Chapter Thirty-Six
Todd
Starry Wishes
If I shut the milker off right now, I might have to leave Mal there and let someone else come free him while I run for my life.
Again, not an uncommon reaction in newbies to my fun room.
I have fun even if I’m not actively involved in fucking them or getting sucked because the sexy energy radiating off them as they cycle through the pleasure-pain of being forced to repeatedly orgasm, whether they want to or not, is just… special.
The helplessness, the handing over control to their own body and basic instincts while the milker chugs away.
Ironically, while I’ve had people safeword, I’ve never had someone safeword during their very first milker session.
Ever.
I’m talking at least fifty guys over the years.
Especially when they’re strapped down like this.
I’ve had guys who weren’t on their first session safeword two or three orgasms into the process—yes, they were immediately released—but their first time?
It’s like they connect to the Goddess and commune with Her for a while because their body yanks them into another plane of consciousness.
As I watch Mal struggle to remain one with his body, I wonder what it’d be like looking up at him while bouncing him on my cock, his hands braced on my pecs as I slake my morning woody inside him.
Wonder what it’d be like to wake up to him doing that every morning.
Forever.
I’ll admit that when I bought the first goat milker, after having a d’oh moment during morning milking in my cattle barn, I didn’t tell anyone about it.
Sure, there’s porn aplenty of guys getting down with a milker, but I wasn’t sure if it’d live up to the hype. And, to be honest, I felt kind of silly about it. Unusual for me to feel self-conscious about something sexual, but this was new territory.
I dragged it into my bedroom with me that night, set it up, lay back, and turned it on.
I nearly burst my own eardrums I bugled so loud and long as my cock immediately gave up load number one.
I stopped after the third one but wished I’d lasted longer.
Except it’s hard to force yourself to do something sexual that turns uncomfortable, no matter how good it feels, even though it’s sexy as fuck when someone “makes” you do it for them.
Yeah, I know. Ironic.
Brains are weird, especially the sexy parts.
I experimented with the setup for another couple of weeks, including utilizing cock rings and straps and stumbling over the numbing lube, before calling Jax and inviting him over one night. That was a few months before he met Shawn.
But Jax tied me up and fucked me while the machine sucked me, then he tried the machine while I fucked him, and by the time we were both exhausted we agreed it was addictively good.
That was when the first iteration of my frame came to life.
By the time Shawn had his third mating heat while he was with Jax I’d refined it, and Jax wore an evil smile as Shawn’s horny energy was easily managed without the coyote wearing everyone out in the process.
Later, we realized we could incorporate it not only as mating heat management but also as part of initiation ceremonies when someone wanted to be there and couldn’t, or for some reason didn’t participate in person during the last stage.
They could get milked and we just mix it all together and dump it on the initiate.
Usually, when that happens, it’s because an Alpha or beta is particularly territorial and doesn’t want their mate to do it in public.
Or even an Alpha or beta who wants to participate but knows their mate would prefer they don’t.
Also not uncommon to use it on those occasions when it’s a woman being initiated.
Like I said, Jax is accommodating.
I massage the pup’s scalp and slowly start fucking his mouth, not too deep because I don’t want to gag him and interrupt this fun time for him. Nothing but pleasure—that’s all I want him to remember. A damned good memory.
Especially when there’s no telling what the near future might hold.
“Ooooh, my sweet boy,” I rumble. “I could easily get addicted to this. To you.”
That’s not a lie. He moans and eagerly goes after my meat, even while he’s helplessly writhing in his restraints. I think after the next one I’ll shut off the milker.
His mouth feels sooo good and it’s too easy to let my mind spin out countless sexy activities I want to do with him once he’s through initiation.
If he wants to.
Hopefully, he doesn’t meet someone he feels an immediate mate bond with during that process.
The thought of that again sends a whisper of jealousy through me, territoriality, that someone else might get to have forever with him.
Wait. What?
No, I’ve never felt like this about a guy before.
I mean… What is this, exactly?
Is this a mate bond?
But it couldn’t be, right? I’ve seen guys with that and you literally can’t pry them apart with a fire hose and two tow trucks when they meet. It’s a deep, instinctive need that usurps nearly everything else until it’s satisfied and their mate is claimed.
Isn’t it?
I shove that aside for now because there are too many variables for me to consider and my cock is being sucked and the vibrations from his moans add an extra layer of yum to the whole thing.
Fun now, thinking later.
Much later.
When his next one finally starts catching up with him, I’ve been holding back for several minutes and can unload with a satisfied grunt as he screams and swallows and his body jerks against the straps.
I wait a few more seconds and switch the milker off but I don’t move except to set the controller aside so I can stroke his head with both hands.
He goes limp in the restraints, his mouth still sucking my cock, his tongue exploring, like he never wants to let me go.
I know the feeling.
I don’t speak because I don’t know where his head’s at and I don’t want to disturb his headspace. Instead, I trail my hands down and across his shoulders, leaning in so I can rub along his spine, up again, down his arms, to his hands, where I curl my fingers around his.
He’s still breathing heavy when his fingers tighten around mine, not in a quick squeeze, but in a grip that doesn’t loosen.
I fold my body over his as best I can in this position and feather my lips along his spine, licking the sweat from his body.
He tastes as sweet as he smells, and when I finally stand and move to withdraw from his mouth, he tightens his lips around me and sucks, making an adorable, muffled uh-uh sound.
That makes me chuckle. “We’re not done, baby. I’ll remove the straps and clean us up so we can snuggle in the hot tub.
My cock pops free from his mouth. “Snuggle?” he asks.
“Yeah. If you want to.” I can finally stand and look down into his face but he won’t release my fingers.
He sighs and it’s adorable and sounds contented. “Yes please.”
Ten minutes later, I’ve carried him out there—which apparently he loves because it’s never happened to him before—and he’s sitting on my lap, his head against my chest and with him holding my arms around him.
I’ve kept conversation to a minimum and I’m content to sit there enjoying this, nuzzling the top of his head.
After fifteen minutes in the hot tub, he takes a deep breath, holds it, and slowly lets it out. “Wow,” he says.
I kiss the top of his head. “Good wow?”
“Fuck yeah, good wow. Best wow. Amazing wow.” He tips his head back to stare into my eyes. “Can we do that again wow?”
I study him, his expression, can still feel our energy swirling around him and me both. “Not tonight.”
He smiles. “Is it after midnight?”
I laugh. “Not sure. Maybe.”
“Then do you mean not until after this sunrise and the following sunset, or do you mean over the next day and a half?”
I can’t help it—I laugh. I don’t know if I’ve laughed this much in a while. “You need a few hours of recovery time, and we both need sleep before we do that again. This is tonight—next sunset is tomorrow night. How’s that?”
He smiles. “You aren’t annoyed at my pedantic nature?”
“Not in the least.”
A natural silence settles between us as we stare into each other’s eyes. Several minutes pass before he speaks again, sounding quiet, tentative.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Can I keep living here even after initiation, or do I have to move?”
Part of me wants to say yeah, you can, you can move into my bedroom right now, but that will definitely lead me into temptation too great to resist.
I slant my lips over his and gently kiss him. “You can live here as long as you want.” It’s a safe answer—and a chickenshit one—but I can’t make him a promise I don’t know if I can keep. For all I know, Jax may ship him out tomorrow to another pack.
That would break my heart but I’m a big boy and a lot older than Mal and I can deal with it.
What I can’t deal with is getting his hopes up just to smash them because of circumstances beyond our control.
And as much as I’d hate to say goodbye to Mal, leaving the Ocala Pack is not an option for me.
This is my home, my livelihood, my family.
I will not give all that up for a pup—no matter how attracted I am to him—that I’ve only known a few days.
His gaze drops to my chest, where his fingers play with the hair across my pecs, drawing little swirls and whorls. “I don’t want to do anything to mess this up,” he finally admits. “Working here, living here, or…this, with you.” His gaze cuts up to mine. “Does that make sense?”
“I promise you, as long as you don’t lie to me, we can work through nearly anything. I’m a patient man.” I cup the side of his head, draw him snugly against my chest again, and settle deeper into the water so we can stare out at the stars visible in the dark sky beyond where the overhang ends.
Part of me wishes I had a stronger spiritual nature so I could wish upon them for Mal to remain in my life forever.
“I’m scared,” he whispers. “I finally feel safe for the first time in my life. With you. And I don’t want to lose this. Any of it.”
Something inside my soul lurches, hard, in a good way.
I want to promise to take care of him.
I want to swear to make every worry disappear.
I want to eliminate every threat to him and never let him feel a single second of fear ever again.
But I can’t.
Even if things were settled and he was definitely staying, I can’t be sure he won’t feel a mate bond with someone else during his initiation, and then I’m left with a broken heart.
I press my face against the top of his head and breathe in.
What I finally say is, “I don’t want to lose this either.”