Chapter Fourteen
Calli
I’ve never seen someone’s face shutter so completely and so quickly. My defensiveness took over. Telling him about my drawings means telling him about the shit show in San Antonio.
It would be a lie to say I’m not curious. How can I be so hypocritical?
Garrett has made it clear his sketch book is private. More than made it clear. Telling me who she is may be painful. It has to be that. My mind is running rampant. It’s not my place to ask.
“Have a good night.”
What? That’s it? He’s walking away? A moment of madness takes over and I grab his wrist, halting him in his tracks.
Garrett stares at my fingers. His skin is hot, and the fine hair tickles my fingers, but I don’t let go. The dark, intricate designs of his ink work keep me from looking up. He clenches his fist, and the tendons work under his skin, beneath my fingers.
When I raise my eyes, his are practically boring into me. I don’t know what it is about this man. He’s been awful to me. He’s said things in front of people that embarrassed me. Knocked me off my bike, treated me like crap when I helped him.
And worst of all, saw me touching myself. And knows it was over him.
How did I ever let this man touch me?
All of it fades into one solid truth. I want to know about him. It could be because he’s the first man I’ve been with since my husband. The first man since my life blew up. Maybe it’s this base, animal attraction and I want to fuck him again. Letting him walk away now takes away any chance of that.
This isn’t me. I don’t use sex as a weapon, or a way to control someone. If he isn’t willing to talk to me, that tells me exactly where he stands.
Suddenly he takes a step closer, putting himself right in my space. He lifts his arm, with my hand still clamped around his wrist and holds them between us. The back of his forearm grazes over my nipple and I hiss at the contact with the piercing.
Arousal shoots through me. My breath hitches, making my chest rise and graze his arm again.
Holy shit.
The look on his face tells me he knows exactly what he is doing. Our friends are all here, but I dare not look away. I have no clue what he is going to say but I open my mouth and blurt out my truth before he can.
“I was an architect.”
The slightest dip of his brows is the only reaction. Our arms are still pressed between our bodies. Relaxing my grip on his wrist it takes him a moment to realize he’s free to pull away. When he does, it leaves me cold.
If he walks away after I told him that, I can’t face him again. How can something so simple as telling him about my profession cause such a visceral reaction? Why do I let it? I’m proud of what I’ve achieved. Then it was all ripped away. Oh yeah, that’s why it hurts.
Garrett is watching me with those dark eyes of his. My heart stutters for a moment. There is empathy there. Not a word I would ever use to describe him. It’s almost as if he’s seeing inside me, right into my brain.
The fact he hasn’t left means something. Do I want to tell him? Not all of it. I can’t, it’s too awful and embarrassing.
“I’m not anymore.”
“Why?”
Such a simple word. Yet there is so much behind it.
“I owned my own company. It was very successful.”
As I talk, he steps away going back to the rail separating the promenade from the river below. Leaning one elbow against it, he never takes his eyes off me. I twist my fingers in the fabric of my skirt.
The silent question is written all over his face. What happened? Why are you here, working as a barista?
“My business… partner was stealing money. He…” I swallow hard and look out across the water.
Everyone in San Antonio knows of my downfall. It was plastered all over the news. The entire architectural industry knows. My reputation and company were destroyed. Why is it so hard to tell the truth to this man? Because I’m a fucking failure. No matter that it wasn’t my fault.
“He what?” Garrett prompts.
I almost forgot where I was, lost in the rising emotions.
“He was embezzling money from the company. For a long time. Not a lot at first, he covered his tracks. Then it got worse. He started to steal money from clients, big clients. He was creating false invoices, overcharging them.
“It’s complicated and messy. I didn’t know. Until an accusation was made and we were federally audited. Then a criminal case started,” I add quietly.
And that is the part that stings the most. I trusted Jared. There is no need to say anything about the rest of it, about the other things I learned about my husband.
“What happened to him?”
“He was arrested. We… Both were.”
Garrett straightens up, the anger clear in his expression.
“I was cleared,” I rush on.
Not before my name was dragged through the mud as being a part of the fraud. Not before my whole life was scrutinized and people I’d known and worked with for years stopped talking to me.
And the other thing. The one I refuse to think about, let alone tell Garrett.
“The damage was done. My name was blacklisted, and no one wanted to work with me. I owed money we didn’t have and had to declare bankruptcy. Then I came here.”
The last part rushed out, my voice high pitched. It’s a struggle not to let my emotions take over as I remember every horrible moment of finding out what he did. Being arrested, being vilified. Having to go through the ordeal of court, endless questions and smears.
“Hey,” Garrett steps closer, one hand going to my shoulder. “Breathe.”
My lips clamp tight together as I struggle to bring myself back from the verge of a panic attack. This is why I don’t talk about it with anyone other than Sin. Even with her it’s not a topic we raise.
Fuck, I need to get away from him. Why did I think I could tell him this? All because I want to know who the woman in his sketch book is.
Fucking idiot. This conversation is over. It’s more than I can handle right now. With him.
His palm is still cupping my bare shoulder. I’m drawn in by the scent of him. One I’ve dreamed about night after night as I relived the afternoon in my apartment. I don’t want his sympathy or pity. If I look at his face and see that right now, it will break me.
The only way I can prevent it springs to my mind. It’s time for him to tell me his truth.
His eyes are harder than I expect when I do face him. Why? What is he thinking? Probably that I’m an idiot, like everyone else in my life. The only person who has supported me is my best friend.
“Did you love her?” I blurt out.
A long moment of silence passes. I shouldn’t have asked that. I have no right. I don’t even want to know the answer.
“I did,” he says, letting his hand drop. “Very much.”
Did…
“Calli!”
We both look up the slope at the sound of my name being called. It’s Ruby, hugging Lucky to her side, they’re both laughing and Ruby trips, almost taking Lucky down. They’ve had too much to drink.
“Come on! We’re going to the club!” Ruby yells again.
“Yeah, come on!” Lucky holds up a hand with a bottle in it and whoops.
Behind them, the rest of the group are laughing and chatting, some of them are gathering up their things. Sin is off to the side pulling her hair up into a ponytail as she watches me. Well, now everyone knows I’ve been down here talking to Garrett. God knows what kind of questions I’m going to be asked when I get back up there.
There is no point in asking if he is going to come along. He won’t. There are things I need to work through after this conversation. He meant it when he said he loved the woman in his sketch pad. I’m not sure how to feel about that.
A buzzing sound distracts Garrett. He takes his phone from the back pocket of his jeans and glances at the screen. He frowns but answers. “Give me a sec,” he says into the phone. “You should go,” he says to me.
Before I make any kind of move, he puts the phone back against his ear and walks away from me. I hear the deep timber of his voice but not what he is saying as he slips further away.
By the time I reach the girls, I’ve brushed off the hurt and confusion over my conversation with Garrett. Lucky briefly looks down to where her boss is now leaning over the rail with the phone still pressed to his ear. She grabs my hand and pulls me along with her.
It’s stupid to ask, but I do it anyway.
“Lucky, can I ask you a question?”
“Why is he the way he is?”
“Yeah,” I’m slightly taken aback but at the same time, not all that surprised. Garrett is hot, he’s got that whole stay the hell away from me, sexy vibe going on. The kind women should run from but can’t help being drawn to.
“You’re not the first person to ask.”
“Oh.” The grass beneath my feet just became interesting.
Lucky grabs my hand, making me tilt my head back up. Ruby carries on walking back to the others. Her date greets her with a big smile, and she throws her arms around his neck. They’re cute together. It makes me think about how Garrett is the complete opposite.
“But I can tell you something I haven’t seen happen before,” Lucky says, drawing my attention.
“What?”
“Garrett taking an interest back.”
“What do you mean?”
“Garrett doesn’t have long, intimate conversations with women.”
“That was… Nothing.”
“Calli,” she nudges me with her hip. Surprisingly hard for someone of her size. She’s grinning as she hurries ahead and turns around, walking backward. “That, was everything .”
There is no chance to ask what she means because Phoenix walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, lifting her up. Lucky shrieks in surprise then giggles as he whispers something into her ear.
Before they turn away, Phoenix looks over at me. He isn’t smiling anymore. I can’t help but think he is trying to figure me out. Nor do I miss the concern on his face as he looks from me to where Garrett is standing, then back again.
I resist the urge to turn away from him as he holds on tight to the fidgeting, giggling woman in his arms. When Lucky yells for him to take her to the club, he grins at her and obliges. Leaving me to trudge after them, trying to work out what it all means.
Garrett didn’t say a single word about what I told him.
Am I disappointed in that, or relieved?
“Crap,” I mutter as I drop my satchel on the floor outside my apartment door.
Trying to juggle my bike, helmet and bag all at once was not the best idea.
“Here, let me help you.”
The voice scares the shit out of me. The bike pedal turns and cracks me right in the shin. Damn it. That is going to leave a mark. I’ve had more bike related injuries in the last month than I’ve had… ever.
Caleb approaches me. I haven’t seen him since Garrett was here. And I haven’t forgotten how Garrett reacted to him.
“I’m okay. Thanks though,” I tell him, resisting the urge to bend over and rub my leg.
Instead of trying to grab the satchel, I move the bike out into the hall and set it against the wall. Caleb is on the other side of me and leans down to grab the bag, even after me telling him I’m good. Hooking the helmet over the bars, I reach over to take the satchel.
For a moment, he hesitates. Then gives me a smile and passes it to me. What was that? Did he want to carry it for me? That’s weird. Or maybe I’m reading too much into it.
“Are you going out for a ride?”
“Yes,” I plaster on a smile.
“God, that was a stupid question. Of course you are,” he shakes his head at himself. “Here, let me,” he hurries ahead and calls the elevator. “I’m going to work, which sucks.”
“We all have to do it,” I smile, not sure what else to say that won’t encourage more questions.
“I have classes all day, a really hectic schedule.”
“At least your day should go quickly.”
“There is that. Nothing worse than being bored or twiddling your thumbs.”
“Exactly.”
For the first time, I wish I had stored my bike downstairs. I’m not sure what it is about Caleb that is making me uneasy. We’re making small talk, but I’ve never felt like this around him before.
He waits as I wheel the bike toward the elevator. He is watching me, not staring in a creepy way, but he hasn’t averted his eyes once.
Making a snap decision about someone isn’t how I usually work. At the same time, following my gut is something I’m becoming more attuned to. Caleb unsettles me. Using the bike as a barrier between us, I hit the ground floor button.
He doesn’t actually need to use the elevator, and it is a tight fit. Not that I thought that when Garrett was with me. And he is a lot bigger than Caleb. Luckily, we’re only on the second floor so the ride is over quickly.
Caleb offers for me to get out first, so I hurry ahead. “Here I can get the door.”
“Oh, that’s okay, I need to pick up my mail and make a quick call first.”
Caleb reminds me of Jared, with his blondish hair and clean-cut look. He’s not wearing a suit, which Jared did most days, but he is wearing chinos and a smart shirt. Everything about him screams preppy. These days, this look does nothing for me. Nope, my type apparently is tattooed, grumps who fuck like it’s their mission in life, and ask probing questions.
“Well, it was nice to see you. Maybe we could catch up sometime.”
“Sure, when we run into each in the hall.”
Was that diplomatic, or too much of a brush off? One thing is for sure, I do not want to go out with this guy. Not because of Garrett, who there is nothing going on with. Besides sexual attraction and, well, the sex.
“Yeah, of course. Well, have a good day.”
Great, now I feel like shit for telling him in not so many words I don’t want to go out with him. Watching after him, I force myself not to feel bad. I’m done doing things for other people. I’m a new me now and I refuse to feel guilty about not wanting to go out with a guy I have no interest in.
Just for the hell of it, I check the mailbox. There is a notice from the building manager that must have gone into everyone’s box, saying there is some maintenance work being done. A couple of flyers for local businesses.
And a letter, postmarked from San Antonio.
My heart flips and makes my stomach queasy. No one from back home knows where I live. Except my lawyer. My hands shake as I flip the envelope over. Before I peel it open, I glance around. I don’t want to open this out here, not when I don’t know what it is.
Being the mature adult I am, I shove it back into the box and slam the door, locking it and stepping away.
Anyone would think something creepy is in there, by the way I stare at it. Before I can change my mind, knowing it’ll play on my mind regardless, I grab the bike from where it was propped against the wall and hurry outside.
My plan was to head back to the park to draw. But I’ve lost my motivation for that. Suddenly, I feel all alone again and another shiver racks through me.
I’m not going back in there. Not yet. I’m not ready. Instead of doing what I planned, I climb on the bike and set off, with no destination in mind. At least it’s not raining. All that thought does is remind me of a naked, wet tattooed God in my kitchen.
Although the more I think about him, the less I believe he’s an asshole.