Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Mal
First Steps Forward
I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to that revelation so I choose the wisest course and say absolutely zilch.
I know that shifter justice is a thing—right or wrong—and I’m certain my father has taken people out.
Probably for lesser and more personal slights than trying to rape or molest people, because my father is a petty fucking bitch.
I don’t stay late talking with Todd because we both need to get up early. Still, I feel a twinge of regret that I have to say goodnight and head back to my little apartment.
My home.
For now, anyway.
And truly, it already feels like home to me. I feel wanted here, which might sound weird considering I barely know these people.
Other than rare instances when alone with Mom, I already feel more like I belong with this pack than I ever did growing up in my family.
And how sad is it that those instances with Mom, my father was nowhere around when they happened.
Like she’s as afraid of him as everyone else is.
I mean, there’s no like about it—she is afraid of him.
My one regret is she couldn’t come with me. Even if I ever earn the resources to support her and spirit her away, I suspect my father would relentlessly chase her and drag her home over the principle of the matter, not because he loves her.
And divorce? Forget that. A divorce would tarnish Randolph Sterling’s reputation, especially when he’s trying to raise his public profile as he runs for office.
And because he’d worry about his secrets getting out in a divorce proceeding. Which is another reason I’m sure he wants to reel me in, so I can’t expose him.
I honestly can’t say our father loves any of us because I don’t think there’s room inside his heart beyond his love of power and money and prestige.
Control.
We’re possessions, not family. Even my older brothers, who are his useful tools.
I don’t know what I’ll do if he wins his race and eventually tries to achieve a higher office.
Goddess help us all if he ever sets foot inside the Oval Office as its occupant or in some other role close to POTUS. I know he’d exact revenge on all perceived personal enemies and then proceed to wipe out as many humans as possible.
As I settle into bed, I know I won’t be awake for long…
But then thoughts of Todd firmly wedge themselves in my brain and won’t go away.
I know what might help, though.
I shove my boxers down and spit in my hand before grabbing my cock, which remained semi-hard all evening.
The guy’s fucking hot. I don’t know how long I’ll be around here, but if I can’t stay I hope I get to ride his cock at least once before I move on.
I mean, Jax and Shawn and the other guys aren’t bad-looking either, but there’s just…something different about the bull elk I can’t stop thinking about.
Am I aware it could be a form of trauma bonding? Maybe a—HA!—fawning response for the handsome elk since my flight-or-fight has waned now that I’ve reached relative safety?
Duh. Of course.
Do I care?
Not at all. I will be careful around him, though, because I don’t want to make things weird. Private fantasies while alone in my bed are a completely different thing from following him around like a lovesick puppy.
Except the possibility of that huge 6’-9” man rutting me until my eyes roll back in my head is a tasty hope that has me quickly shooting my load into my fist while my entire body deliciously shudders.
I bet he’d have me walking funny for a few days, at least.
And I’m certain I’d love every fricking second of it.
I sleep like a damned rock, and that alone could prove addictive. I can’t remember the last time I had so much good sleep in a row. The next morning, I’m over at Todd’s fifteen minutes early. I don’t even have to knock because he hears me and turns, calling for me to come in.
“Help yourself to coffee,” he says. “This’ll be ready in a minute.”
I walk over to pour myself a cup. “Anything I can do to help?”
He tosses me a smile. “Nope. Not today. Maybe tomorrow I’ll test your egg skills.”
“I can do scrambled and scrambled. Or, if you want me to get fancy and make an omelet, I can do scrambled.”
He laughs and the deep, rumbling sound of it practically curls my toes.
It also hardens my cock, so I surreptitiously adjust myself when my back’s to him.
Again, the whole “I don’t want to make this weird” thing. He’s done me a huge favor. This has been the softest landing I could have ever wished for. Except for worrying about my father finding me, this is literally the best living situation I’ve had in…forever, it feels like.
My father’s house is luxurious, yes, but it’s still a prison. I’ve lived in far worse conditions, eaten far worse food, and worked harder at grosser jobs for far less pay.
In my book? This is a win across the board.
“Oh, Jax texted me,” Todd says. “He wants your old cell phones and any other devices that your dad might track, and said not to turn them on if you haven’t already. Plus, he needs access to your email, socials, all that.”
“Sure. It’s just my phones. One my dad knows about, and the other he doesn’t. I hope. And no, I haven’t turned on either of them since I left. I have a new burner, and I dumped my old burner when I got that, but there’s no way he could’ve tracked either of those. Paid cash. Why does Jax want it?”
“He wants to see if they’re still tracking you. We’ll need the phone lock codes, too.”
“Sure. I’ll grab them.”
I retrieve them for Todd and write down all the information for him.
After we finish breakfast and I help clean up the kitchen, I ride out to the main barn with him on the ATV.
Today, I know some of the routine already, so I can get started immediately without needing detailed instructions.
By lunch, I’m famished, and all the men I’ve worked with have been friendly and encouraging, making a point of telling me I’m doing a good job, and tolerating my questions about the job and the pack. Terry, the barn manager, especially so.
Honestly? I’d be happy doing this for the foreseeable future. Maybe I shouldn’t let my guard down yet but it’s hard not to relax when I feel safe.
And feeling safe’s a luxury I can’t ever remember feeling.
Would I love to be rich? Sure, but even more importantly I want to be safe and happy. Money cannot buy peace of mind, no matter what some people claim.
I’m fully aware I need to get my shit together. Maybe this is exactly what I need right now.
Todd brings us lunch again, and I learn this isn’t special treatment; he does this every day.
All the guys seem to like him both as a person and as a boss.
Any grumbles I hear aren’t to do with their employment, although I’ve already heard more cow shit jokes in the past two days than I have in my entire life.
“Boss,” Terry says, “I think you need to figure a way to keep this guy around for the long haul.”
Todd looks at me. “Yeah?”
I feel my face heat at the praise and take another bite of my sandwich.
“Yeah. Good worker. Smart guy, and I don’t have to ride his ass to keep him moving. Fits in well around here.”
I glance up and when my gaze catches Todd’s I feel heat roil deep inside me, like he’s reaching inside my soul with his.
Shoving another bite of sandwich into my pie hole saves me from inserting my foot into it.
“We’ll see what Jax says,” Todd says as he watches me. “He gets the final word, after all.”
I think if my father ruins this opportunity for me I’ll be tempted to kill him myself. Even if I can’t take him out, it’d be worth being put out of my misery.
Because there’s no way in hell I’m going back.
Ever.