Chapter 15 - Tolliver
Tolliver slowly came awake. For a moment, everything felt right. Laila was beside him where she belonged, and her warmth radiating from her felt amazing. She was curled into him, her head resting on his shoulder, and her arm draped across his chest as if made to be there. He inhaled, taking in her soft floral scent. It was the same scent he used to bury himself in years ago.
As the seconds ticked by and reality seeped back in, a bittersweet ache started in his chest. Laila was in his arms, but she was still emotionally unreachable, it seemed. Everything was different between them—uneasy and fragile. After they left Cedar Ridge and went back to Bellefleur, their relationship shifted into something less hostile. Laila had softened toward him a little, and they became… friends.
Unfortunately, things changed again when Ryder and Zach came up with the idea of a fake engagement between Laila and Tolliver. According to them, the mysterious kidnappers had taken single women so far. If it were public knowledge that Laila was mated, maybe they’d lose interest in her. It was a weak theory since the kidnappers seemed just to be getting started, but they had to try something.
Laila hadn’t been pleased with their fake engagement. It meant they had to pretend to be in love in public. It wasn’t pretend to him, but to her, there was nothing left between them. It was driving him crazy. He ran a hand lightly down her back, barely wanting to touch her because he was afraid she’d wake and pull away like she had so many times before. In the span of a week, they’d become something more than friends but less than lovers. How crazy was it that he was now his mate’s fuck buddy? Tolliver sighed softly. He had no one but himself to blame for that insane turn of events.
Laila stirred, and he instantly stopped touching her and froze. Her eyes fluttered open. When her gaze met his, for a second, he saw something softer and vulnerable in her sleepy orbs, but it was fleeting. As he expected, she put distance between them and threw up her guard. He stifled a frustrated sigh and let her go.
“Morning,” she murmured, sitting up and smoothing her wild mass of hair.
“Good morning.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Sleep well?”
Laila glanced at his bare chest and blushed profusely. She had slept very well, wrapped in the comfort of his arms, but he knew she wouldn’t admit it. “I slept how I’ve always slept.”
Tolliver resisted the urge to roll his eyes. When had Laila become so stubborn? Gritting his teeth, he reminded himself that he had to be patient.
Barely meeting his gaze, she said, “I should get going. I have lots of things to do today.”
“Like what?” Tolliver’s eyebrows snapped together.
“Clean…” she said weakly.
He had allowed her to make a quick escape every other morning, but not today. “The house is spotless.” They’d moved to his place since his team had found the kidnapper lurking near her cabin.
“Well, I…” She shrugged. “I need to make breakfast and then work on dinner. Elena and Ryder are coming over for dinner.”
“It’s not even seven a.m. yet,” he challenged.
“There’s a lot to prepare, Tolliver,” she snapped. “So, I need to get started.”
She was already out of bed and hurrying to the door with one of the sheets wrapped around her. He sighed heavily and flopped back onto his pillow. Winning Laila back was proving to be harder than he thought. Spending passionate nights together and acting like strangers in the morning wouldn’t work for him much longer.
He skipped breakfast with Laila. Perhaps it was time to try a new tactic. He’d leave her alone and let her sort out her emotions. Since she was safe at his house with his impeccable security system in place, he decided to head to the office to give her the space he thought she needed. Besides, Ryder said he had an update on the case of the mysterious kidnappers.
Tolliver found Laila in the kitchen, cleaning up. “Hey.”
She turned to him. “Hey. You didn’t have any breakfast.” Pink infused her cheeks, and she averted her gaze. “Not that I’m forcing you to eat what I make or anything… It’s just that I know you have a healthy appetite in the morning.”
Tolliver shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. He hated the awkwardness that always enveloped them. The only time things went smoothly between them was when they were caught up in passionate sex. “Yeah, I just thought I’d give you space. It seemed like you needed it.”
“Oh…” Laila glanced at him, taking in his slacks and a button-down shirt. “Are you heading out?”
“I’m going to the office for the day. Ryder has an update, which I’m dying to hear about. I know you’re also eager for a break in the case.” So she can be free of me , he thought bitterly.
“I am. Your place is nice and all, but I miss my apartment and my bakery… and my life…”
Her life far away from him. Tolliver held her in an intense stare. In that moment, he wanted to let it all out, bare his soul, and tell how much he regretted the way he left her years ago. But he held back. Maybe she wasn’t in the mood for all of that. “I know,” he said instead. “We’ll have you back to your life in no time, I promise. I need you to promise me something, too.”
“What’s that?”
“Don’t run off into town or anywhere else while I’m gone.”
“Don’t worry,” she murmured as she tugged at her shirt, barely meeting his gaze.
“I’ll stay here and won’t go anywhere. If I absolutely have to leave, I’ll call.”
Tolliver nodded, his jaw tight. “Good,” he replied, forcing himself to sound casual. “Just… be careful.”
She looked back at him, and her expression softened for a second before she masked it with a polite smile. “I will.”
Without another word, he turned and left. Although frustration boiled in his veins, he didn’t show it. Their polite, sometimes detached tone of conversation might drive him over the edge of sanity.
“Just keep it together,” he whispered as he aimed for his motorcycle. The freedom of speeding through town on the thing might help to clear his head and calm him a bit. He straddled the sleek machine and revved it before hurtling out of the driveway. The cold morning air hit him as he made his way down the winding road toward Bellefleur’s town center. It felt good, and he needed the moment alone to work through his raging emotions.
By the time he reached the Black Ops headquarters, he was much calmer and ready for whatever Ryder had to tell him. He strolled through the building, greeting his co-workers until he reached his office. Closing the door, he leaned against it and blew out a long, weary breath. It was tough to come into work and put on an unbothered mask when he was bothered to the extreme. His mate no longer wanted him the way he wanted her, and it was slowly killing him.
Scrubbing a hand over his face, he flopped down in his chair. Despite his inner turmoil, returning to his office felt good. The familiarity of the room comforted him somewhat. The sight of his computer and other equipment was a relief. This was what he was made for—technology. Being the tech genius of the Black Ops made him feel useful, and he needed that. Lately, with Laila, he felt so helpless.
Rolling his neck, he booted up the computer and started working on emails and videos the staff in his department had sent him. Their magical community had several ongoing cases, but the kidnappings had taken precedence. It was time to give the other incidents some attention.
The first video on the long lost that popped up made Tolliver groan. It was of a vampire-werewolf brawl in a bar owned by a human in a neighboring town. Zach happened to be acquainted with the bar owner, who knew about the supernatural community. The problem was that a human recorded the fight. It was released last night. By Tolliver’s guess, it could go viral by that afternoon.
Muttering a curse, he picked up his office phone to call downstairs for the two most promising new recruits. A female voice filtered through the speaker. “Good morning, Tolliver. How can I help you?”
“Hi, Margot. Are Benny and Francisco in today?”
“They were sent out this morning, but Francisco checked in a few minutes ago. He said they should be back at HQ in twenty minutes.”
“Send them both up to my office the minute they get back.”
“Will do.”
Just as he put the phone back in its cradle, his door opened, and Ryder barged in.
“You ever heard of that little common courtesy called knocking?” Tolliver murmured as he scrolled to the next email.
Ryder waved him off and sat down in the chair in front of Tolliver’s desk. “The boundaries between us are different from everyone else at this office, bestie. You know that.” He propped his feet up on the desk and grinned broadly.
Tolliver rolled his eyes and shoved Ryder’s feet off the furniture. He then put his feet up, crossed them at the ankles, and smirked.
Ryder scoffed. “You get to do it, but I can’t?”
“It’s my desk, you ass.”
With a huff, Ryder sat back. “Anyway, it’s good to have you back in the office. The place has been a real drag without you.”
“I doubt that. The new recruits think I’m a soul-sucking ogre. Seriously, I heard one of them say it.”
Ryder threw his head back and laughed. “They have every right to think that. Your scowl can be extremely intimidating.”
Tolliver shrugged as a spark of amusement went through him. Only those who truly knew him looked beyond his stony mask and knew his bark was worse than his bite… for a lucky few. When they started dating, Laila had seen past his somber demeanor and reticent ways. She had a gift to draw him out of his serious shell every time. The thought of her brought in a wave of melancholy he’d been fighting all morning.
“Are you okay?” Ryder asked, eyeing him with curiosity.
“No.” He gave his friend a pointed stare. “And I don’t want to talk about it. You said there was a break in the case. Let me hear it.”
Ryder’s eyes narrowed on Tolliver. He was dying to ask what was going on, but as lifelong friends, he knew Tolliver would only close himself off more if he were pressed for information, so he pushed his concern aside and shared the team’s recent discovery.
“While you were away playing bodyguard to your ex-girlfriend…”
Tolliver gave him his famous frigid stare, and Ryder grinned.
“We found out who the mastermind behind the kidnappings is.”
Tolliver planted his feet back on the floor and sat taller. “No shit. I missed a hell of a lot.”
“Hey, Laila needs protection. She’s still one of us. The entire team agreed that you should be by her side. I don’t even know why you came in today.”
Tolliver stifled a sigh. He came in because Laila needed space… from him, specifically. “Laila is fine. My place is like Fort Knox, and she promised to stay inside. Get on with it. Who are we looking for?”
Ryder pulled his phone from his pocket, and his fingers flew across the screen. The ping of an incoming email on his computer echoed, and Tolliver opened it.
The screen lit up with a photo of a man in his early thirties. His dark brown eyes were piercing and cold. A hardness in them suggested the man was no stranger to violence. His features looked severe and calculating. The ruthless vibe the man gave off was unsettling. Tolliver’s blood ran cold as he imagined his Laila in the man’s clutches.
“Meet Jonas Mercer,” Ryder said. He sat back, crossed his arms, and waited for Tolliver to examine the information.
Jonas Mercer was the CEO of BioForge Labs. He had no living relatives, was he married or in a relationship, and had no children. The man was a respected scientist. His schooling and the speed with which he accomplished so much pointed to the man being a genius. Tolliver looked at Ryder with raised eyebrows. “He’s into biogenetics… He’s incredibly intelligent.”
“The crazies ones are always geniuses,” Ryder quipped. “I wonder why? Mercer is a philanthropic CEO by day, but then he runs an underground trafficking network. His foot soldier, the same one who was following Laila in that security footage, spilled his guts. I told you I’d get him to talk.”
“You can be a bit scary under your happy-go-lucky facade, you know that?” Tolliver shook his head. “Does Elena know you’re a ruthless bastard?”
Ryder’s smile was ridiculously angelic. “She does, and she loves me anyway.”
Rolling his eyes, Tolliver grunted his amusement. “Since you got him to spill, why does Mercer want to get his hands on Laila and female shifters who look similar to her?”
“That is still a mystery, my friend. I got the little piggy to squeal about everything he knows. Apparently, he’s just a minion who does what he’s told. He has no real inside information.”
Tolliver rubbed his eyes and sighed long and hard. “More mystery… awesome.”
“You’ll have to question Laila and find out if she’s ever met Mercer. There has to be some connection.”
“Yeah…” Tolliver’s eyebrows furrowed. “So, we finally know who to go after to end this mess once and for all. After that, life goes back to how it was before.” And that bothered him. His life before was without Laila. If it hadn’t been for Jonas Mercer’s treachery, would he and his ex-girlfriend ever have reunited? Would he have come to his senses and realized that work would never fill the hole in his heart that was created when he and Laila broke up?
“That look on your face says you don’t like the idea of life as it was,” Ryder said quietly.
Tolliver’s eyes flickered to his best friend. For all of Ryder’s humor and shenanigans, he was one of the most insightful people Tolliver knew. Tolliver exhaled and admitted quietly, “I don’t. Before this whole mess with Mercer, I thought I was fine. But seeing Laila again, it’s like she pulled everything back into focus. I want… no, I need her in my life.”
Ryder studied him closely. “Then make sure it happens.”
“If only it were that simple,” Tolliver drawled as he took up the stress ball on the corner of his desk to crush the hell out of it.
“I know things are complicated, but you’ve got every excuse to be in her life right now, Tolliver. You have the time to win her over.”
Tolliver’s jaw tightened, his frustration bubbling up. “I’ve been trying, man. She doesn’t trust me.”
“Try harder. She’s your mate. She’s only been back in your life for a short time, and I can already see the difference. You’ve been less of a tight ass lately, and you actually smile and laugh like a normal person. Clearly, Laila is the cure for your brooding.”
He gave Ryder the dirtiest look he could muster. “Why the hell does it matter how hard I try?” he snapped. “How can I show her I’m a different person when I’m in the same goddamn job that took me away from her in the first place? There is going to be more trouble and more missions, Ryder. The last time, I was gone for two months. Say I convince Laila she can trust me with her heart again? What’s the point if I disappear on her again because of the job?”
“Hey, I make it work with my family. Others do, too.”
“My sister understands and accepts your role as a black op,” Tolliver challenged. “Laila hates the organization. She’s been living like a human for years and has established a life in their community. She won’t accept my job and the distance it might put between us sometimes.” His shoulders slumped. “As much as I want back what I had with her, maybe…” he tucked his chin into his chest. “Maybe I’m not good for her.”
Ryder could only stare at Tolliver. He didn’t know what to say. He’d never seen his friend in such an emotional state— never heard him express raw emotions that much. Finally, when he recovered from his shock, Ryder frowned. “You’re her mate, her fated partner. I don’t see how it’s possible for you not to be good for her.” That was all he had, and hopefully, it gave Tolliver an ounce of comfort.
Raking his fingers through his hair, Tolliver said, “I need to get my shit together and make sure Laila is safe. I can worry about my heart after.”
“Your heart is pretty important, man.”
“That may be, but I’d rather see it ripped out my chest than see anything happen to my mate. I still love her, Ryder. I’d rather live without her knowing she’s alive and safe than focus on my feelings and mess up this job. I need to focus on finding Jonas Mercer to eliminate the bastard.”
“This isn’t a one-man job,” Ryder reminded him.
“If it were Elena in jeopardy, you’d probably have already found the man and killed him twice.”
After a moment’s consideration, Ryder grunted. “You’re damn right I would have. Do what you have to do. Just keep your head screwed on straight, and don’t take unnecessary risks.” His lips twisted into a wry smile. “You can’t win your woman back if you’re dead.”
Tolliver snorted his amusement. Sometimes, they both turned to dark humor to lessen the stress when a situation was dire. “True,” he said.
Ryder chuckled and was about to say something when there was a knock on the door.
“Hey, boss, Margot said you wanted to see Benny and me,” Francisco called from the other side of the door.
“Ah, double trouble is here,” Ryder said, standing up. “I’ll leave you to it.”
Tolliver smiled slightly. Benny and Francisco were indeed trouble, especially together. The duo was already a force to be reckoned with, and their future in the Black Ops looked bright. When Ryder opened the door, he slapped his palms with the two younger guys. Benny stepped into the office first.
“Sup, boss?”
“Sup?” Tolliver repeated with an arched eyebrow. “Use full English in my office, Benny.”
“What’s up, boss?” he said with a boyish grin that made Tolliver shake his head. The two took nothing seriously.
“For the hundredth time, stop calling me boss.”
Francisco stepped in. “It’s all good. We call the three head honchos’ boss.”
Tolliver blinked. “And the head honchos would be…?
“You, Alpha Zach, and Ryder,” he replied.
“I see…” Deciding to drop the subject because he was fighting a losing battle, Tolliver waved them over to his desk. “I have a job for you two, and it’s going to require a witch.”
“We love witches,” Benny smirked. “I met a really hot one the other day and…”
“Benny, I don’t need to hear about your dating escapades,” Tolliver warned.
“Right.” Giving Tolliver a sheepish look, he asked, “What’s the job?”
Tolliver explained the problem with the vampire and wolf brawl caught on tape. “There’s this witch named Cora,” he said. “I bet she can make that human forget what he saw after you two find him and delete that video he has. I’ll do my part by making it disappear from all online platforms. I’ll convince Cora to go along with you guys.”
“Okay,” they chorused.
“And for the love of the gods, boys, don’t get up to any of your antics with her. Keep her safe and be nice, or I’ll have your heads.”
“Relax, boss.” Francisco smiled. “Benny and I are always perfect gentlemen around the ladies.”
“Yeah, right,” Tolliver grumbled. “In any case, I’m sure Cora will hand you both your asses if you mess with her. She’s a feisty little witch. Get going and send me an update.”
Benny and Francisco saluted him as if they were in the army and took off.
As soon as Tolliver was alone, he went right back to thinking about Laila. He just couldn’t help it. She haunted every corner of his mind.