Chapter 20
Taking this step has been an epic size mistake.
I realize it at the same moment he starts to move inside me. He’s so big and so hard. My eyes are closed, my mouth is open, and my heart is racing in my chest like a stallion in the middle of a race.
Yes, the feeling is wonderful, and I’ve never felt so complete before. Every inch of my body feels alive as he claims me again. But, the problem is that if any of this goes wrong, I know I won’t be able to recover. If he were to lie to me again, if there was something more hidden in our midst, I’m sure it would be my end.
“This feels real,” I whisper.
“It is, love, it is.” His very accurate answer goes straight to my heart, squeezes my chest, and makes me smile. “It’s real and eternal.”
He showers kisses down my temple, down my cheeks, across the line of my jaw. And his strong hands touch my breasts, I arch at the sensations.
“Stella,” Lionel tugs on my body and drops my legs. He pushes me to find him in the middle. Moving as fast as I can. “Baby, don’t rush, let it last.”
But I can’t. My mind is clouded by this overwhelming desire. I’m desperate for it. The blood that runs through my veins is charged with pleasure. And this is all his fault. He transformed me into a shameless woman who isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants so badly.
Payback time, Kral.
He pushes harder, deeper, giving my body what it’s asking for. “You feel so good. Can you feel how hard I am for you? How hard I’m losing control, Stella?”
Control? What control? I don’t know the meaning of that word anymore.
When I open my eyes, his intense gaze meets mine. He’s everywhere. It is undeniable, each sense, each of my heartbeats, each moan leaving my lips bears his name.
The room is filled with the sounds of our pleasure, our rapid breaths, and his skin against mine. I can’t keep my hands on his shoulders, my fingers itching to touch him, to claim him as mine in the same way he’s doing with me.
My nails dig into his skin, we both become desperate and frantic when we both ride out our orgasms. My eyes fill with tears. This is too much.
The love I feel for him is so great that it fills everything, fixes the cracks that threaten to break my heart, and makes everything brighter.
More exciting.
“Don’t cry,” he says, kissing my cheeks again. “Don’t be afraid we’ll be fine. This is a new beginning, Stella, our do-over.”
“Lionel, I…”
“I take good care of what’s mine. I know that this situation of ours is special, but the future awaits us,” he declares, looking at me with intensity, his eyes burning into me. “Now, you’re mine.”
“I’ve always been yours,” I gasp. “Always.”
“Now more than ever.” I want to argue with him, he’s the only one, the owner of my heart, but air can’t reach my lungs. He stole my breath away.
His head falls on my chest, and from his chest comes a small laugh that reverberates in mine.
“There are no words…” he murmurs, and although he hasn’t finished the sentence, I fully understand what just happened.
His hands caress my sides while mine tangle in his hair, holding him right where he is, although he has tried to move, not to crush me with the weight of his body. And the truth is that I love it. I love the feeling of his strength on me.
Alive.
Owned.
And the certainty of something falls on me like a bucket of ice water.
Mentally I begin to count. What have I done?
God, what have I done?
“Lionel,” I tell him. The concern is noticeable in my voice.
“Don’t tell me you left something in the oven, and it’s about to burn. I couldn’t move even if I wanted to. And I don ’ t want to. ” He leaves a kiss on the side of my boob.
In response, I laugh, but this is serious.
“Lionel, what we just did…” I start, and he stops me.
“Don’t give it too much thought. We are married.”
“Lionel, I’m not on the pill,” I say in a shaky voice. “I know that since we got married, you wanted children, but we should wait.”
Moving nimbly, he lies on his back, taking me with him. Now, I’m resting on his chest. This is my home. I want to stay and live here forever.
“We’ve been trying for three months,” I continue, reviewing the facts. “It would be ironic if it happens when I tell you that I think we should wait. Right?”
I hear him take a deep breath before speaking. His left hand continues to move tenderly down my back, through my hair. I run my fingers through the short hair on his chest and down his torso. Across the wound and surgery scars. Down the muscles on either side of his body.
It’s incredible, this man is mine.
That makes me feel like a goddess and, at the same time, so humble.
Why me? A girl who doesn’t have anything that makes her stand out in a crowd.
“Never be afraid to tell me what you think,” he says. I move to look at him, resting my chin on his chest. He has his head on his right arm and is looking at the ceiling. “I agree, we should wait. Why rush when we have our whole life ahead of us? Also, I’m not ready to share you just yet. Wow, I’m not even ready to go back to work on Monday and leave you here at home.”
I pat him on the shoulder, being careful not to hurt him. He’s pretty recovered, but still…
“I hope you haven’t made any plans to get out of the house this weekend,” he laughs. “Tomorrow, I’m going to buy the biggest box of condoms they have at the pharmacy, and after that, I’m not going to let you out of this bed. You’ve been summoned, Mrs. Kral.”
This is also new. It’s been a long time since we’ve stayed in bed talking and laughing at nonsense. “What? And like a good wife, I have to fulfill my conjugal duties?”
The sound of a slap on my butt fills the room, it didn’t hurt, but something hot builds up again between my legs.
I caress his face with my hand. His stubble has grown, giving him a more rugged appearance. Wilder. And I love it.
He takes my hand in his, kissing my wrist and then looking at the gold band that he put on my finger the day we got married.
“God, I hate that ring.” His statement takes me by surprise.
“Why? You gave it to me.” It’s a symbol of our bond.
Although he never wanted to wear his.
“You deserve better,” he says, looking back at my hand. “You deserve the whole world, if someone made you believe otherwise…”
I’m not sure it’s the right time, but since we’re talking.
“I still don’t understand, Lionel. I still don’t understand why you lied to me.”
He takes a deep breath. I know that he’s taking his time to build a response that comes out without stuttering.
“We all make mistakes, Hvězda . There are things that I still need to figure out before I can talk to you about them, but the most important thing is that I want you to let go of the past and what binds you to it. It’s time to build the future—our future.”
Suddenly, images of our future flash in front of me like a movie. Celebrating our first anniversary, Thanksgiving with his mother and mine. Me making my soaps in the kitchen while Lionel reviews his business paperwork at the kitchen counter. Eating fried chicken on the patio.
A future full of laughter and joy. A future full of love.
Expectations and dreams being finally fulfilled.
“You think it’s possible?”
“Nothing is impossible for you, Stella Kral, believe it.” Lionel takes my face in his hands, kissing my mouth slowly, my lips open for his tongue to enter and explore. There is no more urgency, only this flame that makes us burn over low heat. “And here I am, walking by your side, ready to help you make all that your heart desires come true.”
“When you talk like that, you make me believe, Lionel.”
“Then go for it, believe it and kiss me.”
I do what he says. For a long time, there are no more words between us. This time I’m on top, moving at my own pace, rewarded with moans and kisses on my breasts. With caresses on my torso, with looks full of passion.
Our bodies communicate in silence, in the darkness of our room, in a language that only our hearts can decipher.
???
“No more Mississippi in this bed,” Lionel mutters as he curls his body around mine. I like this new spooning sleeping arrangement.
“It’s a vast river,” I reply, smiling as I think that there are no more walls between us.
“Not enough to keep me away from you, baby,” he says. “Sooner or later, I would have built a bridge. Construction is my jam, ya know? Nothing could ever separate us.”
Nothing.
He says it, and I want to believe him. I wish I could close my eyes and imagine that danger isn’t lurking in the shadows. No one has told me much about what happened, but the threat is still there, waiting for us to lower our guard.
The thought of losing him while he goes to the office or some job site makes my blood run cold.
Forever . Regardless of the circumstances beyond our control.
What if our forever is too short? Please no, I want to grow old here in this place, this one that has become my favorite, naked and in his arms. Feeling the slow rhythm of his breathing in my ear.
I caress his arm resting on my belly, imagining the moment when a small person grows in it. Not now, of course. But at some point in the distant future.
The sunlight streaming in through the window wakes me up in the morning. Why didn’t I think of closing the curtains last night? Because I was thinking of other things. I reach out without opening my eyes, searching for his warm body, but I only find empty cold sheets.
I stretch, and my body hurts, reminding me of what we did last night and this morning. After our first time, there were two more times. No, I’m not kidding. We were like two horny teenagers who couldn’t get enough of each other.
By the way, what time is it?
I sit in bed, ready to search for my cell phone, when the door opens. Lionel enters, carrying a tray in his hands.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he says with a grin from ear to ear. I definitely won the lottery with this one. “How is my wife this morning?”
I can’t help smiling. He’s so sweet.
And it never ceases to amaze me that this man has chosen me.
“Breakfast,” he announces, leaving the tray beside me.
No, this isn’t a miracle. He didn’t actually cook, or rather burn anything. He’s brought some yogurt, fruit, granola, and juice for both of us.
The gesture reaches my soul, breakfast in bed? Not even my parents on my birthday would do this. No one has ever done this for me, not even him. He really has changed. The Lionel from before would have woken me up complaining that his stomach is growling, and then he would kiss me to get me out of bed… no, I don’t even want to think about it.
“Wow, you’re a resourceful man,” I reply before his lips touch mine in a slow kiss. “Good morning to you, too.”
He smiles, and he looks so handsome. He has wild hair and is only dressed, or half-dressed, in his boxers, so my eyes enjoy the view.
“Happy?” he asks, looking me in the eye, looking for answers in the windows of my soul. Yeah, very Shakespeare of me. Love is in the air, can you blame me?
“Extremely,” I reply sincerely. “You make me very happy, Lionel. Deliriously happy.”
He smiles again. Gosh, those eyes, the color of melted chocolate, light up.
“Are you up for an adventure?”
My eyes widen in surprise. What is he up to? “BDSM is not really my thing,” I answer half-jokingly.
Lionel throws his head back with a hearty laugh.
“You like a little spice,” he adds, leaning over me to take a light bite from the nipple covered in the fabric of the sheets.
Yes, that’s true. He has awakened a part of me that I didn’t know existed. And I want to know what else is hiding behind the curtain of my shyness.
My body has very few curves, but Lionel doesn’t seem to care. More than that, he seems delighted, adoring my skin as if he always wanted to carry my taste on his lips.
“But it’s not that,” he says as he straightens his back, staring at me again. “I thought maybe we could go out and take a walk around the city, you arrived almost a month ago, and the only thing you have seen are the walls of this house.”
Nothing wrong with these walls, but my mouth opens. I can hardly believe it. Going out sounds incredible.
“Is it possible?” I ask him. “I mean, I would love to, but after what happened, do you think it’s wise to go out?”
I don’t want him to take unnecessary risks to make me happy. Not when what is at stake is his life. That is irreplaceable.
He sighs before answering. “A little while ago, I called Ethan. His staff is well-trained, we won’t be alone. They’re the best in town and will keep us safe, trust me.”
A smile pulls my lips up, and he does the same.
“What are we waiting for then?” My voice is full of emotion. I would go to the end of the world with this man, a tour of the City of Angels is an excellent place to start. “I’m going to have a quick shower.”
I try to get out of bed, but his hand on my shoulder stops me.
“Breakfast first, Mrs. Kral,” he says with a playful smile, mischief gleaming deep in his dark eyes. “Something tells me you’re going to need all that energy.”
I don’t know if he means more fun in our bed or if he’s talking about our adventure outside this house. None of that is important, as long as we are together.
Together and moving forward.
Because the future awaits us.