Chapter 26 Aspen
Aspen
I’m off work today and spending my morning eating pancakes with Jazz at the diner in town.
I don’t typically venture out for breakfast other than the pastries at the coffee shop, but she insisted that I have to try these pancakes.
As it turns out, they are pretty good, and they have every flavor of syrup you could ever want.
“So, are we gonna meet up at the fair tonight?” Jazz asks through a mouthful of fluffy pancakes. She went with blueberry syrup on hers.
“Yeah, for sure. I’m meeting Dawson, too, though. Is that ok?”
“Hell yeah. The more the merrier. Owen might make an appearance as well.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Wow… a public outing together? Must be getting serious.”
“Shut up. You know I don’t do serious. But he has tonight off and mentioned that he wanted to go to the fair. I just casually suggested we could meet up. Friends and all that..”
“Yeah… right.” I smirk at her, and she rolls her eyes.
I’ve been told that the fair is a pretty big deal around here. It’s one county over but not a long drive. There are rides, games, concerts, and food. I’m pretty excited about it. It sounds like it’ll be fun.
“You think Daddy Brooks will be there?” She wriggles her eyebrows at me, and my eyes go wide.
I lean forward. “Keep your voice down.” She just laughs. “And I don’t know. He hasn’t mentioned anything to me about it.”
He’s been dropping off my dinners and leaving quickly lately, so we haven’t spent much one-on-one time together. It feels like he’s trying to avoid spending time alone with me. It sucks, but it’s probably for the best.
“Well, if you need to sneak off with him, just let me know, and I’ll keep Dawson busy.”
I wish. “Yeah, not gonna happen.”
She laughs, and we continue our breakfast as she tells me what they usually have at the fair. Halfway through her story about the fun house where she got caught making out with a boy in one year, her body goes rigid.
“Ok, don’t look now, but be cool,” she says in a low voice.
“What?” I start to turn around, but she stops me.
“No. No. Don’t look. It’s Zach. Maybe he won’t see you.”
I groan and slump my shoulders a little bit. It feels like forever since I’ve seen him. Not since I yelled at him in front of Brooks’s house. No flower deliveries. No texts or calls. No random pop-ins to my work. It’s been nice. I’m not angry at him anymore. I just feel… nothing toward him.
Probably because my attention is focused elsewhere.
At least if Zach does see me now, it’s because I just happened to be here. Not because he’s seeking me out.
“Who’s he with?” I whisper.
“His mom,” she says. “They’re headed in this direction. He’s probably gonna notice you.”
“Great,” I murmur.
I focus on the last few bites of my pancakes, hoping that he walks right past our table. Unfortunately, I’m not that lucky.
“Aspen? Hey!”
I look up from my plate and try to act totally surprised to see him there. “Oh, hey Zach. Hi, Lacey. Good to see you two.”
His mom looks at me and glares as she says, “Hello.”
“You two having breakfast?” Zach asks the obvious.
“Yep.”
“Are you going to the fair tonight?”
“We are,” Jazz answers for me.
“Cool. Maybe I’ll see you there then?”
“Yeah, maybe,” I answer noncommittally.
He looks at me for a minute as if he’s hoping for me to say something else, but I stay quiet.
“Ok, well, enjoy your breakfast. See you later.”
I nod. “Bye.”
He walks off to find a table with his mom.
“Ok, that wasn’t too bad,” Jazz says.
“Yeah, but now I’ve got to be worried about seeing him later,” I groan.
“We won’t give him a chance to ruin our night. Don’t worry, girl.”
I laugh, and we finish before quickly exiting the diner.
The fair is like nothing I’ve ever seen before.
It’s basically a small theme park. There are flashing lights everywhere, and we’re hit with the scent of sugar and fried food as soon as we walk through the gates.
I can hear country music coming from the speakers next to the stage, but I can’t remember who they said was performing tonight.
Dawson grabs my hand, and we start through the place. It’s crowded, and several times we have to push our way through groups of people. He buys us fried Oreos and a funnel cake after we eat a corndog and freshly squeezed lemonade.
“You ready to ride some rides?” Dawson asks once we’ve finished the funnel cake.
I grimace. “We probably should’ve ridden rides before we ate all that food.”
Dawson laughs. “Don’t worry. We’ll start off slow. Let’s do bumper cars!”
Ok, we must have different definitions of slow.
I follow him to the bumper cars, which ends up being really fun.
Then we meet up with Jazz and Owen and start riding some of the other rides.
I’m very dizzy and a touch nauseous by the time we finish our third ride.
I step out of the attraction exit, looking for a bench to sit down on, when I walk directly into someone.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” I say as strong hands grab my arms to steady me.
I look up into very familiar eyes.
“Brooks,” I whisper. It seems I can’t get away from him even if I’m actively trying.
“You alright?”
“Yeah, just lost my footing there,” I say. He slowly lowers his hands as Dawson walks up beside me.
“Hey, Mr. Calloway. How’re you?”
“Doing good, kid. You?”
“Good. Just out here getting Aspen all dizzy, I guess,” he says with a laugh.
Harper is with Brooks. I hadn’t noticed her standing there at first because I was so focused on him, but my attention is diverted when Jazz starts asking them to go on the big coaster.
Now, when she says big, it’s not that big. But it’s big enough that it has me questioning the safety of it as part of a traveling fair.
Harper immediately agrees to a ride, so Jazz pulls her along with us.
“Guys, I am not riding that,” I tell them, needing a break to settle my stomach. “I’ll wait for you at the exit.”
“Are you sure?” Dawson asks. “I can hold your hand.”
I know he’s trying to be cute and flirty, but holding his hand would not save me in the slightest if something malfunctioned. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’m feeling dizzy after that last one, so it’s probably best if I chill for a minute.”
“I’ll stay with her,” Brooks offers. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t run off.”
Dawson smiles, probably thinking he’s leaving me with a trusted adult. How on Earth would he know that he’s leaving me alone with the one man I can’t stop thinking about? The one man who is the entire reason why I haven’t taken my relationship with Dawson any further.
Jazz shoots me a knowing look, but thankfully doesn’t make any of the comments I know she’s dying to get out.
“You don’t wanna ride?” Dawson asks Brooks.
“Brooks hates these things,” Harper interjects. “I can never get him to ride with me.”
“Well, you can ride with me then, Harper,” Dawson offers, and Brooks and I watch as the four of them go stand in line for the ride.
Brooks and I find an open bench near the exit to sit on and wait. Unfortunately, he keeps an appropriate distance between us on the bench.
“Having a good date?” he asks after a few uncomfortable moments of silence.
“Yeah, it’s pretty good. I didn’t realize you were going to be here tonight.”
“I try to avoid these things if I can, but Harper convinced me to come.”
I know that Brooks and Harper are close, and I know he’s told me that they’re only friends and nothing more, but the thought of them together is always at the back of my mind.
She knows him better than anyone, and deep down, I think I’m jealous because I want to be that person.
I want to be the one to convince Brooks to go out.
I want to know what Brooks likes at each restaurant in town.
I want to know all of his embarrassing stories. I want to know everything about him.
That jealousy bubbles up inside me until I find myself asking, “Would you have come tonight if I had asked you?”
Brooks turns his head to meet my eyes. “I think we’ve established that I can’t say no to you.”
“You’ve said no about one thing,” I remind him. Us. Taking this further. Being together. The biggest thing of all that he’s said no to.
“Yeah, and it’s killing me every single day.”
His admission sends a chill down my spine, which doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Are you cold? Here. Take my jacket.” Brooks slides out of his jacket and hands it to me.
I’m not cold, but I’m also not going to turn down a chance to be wrapped in his warmth. Even if it’s just a piece of clothing.
“Thanks.” I wrap the jacket around me. “So you don’t like riding the rides?”
“No. It’s not for me. If I’m riding anything, it’s gonna be a horse.”
I laugh. “Well, you are good at that.”
“So are you. We haven’t been out in awhile.”
“I didn’t think you wanted to be alone with me,” I admit sheepishly.
“All I want is to be alone with you, darlin’, but what I want isn’t what’s best for either of us. At least if we’re out on the trail, I know I won’t try anything.”
I smirk. “Never had outdoor sex, Brooks? You’re missing out.”
He chokes out a laugh, and I swear a slight blush appears on his cheeks. “I try to be a gentleman. That typically doesn’t include sleeping with women on riding trails.”
“Hm. That’s a shame.”
“Aspen…” he warns.
I shrug. “What? I’m just saying you might need to live a little.”
“I live plenty, thank you very much.”
That sentence shuts me right up. I haven’t seen Brooks with any other women since I’ve worked on the ranch, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been with any.
The thought of him with someone else makes me want to throw up.
I wonder if this is how he feels every time he sees me with Dawson.
If it is, it makes my heart hurt for him.
“I’m sure you do,” I say quietly before I return my focus to our little group making their way through the line.
Dawson spots me and gives a little wave.
I smile and wave back, but really, I’m contemplating whether I should get up and run.
Get out of this town as fast as I can. It feels like everywhere I turn, my heart is breaking or I’m making the wrong decision.
“You ok?” Brooks asks, noticing the change in my demeanor.
“Yep. All good.”
I don’t think he believes me, but he doesn’t press me.
After our friends all ride the coaster, we meet them at the exit.
“How was it?” I ask Dawson.
“Just as good as last year,” he says with a laugh. He notices my jacket. “Did you get cold? I’m sorry, I should’ve left you my jacket.”
“Brooks is always there to save the day,” Jazz says. I immediately glare at her and feel Brooks’s eyes on me. Shit. I shouldn’t have told her everything that happened, but I had to talk to someone.
“So, where to next?” I ask, trying to move past this awkward moment.
“Wanna do the Ferris wheel?” Dawson asks me.
No. “Sure.”
“We’re gonna go get some food,” Harper announces, taking Brooks along with her. He doesn’t say anything as they leave us, but I wish he would stay. I wish he were the one taking me on the Ferris wheel.
I link my arm with Dawson’s as we head toward the Ferris wheel. I really hate these things. Who wants to be stuck in a swinging bucket that high up off the ground? Not me. But I do it anyway because I know it will make Dawson happy, and unfortunately for me, I’m a people pleaser.
When we get to the top, Dawson leans in to kiss me. It’s not the first time we’ve kissed. I was hoping it would get better with time, but I still feel absolutely nothing when his lips touch mine.
And I know it’s because I’m kissing the wrong man.