Chapter Twenty
Calli
Staring at Garrett without a shirt on is like looking into the hottest, brightest sun. He’s blindingly, intensely attractive. All that ink on display, and the light golden sheen of his skin is mouthwatering.
He turns on the lamp on the bureau behind him. It’s showing me every part of him, every ridge and dip of his muscles, the chiseled cut of his cheekbones and the tenseness in his jaw as he watches me. He tore off his top and then stopped.
I want that skin against mine, I want him to wrap himself around me and inside of me. It takes a damn lot of willpower not to jump on him. We stare at one another. It’s so intense the hair on my arms stands on end.
Patience has always been something I’m good at, but this? This is torture.
When Garrett finally makes a move toward me, my breath comes quicker.
“Up,” he taps my arm. I immediately raise them, and he pulls my shirt up and over my head, leaving me in the strapless bra.
His eyes move over my body, and he makes a noise of approval. He reaches up and grabs my wrists, pushing them together and holding them in one of his large hands. The other trails down the skin of my inner arm, down to my breastbone. He tucks his fingers into the center of the bra and tugs the cups down.
My chest heaves as he stares at my breasts. As I expected, he toys with the piercing on one of them, still keeping my arms above my head. I thought staring at me was torture. No, that was nothing compared to this.
My arms ache, but I barely feel it over the pull in my nipples as he twirls the beads in between his fingertips. He lets go of my wrists, my arms fall down to my sides. Garrett cups my breast from beneath and stares at his hand as it squeezes and caresses me. His skin is dark against my pale flesh. Everything about us is a contradiction. We shouldn’t work at all.
He moves into me, forcing me backward toward the bed. The backs of my knees hit the mattress, and he helps lower me to a sitting position.
He told me he wouldn’t hold back when so far, he’s barely touched me. My fingers itch to grab him, to peel off the rest of his clothes and mine. I watch, mesmerized as he drops to his knees, pressing my legs wide so he can fit his large body between them.
His focus is still on my breasts, more specifically the piercings. Pressing my hands on the bed behind me, I lock my elbows and lean back, arching my back up to him. My breath catches when he unscrews the clasp on one piercing.
My nipples are so hard and tight, I can barely breathe. He never takes his eyes off what he is doing. My pussy is soaked and practically convulsing as he pulls the piercing out. Then pushes it back in.
Slowly, watching intently, he pulls it out again.
All I can think about is him pushing in and out of me. How is it possible that something as simple as this is turning me on so much? He is simulating sex with the piercing. My head tips back and I moan as he does it again, slower this time.
The hot wetness of his mouth closing over the nipple shocks me and I gasp, arching even harder. He bites down, then leans back and blows as he presses the piercing back in. My heart is racing, it’s getting harder to breathe. I’ve never experienced anything more erotic in my life.
Outside of these four walls, I could never explain to anyone what this man is doing to me. People in my old life could never imagine me being with a man like this and I want to defy that thought. He makes me feel the way no other man ever has.
His eyes are pinned to me, every part of him is present right now and all he cares about is pleasuring me. I can feel it in the way he is touching me. I’m not stupid, the indecision he went through as I walked away was clear. It hurt initially. My ego was bruised at the thought of him taking off.
I was on top of the world when he got off his bike. The way he is making me feel right now, I’ve gone straight through the atmosphere.
He carefully takes out the piercing and sets it on the bed, lavishing my breast with kisses, licks and bites.
“It should have been me,” he growls.
Without having to ask, I know what he means. Damn, I wish it was him too. It would have been a very different experience if he’d pierced me instead of Katja.
“Your skin is beautiful, pure,” he licks the underside of my breast. “I want my mark on it.”
My heart thumps, I’m sure he feels it. He looks up at me and I stare back. I’d made it clear I don’t want a tattoo. Marking myself permanently never appealed to me. Hearing Garrett put it that way has me wishing he could do it, right now.
Part of me tells me not to let this man control me. The other part is saying control isn’t what Garrett means. Not where a tattoo is concerned. His other hand rests between my breasts.
“Here,” he says in a low voice. “Something this beautiful, a canvas in itself. I’m not sure I could enhance it, but fuck I want to try.”
I sigh out a sound, a word.
“Was that a yes?” he asks in excitement.
Hesitating, I sit up higher. Was it?
“Will you let me ink you, Vixen?”
Oh God. If he does it the way he used my piercing, I’m not sure I could get through him tattooing me. From the look in his eyes, he’s thinking the same thing. More likely, remembering the video of me fucking myself on his tattoo table.
His hand moves quicker than my brain can keep up with as he reaches under my skirt and tears my panties down. I barely have to lift to let him pull them underneath my ass. His thick fingers enter me and I let out a sharp cry at the intrusion. The welcome intrusion.
“Will you let me?”
My mind has splintered at the feel of him pushing in and out of me. What is he asking again?
“Will you trust me to put my art on you?”
“Yes,” I sigh as my thighs shake.
Garrett surges up and grips the back of my neck, he lowers me down onto the bed and thrusts his fingers in and out harder. The intensity in his eyes and his movements holds me captive. The thought of tattooing my skin is making him lose himself, the same way I’m about to lose my grip on my sanity.
His hand comes around to the front, his thumb resting on one side of my throat as his fingers encircle the rest of it. A moment of fear takes hold of me. I’m completely at his mercy, he can do whatever he wants to me right now. It passes faster than it started when his fingers caress, rather than squeeze.
How can one hand be so gentle, while the other is pushing in and out of me so hard? The thought has me clenching around his fingers, it’s almost painful how much I want to let go. It takes a moment to catch up with my body when I realize he is gone.
My eyes snap open in time to see him tearing down his jeans and underwear. In the next moment, he’s grabbed my thighs, pulling me toward him as his hips snap forward and his cock stretches me. A silent scream tears out of me and my breath is taken when his mouth closes over mine.
He keeps up a steady but firm pace, thrusting in and out of me as he grabs one of my thighs and lifts it, hooking it over his elbow and spreading me wider.
“Fuck,” he groans. “You feel too good. So. Fucking. Good. Want to fuck you all night.”
His lips clamp on my neck and he bites and sucks as he thrusts harder, pinning me to the bed with every part of his body. I couldn’t move even I wanted to. All I can do is hold on to his sides and take it.
It almost feels like I’m going into shock as my legs shake.
“Need you to come, Vixen. All over my cock, let me feel it.”
Coming on command has only ever happened when I’m with Garrett. The filthy words he’s whispering in my ear, the thrust of him inside of me and the way he alternates between biting and sucking my skin all converges into one huge explosion. It’s got to hurt how tight I clench around him. He groans loudly as I do as he ordered and come so hard my vision goes black.
“Yes, damn it. Shit,” he grunts as he tries to move through my climax, not ready to stop despite how my body is limp in his arms.
His mouth takes mine, and he bites down on my lower lip as his movements become erratic. He’s mindless, focused on his own pleasure but he pauses, and I almost cry out as he pulls out of me. I open my eyes to see him grabbing his cock, jerking his hand up and down until ropes of thick cum cover my stomach and thighs.
I don’t care one iota as I look up the length of him, the tenseness of every muscle, the rigid, thick cock between his inked fingers. He’s a fucking masterpiece.
I have to fight the urge to grab a pad and pen and draw him like this. In a moment of intense pleasure and completely vulnerable. He throws his head back and lets out a controlled groan. Unable to fully let himself go, even as his body releases over me.
Usually, I’d be shocked and maybe disgusted at the thought of a man doing this. Not Garrett, it’s the second time he’s done it now.
Yes, it’s filthy, but it’s part of him. That thought scares the shit out of me.
He collapses forward but doesn’t put any of his upper weight on me. He’s still between my thighs, our hips touching, his skin pressed to his release, keeping it between us, spreading it over our skin.
Gently, he touches his thumb to my lower lip. Only now do I feel the throb. He catches it between his lips and sucks gently. My lower stomach tightens at the feeling of his tongue licking over the swollen area where he bit me.
When he pulls back, the pads of his fingers brush over my cheek and he watches me, studying every nuance of my face. Our heavy breaths mingle as we come down from the high.
This is the part where he pulls back and leaves. The disappointment must show on my face because he frowns down at me, shifting his fingers over my forehead before ducking down and pressing a kiss there.
My chest practically bursts. There was something incredibly tender about that kiss, something completely unexpected. It makes the loss of him when he pulls back, that much harder to take. I sink into the mattress, trying to make sense of my feelings. My eyes squeeze tightly closed. Don’t do it, Calli. Don’t think more of this than what it is.
Garrett returns to the bedroom holding a cloth. I watch in silence as he cleans me up. Somewhere along the way he lost the rest of his clothes, and is still naked as he concentrates on what he is doing.
Finished cleaning us both, he drops the cloth on the ground and lies on the bed, with his head against the headboard. It seems awkward being halfway down the bed.
“Come here,” Garrett’s voice is low but soft.
Doing as he asks, I move up and settle beside him. A shiver escapes and he moves, lifting the covers, making me wriggle to get beneath them. He picks up my nipple ring he took out earlier.
As he settles beside me, he toys with it, before peeling back the cover and leaning over me.
His expert fingers insert it and screw the bead on to keep it in place. Sometimes I have trouble when I swap them out because of how fiddly it is. Not Garrett. He was a piercer when he was an apprentice, he’s had plenty of practice. Has he done it to women in a more intimate setting before?
Uh, I hate that thought. Stop it.
“They close fast when it’s a newer piercing,” he tells me. “I don’t want them closing up.”
My brow arches at him. He smirks back, flicking my nipple and making me gasp. All too soon he takes his hand away and puts his arm up behind his head, resting on his biceps.
“Sorry about the lack of condom. We keep doing that,” he shakes his head as if it’s anomaly he’s not sure he’ll be able to figure out. “I meant it. I am clean, you don’t need to worry.”
“Thank you,” I respond quietly. “Me too. I got tested before-” I trail off, not wanting to clarify that. Garrett doesn’t miss the tone of my voice and the sudden clamping of my lips.
“Before what?” he asks, rolling his head to look at me.
“Coming here,” I say, looking up at the ceiling.
“Any particular reason?”
“No,” I answer quickly.
“That sounds genuine.”
“It’s my business,” I say, tucking the blankets under my arms.
“No one said it wasn’t. If you don’t want to tell me, I’m not going to force you.”
My heart starts to beat faster. Don’t panic. Not now. Garrett’s face comes into view as he rolls over and leans across me. He watches me fighting the panic attack, his brow creased in concern.
I need to get out of here.
Garrett has other ideas. His lips crash down on mine, and he puts a muscular arm over my stomach as he kisses me. I’m so surprised, all I can do is kiss him back. He slows it down, his tongue swirling slowly with mine. My heart rate slows and the tenseness in my muscles slowly relaxes. The kiss goes on long after I’ve relaxed completely.
He lifts his mouth from my lips but traces them along my jaw to my ear, sucking on the skin there. I forgot he knows what that does to me. My body reacts to the new stimulation and a surge of desire washes over me. I toss the covers aside and push Garrett onto his back.
He watches me with heavy lids as I straddle him. He’s already hard and a sense of victory sweeps through me. Kissing me did this to him. He watches me as I press up on my knees and hold him in position.
His eyes roll as I lower slowly onto him, pushing down until I’m sitting on his lap. His hands come to my thighs, sweeping up and down slowly, gently. He lets me take control, watching me as I ride him, alternating between slow and fast. I pay close attention to his facial expressions and the beat of his heart beneath my palms on his chest.
It’s clear he is struggling to contain himself, his jaw tightening and his breath getting faster. I up the tempo, squeezing and releasing him hard as I slide up and down.
He grunts. “I’m gonna…” he trails off into a long groan before he can finish that sentence. There is no need for him to. His cock pulses inside of me.
I grab my breasts and tug on my nipples until a climax rips through me too. His eyes on me make me feel like I’m the only woman in the world. And the only thing that matters right now, is us here together, in my bed.
This is new, using sex to push away my problems. I never intended on falling into bed with someone so quickly after leaving my home and my old life. Regardless of what I’d intended, there is no escaping the fact his actions prevented another panic attack.
He’s made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship, and I feel the same. Still do, but the need to talk, to tell someone the secret I’ve kept inside is overwhelming me.
He says he won’t make me talk. Truth is, I want to.
Sin knows some of it, but not everything.
“Did you look it up, after I told you about what happened?”
“Yes,” he answers without hesitation. “I told you that.”
Why wouldn’t he? The case was huge, it’s hard to hide from it. Though I’ve done a good job so far. The letters in the kitchen drawer prove I will not get away from it as easy as I’d hoped. They remain unopened.
Maybe talking about this will make me feel brave enough to do it.
It seems wrong to tell him this while his dick is inside me. I wince as I pull off him. Garrett has a bigger than average dick and all those piercings. Fucking it twice has had an effect.
“You okay?” he asks.
I give his dick a long look and his laugh surprises me.
“And it’s not done with you yet. Do you have a bathtub?”
My lips part, why would he ask me that? I do actually. When I nod, he gives me a slow smile.
“I hear baths have a soothing effect. To make it easier.”
“Easier for what?” I ask brazenly, deciding to play the game too.
“More fucking.”
Okay, I walked into that and I’m nowhere near as good at it as he is. My cheeks heat. They burn even hotter when he winks at me. Calm down, it was just a comment. With a sexy wink full of promise.
Jesus.
I shuffle to the end of the bed so we’re facing one another, needing to get away from all that hotness. And the need to fill up the tub I’ve not used yet.
Garrett watches me grab his shirt and pull it over my head, a proprietary expression on his face. Something tells me it’s not about the T-shirt.
One thing I’ve learned about Garrett, he’s intuitive. He doesn’t want people to see that, but he is always anticipating how people will react. Both good and bad. He cares about the people he works with, no matter how much he acts like an asshole. Is it foolish to think that extends to me?
“Jared,” I pause. Even saying his name makes me want to vomit. Taking a deep breath, I start again. “He wasn’t only ripping apart my company. He was breaking his vows too.”
He understands what I’m saying because his face creases angrily, but he holds his silence. I grasp the comforter beside my thighs.
“The worst part is, I knew her. Well. And the way I found out was walking in on them in my bed. He didn’t even live there anymore.”
“He brought someone into your house, after everything that happened?”
“After all the other shit, yes,” I let out a harsh laugh. “While he was waiting to go to court. Guess he was getting it while he still had the chance. He definitely wasn’t going to get anything from me. So he went for the next best thing.”
Garrett sits up, his stomach muscles contracting, momentarily drawing my attention.
Anything is better than the memory of walking into my bedroom, wondering what the hell the noises were when the house should have been empty. The fear and annoyance that warred inside me, thinking another reporter had broken in, and I’d have to call the police again.
“A friend did that to you?” He reaches out and wraps his hand around my ankle.
Such a simple gesture, but I feel it deep inside of my soul. His anger is obvious, as is the knowledge it’s not aimed at me. It’s the comfort he’s giving me which knocks me off my axis. Simultaneously giving me the strength to get the words out.
“Worse.”
I force back the emotion and the memory of walking into my bedroom that day. It’s something that will live with me forever, for a long time it was burned into the back of my eyeballs. How do you get over something like that?
“My mother.”
His fist clenches around my ankle, but he quickly releases it, though doesn’t take it away. “That’s fucking… Jesus,” he stumbles, not having the words to describe how vile what he’s hearing is.
“Tell me about it,” I snort. “Last thing I expected to see was my husband railing my mom.”
His frown deepens. The words are harsh, but my tone isn’t. The sadness I’d been hoping would fade away is still there. The anger at their betrayal is strong too.
“I was relying on her. I had no one left.”
“Why the fuck would she do that?”
I shrug. I still have no clue, and didn’t want to hear any explanations. I haven’t seen her since I threw both of them out of my house. That was the day I called Sin.
“She chased me down the stairs to tell me she was sorry, that she didn’t mean to hurt me.”
“Let me guess, it just happened?” he shakes his head.
“Tale as old as time,” I roll the hem of Garrett’s T-shirt through my fingers. “Until Jared kindly informed me it had been going on for months. My mom and my husband. It’s not a good idea to bleach your eyeballs, but it was all I wanted to do after seeing that.”
“Shit, Calli.”
“Yeah, like he couldn’t take anything more from me. She was my only family. Apart from a dad who walked out when I was a teenager and didn’t care enough to…” I shake my head. “You don’t need to hear about my problems.”
“It’s her loss,” he says. “Family is supposed to have your back, no matter what.” The look on his face is so dark, it surprises me.
“So now you know there is more to me running away from that life.”
“You didn’t run away.”
“Really? You know that’s pretty much what you’ve been saying since you met me?”
“I never said you were running away. I said you were wasting your talent. That’s different.”
“Well, thank you for clarifying.”
He squeezes my ankle again. Is it a show of support? I’m pouring my heart out for the first time about my mom. I don’t notice he’s moved until the bed dips beside me. He takes hold of my waist and lifts me up, shifts and deposits me on his lap.
All I can do is stare at him. He says nothing, even when I rest my head on his shoulder. I will not cry. Not for Jared, or what my mom did. Not even because I don’t want Garrett seeing me break down. I’m tired of it. Tired of all the feelings that got hurt, the anger that followed, the loneliness.
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t want to think about it anymore.”
“I get that,” he says, his fingers have slipped beneath the T-shirt and are running up and down my spine. “I’ll stop putting pressure on you. You’ll get where you need to go on your own.”
“You don’t have to do that. I mean, the way you’re doing it is a little heavy-handed but maybe it’s what I need.”
“Sometimes my methods make sense,” he squeezes my hip. “I haven’t done it to hurt you.”
“I know,” I tilt my head up to see his face. “I’m not mad.”
“Really? I kind of like you mad.”
Who is this man? He’s not the Garrett I’ve been used to for the past few months. I’m not sure how long it is going to last.
Something is passing between us here but before I can figure it out, he shifts so that I move off his lap.
Garrett will not change. I’m not what he wants. I’m what he wants now, but in the long run, nothing is going to come of this. All I can do is go with the flow. Whatever he will offer right now, I’ll take it. While I still can.
I’m raw and wrung out from talking about what the two closest people to me did. He rises and reaches for my hand. After a brief hesitation, I take it and he tugs me off the bed.
“What are you doing?” I ask as he presses his hard, naked body against mine.
Between my legs throbs from the way he is looking at me.
“I’m going to get you wet, Calli,” the low growl of his voice is intoxicating.
My face burns hot, and I picture him pushing me up against the wall. To my disappointment, he leads me toward the bathroom.
“First, I’m going to get you squeaky clean,” he looks over his shoulder and winks. “So I can dirty you up all over again.”
Oh. Now I see his intentions.
Watching how his muscles move, and the tautness of ass as he bends over to start the bath, is not that bad after all.
Neither is what comes after.