Chapter 54 Todd
Chapter Fifty-Four
Todd
Well THAT happened
Well, that happened.
I’m not normally one to disobey my pack Alpha, but the peace filling me now that Mal is in my arms and we’ve crossed that barrier is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.
I nuzzle the top of his head, savoring his scent. There’s no place I want to be other than right here, holding him.
Again, this isn’t anything I’ve ever felt before. It makes everything else I’ve experienced in the past feel like old, blurry, sepia-toned photos compared to vibrantly colored HD TV.
In my life I’ve had a lot of sex—a lot of sex—and a lot of fun doing it.
But nothing ever nurtured my soul the way I now feel with Mal.
If this isn’t a mate bond we have, and I lose him to someone else…
I don’t want to contemplate that.
I won’t contemplate that.
He rolls to face me, skin-to-skin, and stares up into my face. “You won’t lose me,” he quietly says.
I smile and trace the line of his jaw with my thumb. “Guess I think loud too, huh?”
“Yeah, you do.” He feels perfect snuggled there. “I need to grab a shower and another shirt before I head to the barn.”
I snort. “I didn’t do a very good job if you can still walk, baby.”
“Sleeping with the boss means I’m damned sure not going to slack off and have the other guys hating on me because they think I’m getting special privileges.
” He grabs my chin and makes me meet his gaze.
“Look, I’m not a mooch. I meant it when I said I want to earn my keep, and since we did this, I suspect I need to at least prove to the others I’m not simply expecting to be taken care of. ”
I nuzzle his nose. “What if I want to make you a kept man?”
“Uh, that’s a fuck no, sorry.”
The vehemence of his answer surprises me. “Why?”
Shadows haunt his gaze. “My father used money as a weapon. I could’ve had anything I wanted, and all I had to do was turn myself inside out being exactly what he wanted.
But what I wanted to be was happy. No matter what I did, it never would have been enough.
For starters, because I’m an omega, and secondly, because I’m gay.
I never gave a shit about my family’s money or status.
And I’ve learned over the past few years that money and status cannot make you happy.
It makes life easier in some ways, sure, but if a person is miserable inside, money won’t make them not be miserable.
There aren’t enough things or money in the world to shove into an empty void in someone’s soul to make them complete. ”
“I can’t argue with your logic. But until all this stuff is settled, I mean it that you have to stay here and not leave the property.”
“I told you that’s fine. But don’t ask me not to work. I’ll go stir-crazy if I sit around all day, and stir-crazy Mal isn’t fun to be around.” He sits up, yawning, then bounces a little. “I don’t think we broke your bed.”
“This time,” I snark, sitting up to kiss him again. All I want to do is keep him in bed today and make love to him, but I promised to help get the rec center ready, and I have things I need to do around here, too.
Not to mention, I have to talk to Jax.
He grins and, before I can get a hand on him, he bounces out of bed and starts gathering his clothes. “I’ll go take my shower over at my apartment.”
“Why? I want to shower with you.”
His grin widens. “No, you want to pin me against the wall and fuck me in the shower.”
“Dammit.” That’s exactly what I want to do—he really can hear my thoughts.
He laughs and blows me a kiss as he backs toward the bedroom door. “I’ll head down to the barn and help the guys. I feel guilty I’m not down there already.” Before he leaves, he pauses, his smile faltering. “Maybe we shouldn’t say anything to them about us yet.”
I sigh as I nod. “I need to talk to Jax first.”
Mal takes a step toward me. “Will we be in trouble with him for this?”
“I have a feeling whatever it is, I can handle it,” I assure him. Then I shoo him away. “Go on before I grab you and bend you over this bed and put a third load in there.”
His laughter follows him down the hall, and I hear when he lets himself out the back door.
Then I look down at myself—we were both covered with our combined mess and, yes, the sheets are a disaster.
I climb out of bed and yank all the covers off and wad them up, dropping them in a pile by the bedroom door. I’ll put them in the washer on my way out the door.
Then I head to the bathroom and in the shower I stand under water as hot as I can stand it, because everything was drying into a sticky, crusty mess, and while I want to smell like Mal, I don’t think it’d be a good idea showing up at the rec center smelling like this.
And I still need to go by Jax and Shawn’s house and shower there. Again.
I rest my forehead against the tile and close my eyes. If it wasn’t for the massive shit-show hanging over our heads with the refugees, I know I would feel…
Happy.
Contented.
Contented for the first time in my life, despite everything—and everyone—I’ve done and achieved. I’ve never felt truly content until now. And I didn’t even realize it until Mal blew into my life and then…
Yeah.
This has to be a mate bond. Right?
I grab the bar of soap and start scrubbing, from my hair all the way down to the soles of my feet.
If the point of me taking a shower is to avoid smelling like Mal in public, then the last thing I need is to plant my freshly fucked and jizzed body behind the wheel of my truck, which Jax and Shawn paid to have detailed so it doesn’t smell like Mal.
That’d be like advertising it all over the place if the wrong person scented him on me.
I take ten minutes to scrub and scour, washing myself several times, including using two other kinds of body wash in addition to the bar soap, before I finally step out and grab a clean towel to dry off.
Then I need clean work clothes, because Mal’s scent will be all over the ones I had on.
Goddammit.
All I want to do is sit there and bury my face in the dirty sheets.
Forcing myself to move, I get dressed and then realize I should leave the sheets until later. It’ll just put Mal’s scent all over me again, and I really do need to get moving. I should have already been at the rec center.
But first…
I grab my phone from the nightstand, take a deep breath, and pull up Jax’s contact on my phone.
I am not looking forward to making this phone call.
At all.
And I have a feeling Jax won’t like it very much, either.