Chapter 15 Brooks
Brooks
I stare at the text I just got from Zach and wonder what the hell he’s thinking.
Zach: Can you please talk to her? She won’t listen to me.
Me: You think she’ll listen to me?
Zach: Yes! She told me before that she likes you. You’re my best chance.
Me: I can’t make any promises
Zach: I know. I’ll take anything at this point
I sigh and slide my phone back into my jeans pocket.
As a father, of course, I want to help my son.
I’ll always do whatever I can to make him happy.
But I think Aspen deserves better than what he has given her.
I can’t plead his case and promise that he won’t make the same mistake twice when I don’t know for sure if that’s true.
If he truly cared about her like he claims, he wouldn’t have strayed in the first place.
But how do I tell him that without pushing him even further away from me?
I walk toward the front desk, where I can hear Aspen talking to one of our guests.
She’s got a big smile on her face as she hands them a map and points in the direction of the cabins.
The family has two small kids, so she makes sure to tell them about the water slides by the pool and the ice cream shop down on Main Street. They thank her and head off.
“Hey.” I make myself known once the family is gone.
She turns to smile at me. “Hey, didn’t see you there.”
“Just got here. How’s your day?”
“It’s good. We’ve had a lot of check-ins today. It’s gonna be a busy weekend.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” Weekends are usually pretty busy for us. A ranch is the perfect weekend getaway for most families.
“What are you up to?” she asks, leaning back against the desk.
“Not much. Just wanted to ask if you had any plans tonight.”
“Not unless you consider eating mac and cheese and binge-watching reality TV shows plans. Why? Do you need me to do something?”
“No. Wanted to see if you’d be up for a trail ride tonight.”
Her face lights up. “I’d love that.”
“Cool. Meet me at the stables at six. I’ll have the horses saddled up.”
“Yes, sir.”
I turn to leave, but then remember something. “And Aspen?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t forget your boots.” It’s always good to wear boots when you’re riding, but more importantly, she looks damn good in them.
“Got it!”
Aspen arrives at the stables right on time, which doesn’t surprise me one bit.
She’s never once been late to work. Everything Harper or I have asked her to do, she’s done quickly.
She’s organized and on top of her work. I can only assume that that kind of dedication and work ethic crosses over into her personal life as well.
“Hey, you ready?” I ask her once she’s close enough. She’s changed out of her work clothes and into some tight jeans and a black tank top, which are accompanied by the boots.
“Ready!”
I hand her the reins for Sparkles and watch her mount. She looks like she’s been riding for years with how comfortable she looks in the saddle.
“Gettin’ good at that,” I say as I mount my own horse.
“Beck has been a great teacher.”
“Good. I knew he’d help ya out. Alright, let’s go.”
She follows me out of the stable, and I slow down a bit so we can ride side by side.
A slight breeze catches us, and I hear Aspen take a deep inhale.
“It’s so nice out here. Makes me wonder why I spent so many years surrounded by buildings and cars and people who don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves. ”
I laugh. “Yeah, this place will do that to you.”
“Did you ever think about leaving?” she asks.
That’s an easy one to answer. “Nah. This place is my home. Couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Even if the guest ranch failed and we never made another dollar, I don’t think I could leave.”
“I’m jealous. It must be nice feeling so tied to one place.” There’s a twinge of sadness in her voice. I hate that she grew up without a strong family presence. I don’t know what I would’ve done without my parents when I was a teenager.
“I’m sure you’ll feel tied down somewhere one day,” I offer the only encouragement I can, even while secretly hoping she starts to feel tied down to Blue Haven. I’m not really sure why, but I feel like she belongs here.
“Yeah…”
The lull in conversation gives me a chance to bring up the one topic I really wish I could avoid. “So… are you ok after everything with Zach yesterday?”
“Yeah. Thank you for stepping in. I’m sorry that this is coming between you and Zach.”
I huff a laugh. If anything, I’ve talked to him more since their breakup than I have since he moved back. “We were already broken, Aspen. I’m not sure anything can save us at this point.”
“Why are you guys broken?” she asks carefully as if she’s worried I’ll get angry. “Zach wouldn’t ever really talk about it.”
“It’s kind of a complicated answer. I mean, I’m sure I wasn’t the best father, but I did the best that I could.
Zach and I were basically growing up together.
It was hard on all of us. But I think a lot of it stems from his mother.
She wanted to get married and have the perfect family life, and I didn’t want that with her.
She got mad when I ended things, and she’s held a grudge ever since.
I’m lucky she even let me see Zach when he was younger.
I think she only agreed to it so she could get the child support.
I just couldn’t give her what she wanted. Not at eighteen years old. She still thinks I chose the ranch over her. And hell, maybe I did. But I still stand by my decision. I wouldn’t have been a good husband for her.”
“Well, I think it’s admirable that you recognized that at such a young age. She’s the immature one for still holding on to a grudge after twenty years.”
“Yeah, well…”
“I couldn’t tell Zach this, but I never got good vibes from her. Honestly, I’m surprised you were ever with her. You two are so… different.”
“We’re in a small town. There’s not a whole lot of options, honestly. Back then, she was willing to let me, well, you know. No teenage boy can turn that down.”
She tilts her head back as she laughs. Her curls fall down her back, and the setting sun makes her skin look like it’s glowing. I can’t help but admire her beauty even when I know I should look away.
An overwhelming sense of guilt washes over me. I should not be looking at her like that. She’s practically the same age as my son and completely off limits.
“Right. That makes sense,” she says, turning to smile at me. “Do you think you’ll ever have any more kids?”
“Wow, you’re asking the tough questions tonight.” I’m not even sure how the conversation turned to me so quickly. I guess we’re done discussing Zach.
“Sorry if that’s too personal. You don’t have to answer. I’m just being nosey.”
“It’s alright. Harper’s the only one who grills me like this, so I guess I wasn’t expecting it, is all. But yeah, I’d love to have another kid. Maybe two. But only if I find the right person. I’m not making the same mistake again.”
We ride a little more until we come to an overlook where we can see the sun on the horizon.
I come up here a lot when I want to think or be alone.
It’s so peaceful. Sunrise and sunset are my favorite times of the day.
Watching those happen really grounds me and helps me to remember what’s important.
Aspen climbs off Sparkles and ties the reins to a nearby tree.
I do the same and join her in front of the horses.
She sits on the ground and stares out at the mountains in the distance.
I plop down next to her, leaving a little bit of space between us.
The last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable.
We sit there in silence, watching the sun slowly go down behind the mountains. I can tell she’s enjoying this place just as much as I do.
“Thank you for bringing me out here, Brooks.”
“Anytime, darlin’.”
She drops her head on my shoulder, and for a moment, I’m not sure what to do.
But then I realize she probably just needs someone to comfort her and I just happen to be here.
She’s gone through a lot over the last few months and has had no one.
She must feel so alone. So in an effort to show her that she is welcome here, I slide my arm around her waist. She scoots closer and settles into me even more.
I try my absolute best to not read too much into this.
This is just me comforting a friend. That’s all.
If someone were to walk up on us right now, this would not look good. But I know it doesn’t mean anything for Aspen. It doesn’t mean anything to me either. Although I can’t help but realize how much I enjoy her company. Whenever we’ve spent any time together, it’s always easy between us.
But that’s not what this is.
No. It can’t be. Even if it does feel nice to have her this close to me. Even if I wish I could hold her and tell her everything is going to be ok.
Eventually, she straightens, and I reluctantly let my hand drop.
“We should probably head back,” I tell her.
She nods. “Yeah.”
But neither one of us moves. We sit there looking at each other as if we’re in some sort of bubble. My eyes fall to her lips just as she parts them. Do I want to kiss her? My son’s ex-girlfriend?
Dammit, I think I do. What is wrong with me?
I blink and pull myself out of the trance her lips put me under. I quickly stand and extend a hand to help her up. She takes it and stands up, not taking her eyes off me the entire time. It’s unnerving, and I wonder if she feels what I was feeling, but I’m not brave enough to ask.
I untie my horse while Aspen does the same, and we get started back on the trail.
Her voice breaks the silence. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
Oh no. I brace myself for whatever she’s about to say. “Sure.”
“Does riding horses ever get easier on your butt?”
A laugh explodes out of me.
“Don’t laugh! My butt has been so sore after every ride.”
“Sorry, you’re right. I shouldn’t laugh. Yeah, it gets easier. It helps if you take a warm bath or give it a little massage. You’ll get used to it once you start doin’ it more.”
“Ok, good to know.”
We make it back to the stables. Since Beck is gone for the day, Aspen helps me get the horses back in their stalls, and then I drive us back to our cabins.
“Thanks for the ride,” she says once I park in front of my house. “Both of them.”
“No problem.”
She starts heading toward her cabin. “I guess I’m gonna go massage my butt. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I’m pretty proud of myself for being able to hold in the urge to offer my services with her butt massage. Instead of making a fool out of myself, I nod and give her a small wave while I wait to make sure she gets inside her cabin.
Once I’m inside my own house, I let my guilt consume me. My son asked me to talk to Aspen on his behalf, and instead, I’ve done nothing but form a crush on her. Maybe I am a shitty father. Maybe he’s right to keep his distance from me. Maybe I am the problem.