Chapter 11 - Tolliver
She kissed me.
She didn’t run.
What does it mean?
Do I have a chance to win her back?
The questions ran riot in his mind, nearly driving him crazy. He’d been lying in bed staring at the ceiling for the better part of two hours. Sleep wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Sighing, he sat up and planted his feet on the floor. Dropping his head in his hands, he relived every moment of his and Laila’s kiss. He analyzed the memory from every angle, as he’d been doing since they parted ways. She was the one who kissed him, so it must mean she was open to something more between them. Or maybe she hadn’t been thinking clearly…
Still, she hadn’t run away in horror as she did the other night. Maybe he had a chance of making things right between them… or was he getting ahead of himself over one kiss?
“Gods!” he hissed. He would drive himself over the edge of sanity if he kept thinking about it. Sitting in that dark room, unable to sleep, would only lead him to think about it. He had to get out of there.
Tolliver slipped out of bed, pulled on a shirt, and hurried out of the room. He didn’t even bother to glance at Laila’s door or stop to listen and see if she was still awake. He had to avoid temptation. Outside, he stopped on the porch and inhaled, hoping the night air would cool his raging need.
Maybe if he busied himself patrolling the perimeter, he’d regain control of his racing thoughts and emotions and eventually get some sleep. His senses were on high alert as he made his way toward the edge of the property.
An hour later, he’d inspected beyond the cabin, and he was still on edge and aroused. Looking skyward, he groaned. There was no stopping his mind from wandering to thoughts of Laila. Years ago, he’d wanted it all with her. When he claimed her as his mate, he’d had visions of marriage and children… A long, happy life together with the woman made for him.
That was before the opportunity to join the Black Ops presented itself. Back then, he thought joining the group was the only way he could do his part to stop others from losing their loved ones the way he and Elena had. He never thought he’d have to choose between what he wanted to do with his life and the woman he loved. When he discovered Laila’s resentment of the organization, he lied to her about his career pursuit and broke up with her without telling her why. Looking back, he realized that was a huge mistake.
“I’m an idiot,” he whispered as he stared at the cabin. He needed to win Laila’s heart again—he would if it was the last thing he did. With renewed determination, Tolliver marched back inside and went right back to her door. He was too wound up to sleep, and if Laila was still awake… Well, he wasn’t sure what would happen.
Just as he lifted his hand to knock, the door swung open. He stared at her, stunned. It was as if she’d been waiting for him, but maybe that was wishful thinking. Their gazes locked, and suddenly, he didn’t know what to say. Since they reunited, he’d been on a roll with saying the wrong things to upset her, and he didn’t want to do that now.
A blush crept across Laila’s cheeks. “I heard you come back inside. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Neither could I.” As he studied her upturned face, he knew the night wouldn’t end before he made her his again. Without another word, he stepped into her room and closed the door.
“I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about you and that kiss,” Tolliver admitted.
“I’ve been thinking about it, too. It was…”
“It was amazing,” Tolliver finished. And it had dredged up the feelings for her that he’d been trying to keep under control.
“Yes…” Laila whispered.
Tolliver stepped closer. “I’ve been thinking about doing it again.” As if under compulsion, he reached out and grazed her cheek. She didn’t flinch or pull away, and it encouraged him to go further. His hand slid to the back of her neck. Her lips parted as she gazed up at him, and her light gray eyes darkened to gunmetal. His head lowered, and he watched her closely, waiting for her to protest or push him away. He hesitated when he was close enough to feel her breath on his face.
To his relief, Laila leaned forward. “I wouldn’t mind doing it again, either.”
That was all the invitation he needed. His mouth crashed onto hers almost desperately. Tolliver pulled her against him, lifting her to straddle his waist, and she wound her legs around him without hesitation. Their kiss became wild and ravenous, as if they were trying to make up for the last five years. He couldn’t wait any longer. He had to have her. With their mouths still connected, he walked to the bed to lay her down.
His lips left hers to trail down her jaw and neck as his hands roamed her body, rediscovering every curve and dip. Laila reached between them to tug at his shirt, and he paused to lift it over his head and toss it aside. In pulling her top over her head, he got too excited and ripped the flimsy material.
“Damn it,” murmured. “I’m sorry.”
Laila’s giggles floated around the room, and he couldn’t help smiling. “It’s okay,” she said.
“I forgot my strength,” he explained. “I haven’t done this in a while.”
Her amusement faded as she gazed up at him. “How long?”
Tolliver held her gaze. “Five years.”
Her sharp intake of breath was audible in the quiet room. He wasn’t sure if she believed him. How could he have even thought about touching another woman when Laila held his heart? She always would. He almost told her that but thought better of it. Considering her lack of trust in him, taking things slow might be best.
“Oh… um… I haven’t been with anyone else either,” she admitted.
That was a relief because the animal in him could be unreasonably possessive, and he’d likely hunt down any lovers she’d ever had to rip them apart. “Good,” he said and went back to exploring. She gasped when he traced the top of her bare breasts. The heat rising between them was almost too much for him to bear as he fumbled to remove the rest of her clothes. When he got to her underwear, he slid it down her thighs slowly, his gaze never letting hers go. Their eye contact made the simple action so erotic that a soft moan of need escaped her.
Tolliver took his time to study every inch of her, his eyes devouring the curves he’d once worshipped. He was finally getting the chance to do so again, and he’d make every second count. His gaze lingered on the tempting flesh between her legs. “You’re more beautiful than I remember, Laila.”
Her skin flushed a pretty pink as her chest rose and fell rapidly. “I want to see you too,” she whispered.
He tugged his pants down, which was the only thing he had left on. When he left the cabin earlier, he hadn’t bothered to put on underwear. It was easier to go without in case he had to shift on the spur of the moment. Laila’s eyes were fixed on his erection, and a tiny smile lifted his lips. “I hope you like what you see.”
“You’re more beautiful than I remember as well,” she said. As he expected, her cheeks glowed pink. He loved how easily she blushed.
He lowered himself to hover over her so he could trail kisses down her chest, pausing to take a hardened nipple into his mouth. Laila arched her back, and her fingers tangled in his hair. One touch of his mouth on her skin heightened that desperate need inside her.
He teased her mercilessly and sweetly with his mouth, nipping each nipple and then soothing the skin with his tongue. The different sensations drove her wild and sent her arousal to a new high. Tolliver stopped his sweet torture to feather kisses down her chest and abdomen. Her breathing sped up as he got closer to where she craved his attention. He parted her legs and draped them over his shoulders while holding her gaze.
Laila had always been comfortable with Tolliver. He was made for her, so that came naturally. However, his penchant for staring into her soul during their most intimate moments hadn’t changed, and it was a tad daunting, especially since they were no longer a couple. She let out a breath when he released her from his assessing gaze. His breath fanned her mound, and that alone almost made her combust.
She squirmed with anticipation as he feathered kissed on the inside of her thighs. Laila had almost reached the point of shamelessly begging for him to give her relief when his tongue finally slid over her clit. She gasped, and her fingers tightened in his hair. As Tolliver continued his delicious assault, her entire body quivered. Tolliver slid his arms under her legs to hold her in place. He increased the flicking of his tongue to a punishing pace, and that had her writhing and moaning his name.
The sound of his name spilling from her lips in that sultry tone was like music to his ears. He hadn’t realized how much he missed it until now. He wanted to hear it over and over, night after night… but he was getting ahead of himself. When she reached her climax, Laila’s hips bucked against him, and her legs tightened around him. He held her as she trembled uncontrollably and then slid his way back up her body. Her hot skin against his felt like heaven.
Breathless and flushed, Laila gazed at him with wide eyes. “Holy crap. I didn’t think it was possible for you to get any better at that.”
Tolliver smirked. “Thanks for the compliment.”
Her blush intensified. “I’m sorry I almost strangled you with my legs in the end there.”
He chuckled. “At least I would have died happy.”
Letting out a half moan, half giggle, she covered her face with her hands. Laila was the type to get awkward and flustered, even during sex, and that had always been endearing to him. The things that made her super special hadn’t changed, and he wanted them to be together again, so badly it hurt. He pulled her hands away from her face and kissed the inside of her wrists.
“I need you now, Tolliver,” she whispered.
Just as he needed her. Without another word, he positioned himself between her soft thighs. Her legs locked around him in invitation, and her body arched into his. He entered her carefully, sliding in inch by inch and giving her time to adjust. She said it had been a while for her, so no matter how lost he was in his haze of need, he’d always put her comfort first. When he was buried to the hilt, he stopped to look at her.
She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, with her lips slightly swollen from his hungry kisses, her eyes cloudy with desire, her skin flushed, and her luxurious dark brown tresses spread across the pillow.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She wiggled her hips experimentally and then nodded. “Yes. Give me more.”
He began to move, slowly at first but with increasing urgency. Laila’s mewls of pleasure with each thrust spurred him on. As she got swept away in the moment, her wolf surfaced, and her claws raked his back. The animal in him growled its approval, and his thrust became more powerful. He was completely consumed by the pleasure coursing through his veins—consumed by the woman in his arms. She owned his body and soul. The way she writhed and clung to him, the way she whispered his name, drove him to the edge.
He let out a long groan as he kissed her neck, his teeth nipping her skin. She shuddered, and her walls tightened around him. “Laila…” he whispered her name reverently. She was everything he’d ever wanted, and he had her back… even if it was one night. Laila’s body tensed, and she let out a cry as she convulsed. The spasms of her walls around him triggered his release, and he followed her into ecstasy.
Even as he collapsed beside her, he didn’t let her go. He pulled her closer and basked in the feeling of her warmth surrounding him. They stayed wrapped up in each other for a while. Neither of them spoke, and Tolliver wondered what she was thinking. He wished he could tap into their mate’s bond and see the impression of her thoughts. However, he’d lost that right and had to work hard to earn it back.
Laila had been quiet for too long, and just as he got worried enough to break the silence, he heard her rhythmic breathing. He glanced down to see her fast asleep. His heart practically melted at the sight of her so relaxed in his arms. Her head was on his chest, and her face was tilted up, so he got a good look at her. Her long lashes created half-moons on her cheeks, and she looked so serene.
He let out a satisfied sigh, closed his eyes, and fell into a deep, calm sleep for the first time in a while.