Chapter 57
CURITIBA PARANá
The room was empty when Bryson woke up. His head hurt.
Adria had been everything he needed last night. Except it seemed even she could not chase his demons away forever. He knew that Regan couldn’t be completely driven away in one night, but having the quiet, if even for a moment, gave Bryson the hope he had been searching for.
Trying to put himself back together, Bryson went for a run.
The path was worn under him, and he tried to keep his eyes straight ahead. The morning light grew into the jungle all around him, and just as the heat started to flare on his skin, Bryson went inside.
When he came back, he turned the shower on.
“Adria?” Kaydon’s voice came into the bathroom.
“Just me, Kay,” Bryson responded.
“Why is she such an early riser all the sudden,” Kaydon said, coming into the bathroom
“She’s been having nightmares,” Seth said, behind Kaydon.
Kaydon turned. “Is that why she didn’t stick around for Rolland?”
That was news to Bryson. “Nightmares about what?”
Seth shrugged.
Bryson raised an eyebrow at him and Seth blushed. “I don’t know, okay, but if I did, I wouldn’t tell you unless she was ready.”
“Is that so?” Bryson said, his voice changing and, to Seth’s credit, his face didn’t waver.
Adria had earned Seth’s loyalty, and it was beautiful to see.
“How was your night?” Kaydon asked, putting his hand under the shower’s stream, testing the temperature.
“Helpful,” Bryson said.
Kaydon didn’t push, and Seth leaned against the far wall. Bryson could tell the two of them wanted to ask him more, but neither of them did. Instead, they just stood there. Giving him space.
Kaydon and Seth only wanted to hear what Bryson wanted to share.
A certainty fell over him. Talking to Adria had helped, and Bryson didn’t want to keep running from the two of them.
Hiding from them.
Seth and Kaydon deserved to know.
“I actually wanted to talk to the two of you,” Bryson said, his body starting to shake.
Kaydon removed his hand from the water and turned. Seth’s blue eyes met Bryson’s.
“There is no easy way to say this,” he said. “So I’m just going to come right out and say it—Regan forced me to play with him. Forced me to Dom him.” Bryson took in a shaky breath.
“And I mean some sick stuff, cattle prods, water boarding. . .”
Bryson’s voice trailed off, leaving the shower as the only sound in the room. Kaydon and Seth seemed to be holding their breath. Like if they moved, breathed even, they would break some sort of spell.
Bryson closed his eyes. “Sometimes I got off with him, got off on it. Adria says it’s normal for the body to respond, and I believe her. But it doesn’t feel like it absolves me. And the truth is I don’t feel like a safe place for the two of you anymore.”
He opened his eyes but chose to look at the floor instead. “I’m glad we have Adria, because she can fulfill your needs from now on.”
The water splashed next to him, and the room started to fill with fog.
Two hands reached out, grabbing his shirt.
Bryson allowed Kaydon to peel his black t-shirt from his body, and smaller hands pulled at his waistband, removing his shorts.
His clothes were dropped onto the floor, followed by Seth’s and Kaydon’s. The air was warm, but Bryson shook.
Maybe he should have told them with Adria. She was better with words.
Kaydon’s breath was hot as he pressed his forehead against Bryson’s, Seth’s head resting on Bryson’s shoulder, and the three of them just stood there.
Leaning against each other, breathing.
With every shaky breath, Bryson felt more grounded.
They didn’t need to talk.
They just needed to be near each other.
Together.
Eventually, Kaydon spoke. “You meet our needs, Bryce. Every one of them, please don’t doubt that for a second.”
Bryson breathed out, the weight of the moment threatening to bubble up. He didn’t want to cry. He wanted to be strong.
“We all went through it,” Bryson whispered. “It doesn’t seem fair that I should get to keep you three, after….”
Seth gripped his chin, bringing his face to meet his.
Seth trailed his tongue along Bryson’s lips.
“What does fair have to do with it? How many fuckers have we put in the ground? How many people got turned off because the Nine decided? While the four of us are still breathing. None of it’s fair, but we roll with it because that is who we are. Who you are.”
“And you didn’t do anything wrong,” Kaydon said.
“I fucked him,” Bryson said. “Had him inside me, me inside him. He’s everywhere, and now even though he’s dead, I can feel him.”
“Right now?” Seth asked, kissing the side of Bryson’s neck.
“No,” Bryson said truthfully.
Kaydon nipped at his ear, and Bryson’s dick jumped. “Now?” Kaydon teased.
Bryson couldn’t help but smile. “No, not right now.”
Seth licked up his jawline and then pulled back, looking at him seriously. “When?”
Bryson’s smile faded. “When I’m hurting you, or getting into Dom mode. His face just pops in. Adria tried to let me Dom her to see if that would work and it did, but when she was fast asleep, I could hear him talking to me.”
“What does he say?” Seth asked.
“You’re a monster, Bryson, just like me. You like to hurt me and I like it too. We are the same. Made for each other.”
“Fuck that guy,” Kaydon said. “He doesn’t take that from you. Your Dominant side has nothing to do with what he put you through. You know that, Bryson.”
“Here is what we are going to do,” Seth said. “We’ll have a safe word. Something that tells us that you’re dissociating and either Kay or I will take over. Take some of the pressure off you. If it doesn’t work, we’ll stop.”
Seth sank to his knees, and Bryson watched his beautiful face take his cock into his mouth.
Bryson growled. Fuck, that felt good.
Kaydon’s hand wrapped around Bryson’s neck, and Bryson felt his pulse under Kaydon’s hand.
“Adria let you Dom her,” Kaydon whispered in Bryson’s ear. “What was that like?”
Bryson sucked in a breath as Kaydon bit into his neck. He could feel the blood rushing to the surface; that, paired with Seth’s warm mouth swallowing him into the back of his throat, caused his vision to blur.
Just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. Like Kaydon and Seth had telepathic powers, somehow they both stopped at the same time.
Kaydon released him, and Seth’s mouth moved away.
Cold air filled the space, and Bryson took in the two of their faces. Seth’s tongue jutted out and licked the length of him, and Bryson bit his lip, stifling a sound.
Kaydon pulled Bryson’s chin to him and kissed him deeply.
“You were trying to go through it all alone, but that’s not how we do things, is it?” Kaydon said, releasing the kiss.
Bryson practically whimpered under his touch.
He didn’t want to keep them out. “I didn’t want to give you guys more to deal with.”
Kaydon replied, “You don’t think we can handle it?”
Bryson shook his head. “You two can handle anything.”
The three of them moved into the shower, and each of them took their time washing the other off. Seth’s hand kept drifting in between Bryson’s legs and stroking him. The edging was next level.
“Somebody’s been learning some things from our Mistress,” Bryson teased.
He expected Seth to flush under the playful chiding, but Seth hit him with a look that sent all of Bryson’s blood straight to his cock. “Maybe I am,” Seth said.
Kaydon’s broad hands rubbed Bryson’s back, washing the hard-to-get places, and Bryson enjoyed the intimate touches.
Seth turned and pressed his ass against Bryson’s now rock-hard erection.
“I know what you are doing, Killer,” Bryson said.
Seth leaned his slick body into Bryson’s chest. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Kaydon pressed his tight chest into Bryson’s back, and Bryson leaned into the support from the two of them, wrapping his arms around Seth.
Seth leaned his head against Bryson’s shoulder. “The safe word should be lettuce.”
Bryson laughed.
“What, I tried to think of something you wouldn’t normally say,” Seth said.
Bryson’s chest hurt as he continued to laugh about the absurdity of the whole thing. It made him angry that Regan had put this rift between him and his brothers. That by assaulting him, he broke something that should have been unbreakable.
Seth and Kaydon had so much faith in him. They thought he could do anything, but the truth was he couldn’t.
“Hey,” Seth said, turning. “Where did you go? Are we at lettuce already?”
“No,” Bryson lied, but when Kaydon squeezed him, he said, “maybe we are close to lettuce.”
Seth smiled. It wasn’t laughter, or pity, it was a genuine expression. He had enjoyed Bryson’s honesty.
“Seeing you leave those cells every day, knowing that Kaydon and I couldn’t do anything to help you. I know it’s not the same as what you went through, but it broke something in me that I didn’t know existed,” Seth said.
“Me too,” Kaydon said, nuzzling into Bryson’s neck.
“It was a helplessness worse than when I was younger,” Seth said.
“At least when I was a kid, I could think I was too small, too little, but now I know that’s not true.
I just keep thinking maybe there was something I could have done.
Something I could have said to get Regan to play with me instead. ”
Bryson’s hand was on Seth before he even thought about it. “I don’t want you to think like that. I would have died if that were you. If you had to go through the things that I did—” Bryson’s voice cracked.
“We went through it, Bryce, just in a different way,” Kaydon said behind him.
Bryson swallowed the lump in his throat. The three of them always wanted to protect. Wanted to see themselves hurt, in place of the other.
He hadn’t thought about the pain they would have felt, not being able to save him. Bryson had been too busy trying to protect them to see it.
He needed to stop telling them that it was fine, and start listening to them like they were listening to him.
“What can I do?” Bryson said, feeling a familiar stirring.