Bullshit, Dad. You did the best you could with what you had, and I”m not going to hold that against you. Now moving forward, if you behave the same way, I will hold it against you.” I rub his arm above the IV and he relaxes in place.
“How are things at work?” he asks.
“I really don”t think you should be worrying about work right now. But because I know you”ll obsess over it if I don”t give you an answer, everything is running great.” Pulling my chair closer to him, I watch him fiddle with the bed controls, raising himself up so he’s in more of a sitting position, gripping his ribs with his unbroken arm as he moves.
“Well, now you”ve hurt my feelings. The place runs fantastic without me there?” I can hear the laughter in his voice, and I”m so grateful that he retained his sense of humor. Right now, I feel like he”s the luckiest man alive and I”m the luckiest son.
“That”s exactly what I said. How are you feeling?” I want him to tell me - in his own words - how he”s doing right now. All of the doctors and nurses have repeatedly assured me that he doesn”t feel any pain thanks to all the pain meds in his system. But I need to hear him say it.
“Surprisingly good for a dead man.”
I smile, not at all surprised he knows how close his brush with death was.
“But enough about me,” he says. “There”s something I want to talk to you about.”
I”m all ears, fully expecting him to talk about the firm and how he plans to work back into his position of power. I”ve already made a plan that will allow him to work remotely until he is comfortable coming to the office... when he’s ready and at his pace.
“Clifton, I know about Emma.”
My heart drops all the way to the morgue in the basement of the hospital, and it freezes as it stops beating.
“You what?” I don”t even know what to say or how to respond. What exactly does he know about? Somehow, I manage to keep my voice calm.
He lets out a chuckle and winces. “That hurt. Don”t play dumb with me, son. I”ve seen the way she looks at you and the way you look at her. If I didn”t know any better, I”d think you were both in love.” But he doesn”t sound upset by the words coming out of his mouth, and that only makes me more curious. I know my face is turning red, but I don”t know what to say or how to explain myself.
“Well, do you love her?” he asks, adjusting his IV tubing before looking at me again.
Swallowing hard, I nod my head, unable to make my vocal cords work.
A slight smile tugs the corners of his lips. “It”s okay, Clifton. I”m happy for you. She”s a wonderful girl. Smart, kind, beautiful. Perfect for you.” I sense there”s something he”s holding back, and I wait for the other shoe to drop.
“So why haven”t you made her yours?” he asks, sounding curious.
A painful lump forms in my throat. I”m not sure how to tell him. Knowing how he feels now, I know that he is going to be very disappointed when he learns that I broke up with her.
I regret the decision but that doesn”t go very far in taking it back or fixing anything. I miss her messages and her phone conversations and her smile. And it”s the sound of her voice and the way she makes me feel about myself.
“You know, it”s more complicated than that, Dad,” I say.
He arches an eyebrow. “How is it complicated? You love her, she loves you. Make her yours. What”s the problem?” I can”t tell if the man is deliberately missing the point or just messing with me.
I let out a sigh. “The problem is, I”m your son. I”m the heir of the firm and I have a reputation to uphold.” I stand up and make my way to the window, looking out over the beautiful green gardens outside. “I have a responsibility to the firm, and I can”t be with someone who works for me. It is unprofessional and against company policy, and I have to set a good example for everyone else that works with me or no one will respect me.”
“Oh, horse hockey,” he says. “That”s nonsense. You”re not your job, you”re not the firm, you”re a human being with a heart and a soul - you have the right to be happy.”
I don”t understand why he”s not getting it. But as I open my mouth to try to explain further, he talks over me, his voice sounding stronger than it did before. “If Emma makes you happy, then you should be with her. Screw the rules, people’s thoughts about it, and screw the firm.”
I don’t understand why he wants me to single handedly destroy the business he built. Has he lost his mind? Maybe the brain damage was more extensive than we thought.
“Sell the damn firm, I don’t give a damn. I want you to be happy. Too much of your life has been unhappy. You deserve joy.” He lets out another soft cough.
“Why would I do that, Dad?” I ask softly, trying to hear him out.
“Because it”s never going to make you happy.” He inhales a deep breath and continues. “You need to find your own path, your own passion. I don”t want you to waste your life doing something you don”t love. Don”t let the firm define you or control you or ruin you.”
I thought that when he told me to sell the firm it was because he was delirious with sepsis. Now that I know that”s not the case, I”m stunned to hear that he still wants me to sell it. He devoted his life to that place and passed it on to me as his legacy.
“I can’t do that, Dad,” I say.
“Why not?” He sounds like the answer is so simple he can’t figure out why I’d push back.
“Because this is your life”s work, your dream. I”m not just going to throw it away and give up.” The last thing I want to do now is let him down.
But he shakes his head. “You”re not throwing it away or giving it up or letting me down. You”re doing what”s best for you. You”re doing what I should have done a long time ago.” His eyes unfocus, and I sense that he”s thinking about my mother. He”s only gone for a moment before he comes back and locks his gaze with mine. “I love you more than I love the firm. I always have. You are my legacy, and I’m proud of you.”
His words warm me deep inside, but he’s not done talking. “She is the only thing that matters and if selling the firm makes you happy and leaves you free to be with Emma, then I want you to do that. Don”t be held back by what you think I want. I want you to do whatever is best for you.”
I swallow hard, thinking about the fact that I”d broken things off with Emma, probably in a way that I can never fix.
“Yeah, about that, Dad,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck with one hand.
“Don”t even start, son. She’d be lucky to have you, too. Maybe not as lucky as you would be to have her, but...” He trails off, an evil twinkle in his eyes.
“Oh, gee, thanks. You’re saying she’s more of a catch than I am?” I ask, the wheels in my mind turning as a whole new possibility opens up on the horizon.
“Absolutely,” he says before growing serious. “Trust me, she”s the one for you. I don”t know how you haven”t seen it yet. You’re thicker than quicksand sometimes.”
“That’s what I was trying to tell you, Dad.” A tsunami of shame crashes over me, and my voice lowers as if I can hide the truth. “I broke things off with her a few days ago.”
“Well, unbreak things off.” He sounds set and I shake my head.
“I don”t think it”s going to be that easy.” I wander back over to my seat by his bedside. “I broke up with her the worst way possible over text, and I haven”t talked to her since.”
I hear him make a hissing sound as he draws a deep breath between his teeth. “That does complicate things a little bit, but I think that you have the my dad almost died card, so you can probably get away with being a colossal jerk.”
The fact that he just said almost exactly what Emma and I had previously said brings a smile to my face. “You know what? You might be right.”
I pull my phone out of my pocket, then stare at my father for a moment.
“What?” he asks, looking a little worried.
“I just had what I think is a good idea, but I”m going to need a lawyer.”
He very slowly lifts one hand to cover his face, as if he can”t believe I just said those words.
“An outside lawyer, Dad. I”m not a dip wit.”
He lifts both shoulders. “You did break up with Emma, so the jury is still out on that one.”
Oof. “Try to keep the gloves above the belt, please,” I say. “Don’t you need to sleep or something?”
He chuckles and relaxes back a little bit with a sigh. “I think I”m ready for that nurse now,” he says.
I press the call button and let them know he’s awake and feeling some pain. They assure us they’ll be right in and I thank them.
Dad, however, has already gone back to trying to figure things out. “An outside lawyer, huh? What are you up to?” he muses under his breath, correctly assuming I’m not about to tell him my secrets.
There’s no way he’ll guess what I have planned. It’s so elegant, simple, and perfect. I know how I’m going to win Emma back - if she’ll have me. I know there’s a possibility that I screwed things up beyond repair, but I’m going to hope for the best. And heck, this plan might just win her back even if she hates me now.
I decide to toss my dad a bone. “I’m going to fire her.”
He lifts his head, looking at me like I”ve lost my mind. And maybe I have. “I don”t think making her hate you is the way to win her heart.”
I can only hope that my gamble pays off exactly how I hope it will, and I lift a shoulder at my father. “I guess we”ll see what happens, huh?”