Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Sofiya
When I wake up, Dimitri is gone. For some reason that makes an ache settle in my bones.
I miss him when he’s not around but I’m also relieved when he’s not next to me.
Dimitri’s presence is a powerful thing and I can’t always handle it.
But I’m trying to endure like my father wanted. Trying to make things work with him.
Last night when he comforted me, I had never felt more safe. Dimitri is not afraid to humiliate me though. That’s the part of him that scares me.
I go in search of him but can’t find him anywhere. Ann is in the laundry room, folding towels. “Do you know where Dimitri is?”
“He told me he had to leave for business. That’s it.”
“Did he say when he’d be back.”
“No.” She gives me a pointed look. “And I have work to do.”
“I didn’t mean to bother you.” With nothing else to do, I eat breakfast, alone. I look across the table at Dimitri’s empty seat. It’s just work. He’ll be back later. But I’m already craving his touch. Craving him.
This is becoming dangerous.
That’s when I notice a packet of seeds on the counter. They weren’t here last night. Dimitri must have gotten them for me. I gasp with happiness. Finally, I can garden again.
I don’t hesitate to run to my closet to change into something more appropriate for gardening.
But my overalls aren’t in here. I check every nook and cranny but don’t find them.
I’ll need them if I’m going to garden, so I call my mom.
Dimitri never said I couldn’t and he can’t keep me from my mom forever.
“Sofiya, it’s so good to hear from you.” The relief in her voice is apparent. She’s glad I’m not dead.
“Mom, can you bring my overalls here? I want to do some gardening.”
“Of course. I’ll be right there.”
While I wait, my eyes slide over to the bookshelf against the wall that I know is hiding Katya’s bedroom. A whole other person is in there, just living her life. One who’s afraid to leave.
Maybe I can help her. I know she didn’t ask for my help but it’s obvious that she needs it. Dimitri isn’t getting her into therapy when he should. No one should want to stay inside a room all by themselves forever.
Knowing Dimitri won’t be happy with me, I open the bookshelf and knock on the door.
“What?” Katya asks from the other side.
“It’s Sofiya. Can I… come in?” I know better than to barge in like last time.
She’s quiet for a long moment before saying ‘yes.’
I find Katya on her bed, reading a book. She looks annoyed to be interrupted. “Sorry. I can come back another time.”
“You’re here now. Dimitri told me everything when I asked. That you’re his wife. I guess you weren’t lying.”
“Did he say why he didn’t tell you initially?”
“Because he knows I don’t handle change well. He wanted to ease me into it.”
“Understood.” I stand in the doorway, awkwardly gripping the doorknob, wondering what to do.
She looks me over critically. “Did you need something?”
“I just wanted to talk. Seeing as you’re my sister-in-law. I think it would be good for us to get to know one another.”
“I’m not used to talking to people other than Dimitri.”
“I can leave if you want.”
She hesitates for a long moment before setting her book down. “No. We can talk.”
“May I come in?”
She motions to a chair in the corner of the room.
“Have you ever considered leaving?” I ask, sitting down in the chair.
“Is this going to be an intervention of sorts? You convince me to leave my room when I don’t want to?”
“Aren’t you curious to experience more than just this room? To see what’s out there?”
A darkness clouds her features. “I know what’s out there. I know how dark this life can be. And I don’t want any part in it.”
“Because of what your father did.”
“Yes. So I know what life is like out there. I don’t need to experience more.”
“But there’s good things too.”
She gives me an incredulous look. “Like what?”
“Like fun things.”
“I have fun things in here. Books and a TV and a computer and puzzle games. I exercise. I do fun things.”
“Sure. But one thing I love to do is garden. That you can’t do inside a room.”
“Yes, you can. You can get a garden pot and have it in your room.”
Katya is making this very difficult. It’s obvious to me that she is not going to leave her room unless dragged out.
“I was going to go garden,” I say. “Outside. You could join me. It could be fun. Relaxing. Get some fresh air. When is the last time you’ve gotten fresh air?”
To that, she has no response. There are no windows in her hidden room. Vents, yes. But windows to the outside world? Nothing.
“You could join me,” I say again, more gently. “You don’t have to leave the house. I’m not asking you to run away. Just come outside and garden with me. I have some seeds Dimitri bought me I need to plant. We can grow it together.”
She stares at me a long time before answering. “Why do you care?” There’s a waver in her voice like she’s trying to hold back her tears.
“Because I do. Do I need to have a reason? You’re my age. You’re my sister now. I just feel like I should help you.”
“I didn’t ask for your help.”
“I know. But I’m offering it. Dimitri is enabling you, keeping you in here. You should get out. Come garden with me.”
“What are you, a psychologist?”
“No. Just a concerned sister-in-law. That’s all.
But I won’t make you leave. If you’re interested though, my mom is coming over soon and bringing my overalls.
I was going to garden then. If you’re interested, you can meet me downstairs in thirty minutes.
Don’t give me an answer now. Just think about it.
” I leave the room before she can say anything.
My heart is pounding. I know Dimitri is not going to be happy with me when he finds out about this but Katya needs help. She can’t stay in that room forever.
When the doorbell rings, I rush downstairs, excited to see my mom again.
“Sofiya,” she exclaims when I open the door. We hug each other so tightly, I’m not sure either of us are ever going to let go. “How have you been?”
I bring her inside. “I’ve been… good. Did you bring my overalls?”
“I did.” She hands them over. “Your father wasn’t happy about me coming over here. He told me that he made a deal with Dimitri so you and I can see each other once a week. So, I said I’m calling that in today. I just had to see you.”
“I miss you.” Being around my mom makes me want to cry. Just the safety and warmth of her feels so good.
“I’ve missed you too.”
“I would ask you to stay but I’m not sure if you can.”
“Are you worried about Dimitri? What he would think if he saw me here?”
“Yes,” I admit.
A scowl crosses her face. “Well, I don’t care. He’s not going to hurt me. He can’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Do you honestly think he’ll hurt the mom of his wife?”
“I don’t think so.” But Dimitri is unpredictable. I would never speak to him again if he hurt my mom but if he wanted to get his way bad enough, he just might be willing to do anything.
“So, I’m safe. I’m spending time with my daughter. There is nothing wrong with that.”
“I know.”
“Why don’t we garden together?”
I hesitate. What if Katya shows up? It’s been almost thirty minutes.
Dimitri might be ok with my mom being here but I’m not sure if he’d be happy with Katya being out of her room and my mom seeing her.
The truth is: I don’t have any say in what happens to Katya.
She is not my sister by blood. That decision is up to Katya and Dimitri.
“What’s wrong?” Mom asks.
“Nothing is wrong. But I just think I want to do some gardening by myself. Maybe next time. We can agree on a time next week.”
“I would love that but I can tell something is bothering you.”
I love my mom but I wish she’d stop being so observant. “It’s –,”
Before I can say anything else, I hear footsteps behind me and see Katya in the foyer. Her eyes widen when she sees my mom.
Mom looks startled. “Hi. I’m Sofiya’s mom. And you are?” She gives me a look, like ‘why is there another young woman in this house?’
“This was a mistake,” Katya says before running away.
“Katya, wait!” I chase after her and manage to grab her arm before she can run away some more. “Just wait.”
She rips her arm from my grasp. “I thought it would just be the two of us. Not some random woman. What are you trying to do to me? I don’t want to be around all these people.”
“My mom was just bringing my overalls to me. That was it. She’s leaving now. We can still garden together.”
Some of the panic leaves Katya’s face but it’s clear to me that she still wants to run. “I didn’t even want this. You forced me out of my room. I’m telling Dimitri when he comes home.”
“I never forced you, Katya. You left. It’s ok to want some fresh air. It’s ok to want more than your room.”
“No!” she screams so loudly, it makes me flinch back. “No. I didn’t ask for this. I just want to be back in my room where I know it’s safe.”
“Please, Katya. My mom can leave.”
“She’ll tell people about me and then they’ll come to hurt me.”
“No one will come to hurt you. Tell her, Mom.”
Slowly, my mom steps forward, not having the full context for this situation but she still tries her best. “I won’t tell anyone about you. I promise. I have no desire to put anyone in danger.”
Katya’s breathing starts to slow down as she looks into my mom’s eyes. Polina has always had a trusting face. Warm and inviting. I see the moment Katya fully calms down.
“Ok,” Katya whispers.
My mom gives her a warm smile. “Ok. I can go. I will go.”
But before she can leave, Dimitri walks in through the front door at that very moment. The warmth in the room turns to ice.
He looks between me, my mom, and Katya, assessing the situation before a dark expression crosses his face. “What is the meaning of this?” His tone is on the edge of danger. Ready to explode.